CHAPTER XII.

NATURE.

The girls had every liberty; their mother seldom interfered. Herself

true to her own dim horn-lantern, she had confidence in the

discretion of her daughters, and looked for no more than discretion.

Hence an amount of intercourse was possible between them and the

young men, which must have speedily grown to a genuine intimacy had

they inhabited even a neighbouring sphere of conscious life.

Almost unknown to herself, however, a change for the better had

begun in Mercy. She had not yet laid hold of, had not yet perceived

any truth; but she had some sense of the blank where truth ought to

be. It was not a sense that truth was lacking; it was only a sense

that something was not in her which was in those men. A nature such

as hers, one that had not yet sinned against the truth, was not one

long to frequent such a warm atmosphere of live truth, without

approach to the hour when it must chip its shell, open its eyes, and

acknowledge a world of duty around it.

One lovely star-lit night of keen frost, the two mothers were

sitting by a red peat-fire in the little drawing-room of the

cottage, and Ian was talking to the girls over some sketches he had

made in the north, when the chief came in, bringing with him an air

of sharp exhilaration, and proposed a walk.

"Come and have a taste of star-light!" he said.

The girls rose at once, and were ready in a minute.

The chief was walking between the two ladies, and Ian was a few

steps in front, his head bent as in thought. Suddenly, Mercy saw him

spread out his arms toward the starry vault, with his face to its

serrated edge of mountain-tops. The feeling, almost the sense of

another presence awoke in her, and as quickly vanished. The thought,

IS HE A PANTHEIST? took its place. Had she not surprised him in an

act of worship? In that wide outspreading of the lifted arms, was he

not worshipping the whole, the Pan? Sky and stars and mountains and

sea were his God! She walked aghast, forgetful of a hundred things

she had heard him say that might have settled the point. She had,

during the last day or two, been reading an article in which

PANTHEISM was once and again referred to with more horror than

definiteness. Recovering herself a little, she ventured approach to

the subject.

"Macruadh," she said, "Mr. Ian and you often say things about NATURE

that I cannot understand: I wish you would tell me what you mean by

it."

"By what?" asked Alister.

"By NATURE" answered Mercy. "I heard Mr. Ian say, for instance, the

other night, that he did not like Nature to take liberties with him;

you said she might take what liberties with you she pleased; and

then you went on talking so that I could not understand a word

either of you said!"

While she spoke, Ian had turned and rejoined them, and they were now

walking in a line, Mercy between the two men, and Christina on Ian's

right. The brothers looked at each other: it would be hard to make

her understand just that example! Something more rudimentary must

prepare the way! Silence fell for a moment, and then Ian said--

"We mean by nature every visitation of the outside world through our

senses."

"More plainly, please Mr. Ian! You cannot imagine how stupid I feel

when you are talking your thinks, as once I heard a child call

them."

"I mean by nature, then, all that you see and hear and smell and

taste and feel of the things round about you."

"If that be all you mean, why should you make it seem so difficult?"

"But that is not all. We mean the things themselves only for the

sake of what they say to us. As our sense of smell brings us news of

fields far off, so those fields, or even the smell only that comes

from them, tell us of things, meanings, thoughts, intentions beyond

them, and embodied in them."

"And that is why you speak of Nature as a person?" asked Mercy.

"Whatever influences us must be a person. But God is the only real

person, being in himself, and without help from anybody; and so we

talk even of the world which is but his living garment, as if that

were a person; and we call it SHE as if it were a woman, because so

many of God's loveliest influences come to us through her. She

always seems to me a beautiful old grandmother."

"But there now! when you talk of her influences, and the liberties

she takes, I do not know what you mean. She seems to do and be

something to you which certainly she does not and is not to me. I

cannot tell what to make of it. I feel just as when our music-master

was talking away about thorough bass: I could not get hold, head or

tail, of what the man was after, and we all agreed there was no

sense in it. Now I begin to suspect there must have been too much!"

