[Illustration: A New Subscriber to _The Morning Post_.]
_House of Commons, Monday, July 14._--Government again narrowly
escaped defeat. Last time it was Ascot; this time Marlborough House
Garden Party. "This Session," says T. HARRINGTON, "I've taken to
subscribing to _The Morning Post_; study its fashionable news; look
out for arrangements likely to draw men away from House; then me and
SAGE put our heads together; arrange for Division; take it smart, and
Government left in lurch."
To-day opportunity found in Motion for Select Committee on
constitution of Scotch Committee. AKERS-DOUGLAS proposed twenty-one
members, all Scotch but one. "Let us have the lot Scotch," says
ROBERTSON; moves Amendment accordingly. House pretty full, knowing
crisis at hand; Government Whips scouting for Members.
"Tell you what I'll do," says PENROSE FITZGERALD to AKERS-DOUGLAS;
"I hate garden-parties and that sort of thing, but as we shall be in
a hole if Division now rushed, I'll take cab, run up to Marlborough
House, fetch down some men; inconvenient, you know; works against
grain; would rather be down here helping you than mingling in
glittering throng; but, as the Governor says, duty is our loadstar;
say the word, and I'll go off to Pall Mall and fetch a lot down."
"FITZGERALD," said AKERS-DOUGLAS, wringing his hand, "you're a brick.
You always think of the right thing, and are ready to do it."
DOUGLAS paused to wipe away tear drawn from his sensitive glands by
this evidence of self-sacrifice. When he'd done it, looking again
at FITZGERALD'S briskly-retreating figure, couldn't help noting
how smartly he was got up; summer pants; white waistcoat; the short
"reefer," familiar in the Lobby, cast aside for the courtly frock
coat; observed him as he strode forth, producing pair of lavender
kid gloves.
"Odd," said DOUGLAS, reflectively. "FITZGERALD never expected to go
to Garden Party; down here to help me; sudden emergency, and spirit
of self-devotion, suggested to him to run over, and see what could
be done; happy chance to find him, by exception, in the right rig.
It would never have done for him to rush over to Marlborough House to
meet the QUEEN in his 'reefer.' Curious, when I come to think of it.
Hope there's not more in it than meets the eye."
_But there was._
Debate on ROBERTSON'S Amendment abruptly closed; Division rushed;
position of Government critical; AKERS-DOUGLAS anxiously on look-out
for FITZGERALD and the Marlborough House relief party; but they came
not, and on Division Government saved by skin of teeth and eight
votes. An hour later, PENROSE FITZGERALD returned to Lobby with
guilty look; carefully avoided AKERS-DOUGLAS; that able captain too
broken-hearted at the perfidy to be angry; "NOAH'S dove didn't treat
him so," he said to himself; but all he said to FITZGERALD was,
"Pleasant Party at Marlborough House, I suppose?" "Yee-es," said
FITZGERALD; "rather; couldn't get back quite as soon as I expected."
_Business done._--Irish Votes in Supply.
[Illustration: Haste to the Wedding.]
_Tuesday._--Regular set-to of Irish Members on Prince ARTHUR. MADDEN
gallantly threw himself across body of his chief, but got such fearful
pummelling retired into silence for rest of sitting. What made it
worse for ARTHUR was Chairman's ruling; pulled him up more than
once amid loud cheers from Opposition. TIM HEALY on war-path; quotes
TENNYSON with odd variation; represents Prince ARTHUR as saying of
Irish Members, "You have not got the pose that marks the cast of VERE
DE VERE." Proceedings occasionally lively; grow a little monotonous
after first five hours. Met STUART hurrying off, humming to himself
the air, "_Haste to the Wedding_."
"Aren't you going to stay for division?" I asked.
"No," said he. "I mustered; strikes only on the box; when you ask
for it, see that you get it; none other genuine. Have an important
engagement to-morrow morning. If you're waking COLMAN early, COLMAN
early, TOBY dear."
