suppose that around the corner from the cold storage warehouse is a
livery in which fifty horses are stabled. The flames frighten the horses
and they break loose and stampede in the streets. The story now has
three features of striking interest. It would be possible to combine
them all in the lead and to begin in this way:
| Four firemen were overcome by ammonia |
|fumes, a panic was narrowly averted in |
|the St. Charles Hospital, and fifty |
|frightened horses stampeded in the |
|streets as a result of a fire, etc. |
But see how far from the beginning the fire, the actual cause of it all,
is placed. The fire is buried behind a mass of details and the reader is
confused. The lead is not a happy one. The only thing to do is to break
up the mass of details and put part of them immediately after the lead.
The arrangement is a matter that must be left to the judgment of the
reporter.
This, however, is an extreme case because the various features are so
disconnected and separate. The reporter would have little trouble if the
several features were more alike. For instance, if one of the walls of
the building had fallen and killed three firemen the case would have
been simpler. The death of these men so far overshadows the other
unusual incidents that it drives them out of the lead altogether. For we
do not care about horses and frightened patients when men are crushed
beneath falling walls. All that we are concerned with in our lead now is
the dead and injured--with a feature like this we can trust our readers
to go into the story far enough to pick up the other interesting
features; we would begin in this way:
| Three firemen were killed by falling |
|walls and four others were overcome by |
|ammonia fumes in a fire which destroyed |
|the cold storage, etc. |
The combination of dead and injured makes a good beginning, and it is
always advisable to begin with such an enumeration whenever it is
possible. Where the features are not so significant as death and
injuries the matter of arranging more than one striking detail at the
beginning of the lead becomes a greater problem. It must be left to
one's own judgment and common sense. The lead must not be too long or
complicated, and one must hesitate before burying the really important
facts of the story behind several lines of more or less unusual details.
Just as soon as the lead becomes at all confusing take out the details
and put them into the story later.
VII
FAULTS IN NEWS STORIES
Before we go on to the consideration of other kinds of news stories it
will be well to consider in greater detail the facts we have learned
from writing up fires. Our fire stories should have taught us a number
of things about the form of the news story. Let us sum them up.
=Paragraph Length.=--We have seen that newspaper writing has a
characteristic style of its own. In the first place notice the length of
a newspaper paragraph. Count the number of words in an average paragraph
and compare it with the number of words in a literary paragraph. We find
that the newspaper paragraph is much shorter. There is a reason for
this. Imagine a 150-word literary paragraph set up in a newspaper. There
are about seven words to the line in a newspaper column and one hundred
and fifty words would make something over twenty lines. Try to picture a
newspaper made up of twenty-line paragraphs; it would be extremely
difficult to read. We glance over a newspaper hastily and our haste
requires many breaks to help us in gathering the facts. Hence the
paragraphs must be short; the very narrowness of the newspaper column
causes them to be shortened. The average lead, you will find, contains
less than fifty words and the paragraphs following it are not much
longer.
=Sentence Length.=--Notice sentence lengths as compared with literary
sentences. You will find that newspaper sentences usually fall into two
classes: the sentences in the lead and the sentences in the body of the
story. The first sentence is usually rather long--thirty to sixty words.
But the sentences in the body of the story are much shorter than most
literary sentences. Why is this? It results from exactly the same thing
that makes the newspaper paragraphs short--the need of many breaks.
Thus, after we finish a lead, we must fall into short sentences. They
need not be choppy sentences, but they must be simple and easy to read.
THE LEAD AND THE BODY OF THE STORY
Our study of the fire story has shown that newspaper stories always have
two separate and distinct parts: the lead and the body of the story. In
writing the story a reporter must consider each part separately,
although the reader does not distinguish between the two parts. Before
writing a word the reporter must decide exactly what facts and details
he is to put in the lead and exactly what fact he is going to play up in
the first line, taking care to begin with the most interesting part of
the story. After the lead is finished he writes the main body of the
story in accordance with the rules of ordinary English composition. Each
part must be separate and independent of the other.
=The Lead.=--The lead itself is always paragraphed separately. Usually
it consists of a single sentence, although it is much better to break it
into two than to make the sentence too long and complicated. As we have
said before, the lead must not only tell the most interesting fact or
incident in the story, but it must answer the natural questions that the
reader immediately asks about this matter; i.e., when, where, what, why,
who, and how. These questions must be answered briefly and concisely in
their order of importance, and the most unusual answer or the most
striking part of the story must precede all the rest. Beyond the answers
to these questions there is no space for details in the lead. Every word
must have a purpose and a necessary purpose or it must be cut out and
relegated to the body of the story. No space should be given to
explanations of minor importance. State the content of the news story
as completely, accurately, and concisely as possible so that the reader
may know just what happened, when it happened, where, to whom, and
perhaps how and why it happened. Then begin a new paragraph and start
the body of the story.
