I was working in the garden, tidying up after the weekly visit of the
jobbing gardener, when Bolsover put his head over the hedge. "Heard
about the Pottingers' governess?" he asked excitedly.
"The Pottingers' governess?" I repeated. "No; what about her? Has she
given them notice?"
"Well, she's not exactly the Pottingers' governess," he replied, "but
governess to some intimate friends of theirs named Ings living at
Ponders End. Anyhow, I can absolutely vouch for the truth of the story."
"Get on," I said. "Don't keep me on tenterhooks. What's she done?"
"Why, the police have discovered that she's a German spy," said Bolsover
mysteriously.
"'Angels and ministers of grace de ---- '"
"Yes," he went on, "she had been with them three years, teaching the
children '_Ich bin geworden sein_,' and '_Hast du die Tochter des Löwen
gesehen_,' and all that. It appears that the police called at the house
one night recently and insisted on searching her room and her trunks.
Mr. Ings protested; said they'd made a mistake, pledged his word on her
honour and integrity, but all with no avail. They searched and
found--what _do_ you think?"
"I'll buy it," I said; "Uncle Jasper's coming to lunch with me. What did
they find?"
"It's no catch," protested Bolsover, "but the solid truth. They found in
one of her trunks a German service-rifle and a quantity of ammunition."
"Never!" I exclaimed.
"Only once," retorted Bolsover. "She's now in a Concentration Camp near
Hendon."
I thought no more about the matter until midway through lunch. We were
waiting for the _soufflé_ when--
"Have you heard that story about a German?" Uncle Jasper and I began
simultaneously.
"After you, Uncle," I said dutifully. "What were you going to say?"
"I was about to ask you if you had heard the story of the Polworths'
governess," he said.
"No," I answered. "Tell me. You refer to the Polworths of Croydon?"
"Exactly. Well, they--or rather some friends of theirs named Culverton,
living at Purley--had a German governess who had been in the family for
some years. A night or two ago the police----"
But I needn't repeat it. In all essentials it was Bolsover's story over
again, the only differences being that they found three bombs and that
the governess was incarcerated at Horsham.
In the afternoon I accompanied Uncle Jasper to the railway station. On
my way home I met the Vicar, and we fell to discussing the war.
Eventually the conversation got to espionage.
"That reminds me," said the Vicar, "of a very strange case in the
household of one of my parishioners--or it would be more correct to say
that what I am going to tell you occurred in the house of a friend of
his at Canterbury. However, the _bona fides_ of the facts is absolutely
unimpeachable. It appears that----"
And here followed another version of the governess episode, identical in
all respects with those of Bolsover and Uncle Jasper, save only that the
police found a loaded revolver and a plan of Chatham Dockyard, and that
the woman had been deported.
That same evening I dined at old Colonel Jevers', and when the ladies
had withdrawn to the drawing-room our host began--
"Talking about the war reminds me of a most extraordinary spy story I
heard to-day about a German governess."
All the men exchanged glances and smiled. The Colonel continued--"I can
say at once that what I am going to tell you is authentic, for the
events actually happened to the man who told me--I daresay some of you
know Bickerton?--or rather to an old friend of his, which, under the
circumstances, is practically the same thing. Well, this friend of
Bickerton's, whose name was--"
"Ings, Mullens, Doddridge, Finlayson," we all, except young Pitts,
murmured _sotto voce_.
"... Potherby, lived at--"
"Ponders End, Woking, Cleckheaton, Norwich," we added in a similar
manner.
"... Maidstone, and for some time had had in his employ a German
governess."
And so the tale went on until the Colonel got to the searching of the
trunk. "... and in it was found...."
"A service-rifle, three bombs, a loaded revolver, plans of
fortifications," we supplied as before.
"... incriminating letters showing clearly that for years the woman had
been in communication with the German Secret Service Bureau," concluded
our host.
Young Pitts left with me and walked to my house.
"I didn't hear any asides from you while the Colonel was repeating that
hoary old yarn," I said as we reached the gate. "Hadn't you heard it
before?"
"I heard it in the train this morning," Pitts answered.
"You don't believe it, surely?"
"Of course not. Amongst other reasons, because the man in whose house
the events were supposed to have taken place happens, I know, to be a
bachelor, and would not therefore require the services of a German
governess."
"Who was the person referred to in the version you heard?" I asked.
"You," he replied.
* * * * *
Illustration: _London Scot (proud of his English)._ "AW'LL BE HAME
ABOOT EICHT O'CLOCK THE NICHT, AN'----"
_Voice of Operator (obedient to Government instructions)._ "NO FOREIGN
LANGUAGES, PLEASE."
[_Cut off._]
* * * * *
Footwork.
"In a comparatively short time now, summer gardens will have to be
overhauled, the bedding-out plants taken up, cuttings taken, and the
ground prepared for next spring's display; all of which will be
labour usually regarded as _manual_, but which is well within the
capabilities of a strong intelligent woman."--_Country Life._
Who would of course regard such labour as womanual.
* * * * *
"Forming a hollow square in front of Webbe Tent, Lord Grenfell
addressed the corps, and complimented them on the work they had done
and their smart appearance."
_The Contingent._
After which the C.O., on behalf of the corps, complimented Lord GRENFELL
on forming a hollow square.
* * * * *
Illustration: SEASIDE MINSTREL, SUSPECTED OF BEING AN ALIEN, IS MADE TO
REMOVE THE BLACK FROM HIS FACE FOR PURPOSES OF IDENTIFICATION.
* * * * *