CHAPTER II.

1834.

My birthplace.--My father and mother.--Circumstances of their

marriage.--Their short married life.--Birth of their child.--Death of

my mother.--Her character and habits.--My father as a widower.--Dulness

of his life.--Its degradation.

I was born at Laneside near Shaw, which is now a manufacturing town of

some importance about two miles from Oldham in Lancashire, and about

four miles from Rochdale in the same county.

Laneside is a small estate with some houses and a little cotton-mill

upon it, which belonged to my maternal grandfather. The house is of

stone, with a roof of stone slate such as is usual in those parts, and

it faces the road, from which it is separated by a little enclosure,

that may be called a garden if you will. When I was a child, there were

two or three poplar trees in that enclosure before the house; but trees

do not prosper there, and now there is probably not one on the whole

estate. One end of the house (which is rather long for its height and

depth) abuts against the hill, and close behind it is the cotton-mill

which my grandfather worked, with no great profit to himself or

advantage to his descendants. I have mentioned a road that passes the

house; it is steep, narrow, and inconvenient. It leads up to an elevated

tract of the most dreary country that can be imagined, but there are one

or two fields on the Laneside estate, above the stone-quarry, from which

there is a good view in the direction of Rochdale.

I never knew my grandfather Cocker, but have heard that he was a lively

and vigorous man, who enjoyed life very heartily in his way. He married

a Miss Crompton, who had a little property and was descended from the De

Cromptons of Crompton Hall. I am not aware that she had any family

pride, but, like most people in that neighborhood, she had a great

appreciation of the value of money, and when she was left alone with her

daughter, in consequence of Philip Cocker's premature death, she was

more inclined to favor wealthy than impecunious suitors.

My father had come to Shaw as a young attorney some time before he asked

for Anne Cocker in marriage. He had very little to recommend him except

a fine person, great physical strength, and fifteen quarterings. He had

a reputation for rather dissolute habits, was a good horseman, an

excellent shot, looked very well in a ball-room, and these, I believe,

were all his advantages, save an unhappy faculty for shining in such

masculine company as he could find in a Lancashire village in the days

of George IV. Money he had none, except what he earned in his

profession, at one time rather a good income.

Miss Anne Cocker was a young lady with a will of her own, associated, I

have been told (the two characteristics are by no means incompatible),

with a very sweet and amiable disposition. At a time when my grandmother

still vigorously opposed the match with my father, there happened to be

a public charity ball in Shaw, and Miss Cocker showed her intentions in

a very decided manner, by declining to dance with several gentlemen

until the young lawyer presented himself, when she rose immediately with

a very gracious smile, which was observed by all near enough to witness

it. This was rather unkind perhaps to the other aspirants, and is, in

fact, scarcely defensible, but it was Miss Cocker's way of declaring her

intentions publicly. When my father made his offer, he was refused by my

grandmother's orders, but received encouragement from her daughter (a

tone of voice, or a look, yet more a tear, would be enough for a lover's

hope), and counted upon the effects of perseverance. At length, when he

and Miss Cocker thought they had waited long enough, they determined to

marry without Mrs. Cocker's consent, and the determination was notified

to my grandmother in the following very decided terms:--

"DR. Madam,--You are no doubt well aware of the warm attachment which

has long existed betwixt your dear daughter and myself. Upwards of

twelve months ago our affections were immovably fixed upon each other,

and I now consider it my duty to inform you that we are fully engaged,

and have finally concluded to be married within a fortnight of the

present time.

"I sincerely trust that all your hostile feelings towards me are

entirely worn out, and that you will receive me as the affectionate

husband of your beloved daughter, and I with great confidence hope we

shall be a happy family and live together with peace and harmony.

"At my request your daughter will have all her property settled upon

herself, so that I can have no control over it--thus leaving it

impossible that I should waste it. And I trust that by an active

attention to my profession I may be enabled not inconsiderably to

augment it.

"Be assured, Dear Madam, that your daughter and myself feel no little

solicitude for your comfort and happiness, and that we shall at all

times be most happy to promote them.

"It is our mutual and most anxious wish that you should not attempt to

throw any obstacle in the way of our marriage, as the only tendency it

could have under present circumstances would be to lessen the happiness

and comfort of our union.