Many editors require that the lead consist of one long sentence and yet
it must be grammatical. Many reporters forget all about English grammar
in their attempt to crowd everything they know into one sentence. But
mere quantity does not make the lead good; it must be grammatical and
easy to read. The verb must have a grammatical subject and, if it is an
_active_ verb, it must have a grammatical predicate. Clauses and
modifiers must be attached in a way that cannot be overlooked. Dangling
participles and absolute constructions should be shunned. All of the
modifying clauses must be gathered together either before or after the
principal clause. Everything must be compact and logical. Many papers
disregard this matter, as will be seen in some of the extracts quoted in
this book, but the best papers do not.
Every lead should be so constructed that it may stand alone and be
self-sufficient. Never should a reporter trust to headlines to enlighten
his readers upon the meaning of the lead--the exact reverse of this
must be true. The story is written first and the headlines are written
from the facts contained in the lead--and usually by another man. In
writing the lead disregard the existence of headlines, for many readers
do not read them at all. This is but an amplification of the old rule of
composition that any piece of writing should be independent of its
title. The title may be lost, but the essay must be clear without it.
There are many ways of beginning a lead in order to embody the feature
in the first line. At first glance the operation of putting the emphasis
of a sentence at the beginning, rather than at the end, may seem
difficult, but with a clear idea of the rules of dependence in English
grammar a reporter may transpose any clause to the beginning and thus
play up the content of the clause. For instance, in this lead,
| Fire, starting in a moving picture |
|theatre, 4418 Third avenue, drove the |
|tenants of the building out into the icy |
|street while the snowstorm was at its |
|height shortly before 12 o'clock last |
|night. |
the striking feature of the story is buried--we do not get the unusual
picture of a little group of people shivering in the street during a
blinding snowstorm while they watch their homes burn. A simple
transposition of the _while_-clause puts the feature in the first line.
Thus:
| While the snowstorm was at its height |
|shortly before 12 o'clock last night, |
|fire, starting in a moving picture |
|theatre, 4418 Third avenue, drove the |
|tenants of the building out into the icy |
|street. |
The lead is not perfect now; it might be greatly improved, but it is
better than before.
A few of the possible beginnings for a lead are:
1. _Noun._--The simplest beginning of a lead is of course the use of a
noun as subject of the principal verb. For example, "Fire destroyed the
residence of----" or "A flashlight setting fire to a lace curtain
started a fire----" or "The Plaza Hotel had a few uncomfortable moments
last night----" etc. The subject of the verb may of course have its
modifiers--adjectives and phrases--but it should not be separated too
widely from its verb. One point is to be noted in the use of a simple
noun at the beginning; an article should not precede the noun if it can
be avoided, for the very simple reason that an article is not worth the
important space that it takes at the beginning of the lead. In the case
of fire no article is necessary. In other cases it is usually possible
to put in an adjective or some other word that will take the article's
place. However, never begin a story like this: "Supreme Court of the
United States decided----" or "Young man in evening dress was arrested
last night----" or "House of John Smith was destroyed yesterday----".
Obviously something is lacking and, if no other word will supply the
lack, use the article, _the_ or _a_. When the _noun_-beginning is used
the reporter must never forget that two or more nouns, however
different, if subject of the same verb, require a plural verb. The verb
may be active or passive, whichever is more convenient, but rarely is
the object of an active verb put first--simply because English cannot
bear this transposition of subject and predicate.
2. _Infinitive._--Other parts of speech aside from nouns may be subjects
of verbs and so other parts of speech as subjects of the principal verb
of the lead may be placed at the beginning of the lead. An infinitive
with its object and modifier may occupy the first line as subject of the
main verb; e.g.:
| To rescue his own son during the |
|burning of his own house was a part of |
|yesterday's work for Fireman Michael |
|Casey, who, etc. |
Here the infinitive "to rescue" and its object are the subject of the
verb "was," and the construction is perfectly grammatical.
Unfortunately the English language has another infinitive which very
much resembles a present participle--the infinitive ending in _-ing_;
e.g., _rescuing_. Without an article this part of speech must, of
course, be used only as an adjective, but with an article it becomes an
infinitive, to be treated as a noun; e.g., _the rescuing of_. It would
be perfectly grammatical to begin the above lead in this way: "The
rescuing of his own son ... was the work, etc." But it would be
ungrammatical to begin it thus: "Rescuing his own son was the work,
etc." For in the second case the word "rescuing," if used with an
object, is not an infinitive but a participle, and must be used only as
an adjective, thus: "Rescuing his own son, Fireman Casey performed his
duty, etc.," or "In rescuing his own son, Fireman Casey performed his
duty." The two uses should never be confused.
