A re-action against the extravagance which marked the entertainments
of the London Season of 1890 having set in, the following rules and
regulations will be observed in the Metropolis until further notice.
1. Persons invited to dinner parties will be expected to furnish their
own plate and linen, and some of the viands and wines to be used at
the feast.
2. To carry out the above, a _menu_ of the proposed meal will form a
part of every card of invitation, which will run as follows:--"Mr. and
Mrs. ---- request the honour of Mr. and Mrs. ----'s company to dinner,
on ---- when they will kindly bring with them enough for twelve
persons of the dish marked ---- on the accompanying _Menu_, P.T.O."
3. Persons invited to a Ball will treat the supper as a pic-nic, to
which all the guests are expected to contribute.
4. On taking leave of a hostess every guest will slip into her hand a
packet containing a sum of money sufficient to defray his or her share
of the evening's expenses.
5. Ladies making calls at or about five o'clock, will bring with
them tea, sugar, milk, pound-cake, cucumber sandwiches, and bread and
butter.
6. As no bands will be furnished at evening parties, guests who can
play will be expected to bring their musical instruments with them.
N.B. This does not apply to pianofortes on the premises, for which a
small sum will be charged to those who use them.
7. Should a _cotillon_ be danced, guests will provide their own
presents, which will become the perquisites of the host and hostess.
8, _and lastly_. Should the above rules, compiled in the interest
of leaders of Society, be insufficient to keep party-givers from
appearing in the Court of Bankruptcy, guests who have partaken of any
hospitality will be expected to contribute a gratuity, to enable the
Official Receiver to declare a small and final dividend.
* * * * *
PERQUISITES.--"Nice thing to belong to National Liberal Club,"
observed Mr. G., who didn't dine at that establishment for nothing,
"because, you see, they go in there for 'Perks.'"
* * * * *
"NOBLESSE OBLIGE!"
_(Latest Reading.)_
_Noblesse oblige!_ And what's the obligation,
Read in the light of recent demonstration?
A member of "our old Nobility"
May be "obliged," at times, to play the spy,
Lay traps for fancied frailty, disenthrall
"Manhood" by "playing for" a woman's fall;
Redeem the wreckage of a "noble" name
By building hope on sin, and joy on shame;
Redress the work of passion's reckless boldness
By craven afterthoughts of cynic coldness;
Purge from low taint "the blood of all the HOWARDS"
By borrowings from the code of cads and cowards!
_Noblesse oblige?_ Better crass imbecility
Of callow youth--_with_ pluck--than such "nobility"!
* * * * *
HOME-ING.--Dr. BARNARDO'S delightfully simple plan of getting a little
boy to sign an affidavit to the effect that he was so happy at Dr.
BARNARDO'S Home, Sweet Home, and that, wherever he might wander, there
was really no place on earth like Dr. BARNARDO'S Home, may remind
Dickensian students of a somewhat analogous method apparently adopted
by _Mr. Squeers_ when, on his welcome return to Dotheboys Hall, he
publicly announced that "he had seen the parents of some boys, and
they're so glad to hear how their sons are getting on, that there's
no prospect at all of their going away, which, of course, is a very
pleasant thing to reflect upon for all parties." The conduct of such
parents or relatives who send children or permit them to be sent to
Dr. BARNARDO'S Home, Sweet Home, where, at all events, they are well
fed and cared for, bears some resemblance to that of _Graymarsh's_
maternal aunt, who was "short of money, but sends a tract instead, and
hopes that _Graymarsh_ will put his trust in Providence," and also
to that of _Mobb's_ "mother-in-law," who was so disgusted with
her stepson's conduct (for DICKENS meant step-mother when he wrote
"mother-in-law"--an odd _lapsus calami_ never subsequently corrected)
that she "stopped his halfpenny a-week pocket-money, and had given a
double-bladed knife with a corkscrew in it to the Missionaries, which
she had bought on purpose for him." We don't blame Dr. BARNARDO--much;
but we do blame these weak-knee'd parents and guardians, who
apparently don't know their own minds. In the recent case which was
sarcastically treated by the Judge, Dr. B. found that he could buy
GOULD too dear.