Stared at this incoherent speech; thought at first he was mad or had
dined. Then I remembered that to-morrow, at Norfolk, he marries Miss
COLMAN.
_Business done._--More Irish Votes.
_Thursday._--_E pur si muove_; that is to say, it _will_ move; they'll
all move, in spite of BRAMWELL. London, probably, the only population
in the world that possesses the supernatural patience necessary to
submit to having its movements obstructed by bars and gates put
up across some of its principal thoroughfares. Oddly enough, they
congregate round congeries of Railway Stations in the North. To-day,
ROSEBERY in Lords moves Second Reading of Bill designed to have them
swept away. BRAMWELL protests. "Speaking," he said, "in name of over
two hundred people who live in district affected by the Bill, I ask
your Lordships to reject it." This too much even for House of Lords.
That alleged luxury of two hundred people should weigh against
convenience of the population of London was a little monstrous.
BRAMWELL kept his countenance admirably. LORD CHANCELLOR looked on
admiringly.
"That's the man for _me_, TOBY," he said. "If we could only have
a House of Lords all BRAMWELLS, with me on Woolsack, we'd make Old
England once more a merry spot."
Rest of House, however, would not enter into joke. MARKISS admitted
that, being a constant passenger by Great Northern Railway, he
generally "said a dam" when passing these gates. This felt to be a
shocking state of things. Gates and bars must be bundled off, if only
to prevent use of bad language by PRIME MINISTER. BRAMWELL reluctantly
admitted this, still pleading with touching eloquence for preservation
of the obstruction.
"My Lords," he said, "think of what you're doing to this great
capital, of which we are all so justly proud. The Tower has become a
disused place, and its historic hill no more reverberates to the merry
chopping of the headsman's axe. Temple Bar has gone, and long ago have
vanished the heads that used to look wistfully down on the passing
chairmen. The chairmen themselves have sped into eternity, and in
their place circles the Hansom cab. No more does the lovely, lonely
oil lamp swing at the corners of our streets. Your Lordships can
wend your way homeward as far West as Kensington, or as far North as
Highbury, without meeting the casual footpad. The town is drained; the
river is embanked; our streets are paved; and we have a penny post.
Almost all that is left to us of the good old times are these bars,
arbitrarily set up across our thoroughfare, watched by a gentleman in
a seedy suit, and a rain-beaten hat girt with tarnished golden lace.
I beseech your Lordships, by your memories of infancy, by your love of
our old Constitution, by the faith of your Order, by your fidelity
to your Sovereign, to spare these last lingering relics of the London
that helped to make our Empire great."
[Illustration: "As if in Church."]
House plainly touched at this outburst of eloquence. Lord BANGOR
closed his eyes, and clasped his hands, as if in Church. If there
can be any arrangement made in Committee by which the gates and bars,
after removal, may be placed in convenient order round BRAMWELL'S
residence, so that he shall be forced to make _détours_ as he goes
about his daily business, it shall be done. With this understanding,
Amendment withdrawn, and Bill read Second Time.
_Business done._--In Commons, more about Irish Votes.
_Friday._--Vote for Irish Prisons Board on in Committee of Supply.
Interesting conversation between Prince ARTHUR and recent inmates
of the prisons. O'BRIEN protests that the treatment was abominable.
Prince ARTHUR cites O'B.'s personal appearance in proof that things
are not so bad as they are painted. "Four times you've been in
prison," he urged, "and see how well you look." DILLON takes objection
to the prison garb; discloses strong yearning to see Prince ARTHUR
arrayed in it. ARTHUR quite content with his present tailor.
SHAW-LEFEVRE joins in conversation; ARTHUR looks at him longingly.
"They say we shan't be in office another year, TOBY," he observed, as
SHAW-LEFEVRE proceeded at some length; "but I should like to be CHIEF
SECRETARY long enough to get a chance of running SHAW-LEFEVRE in. He's
very slippery; knows how near he may go without incurring actual risk;
but I'll have him some day." _Business done_.--Irish Votes happily
concluded.
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