3. _Clause._--Another expression that may be used as subject of the
lead's principal verb is a clause--usually a _that_-clause. For
instance, "That the entire wholesale district was not destroyed by fire
last night is due to, etc." Here the _that_-clause is subject of the
verb is and the expression is entirely grammatical as well as very
useful as a beginning.
4. _Prepositional Phrase._--When the feature of a story is an action
rather than a thing, a noun can hardly be used to express it. Very
often this lead may be handled by means of a prepositional phrase at the
beginning. For example, one of the stories in the last chapter begins:
"With her home on fire and with smoke swirling around her head, Mrs.
John, etc." In this case the prepositional phrase modifies the subject
and should not be far from it. Another variation of this is the
prepositional phrase of time, modifying the verb; e.g., "During the
wedding of Miss Mary Jones, last night, the house suddenly caught fire,
etc." This beginning is effective if it is not overworked, but the
reader should never be held back from the real facts of the story by a
string of complicated phrases, intended to build up suspense.
5. _Participial Phrase._--Very much like the prepositional phrase
beginning is the participial beginning. "Sliding down an eighty-foot
extension ladder with a woman in his arms, Fireman John Casey rescued,
etc." It must be borne in mind that the participial phrase must modify a
noun and there should be no doubt in the reader's mind as to the noun
that it modifies. It would of course be absurd to say "Sliding down an
eighty-foot extension ladder, fire seriously burned John Casey----," but
such things are often said. Never should this participial phrase be used
as the subject of a verb, as "Returning home and finding her house in
ashes was the unusual experience of Mrs. James, etc." The phrase must
always modify a noun just like an adjective.
6. _Temporal Clause._--A feature may often be brought to the beginning
of the lead by a simple transposition of clauses. Should the time be
important a subordinate _when_ or _while_ clause may precede the
principal clause of the sentence; i.e., "When the snowstorm was at its
height early this morning, a three-story brick building burned, etc.,"
or "While 15,000 people watched from the street below, 250 girls escaped
from the burning building at, etc."
7. _Causal Clause._--Should the cause of an action or an occurrence be
attractive enough for the first line, a _for_ or a _because_ clause may
begin the lead. "Because a tinsmith upset a pot of molten solder on the
roof of pier No. 19, two steamers were burned, etc."
* * * * *
This does not exhaust the list of possible beginnings. There are a dozen
possible constructions for the beginning of any story; these are merely
the commonest ones. Anything unusual or of doubtful grammar should be
avoided because of the many possible alternatives that present
themselves. And in every lead correct grammar should be considered
above all else. If a lead is ungrammatical no clever arrangement of
details can make it effective or other than ludicrous. For instance,
this lead, taken from a newspaper, illustrates an unfortunate attempt to
crowd too many details into a short lead:
| Bitten by a rattlesnake, Myrtle Olson's|
|leg was slashed with a table knife, |
|washed the wound with kerosene, then |
|covered the incision with salt by her |
|mother. Myrtle still lives. |
Another paper tried to arrange it more happily, thus:
| Bitten by a rattlesnake, Myrtle Olson's|
|mother slashed her daughter's leg with a |
|table knife, washed the wound with |
|kerosene, then covered the incision with |
|salt. Myrtle still lives. |
There is evidently something wrong in this. It would be a good exercise
to try to express the idea grammatically.
* * * * *
Before we go on to the consideration of the body of this story a few
_Don'ts_ in regard to writing leads may be in order.
Don't begin a lead with a person's name unless the person is well known.
We are always interested in anything unusual that a man may do or
anything unusual that he may suffer, but unless we know the man we are
not at all interested in his name. Suppose that a man performs some
thrilling act or suffers some unusual misfortune in a city of 100,000
people. Probably not more than one hundred people know him, and of that
number only one or two will read the story. Then why begin with his name
when his action is of greater interest to all but a few of our readers?
And yet every reader wants to know whether the victim is one of his
friends. Therefore the man's name must be mentioned in the lead,
although it should not come at the beginning. On the other hand, if the
man is prominent in the nation or the community and well known to all
our readers, his name adds interest to the story and we begin with the
name. There is a growing tendency among American newspapers to begin all
of their stories with a name. The tendency appears to be the result of
an attempt to break away from the conventional lead and to begin in a
more natural way--also an easier way. But the name beginning is after
all illogical, and any reporter is safe in following the logical course
in the matter. If the name is not important begin with something that is
important.
Don't waste the main verb of the sentence on a minor action while
expressing the principal action in a subordinate clause. This is a
violation of emphasis. For example, "Fatally burned by an explosion in
his laundry, Hing Lee was taken to the hospital." Naturally he would be
taken to the hospital, but why put the emphasis of the whole sentence on
that point?