"We trust therefore that your regard for your daughter's happiness will

induce you at once to give your full assent to the fulfilment of our

engagement, as you would thereby divest our marriage of all that could

possibly lessen the happiness we anticipate from it.

"I know that your principal objection to me has been on account of my

unsteadiness, and I deeply regret ever having given you cause to raise

such an objection; but I trust my conduct for some time back having been

of a very different character, will convince you that I have seen my

error. The gayety into which I have fallen may partly be ascribed to the

peculiarity of my situation; having no relations near me, no family

ties, no domestic comforts, &c., I may be the more excusable for having

kept the company of young men, but I can assure you I have lost all

inclination for the practice of such follies as I have once fallen into,

and I look to a steady, sober married life as alone calculated to afford

me happiness.

"I will wait upon you on Monday with most anxious hopes for your

favorable answer.

"I am, Dear Madam,

"Yours most respectfully,

"JOHN HAMMERTON.

"Shaw, June 1st, 1833."

The reader may be surprised by the double _m_ in the signature. It was

my father's custom to write our name so, for a reason that will be

explained in another chapter. The letter itself is rather formal,

according to the fashion of the time, but I think it is a good letter in

its way, and believe it to have been perfectly sincere. No doubt my

father fully intended to reform his way of life, but it is easier to

make a good resolution than to adhere to it. I do not know enough of the

degree of excess to which his love of pleasure led him, to be able to

describe his life as a young man accurately, but as my mother had been

well brought up and was a refined person for her rank in society, I

conclude that she would not have encouraged a notorious evil-liver.

Those who knew my father in his early manhood have told me that he was

very popular, and yet at the same time that he bore himself with

considerable dignity, one old lady going so far as to say that when he

walked through the main street at Shaw, it seemed as if all the town

belonged to him. It is difficult for us to understand quite accurately

the social code of the Georgian era, when a man might indulge in

pleasures which seem to us coarse and degrading, and yet retain all the

pride and all the bearing of a gentleman.

The marriage took place according to the fixed resolution of the

contracting parties, and their life together was immensely happy during

the short time that it lasted. Most unfortunately it came to an end

after little more than one year by my mother's lamentably premature

death. I happen to possess a letter from my father's sister to her

sister Anne in which she gives an account of this event, and print it

because it conveys the reality more vividly than a narrative at second

hand. The reader will pardon the reference to myself. It matters nothing

to a dead man--as I shall be when this page is printed--whether at the

age of fourteen days he was considered a fine-looking child or a

weakling.

"_Friday Morning._

"MY DEAR ANNE,--You will not calculate upon so speedy an answer as this

to your long and welcome epistle, nor will you calculate upon the

melancholy intelligence I have to communicate. Poor John's wife,

certainly the most amiable of all woman-kind, departed this life at

twenty minutes past eleven last night. Her recovery from her confinement

was very wonderful, we thought, but alas! it was a false one. The Drs.

Whitaker of Shaw, Wood of Rochdale, and Bardsley of Manchester all agree

in opinion that she has died of mere weakness without any absolute

disease. She has been very delicate for a long time. Poor dear John--if

I were quite indifferent to him I should grieve to see his agonies--he

says at sixty it might have happened in the common course of things and

he would have borne it better, but at twenty-nine, just when he is

beginning life, his sad bereavement does indeed seem untimely. It is a

sore affliction to him, sent for some good, and may he understand and

apply it with wisdom! They had, to be sure, hardly been married long

enough to quarrel, but I never saw a couple so intent on making each

other happy; they had not a thought of each other but what tended to

please. The poor little boy is a very fine one, and I hope he will be

reared, though it often happens that when the mother is consumptive the

baby dies. I do hope when John is able to look after his office a little

that the occupation of his mind will give him calm. He walks from room

to room, and if I meet him and he is able to articulate at all, he says,

'Ah! where must I be? what must I do?' He says nobody had such a wife,

and I do think nobody ever had. He wanted me not to write till

arrangements were made about the funeral. I thought you would be sorry

to be informed late upon a subject so near John's heart, and that it was

too late for Mr. Hinde [Footnote: The Rev. Thomas Hinde, Vicar of

Featherstone, brother-in-law of the writer of the letter.] to come to

the funeral. I have really nothing to say except that our poor sister

was so tolerable on Wednesday morning that I went with the Milnes of

Park House to Henton Park races, which I liked very well, but as things

have turned out I heartily repent going. Ann was, we hoped, positively

recovering on Monday and Tuesday, but it seems to have been a lightening

before death. She was a very long time in the agonies of death, but

seemed to suffer very little. Our afflicted brother joins me in best

love to you and your dear children. Kind compliments to Mr. Hinde.