"There is no fear of her!" said Ian to himself.

"My heart told me the truth about her!" thought Alister jubilant.

"Now we shall have talk!"

"I think I can let you see into it, Miss Mercy," said Ian. "Imagine

for a moment how it would be if, instead of having a roof like 'this

most excellent canopy the air, this brave o'erhanging, this

majestical roof, fretted with golden fire,'--"

"Are you making the words, or saying them out of a book?"

interrupted Mercy.

"Ah! you don't know Hamlet? How rich I should feel myself if I had

the first reading of it before me like you!--But imagine how

different it would have been if, instead of such a roof, we had only

clouds, hanging always down, like the flies in a theatre, within a

yard or two of our heads!"

Mercy was silent for a moment, then said,

"It would be horribly wearisome."

"It would indeed be wearisome! But how do you think it would affect

your nature, your being?"

Mercy held the peace which is the ignorant man's wisdom.

"We should have known nothing of astronomy," said Christina.

"True; and the worst would have been, that the soul would have had

no astronomy--no notion of heavenly things."

"There you leave me out again!" said Mercy.

"I mean," said Ian, "that it would have had no sense of

outstretching, endless space, no feeling of heights above, and

depths beneath. The idea of space would not have come awake in it."

"I understand!" said Christina. "But I do not see that we should

have been much the worse off. Why should we have the idea of more

than we want? So long as we have room, I do not see what space

matters to us!"

"Ah, but when the soul wakes up, it needs all space for room! A

limit of thousands of worlds will not content it. Mere elbow-room

will not do when the soul wakes up!"

"Then my soul is not waked up yet!" rejoined Christina with a laugh.

Ian did not reply, and Christina felt that he accepted the

proposition, absurd as it seemed to herself.

"But there is far more than that," he resumed. "What notion could

you have had of majesty, if the heavens seemed scarce higher than

the earth? what feeling of the grandeur of him we call God, of his

illimitation in goodness? For space is the body to the idea of

liberty. Liberty is--God and the souls that love; these are the

limitless room, the space, in which thoughts, the souls of things,

have their being. If there were no holy mind, then no freedom, no

spiritual space, therefore no thoughts; just as, if there were no

space, there could be no things."

Ian saw that not even Alister was following him, and changed his

key.

"Look up," he said, "and tell me what you see.--What is the shape

over us?"

"It is a vault," replied Christina.

"A dome--is it not?" said Mercy.

"Yes; a vault or a dome, recognizable at the moment mainly by its

shining points. This dome we understand to be the complement or

completing part of a correspondent dome on the other side of the

world. It follows that we are in the heart of a hollow sphere of

loveliest blue, spangled with light. Now the sphere is the one

perfect geometrical form. Over and round us then we have the one

perfect shape. I do not say it is put there for the purpose of

representing God; I say it is there of necessity, because of its

nature, and its nature is its relation to God. It is of God's

thinking; and that half-sphere above men's heads, with influence

endlessly beyond the reach of their consciousness, is the beginning

of all revelation of him to men. They must begin with that. It is

the simplest as well as most external likeness of him, while its

relation to him goes so deep that it represents things in his very

nature that nothing else could."

"You bewilder me," said Mercy. "I cannot follow you. I am not fit

for such high things!"

"I will go on; you will soon begin to see what I mean: I know what

you are fit for better than you do yourself, Miss Mercy.--Think

then how it would be if this blue sky were plainly a solid. Men of

old believed it a succession of hollow spheres, one outside the

other; it is hardly a wonder they should have had little gods. No

matter how high the vault of the inclosing sphere; limited at all it

could not declare the glory of God, it could only show his

handiwork. In our day it is a sphere only to the eyes; it is a

foreshortening of infinitude that it may enter our sight; there is

no imagining of a limit to it; it is a sphere only in this, that in

no one direction can we come nearer to its circumference than in

another. This infinitive sphere, I say then, or, if you like it

better, this spheric infinitude, is the only figure, image, emblem,

symbol, fit to begin us to know God; it is an idea incomprehensible;

we can only believe in it. In like manner God cannot by searching be

found out, cannot be grasped by any mind, yet is ever before us, the

one we can best know, the one we must know, the one we cannot help

knowing; for his end in giving us being is that his humblest

creature should at length possess himself, and be possessed by him."

