_Monday, April 19th._--Primrose day in the House of Commons was more
honoured in the breach than the observance. Barely a dozen Members
sported Lord BEACONFIELD'S favourite flower (for salads), and one of
them found himself so uncomfortably conspicuous that shortly after the
proceedings opened he furtively transferred his buttonhole to his
coat-pocket. Among those who remained faithful were Lord LAMBOURNE (in
the Peers' Gallery), who had for this occasion substituted a posy of
primroses for his usual picotee, and, quaintly enough, Mr. HOGGE, who
had not hitherto been suspected of Disraelian sympathies.
[Illustration:
"A primrose by a river's brim
A yellow primrose was to him
And it was nothing more."
"Mr. HOGGE had not hitherto been suspected of Disraelian
sympathies."]
For a Budget-day the attendance was smaller than usual. But it was large
enough to prevent Mr. BILLING from securing his usual seat. The SPEAKER,
however, did not smile upon his suggestion that he should occupy one of
the vacant places on the Front Opposition Bench, and curtly informed him
that there was plenty of room in the Gallery. Thither Mr. BILLING betook
himself, and thence he addressed a question which Mr. HOPE, the Minister
concerned, was unable to catch, his ears not being attuned to sounds
from that altitude.
Otherwise Question-time was chiefly remarkable for the loud and
continued burst of cheering from the Coalition benches which greeted Mr.
WILL THORNE'S suggestion (_a propos_ of LENIN'S industrial conscription)
that "it would be a very good thing to make all the idlers in this
country work." Mr. THORNE seemed quite embarrassed by the popularity of
his proposal, which did not, however, appear to arouse the same
enthusiasm among his colleagues of the Labour Party.
It was four o'clock when Mr. CHAMBERLAIN rose to "open the Budget" (he
clings to that old-fashioned phrase), and just after six when he
completed a speech which Mr. ASQUITH (himself an ex-Chancellor of the
Exchequer) justly praised for its lucidity and comprehensiveness.
Mr. CHAMBERLAIN could not on this occasion congratulate himself (as his
predecessors were wont to do) on the accuracy of his forecasts. He had
two shots last year, in Spring and Autumn, but both times was many
millions out in his calculations. Fortunately all the mistakes were on
the right side, and he came out with a surplus of one hundred and
sixty-four millions (about as much as the whole revenue of the country
when first he went to the Exchequer) to devote to the redemption of
debt.
But that did not content him. For an hour by the clock he piled up the
burdens on the taxpayer. His arguments were not always consistent. It is
not quite easy to see why, because ladies have taken to smoking
cigarettes, an extra heavy duty should be imposed on imported cigars; or
how the appearance of "a new class of champagne-drinkers" justifies a
further tax upon the humble consumer of "dinner-claret."
Nor is it easy to follow the process of reasoning by which the
CHANCELLOR convinced himself that the Excess Profits Tax, which last
year he described as a great deterrent to enterprise and industry, only,
justifiable as "a temporary measure," should now be not merely continued
but increased by fifty per cent.
[Illustration: _Mr. CHAMBERLAIN._ "I DON'T CARE WHAT
ANYBODY SAYS ABOUT THIS BLOOMING TREE (I USE THE EPITHET
IN ITS LITERAL SENSE); I SHALL LET IT KEEP ON FOR
ANOTHER YEAR."]
This proposal seemed to excite more hostility than any other. But the
single taxers were annoyed by the final disappearance of the Land Values
Duties (the only original feature of Mr. LLOYD GEORGE'S epoch-making
first Budget). Mr. RAFFAN pictured their author being dragged at the
Tory chariot-wheels, and Dr. MURRAY observed that the land-taxes were
evidently not allowed "on the other side of the Rubicon."
The general view was that the Government had shown courage in imposing
fresh taxation, but would have saved themselves and the country a great
deal of trouble if they had been equally bold in reducing expenditure.
_Tuesday, April 20th._--When a local band at Cologne recently played the
"Wacht am Rhein" the British officers present stood up, on the ground
(as they explained to a surprised German) that _they_ were now the Watch
on the Rhine. But are they? According to Colonel BURN the Army of the
Rhine is now so short of men that it is compelled to employ German
civilians as batmen, clerks and even telephone-operators; and Mr.
CHURCHILL was fain to admit that it would not surprise him to hear that
"some assistance has been derived from the local population."