"I remain,

"Your affectionate Sister,

"M. HAMMERTON."

The letter is without date, but it bears the Manchester postmark of

September 27, 1834, and the day of my birth was the tenth of the same

month. The reader may have observed a discrepancy with reference to my

mother's health. First it is said that the doctors all agreed in the

opinion that she died of mere weakness, without any absolute disease,

but afterwards consumption is alluded to. I am not sure, even yet,

whether my mother was really consumptive or only suffered from debility.

Down to the time when I write this (fifty-one years after my mother's

death) there have never been any symptoms of consumption in me.

No portrait of my mother was ever taken, so that I have never been able

to picture her to myself otherwise than vaguely, but I remember that on

one occasion in my youth when I played the part of a young lady in a

charade, several persons present who had known her, said that the

likeness was so striking that it almost seemed as if she had appeared to

them in a vision, and they told me that if I wanted to know what my

mother was like, I had only to consult a looking-glass. She had blue

eyes, a very fair complexion, and hair of a rich, strongly-colored

auburn, a color more appreciated by painters than by other people. In

the year 1876 I was examining a large boxful of business papers that had

belonged to my father, and burning most of them in a garden in

Yorkshire, when a little packet fell out of a legal document that I was

just going to throw upon the fire. It was a lock of hair carefully

folded in a piece of the bluish paper my father used for his law

correspondence, and fastened with an old wire-headed pin. I at once took

it to a lady who had known my mother, and she said without a moment's

hesitation that the hair was certainly hers, so that I now possess this

relic, and it is all I have of my poor mother whose face I never saw,

and whose voice I never heard. Few people who have lived in the world

have left such slight traces. There are no letters of hers except one or

two formal compositions written at school under the eye of the mistress,

which of course express nothing of her own mind or feelings. Those who

knew her have told me that she was a very lively and amiable person,

physically active, and a good horsewoman. She and my father were fond of

riding out together, and indeed were separated as little as might be

during their brief happiness. She even, on one occasion, went out

shooting with him and killed something, after which she melted into

tears of pity over her victim. [Footnote: A lady related to my mother

shot well, and killed various kinds of game, of which I remember seeing

stuffed specimens as trophies of her skill.]

The reader will pardon me for dwelling thus on these few details of a

life so sadly and prematurely ended. The knowledge that my mother had

died early cast a certain melancholy over my childhood; I found that

people looked at me with some tenderness and pity for her sake, so I

felt vaguely that there had been a great loss, though unable to estimate

the extent of it. Later, when I understood better what pains and perils

Nature inflicts on women in order that children may come into the world,

it seemed that the days I lived had been bought for me by the sacrifice

of days that my mother ought to have lived. She was but twenty-four when

she passed away, so that now I have lived more than twice her span.

The effect of the loss upon my father was utterly disastrous. His new

and good projects were all shattered, and a cloud fell over his

existence that was never lifted. He did not marry again, and he lost his

interest in his profession. My mother left him all her property

absolutely, so he felt no spur of necessity and became indolent or

indifferent; yet those who were capable of judging had a good opinion of

his abilities as a lawyer. Just before his wife's death, my father had

rather distinguished himself in an important case, and received a

testimonial from his client with the following inscription:--

_Presented to Mr. Hammerton, Solr, by his obliged client Mr. Waring, as

a token of Esteem for his active services in the cause tried against

Stopherd at Lancaster, in the arrangement of the argument arising

thereon at Westminster, and his successful defence to the Equity Suit

instituted by the Deft_. 1834.