"I think I begin," said Mercy--and said no more.

"If it were not for the outside world," resumed Ian, "we should have

no inside world to understand things by. Least of all could we

understand God without these millions of sights and sounds and

scents and motions, weaving their endless harmonies. They come out

from his heart to let us know a little of what is in it!"

Alister had been listening hard. He could not originate such things,

but he could understand them; and his delight in them proved them

his own, although his brother had sunk the shaft that laid open

their lode.

"I never heard you put a thing better, Ian!" he said.

"You gentlemen," said Mercy, "seem to have a place to think in that

I don't know how to get into! Could you not open your church-door a

little wider to let me in? There must be room for more than two!"

She was looking up at Alister, not so much afraid of him; Ian was to

her hardly of this world. In her eyes Alister saw something that

seemed to reflect the starlight; but it might have been a luminous

haze about the waking stars of her soul!

"My brother has always been janitor to me," replied Alister; "I do

not know how to open any door. But here no door needs to be opened;

you have just to step straight into the temple of nature, among all

the good people worshipping."

"There! that is what I was afraid of!" cried Mercy: "you are

pantheists!"

"Bless my soul, Mercy!" exclaimed Christina; "what do you mean?"

"Yes," answered Ian. "If to believe that not a lily can grow, not a

sparrow fall to the ground without our Father, be pantheism, Alister

and I are pantheists. If by pantheism you mean anything that would

not fit with that, we are not pantheists."

"Why should we trouble about religion more than is required of us!"

interposed Christina.

"Why indeed?" returned Ian. "But then how much is required?"

"You require far more than my father, and he is good enough for me!"

"The Master says we are to love God with all our hearts and souls

and strength and mind."

"That was in the old law, Ian," said Alister.

"You are right. Jesus only justified it--and did it."

"How then can you worship in the temple of Nature?" said Mercy.

"Just as he did. It is Nature's temple, mind, for the worship of

God, not of herself!"

"But how am I to get into it? That is what I want to know."

"The innermost places of the temple are open only to such as already

worship in a greater temple; but it has courts into which any honest

soul may enter."

"You wouldn't set me to study Wordsworth?"

"By no means."

"I am glad of that--though there must be more in him than I see, or

you couldn't care for him so much!"

"Some of Nature's lessons you must learn before you can understand

them."

"Can you call it learning a lesson if you do not understand it?"

"Yes--to a certain extent. Did you learn at school to work the rule

of three?"

"Yes; and I was rather fond of it."

"Did you understand it?"

"I could work sums in it."

"Did you see how it was that setting the terms down so, and working

out the rule, must give you a true answer. Did you perceive that it

was safe to buy or sell, to build a house, or lay out a garden, by

the rule of three?"

"I did not. I do not yet."

"Then one may so far learn a lesson without understanding it! All

do, more or less, in Dame Nature's school. Not a few lessons must be

so learned in order to be better learned. Without being so learned

first, it is not possible to understand them; the scholar has not

facts enough about the things to understand them. Keats's youthful

delight in Nature was more intense even than Wordsworth's, but he

was only beginning to understand her when he died. Shelley was much

nearer understanding her than Keats, but he was drowned before he

did understand her. Wordsworth was far before either of them. At the

same time, presumptuous as it may appear, I believe there are

regions to be traversed, beyond any point to which Wordsworth leads

us."

"But how am I to begin? Do tell me. Nothing you say helps me in the

least."

