THE THRESHOLD OF MY FATHER’S HOUSE.
I arose and moved forward, still keeping the gables in view, now lying
down on a bank for rest, now pausing to gather a wild berry, but always
diminishing the distance between myself and the dwelling.
The night came on, but excitement kept me wakeful. I had no lonesome
feelings. The skies above were crowded with stars, that seemed like
smiling play-fellows glad to have me in sight. The moonbeams fell
through the branches—for I was beneath trees now—and played around me
like a cloud of silver butterflies. Then came the delicious scent of
blossoms, the trees grew thin, and velvet turf yielded luxuriously to my
naked feet. Beautiful flowers were budding around me, enameling the turf
in circles, mounds, and all sort’s of intricate figures. These, like the
stars, seemed old playmates. Fuchias, heliotrope, moss roses—I
recognized them with a gush of joy, and talked to them softly as I stole
along.
A hard, gravel walk glistened before me, sweeping around the proud old
mansion whose gables I had seen. I entered it, but the gravel hurt my
feet, and leaving their little prints in dew upon it, I turned an angle
of the building. Now something of terror, a vague, dark, impassable
memory seemed floating between me and the stars. A shadow from the
building fell over me like a pall. I grew cold and began to shiver, but
still moved on toward the moonlight.
It was reached. I looked up, and before me was a great stone doorway,
surmounted with masses of dark marble, chiselled so deeply that hollows
seemed choked up with shadows which contrasted densely with the
moonbeams on the surface. Half a dozen broad, granite steps led to the
doorway. I stood upon these steps and looked upward. A strange sensation
crept over me. I grew colder, weaker, and sunk upon the stones with my
head resting upon the door sill. A rush of confused thoughts crowded
upon my brain and stunned it. I lay motionless, but with a vague idea of
existence.
The first thing that I remember was confused noises in the dwelling,
that sort of bee-like hum which accompanies the uprising of a large
household. Sometimes the sound of a door jarred through my whole frame,
and then I would drop away into some stage of unconsciousness; it might
be the sleep of pure exhaustion, or insensibility, I cannot tell.
At last there was a rustle and rush in the hall, the sound of feet and
brooms set in motion, with confused voices and the ponderous movement of
a door close to my head, that jarred through and through me. A
tumultuous sound of voices followed, a hastily-dropped floor-brush fell
across me—laughing, exclamations, bustling and noise; then I heard a
woman’s voice say distinctly above the rest, “Ah! here comes one who
knows something—he can tell us what it is!”
Then a voice followed that sharpened my faculties like a draught of
wine, “Well, what are you chattering about the door-stead for, like so
many magpies around a church steeple? Can the housekeeper find you no
better business?”
“Oh, come and see for yourself,” answered a peevish voice, “is it a
witch, an imp—a—a—do tell us, Mr. Turner, you who have been in
foreign parts and know all sorts of outlandish creatures by
heart?—look!—look!—its great black eyes are wide open now; you can
see them glistening through the hair that lies all sorts of ways
over its face. Gracious me, they burn into one like a live coal!”
“Stand back,” said the male voice, “stand back, and let me have room.
The creature is human! It may be—it may be—no, no, poor, wild thing—no,
no, God forbid!”
The voice was broken, eager and full of anxiety. I felt the long hair
parted back from my forehead, and opening my eyes, saw a little, old
face, wrinkled and contracted, but oh, how comforting!
“Those great, wild eyes—those lips pinched, blue!—this skeleton
frame—no, no, not hers, thank God for that, I could not have borne it!”
“What is the creature?—what shall we do with it?” inquired the female
voice.
“What is it?” said the old man, looking up from my face, “what is it? a
human soul almost leaving the body—a child’s soul! What is it?—don’t you
see, woman?”
“Is it dying? can it speak?” was the rejoinder.
The old man lifted me in his arms without answering, and laid my head on
his shoulder. A strange gush of pleasure came over me, and my soul
seemed melting away in tears—silent, quiet tears, for I was too feeble
for noisy emotions. I stole one arm around his neck, and nestled my
cheek close to his. Was the action familiar to the old man? With me it
was natural as the infant’s habit of lifting its hands to the mother’s
mouth, that it may gather her kisses.