My father's practice at that time was beginning to be lucrative, and

would no doubt have become much more so in a few years; but the blow to

his happiness that occurred in the September of 1834 produced such

discouragement that he sought relief from his depression in the society

of lively companions. Most unfortunately for him, there was no lively

masculine society in the place where he lived that was not at the same

time a constant incitement to drinking. There were a few places in the

Lancashire of those days where convivial habits were carried to such a

degree that they destroyed what ought to have been the flower of the

male population. The strong and hearty men who believed that they could

be imprudent with impunity, the lively, intelligent, and sociable men

who wanted the wittiest and brightest talk that was to be had in the

neighborhood, the bachelor whose hearth was lonely, and the widower

whose house had been made desolate, all these were tempted to join

meetings of merry companions who set no limits to the strength or the

quantity of their potations. My poor father was a man of great physical

endowments, and he came at last to have a mistaken pride in being able

to drink deeply without betraying any evil effects; but a few years of

such an existence undermined one of the finest constitutions ever given

to mortal man. A quarryman once told me that my father had appeared at

the quarry at six o'clock in the morning looking quite fresh and hearty,

when, taking up the heaviest sledge-hammer he could find, he gayly

challenged the men to try who could throw it farthest. None of them came

near him, on which he turned and said with a laugh of satisfaction,

--"Not bad that, for a man who drank thirty glasses of brandy the

day before!" Whether he had ever approached such a formidable

number I will not venture to say, but the incident exactly paints my

father in his northern pride of strength, the fatal pride that believes

itself able to resist poison because it has the muscles of an athlete.

It was always said by those who knew the family that my father was the

cleverest member of it, but his ability must have expended itself in

witty conversation and in his professional work, as I do not remember

the smallest evidence of what are called intellectual tastes. My mother

had a few books that had belonged to her family, and to these my father

added scarcely anything. I can remember his books quite clearly, even at

this distance of time. One was a biography of William IV., another a set

of sketches of Reform Ministers, a third was Baines's "History of

Lancashire," a fourth a Geographical Dictionary. These were, I believe,

almost all the books (not concerned with the legal profession) that my

father ever purchased. His bookcase did not contain a single volume by

the most popular English poets of his own time, nor even so much as a

novel by Sir Walter Scott. I have no recollection of ever having seen

him read a book, but he took in the "Times" newspaper, and I clearly

remember that he read the leading articles, which it was the fashion at

that time to look upon as models of style. This absence of interest in

literature was accompanied by that complete and absolute indifference to

the fine arts which was so common in the middle classes and the country

aristocracy of those days. I mention these deficiencies to explain the

extreme dulness of my poor father's existence during his widowhood, a

dulness that a lover of books must have a difficulty in imagining. A man

living alone with servants (for his son's childhood was spent

elsewhere), who took hardly any interest in a profession that had become

little more than nominal for him, who had not even the stimulus of a

desire to accumulate wealth (almost the only recognized object in the

place where he lived), a man who had no intellectual pursuits whatever,

and whose youth was too far behind him for any joyous physical activity,

was condemned to seek such amusements as the customs of the place

afforded, and these all led to drinking. He and his friends drank when

they were together to make society merrier, and when they happened to be

alone they drank to make solitude endurable. Had they drunk light wines

like French peasants, or beer like Germans, they might have lasted

longer, but their favorite drink was brandy in hot strong grogs,

accompanied by unlimited tobacco. They dined in the middle of the day,

and had the spirit decanters and the tobacco-box on the table instead of

dessert, frequently drinking through the whole afternoon and a long

evening afterwards. In the morning they slaked alcoholic thirst with

copious draughts of ale. My father went on steadily with this kind of

existence without anything whatever to rescue him from its gradual and

fatal degradation. He separated himself entirely from the class he

belonged to by birth, lived with men of little culture, though they may

have had natural wit, and sacrificed his whole future to mere village

conviviality. Thousands of others have followed the same road, but few

have sacrificed so much. My father had a constitution such as is not

given to one man in ten thousand, and his mind was strong and clear,

though he had not literary tastes. He was completely independent, free

to travel or to make a fortune in his profession if he preferred a

sedentary existence, but the binding force of habit overcame his

weakened will, and he fell into a kind of life that placed intellectual

and moral recovery alike beyond his reach.

Philip Gilbert Hamerton An Autobiography, 1834-1858, and a Memoir by His Wife, 1858-1894 · 第 2 / 38 章