"I have all the time been leading you toward the door at which you

want to go in. It is not likely, however, that it will open to you

at once. I doubt if it will open to you at all except through

sorrow."

"You are a most encouraging master!" said Christina, with a light

laugh.

"It was Wordsworth's bitter disappointment in the outcome of the

French revolution," continued Ian, "that opened the door to him. Yet

he had gone through the outer courts of the temple with more

understanding than any who immediately preceded him.--Will you let

me ask you a question?"

"You frighten me!" said Mercy.

"I am sorry for that. We will talk of something else."

"I am not afraid of what you may ask me; I am frightened at what you

tell me. I fear to go on if I must meet Sorrow on the way!"

"You make one think of some terrible secret society!" said

Christina.

"Tell me then, Miss Mercy, is there anything you love very much? I

don't say any PERSON, but any THING."

"I love some animals."

"An animal is not a thing. It is possible to love animals and not

the nature of which we are speaking. You might love a dog dearly,

and never care to see the sun rise!--Tell me, did any flower ever

make you cry?

"No," answered Mercy, with a puzzled laugh; "how could it?"

"Did any flower ever make you a moment later in going to bed, or a

moment earlier in getting out of it?"

"No, certainly!"

"In that direction, then, I am foiled!"

"You would not really have me cry over a flower, Mr. Ian? Did ever a

flower make you cry yourself? Of course not! it is only silly women

that cry for nothing!"

"I would rather not bring myself in at present," answered Ian

smiling. "Do you know how Chaucer felt about flowers?"

"I never read a word of Chaucer."

"Shall I give you an instance?"

"Please."

"Chaucer was a man of the world, a courtier, more or less a man of

affairs, employed by Edward III. in foreign business of state: you

cannot mistake him for an effeminate or sentimental man! He does not

anywhere, so far as I remember, say that ever he cried over a

flower, but he shows a delight in some flowers so delicate and deep

that it must have a source profounder than that of most people's

tears. When we go back I will read you what he says about the daisy;

but one more general passage I think I could repeat. There are

animals in it too!"

"Pray let us hear it," said Christina.

He spoke the following stanzas--not quite correctly, but supplying

for the moment's need where he could not recall:--

A gardein saw I, full of blosomed bowis,

Upon a river, in a grene mede,

There as sweetnesse evermore inough is,

With floures white, blewe, yelowe, and rede,

And cold welle streames, nothing dede,

That swommen full of smale fishes light,

With finnes rede, and scales silver bright.

On every bough the birdes heard I sing,

With voice of angell, in hir armonie,

That busied hem, hir birdes forth to bring,

The little pretty conies to hir play gan hie,

And further all about I gan espie,

The dredeful roe, the buck, the hart, and hind,

Squirrels, and beastes small, of gentle kind.

Of instruments of stringes in accorde,

Heard I so play, a ravishing swetnesse,

That God, that maker is of all and Lorde,

Ne heard never better, as I gesse,

Therewith a wind, unneth it might be lesse,

Made in the leaves grene a noise soft,

Accordant to the foules song on loft.

The aire of the place so attempre was,

That never was ther grevance of hot ne cold,

There was eke every noisome spice and gras,

Ne no man may there waxe sicke ne old,

Yet was there more joy o thousand fold,

Than I can tell or ever could or might,

There is ever clere day, and never night.

He modernized them also a little in repeating them, so that his

hearers missed nothing through failing to understand the words: how

much they gained, it were hard to say.

"It reminds one," commented Ian, "of Dante's paradise on the top of

the hill of purgatory."

"I don't know anything about Dante either," said Mercy regretfully.

"There is plenty of time!" said Ian.

"But there is so much to learn!" returned Mercy in a hopeless tone.

"That is the joy of existence!" Ian replied. "We are not bound to

know; we are only bound to learn.--But to return to my task: a man

may really love a flower. In another poem Chaucer tells us that such

is his delight in his books that no other pleasure can take him from

them--

Save certainly, when that the month of May

Is comen, and that I heare the foules sing,

And that the floures ginnen for to spring,

Farwell my booke, and my devotion!

