Sydney Smith is credited with saying that it required a surgical
operation to get a joke into a Scotchman's head. And not a bad
reply is that of the Scotchman: "Yes, an _English_ joke."
It is unnecessary, however, to cross the Atlantic in order to find
a few well authenticated cases where the surgical operation would have
been required. The Hon. Samuel H. Treat, United States Judge of
Southern Illinois, was one of the ablest and most upright of judges,
and possibly--on or off the bench--the most solemn-appearing of
all of the sons of men.
This little incident was related by Judge Weldon. Soon after
the close of the War, he one day told Judge Treat a story he had
heard upon a recent visit to Washington. McDougall, formerly of
Illinois, but at that time a Senator from California, had become
very dissipated near the close of his term. At a late hour one
night a policeman on the Avenue found him in an utterly helpless
condition--literally in the gutter. As the officer was making
an ineffectual attempt to get the unfortunate statesman upon his
feet, he inquired: "Who are you?" The reply was: "This morning I
was Senator McDougall, but now I am _Sewered!"_
A few moments later Mr. Hay came into the office and Judge Treat
said: "Hay, Weldon has just told me a good story about our old
friend McDougall. Mac was in the gutter, and a policeman asked
him who he was, and Mac told him, 'This morning I was Senator
McDougall, but now I am the Hon. William H. Seward!'"