The Carnarvonshire police are peeved because they are not allowed to
belong to any secret society except the Freemasons, and consequently are
debarred from membership of the Royal Ante-diluvian Order of Buffaloes.
Mr. SHORTT disclaimed responsibility, but it is expected that the Member
for the Carnarvon Boroughs, who is notoriously sympathetic to
Ante-diluvians (is not his motto _Apres moi le deluge_?), will take up
the matter on his return from San Remo.
Having had time to consider the Budget proposals in detail Mr. ASQUITH
was less complimentary and more critical. Good-humoured chaff of the
PRIME MINISTER on the demise of the Land Values Duties before they had
yielded the "rare and refreshing fruits" promised ten years ago, was
followed by a reasoned condemnation of the proposed increase in the wine
duties, which he believed would diminish consumption and cause
international complications with our Allies. The CHANCELLOR, again, had
thought too much of revenue and too little of economy. He urged him--in
a magnificent mixture of metaphors--to cut away those parasitic
excrescences upon the normal administrative system of the country which
now constituted an open tap.
_Wednesday, April 21st._--The abolition of the Guide-lecturer at Kew
Gardens was deplored by Lord SUDELEY and other Peers. But as, according
to Lord LEE, out of a million visitors last year only five hundred
listened to the Guide--an average of less than three per lecture--the
Government can hardly be blamed for saving a hundred pounds.
Retrenchment, after all, must begin somewhere.
Sir DONALD MACLEAN cannot have heard of this signal example of
Government economy or he would not have denounced Ministers so
vehemently for their extravagance. His most specific charge was that in
Mesopotamia they were "spending money like water in looking for oil."
In a further defence of the Budget proposals Mr. CHAMBERLAIN disclaimed
the notion that it was the duty of the Chancellor of the Exchequer to
denounce in the House the Estimates which he had approved in Cabinet.
His business was to find the money. Circumstances had altered his
attitude to the Excess Profits Duty, and he was now determined to stick
to it. Did not a cynic once say that nothing succeeds like excess?
Mr. BARNES, who was loudly cheered on his return to the House, joined in
the cry for economy. "Some departments," he declared, "existed only
because they had existed."
The country clergy are without doubt the most over-rated persons in the
country--I mean, of course, from a fiscal point of view. Consequently
the House gave a friendly reception to a Bill intended to relieve them
of some of their pecuniary burdens.
_Thursday, April 22nd._--When Dr. MACNAMARA was Secretary to the
Admiralty no Minister was clearer or more direct in his answers. Now
that he has become Minister he has laid aside his quarter-deck manner
and adopted tones of whispering humbleness which hardly reach the Press
Gallery.
He ought to take example fro Mr. STANTON, who never leaves the House in
doubt as to what he means. This afternoon, his purpose was to announce
that a certain "Trio" on the Opposition Benches was in league with the
forces of disorder. "Bolshies!" he shouted in a voice that frightened
the pigeons in Palace Yard.
Later in the evening Mr. STANTON indicated that unless the salaries of
Members of Parliament were raised he should have seriously to consider
the question of returning to his old trade of a coal-hewer, at which I
gathered he could make much more money with an infinitely smaller
exertion of lung-power.
[Illustration: "If, as appears to be the case, it is for
the moment more or less decently interred, its epitaph
should be not _Reguiescat_ but _Resurget_" (cheers).
_Mr. ASQUITH on the Land Values Duties._]
The vote for Agriculture and Fisheries was supported by Sir A.
GRIFFITH-BOSCAWEN in a speech crammed full of miscellaneous information.
We learned that the Minister once smoked a pipe of Irish tobacco, and
said "Never Again"; that the slipper-limpet, formerly the terror of the
oyster-beds had now by the ingenuity of his Department been transformed
into a valuable source of poultry-food, and that the roundabout process
by which the Germans in bygone days imported eel-fry from the Severn for
their own rivers, and then exported the full-grown fish for the
delectation of East-end dinner-tables, had been done away with. In the
matter of eels this country is now self-supporting.
* * * * *
"The stock markets showed a good deal of uncertainty
this morning and dealers marked prices lower in many
cases to protect themselves against possible sales on
the Budget proposals, particularly the excess profits
duty and the corruption tax."--_Provincial Paper._
Mr. CHAMBERLAIN omitted to mention the last-named impost, but no doubt
that was his artfulness.
* * * * *