CHAPTER IV

THE USE OF THE GLOBE

What is the Earth for? Nobody knows. Some say the Earth was made to

supply the wants of Man, but as Man is part and parcel of the Earth

herself, dust of her dust, mould of her mould, it does not answer the

question.

[Illustration: THE FRIENDLY COW.

From an instantaneous photograph of animal cracker.

Owing to the high price of living the cow was partially eaten by the

author before the photograph could be taken.]

To be sure the Earth produces the Tobacco Plant, and many other things

that we classify among the needs of Man, including the "Friendly Cow"--

_She walks among the flowers sweet_

_And chews and chews and chews,_

_And turns them into friendly meat,_

_And pleasant boots and shoes._

But the "Friendly Cow" may in her secret heart regard the classification

as anything but friendly. For all we know, in the hidden scheme of

Creation, the Cow may herself be the subject for ultimate evolution into

the Perfect Being, and Man (to reverse Darwin), descending through the

Ape to ever lower planes, only a discarded experiment.

And the Tobacco Plant? In the course of time there may be no Tobacco

Plant.

Should the American People be again tempted to wage a World War for

Freedom, they may find on their return that the Tobacco Plants have gone

to join the Grape Vines of California!

Our only hope will then be that smoking is permitted in Hea----*

* The Author _is_ digressing.

_The Reader._

_QUESTIONS_

_What is "Friendship"?_

_Why is the Cow "friendly"?_

_Is the Oyster friendly?_

_When Prohibition is applied to tobacco will cigars containing less than

one-half of one per cent tobacco be permitted?_

This Giddy Globe · 第 4 / 17 章