Life, like a horse that has stood idle too long, began to caper
strangely, refusing to surrender to the will of those who wanted to
control it--who wanted to control it just as senselessly, just as
cruelly as before.
Every evening the people connected with the Department of Safety, who
were utterly at a loss, spoke more and more alarmingly of the increasing
signs of universal excitement, of the secret league of peasants, who had
resolved to take the land by force from the landowners, of the
gatherings of workingmen who began to censure the administration openly,
of the power of the revolutionists, which clearly was growing from day
to day. Filip Filippovich, without abating, continued to scratch the
agents of the Department of Safety with his sharp-edged, irritating
voice. He overwhelmed everybody with reproaches for inactivity. And
Yasnogursky, smacking his lips, made tragic appeals to the agents while
pressing his hands to his bosom.
"My children, exert yourselves. Remember that service in behalf of the
Czar is not wasted."
But when Krasavin inquired gloomily, "What are we to do?" he merely
waved his hand, and stood for a long time with his deep black mouth
gaping strangely, unable to find a reply.
"Catch them!" he finally shouted.
Yevsey, who listened to everything, heard the dapper Leontyev cough
drily, and say to Sasha:
"Apparently our old methods of war upon the rebels are no good in these
days of universal madness."
"Ye-e-e-es, you can't put out fire with spittle," hissed Sasha, a smile
distorting his face.
Everybody was vexed and complained and shouted. Sasha drew up his long
legs, and cried in mocking derision:
"Aha! The gentlemen revolutionists are getting the better of us, eh?"
He laughed, and his laugh irritated everybody. Yevsey felt that this man
was not afraid of anything, and he endeavored not to hear his talk.
The spies tossed about the streets day and night, and every evening
brought long reports of their observations. They spoke to one another
mournfully:
"Is this the way to work nowadays? Dear me!"
Apparently no one knew a means by which the elemental growth of the
popular revolt could be restrained.
"They will comb our curls," said Piotr, cracking his knuckles.
"They'll take us off the list if we remain alive," Solovyov chimed in
dismally.
"If they would give us a pension at least! But they won't."
"A noose around our necks, not a pension," said Melnikov sombrely.
The spies were all exhausted and confused; all trembled in fear of the
morrow. Both they and the officials seemed to have faded. The people who
but a short time ago had been terrible in Yevsey's eyes, who had
appeared to him to be the powerful and invincible masters of life, now
ran from one corner of the Department of Safety to another, and
fluttered about in the streets like last year's dried leaves.
He observed with amazement that there were other people, cheerful,
simple, and trusting, who were able to walk into the future, carelessly
stepping over every obstacle and snare in their way, everyone of whom
was good in his own fashion, and everyone of whom clearly hinted at the
possibility of something better than himself. Yevsey compared them with
the spies, who, unwillingly with clandestine tread, crept along the
streets and into houses, and secretly spirited away these people at
night, in order to seclude them in prisons. He clearly realized that the
spies did not understand the aim of their work, did not believe that it
was needful for life, and did not think or reason when, instinctively,
according to their habit, they went about half-sick, half-drunk, driven
by different fears.
He liked the tranquil talk of Olga, her greyish blue eyes, and that live
strong pity for people which sounded in the girl's every word. He liked
the noisy, jesting, somewhat boastful talker Yakov, the careless
Aleksey, good-naturedly ready to give away his last shirt and penny to
anyone who asked for them. He met an increasing number of people new to
him, in each of whom he perceived faith in the victory of his dream. And
Yevsey involuntarily, insensibly, yielded to this faith.
Observing the quick crumbling of that power which he had hitherto
submissively served, Yevsey began to seek a way by which it would be
possible for him to circumvent and escape the necessity of betrayal. He
reasoned thus:
"If I go to them, then it will be impossible for me not to deliver them
up. To hand them over to another agent is still worse. I must tell them.
Now that they are becoming more powerful, it will be better for me to be
with them."
So, yielding to the attraction exerted upon him by persons new to him,
he visited Yakov more frequently, and became more insistent in
endeavoring to meet Olga. After each visit he reported in a quiet voice
to Sasha every detail of his intercourse with them--what they said, what
they read, and what they wanted to do. He enjoyed telling of them, in
fact, repeated their talk with secret satisfaction.