Poor people love flowers; rich people admire them."

"But," said Mercy, "how can one love a thing that has no life?"

Ian could have told her that whatever grows must live; he could

further have told her his belief that life cannot be without its

measure of consciousness; but it would have led to more difficulty,

and away from the end he had in view. He felt also that no

imaginable degree of consciousness in it was commensurate with the

love he had himself for almost any flower. His answer to Mercy's

question was this:--

"The flowers come from the same heart as man himself, and are sent

to be his companions and ministers. There is something divinely

magical, because profoundly human in them. In some at least the

human is plain; we see a face of childlike peace and confidence that

appeals to our best. Our feeling for many of them doubtless owes

something to childish associations; but how did they get their hold

of our childhood? Why did they enter our souls at all? They are

joyous, inarticulate children, come with vague messages from the

father of all. If I confess that what they say to me sometimes makes

me weep, how can I call my feeling for them anything but love? The

eternal thing may have a thousand forms of which we know nothing

yet!"

Mercy felt Ian must mean something she ought to like, if only she

knew what it was; but he had not yet told her anything to help her!

He had, however, neither reached his end nor lost his way; he was

leading her on--gently and naturally.

"I did not mean," he resumed, "that you must of necessity begin with

the flowers. I was only inquiring whether at that point you were

nearer to Nature.--Tell me--were you ever alone?"

"Alone!" repeated Mercy, thinking. "--Surely everybody has been many

times alone!"

"Could you tell when last you were alone?"

She thought, but could not tell.

"What I want to ask you," said Ian, "is--did you ever feel alone?

Did you ever for a moment inhabit loneliness? Did it ever press

itself upon you that there was nobody near--that if you called

nobody would hear? You are not alone while you know that you can

have a fellow creature with you the instant you choose."

"I hardly think I was ever alone in that way."

"Then what I would have you do," continued Ian, "is--to make

yourself alone in one of Nature's withdrawing-rooms, and seat

yourself in one of Grannie's own chairs.--I am coming to the point

at last!--Upon a day when the weather is fine, go out by yourself.

Tell no one where you are going, or that you are going anywhere.

Climb a hill. If you cannot get to the top of it, go high on the

side of it. No book, mind! nothing to fill your thinking-place from

another's! People are always saying 'I think,' when they are not

thinking at all, when they are at best only passing the thoughts of

others whom they do not even know.

"When you have got quite alone, when you do not even know the

nearest point to anybody, sit down and be lonely. Look out on the

loneliness, the wide world round you, and the great vault over you,

with the lonely sun in the middle of it; fold your hands in your

lap, and be still. Do not try to think anything. Do not try to call

up any feeling or sentiment or sensation; just be still. By and by,

it may be, you will begin to know something of Nature. I do not know

you well enough to be sure about it; but if you tell me afterwards

how you fared, I shall then know you a little better, and perhaps be

able to tell you whether Nature will soon speak to you, or not

until, as Henry Vaughan says, some veil be broken in you."

They were approaching the cottage, and little more was said. They

found Mrs. Palmer prepared to go, and Mercy was not sorry: she had

had enough for a while. She was troubled at the thought that perhaps

she was helplessly shut out from the life inhabited by the brothers.

When she lay down, her own life seemed dull and poor. These men,

with all their kindness, respect, attention, and even attendance

upon them, did not show them the homage which the men of their own

circle paid them!

"They will never miss us!" she said to herself. "They will go on

with their pantheism, or whatever it is, all the same!"

But they should not say she was one of those who talk but will not

do! That scorn she could not bear!

All the time, however, the thing seemed to savour more of spell or

cast of magic than philosophy: the means enjoined were suggestive of

a silent incantation!

What's Mine's Mine — Volume 2 · 第 12 / 17 章