(_BY A POPTIMIST._)
Hair that is golden grows olden,
Hopes that are golden decay;
Suns that are bright, and embolden
The tourist to go on his way,
Leaving his gingham tight folden,
Turn to a drizzling grey.
But gold of the Mint is all-golden,
Safe in the strictest assay.
Cynics may rail against money,
Spurn its beneficent power;
Bears spurn impossible honey,
Foxes the grapes that are sour.
Men, who can never be funny,
Scoff at the funny man's dower;
Lands where it seldom is sunny
Find little praise for a flower.
When a man's safe at his bankers,
What does it mean, let us think--
Freedom from care and its cankers,
Plenty of victuals and drink?
Nay, but it opens the garden
Of tender illusion and joy,
Where faults find immediate pardon,
And worrying ways don't annoy.
In the light of futurity's favours
Fair gratitude burgeons amain,
And the flittermouse Love never wavers
In truth to the Psyche of gain.
Bountiful Money! 'Twill make you
Worthy in manners and birth;
Beauty for better will take you
(Little as that may be worth),
Hosts by the hand kindly shake you,
Crowds, when you wish to be funny,
Mind doing homage to Money,
Laugh with inordinate mirth.
Sages and moralists blame thee,
Stoics stand gloomy above thee,
Preachers with obloquy name thee,
Hermits and anchorites shame thee,
But symbol of all that is sunny,
Coy, courteous, flattering Money,
I love thee, I love thee, I love thee!
* * * * *
"BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!"
(_AN OPEN LETTER TO SOMEBODY._)
DEAR NOBLE CORRESPONDENT TO THE _TIMES_,--We see that you are doing
your best to defend the proposed destruction of the Lincoln's Inn
Gateway in Chancery Lane. In the course of your exertions, you have
been not too civil to several worthy persons, and inaccurate in your
description of the Society of Antiquaries. Now, do take our advice.
We know you were a clever "Silk" when you practised at the Bar, and
we have heard that your forefathers (for a generation or so) were
excellent hands at Banking; but, in the name of Lombard Street, do
let Archæology alone!
With the best of wishes,
Yours sincerely,
(_Signed_) EVERYBODY.
* * * * *
CHANCE FOR BUYERS.--Last week, among the Tuesday's arrangements in the
_Daily Telegraph_, was announced:--"Bath Horse Show." Did this include
"Bath Towel-Horse Show?" Fine chance for sporting Mr. BLUNDEL MAPLE.
M.P., as a Towel-Horse dealer. "Great Towel-Horse Show in Tottenham
Court Road!" The sale of yearlings and the pedigrees would be
interesting.
* * * * *
[Illustration: LATEST INTELLIGENCE.
"BY THE WAY, WHERE _IS_ THAT PLACE, HELIGOLAND, THEY'RE ALL TALKING SO
MUCH ABOUT?"
"OH--DON'T YOU KNOW, DEAR? IT'S ONE OF THE PLACES LATELY DISCOVERED BY
MR. STANLEY!"]
* * * * *