Don't resort to the expression "was the unusual experience of----" "was
the fate of----" or any like them. Every word in the lead must count,
and here are five words that say nothing at all. Use their place to tell
what the unusual experience was. For instance, don't say "To stand in a
driving snowstorm and watch their homes burn to the ground was the
unusual experience of two families, living at, etc."; say instead,
"Standing in a driving snowstorm two families watched their homes burn
to the ground." The latter says the same thing more effectively in less
space. The use of this expression--"was the unusual experience of"--is
always the mark of a green reporter.
Don't overwork the expression "Fire broke out." All fires "break out,"
but usually we are more interested in the result of the fire than in its
"breaking out." Try to use some expression that will give more definite
information.
Don't be wordy. Editors are always calling for shorter and more concise
leads. If you can say a thing in two words don't use half a dozen. For
example, "Four members of the local fire department were rendered
unconscious by the deadly fumes from bursting ammonia pipes." This takes
three times as much space as "Four firemen were overcome by ammonia
fumes," and it does not express the idea any more effectively.
Don't introduce minor details into the lead. If the reader wants the
details he may read the rest of the story. Take the following lead as an
example:
| Rushing back into his burning laundry, |
|a one-story brick building, to rescue |
|from the flames his savings, amounting to|
|$437, with which he hoped to raise |
|himself from the rank of laborer to that |
|of a prosperous merchant, and which was |
|hidden under the mattress of his bed in |
|the back room of the laundry, Hing Lee, a|
|Chinaman, who lives at 79 Nicollett |
|avenue and has been in this country but |
|three months, was overcome by smoke and |
|so seriously burned that he had to be |
|removed to the St. Mary Hospital and may |
|not live, when his establishment was |
|destroyed by a fire which, starting from |
|the explosion of the tank of the gasolene|
|stove on which he was cooking his dinner,|
|gutted his laundry, entailing a loss of |
|$1,000, shortly before noon to-day. |
It is entirely grammatical, but if the reader succeeds in wading through
it there is nothing left to tell about the fire. Why not begin the
story in this way and leave something for the rest of the story?
| Because he rushed back into his burning|
|laundry to rescue his savings, Hing Lee, |
|a Chinese laundryman, 79 Nicollett |
|avenue, was seriously burned to-day. |
Don't waste the first line of the lead on meaningless generalities. Get
down to the facts at once. For instance, "The presence of mind and
bravery of Fireman David Mullen saved Mrs. Daniel Looker from being
burned to death in her flat, etc." We are willing to grant his bravery
and presence of mind, but we want to know at once what he did: "By
sliding down an eighty-foot extension ladder through flames and smoke
with an unconscious woman in his arms, Fireman David Mullen rescued Mrs.
Daniel, etc." Equally useless is the beginning, "A daring rescue of an
unconscious woman from the fourth story of a blazing flat building was
made by Fireman David Mullen to-day, etc." Tell what the daring rescue
was and let the reader manufacture a fitting eulogy.
Don't exaggerate the facts to make a feature. When a few persons are
frightened don't turn it into a dreadful panic. Every little fire is not
a holocaust and the burning of a small barn does not endanger the
entire city, unless your imagination is strong enough to guess what
might have happened had there been a high wind and no fire engines. A
narrow escape from death does not always excuse the beginning, "Scores
killed and injured would have been the result, _if_----" All beginnings
of this kind give a false impression and do not tell the truth. If a
story has no striking feature be satisfied to tell the truth about it
without trying to make a world-wide disaster out of it for the sake of a
place on the front page. Exaggeration for a feature is one of the bad
elements of sensational journalism. For example, seven lives were lost
in this fire, but this is the way the story was written, for the sake of
a three-column scare-head:
| That 500 sleeping babes and 100 more |
|who were kneeling in prayer in St. |
|Malachi's Home, a Roman Catholic |
|institution for the care of orphans at |
|Rockaway Park, are alive to-day is due to|
|the coolness of the nuns in charge and |
|the children's remembrance of their |
|teacher's fire drills. |
The suspense is built up in such a way that at the end of the lead we do
not know what happened and read on with breathless interest to find that
there was a small fire at the Home and seven children were burned.
=The Body of the Story.=--"A good beginning is half done," according to
the proverb. In writing a news story a good beginning is more than half
done--two-thirds at least. The lead is the beginning, and when that has
been written we are ready to go on to the body of the story with a clear
conscience.
Our lead has told the reader the main facts of the case and the most
unusual feature. If he reads further he is looking for details. In
giving him these we return to the ordinary rules of narration. We start
at the very beginning of the story and tell it logically and in detail
to the end. We tell it as if no lead preceded it and repeat in greater
detail the incidents briefly outlined in the lead. Never should the body
of the story depend upon the lead for clearness. If the feature of the
story is a rescue and you have briefly described the rescue in the lead,
ignore the lead and describe the rescue all over again in the body of
the story in its proper place. The number of details that are to be
introduced into the story is limited only by the space that the story
seems to be worth. But no point should be mentioned in the story unless
space permits of its being made clear.