"Oh, a funeral," snuffled Sasha, angrily and sarcastically fixing
Klimkov with his dim eyes. "You must push them on yourself, if they are
inattentive. You must get in a hint that you can furnish them with type,
fix up a printing office. Is it possible you can't do that?"
Yevsey was silent.
"I am asking you, idiot, can you do it? Well?"
"I can."
"Why don't you speak out? Suggest it to them to-morrow, do you hear?"
"Very well."
It was easy for Klimkov to fulfil Sasha's order. In reporting about his
cousin's circle, he had not ventured to tell Sasha that both Olga and
Yakov had already asked him twice, whether he could obtain type for
them. Each time he had managed to get away without answering.
The next evening he went to Olga, carrying in his breast the dark
feeling of emptiness he always experienced in moments of nervous
tension. The resolution to fulfil the task was put into him by a
stranger's will; he did not have to think about it himself. This
resolution spread within him, and crowded out all fear, all inconvenient
sympathy.
But when the tall figure of Olga stood before him in the small dimly
lighted room, and behind her he saw her large shadow on the wall, which
moved to meet him, Klimkov lost courage, grew confused, and stood in the
doorway without speaking.
"I've just returned from the factory," said Olga pressing his hand. "We
had another meeting today. What's the matter with you? Are you tired?
Are you sick? Come in, sit down. Let's have some tea, yes?"
She turned the light in the lamp higher, and looked at Klimkov with a
smile. While getting the dishes ready she continued.
"I like to drink tea with you alone. I myself and all the comrades, we
talk a great deal. We must talk so much, we scarcely have time to think.
That's absurd, and bad, but it's true. So it's pleasant to see a
taciturn, thinking man. Will you have a glass of milk? It will do you
good. You are growing very thin, it seems to me."
Klimkov took the glass she offered him, and slowly sipped the watery
unsavory milk. He wanted to get through with the business at once.
"This is it. You said you need type."
"I did. I know you'll give it to us."
She said these words simply, with a confidence not to be shaken. They
were like a blow to Yevsey. He flung himself on the back of the chair
astonished.
"Why do you know?" he asked dully after a pause.
"When I asked you, you said neither yes nor no. So I thought you would
certainly say yes."
Yevsey did not understand. He tried not to meet her look.
"Why?" he queried again.
"It must be because I consider you a good man. I trust you."
"You mustn't trust," said Yevsey.
"Well, enough nonsense, you must."
"And suppose you've been mistaken?"
She shrugged her shoulders.
"Well, what of it?" After a pause she added calmly, "Not to believe a
man means not to respect him. It means to think him beforehand a liar,
an ugly person. Is that possible?"
"That's what is necessary," mumbled Yevsey.
"What?"
"I can furnish the type." He sighed. The task was accomplished. He was
silent for several minutes, sitting with his head bowed, his hands
pressed tight between his knees, while he listened suspiciously to the
rapid beating of his heart.
Olga leaned her elbows on the table, and in a low voice told him when
and where the promised type must be brought. He made a mental note of
her words, and repeated them to himself, desiring by this repetition to
hinder the growth of the painful feeling in his empty breast. Now that
he had fulfilled his duty a stifling nausea slowly arose from the depths
of his soul; and that feeling of an alien inside himself, of a
constantly widening cleft in his being, came over him in a tormenting
wave.
"You noticed," the girl said quietly, "how rapidly the people are
changing, how faith in other persons is growing, how quickly one gets to
know the other, how everybody seeks friends and finds them. All have
become simpler, more trusting, more willing to open up their souls. See
how good it is."
Her words trembled before him like moths, each with its own character.
Simple, kind, joyous, they all seemed fairly to smile. Unable to make up
his mind to look Olga in the face, Klimkov took to watching her shadow
on the wall over his shoulders, and drew upon it her blue eyes, the
medium-sized mouth with the pale lips, her face somewhat weary and
serious, but soft and kind.
"Shall I tell her now that all this is a hocus-pocus? That she will be
ruined?"
He answered himself:
"They'll drive me out. They'll swear at me, and drive me out."
"Do you know Zimin the joiner?" he suddenly asked.
"No, why?"
Yevsey sighed painfully.
"Just so. He's a good man, too, a Socialist."
"We are many," observed Olga with assurance.
