But Suzi looked at me soulfully and said, "Your guard of honor, Jak.
There's been some talk that the Centaurians might try to get at you
before the meet."
To quote one of Suzi's favorite primitive exclamations, _Oh, Brother_.
"Look," I said. "I can't talk to you in front of all this. I feel like
a parade. Let's go into a theatre, take a box and have this out."
Suzi wasn't disagreeing with anything today.
* * * * *
We entered the theatre and made our way as quietly as possible toward a
sound-proof box where we could be alone.
Suddenly, the three dimensional figures on the stage faded, the
lights went on and the autorch started blaring that confounded tune
again. Everyone in the theatre turned, spotted us and arose and began
whistling and clapping.
I winced, but Suzi seemed to be in her glory. I hurried her along and
we entered the enclosed box where at least we couldn't hear them after
I'd turned off the sound device.
Finally, the lights went out again. Instead of resuming the play,
however, we had a flash of the face of the President of Terra. He spoke
very seriously, very earnestly--and I had to sit through it after Suzi
had switched on the sound again. He pointed out at some length that we
all must maintain faith and calm and hold in our hearts the image of
the champion of the Solar System, our own Terran Gladiator, Jak Dempsi.
The President's face faded and was replaced with a still of mine.
The audience rose to a man, faced our box and applauded like crazy. I
had a sneaking suspicion that the show wasn't going to go on as long as
Suzi and I were there.
I said, "Let's get out of here before that autorch--" but I was too
late. It started blaring _The Solar System Forever_ before we reached
the door. Everybody was singing too, which made it worse. I hadn't
known before that it had words.
Otherwise, it was a successful evening. Particularly after I convinced
the Solar System League officers that there was no need for around a
dozen of them to be stationed in my apartment. I told them that they
could patrol the corridors, my roof, and the street outside to their
hearts' content, but my apartment was out. The officer in charge took
another look at Suzi and evidently decided I was probably right--there
are things more important than personal safety.
The rest of the evening was spent by Suzi proving that she still loved
me. She offered some excellent evidence. Anyway, it satisfied me....
* * * * *
I was awakened again the next morning by Mari Nown who, as he had the
morning before, was waving a sheet of newspaper before my eyes. This
could grow into a very unpleasant habit.
But at least he wasn't hopping this time. In fact, he seemed quite
pleased with himself.
I turned over on my other side and growled, "Go away, I was having a
beautiful dream about Suzi."
He whistled happily, "I've done it for you, Jak. Everything'll be fine
now."
"That's good," I began sleepily, but then I sat upright in bed, with
quick suspicion. "You've done what?" I grabbed the newspaper from his
hand. It read, _Champ's Manager reveals he has Venusian Elephantiasis_.
I stared at it and then at him. "What in _kert_ is Venusian
Elephantiasis, and where'd you get the idea I have it?"
He shrilled proudly, "I had to do a lot of research. It's one of the
few diseases left in the system that's incurable. So rare, for one
thing."