He did not return the caress, but almost dropped me from his arms. His
bosom heaved, some exclamation that he seemed about to utter broke into
a groan, and directly I felt tears running down the cheek that touched
mine.
“Why, what are you about, Mr. Turner? What on earth are you thinking of?
Don’t you see how forlorn and ragged the creature is, and holding it
against your new mourning, what has come over you?” exclaimed the
housemaid, horrified and astonished.
The old man made no reply, but looked searchingly down on my old frock,
as if it had some deep interest to him.
“Very well, every one to his own business,” cried the housemaid,
resenting his silence, “you hug that little witch as if it was your
own—ha, ha, who knows!—who knows! oh, if my lord could but see you!”
The old man had been holding up a fold of my frock during this speech,
and was still intently examining the soiled embroidery. His thin face
writhed and twitched in all its features; but when he dropped the fold,
it settled into an expression of distressing certainty.
The old man looked on her with mournful sternness.
“Before heaven, I wish he could see us—his old servant, and—and—tush!
woman, go about your work—go all!”
“I wonder how she come here, at any rate,” persisted the housemaid,
saucily. “Gracious goodness! but the thing does seem to take to you, Mr.
Turner, so natural. Isn’t it a sight to behold?”
“Peace, woman!” cried the old man, stamping his foot till it rang on the
tessellated floor. “Have you no decency?”
“Decency, indeed!”
As the housemaid tossed her head, with this pert rejoinder, a tall,
haughty woman came through a side door and moved toward us. Her morning
dress swept the marble as she walked, and long silken tassels swayed the
cord slowly to and fro, which bound the sumptuous garment to her waist.
She held a tiny dog in her arms, which began to bark furiously as he saw
me.
“What is all this?” she said, addressing Turner. “Something found on the
door-step?—where is it? what is it like?”
“Very like a hungry, sick, dying little girl,” replied Turner, pressing
me closer to him, “nothing more!”
“Who can it be? have you the least idea, Turner?” cried the lady.
“I, madam—I, how can that be?”
“Don’t hide its face, Turner. Is it pretty? Hush, Tip. Jealous
already—there, there!”
While the lady was soothing her dog, Turner, with much reluctance and
many distortions, turned my head upon his bosom, and the lady saw my
face. She started.
“Heavens!—why, it is a perfect little animal!” she exclaimed, drawing
back. “What eyes!—how frightfully large! Mr. Turner, Mr. Turner, how
very imprudent in you! It may be contagious fever or small-pox. Do take
the creature away!”
She drew slowly back while giving this command, with a look of absolute
terror.
“Take her away—quite away!” she kept repeating.
“Shall I leave her on the door-steps, madam?” said he, with a sort of
rebuking humor.
There was something so familiar about his curt, dry way of putting the
question, that I felt more at home with him than ever.
“Turner—Turner, this is trifling, inexcusable! but that you are a
favorite servant of my poor brother’s, I would not endure it an
instant.”
“I am a man! At least I was, till this poor, poor—there I am at it
again—till she made me cry like a baby for the first time in my life;
but I will obey you—I will carry her off, not that her disease is
contagious—souls are not catching, at any rate, in this neighborhood.”
The old man muttered over these last words to himself; then lifting his
voice said in a more respectful tone, “Madam, your orders—where am I to
place the child?”
“Anywhere. It is not of the least consequence—take it down to the
village. I fancy some of the tenants would like it of all things. I have
no right to receive incumbrances in Lord Clare’s house during his
absence.”
“Lord Clare never sent a starving fellow-creature from his door yet,”
answered Turner, stoutly. “It is not in him.”
“Starving?—what horrible words! Why, no one starves on this estate.”
Turner did not listen. He was looking down into my face, his countenance
stirring as one who ponders over a painful subject. I lay feebly in his
arms, contented as a lamb, my little heart beating tenderly against his
bosom. At last he carried me out into the open air.