"If she knew the joiner," Klimkov thought slowly, "I would tell her to
ask him about me. Then--"
The chair seemed to be giving way beneath him, the nausea, he thought,
would immediately gush into his throat. He coughed, and examined the
clean little room, which small and poor though it was, once more gripped
at his heart. The moon looked into the room round as Yakov's face, and
the light in the lamp seemed irritatingly superfluous.
"More and more people come into being who realize that they are called
upon by destiny to order life differently--upon truth and intellect,"
said Olga dreamily and simply.
Yevsey, yielding more and more to the power of the triumphant feeling
the girl and the quiet contracted room inspired in him, thought:
"I'll put out the light, fall on my knees before her, embrace her feet,
and tell her everything--and she will give me a kick."
But the fear of ill treatment did not deter him. He raised himself
heavily from his chair, and put out his hand to the lamp. Then his hand
dropped lazily, drowsily, his legs shook. He started.
"What are you doing?" demanded Olga.
He tried to answer, but a soft gurgle came instead of words. He dropped
to his knees, and seized her dress with trembling hands. She pressed one
hot hand against his forehead, and with the other grasped his shoulder,
at the same time hiding her legs under the table with a powerful
movement.
"No, no, get up!" she exclaimed sternly. "Oh my, how dreadful this is!
My dear, I understand, you are worn out, I am sorry for you, you are an
honorable man--I cannot--why, you don't ask for charity--then get up."
The warmth of her strong body roused in him a sharp sensual desire, and
he took the pushing of her hand as an encouraging caress.
"She's not a saint," darted through his mind, and he embraced the girl's
knees more vigorously.
"I tell you, get up!" she exclaimed in a muffled voice, no longer
persuasively, but in a tone of command.
He rose without having succeeded in saying anything. The girl had
confused his desires, his words, and feelings. She had put into his
breast something insulting and stinging.
"Understand--" he mumbled, spreading out his hands.
"Yes, yes, I understand--my God, always this on the road!" she
exclaimed. Looking into his face she went on harshly, "I am sick of it.
I am insulted. I can't be only a woman to everybody. Oh, God! How
pitiful you all are, after all."
She went to the window, and the table now separated her from Yevsey. A
dim, cold perplexity took hold of his heart; an insulting shame quietly
burned him.
"I tell you what--don't come to me--I beg of you. I'll feel awkward in
your presence, and you, too--please."
Yevsey took up his hat, flung his coat over his shoulders, and walked
away with bowed head. Several minutes later he was sitting on a bench at
the gate of a house, mumbling as if drunk:
"The baggage!" But he had to strain himself to bring out the epithet. It
was not genuine. He ransacked all the shameful names for a woman, all
ugly oaths, and poured them over the tall, shapely figure of Olga,
desiring to sully every bit of her with mud, to darken her from head to
foot, in order not to see her face and eyes. But oaths did not cling to
her. She stood before his eyes, stretching out her hands, pushing him
away, serene and white. Her image robbed his oaths of their force, and
though Yevsey persistently roused anger within himself, he felt only
shame.
He looked for a long time at the round solitary ball of the moon, which
moved in the sky in bounds, as if leaping like a large bright rubber
ball; and he heard the quiet sound of its motion, resembling the
beatings of a heart.
He did not love this pale melancholy disk, which always seemed to watch
him with cold obstinacy in the heavy movements of his life. It was late,
but the city was not yet asleep. From all sides floated sounds.
"Formerly the nights were quieter," thought Klimkov. He rose, and walked
away, without putting his arms into the sleeves of his coat, his hat
pushed back on his neck.
"Well, all right, wait," he thought, doing violence to himself. Finally
he decided, "I'll deliver them over, and as a reward I'll ask to be
transferred to another city. That's all."
He reluctantly surrendered himself to the desires to revenge himself
upon Olga, and strengthened the feeling with a supreme effort.
Nevertheless it continued to cover his heart with a thin scale, and was
constantly breaking down so that he had to fortify it again. Beneath
this desire unexpectedly appeared another, not strong, but restless. He
wanted to see the girl once more, wanted to listen in silence to her
talk, to sit with her in her room. He quenched the longing with thoughts
that designedly lowered Olga.
"If I had a lot of money, you would dance naked before me. I know your
lewd set." But to himself he said obdurately, "You won't sully her, you
won't attain it."
He wanted this or the other, but neither this nor the other was
attainable. In calmer moments he realized this truth, which fairly
crushed him, and plunged him into a heavy sleep troubled by nightmares.