two companions of my adventure were carried, and placed beside me. My
terror of them had now entirely fled; for, from their contortions and
half-muttered expressions, I had perceived they were not dead, but in a
beastly state of intoxication. Even to be from under the same roof with
the cause of my sufferings was to me a change much for the better. With
a mind comparatively at ease, I fell asleep upon the hard deck, where I
had at first taken my station, and remained in happy unconsciousness
until I was awoke after sunrise, in consequence of the bustle and noise
around me. For a few minutes I revolved the events of the preceding day
and night in my mind, and shuddered as the recollection dawned upon me.
Raising myself upon my elbow, I gazed around as well as the obscurity
would permit (for the main hatch was closed), and saw the two young men
who had caused me so much alarm, lying close beside me, in a profound
sleep, and breathing very heavily. I attempted to rise; but felt so sick
and giddy that I could not keep my feet, from the motion of the vessel.
I longed for the presence of some of the crew; but none of them came
near us. The two lads at length awoke from their sleep, bewildered and
sick almost to death; they gazed around them with a vacant stare, as if
they had just passed into a new state of existence. They spoke not a
word; their minds were occupied in examining all around them, and, as I
thought, ascertaining their own identity. Young as I was, had I been at
ease, I could have enjoyed the extraordinary scene before me; but, alas!
I was a partaker of all the feelings that were passing in their minds.
At length they broke silence--
'Willie, Willie, what's come owre us now?' cried Peter.
'Indeed I do not know, Peter,' replied he; 'but I fear it is no good.'
'What good can be expected from such company as we were in last night?'
continued the first, 'and such drinking as we had. O Willie, had you
come away when I wanted--but I am as bad as you, or I would have left
you when I threatened.'
'There is no use to reflect upon what is done, when it cannot be
undone,' said his friend. 'I fear the deceitful scoundrels drugged our
liquor; for I have no recollection of anything that occurred after your
proposing to leave them.'
Then, addressing me, he asked if I knew where they were, or in what
ship. I answered that I did not, further than that, from what I had seen
and heard, I thought we were on board of a vessel they called the Betsy;
and then gave them an account of all I had witnessed the evening before.
The younger of the two began to weep like a child; while the other,
whose rage knew no bounds, swore fearfully at the two ruffians who had
betrayed them into their present situation. When he became more calm, I
requested him to explain himself; and learned from him his own history
and that of his companion. They were schoolfellows, cousins, and
fellow-apprentices; had served their time as joiners; and then left
their native village, to pursue their calling in the capital, with some
views, though not matured, of emigrating to America. Having been
unsuccessful in obtaining work in the city, they had come down to Leith
to make inquiries about a passage to America; and were so unfortunate
as to fall into the hands of one of the notorious plantation-crimps,
who, pretending to be intimate with the captain of a trading vessel
about to sail, enticed them to his den, that they might obtain all the
information they required. They were plied with liquor; robbed of all
the money they had; and placed in the situation in which I now saw them.
From the inquiries they had made in Leith, and our mutual explanations,
it was too evident to us all three that we had been kidnapped and sold
to a palantine vessel, to be carried out to Virginia, and there sold as
slaves, to the highest bidder. The young men were inconsolable; as
for me, I cared little about it, now that I was assured there was no
immediate personal violence to be feared: hard fare and hard living were
my lot--I knew no other. While others, bred to better things, were in
misery, I was comparatively in happiness. Such is the influence of
habit. To have my provisions regularly served, with nothing to do but
lie upon the floor of the hold, or walk about in its narrow limits, was
to me sufficient recompense for an evil, which to others would have
appeared irremediable.
The next tide after we were put on board, the Betsy left Leith Roads,
and sailed for Aberdeen, on her progress north. Our number was there
augmented to eighteen--the recruits being all boys about my own age,
who, not being kidnapped, but trepanned with false promises, came on
board in great spirits, and full of hope. I could notice the various
operations going forward, in consequence of my cheerful and contented
manner having obtained for me permission to come on deck and range over
the vessel. My slight sickness went off as soon as we were under way;
and, pleased with my new mode of life, I began to make myself as useful
to the crew as I could; but the two lads were not so fortunate; for
they were continually abusing the captain, or importuning him to put
them on shore. In the forenoon of the day before we sailed from Aberdeen,
a boat, containing a quantity of luggage, came alongside, and a
genteelly-dressed couple came on board, and were ushered into the cabin.
The female appeared very dejected; and, hanging upon the male with
anxious fondness, expressed through her silent tears, bent her gaze,
alternately looking towards the shore with an expression of regret,
and then in his face with a languid smile. He was as well-made and
good-looking a man as I have ever seen in all my wanderings; but there
was a marble-like rigidity in his features, only enlivened by a peculiar
cast of his piercing black eyes, that created a peculiar feeling of
uneasiness in me as I looked at him. He left the vessel; but when I know
not; for we sailed before sunset; and I never again saw the female he
left until we had passed Cape Wrath, some few days after. As for myself,
I was quite happy, and felt myself more at home than I had done since my
mother's death. The ship was a home to me. I had my allowance with the
other palantines; slept in the hold with them at night; and enjoyed,
along with many of them, the pleasure of building castles in the
air--anticipations of the wealth and comforts we were to enjoy in the
land of promise. It was, indeed, by delusive accounts of America, that
most of them had been induced to embark.
We were now careering over the blue waves of the vast Atlantic, as if we
were far above the earth. Nothing was there for the weary eye to rest
upon but a dreary expanse of ocean and sky. All was still as death, save
the hissing at the bows of the vessel, as she parted the unfathomable
deep. The crew loitered upon the decks listlessly; and we, as
palantines, huddled together around the mainmast, were whiling away the
time in songs, or talking of the homes we had left behind, and future
hopes in a foreign land. We were suddenly interrupted by the female I
have already mentioned, who came rushing up the companion, from the
cabin, and crouched amongst us like a frightened hare. I could not have
believed that so short a period of time could have wrought so great a
change upon a human being. She was thin, pale; her eyes red, and sunk in
her head; her hair dishevelled; and her whole appearance exhibiting the
extreme of neglect. We all looked upon her in astonishment; for, indeed,
we were not aware that there was a female on board. Her sobs and
distracted looks moved our young hearts almost to tears. She spoke
nothing; fear had chained up her tongue; her eyes were either bent
imploringly upon us, or turned, in aversion and terror, towards the
quarter from whence she had come. All on deck was dumb show; the sailors
looked on, apparently as much surprised as we were; and, in the midst
of the silent scene, the captain came on deck, apparently in great
agitation. He was coming towards us, when the female sank on her knees,
and, raising her clasped hands, called on God to save her from that bad
man; then, looking around to us, implored us, in the most thrilling
accents, not to deliver her up to him. We were ourselves slaves; yet,
such is the force of a woman's appeal, that we placed ourselves between
her and him, while the crew stood apart, and looked silently on. The
captain affected to laugh.
'Lady, what are you afraid of, that you have left the cabin?' he said.
'It was all in jest, upon my honour! You are as safe there as in your
father's house. Come, madam, I shall have the pleasure to lead you
back.'
'Oh, never!' screamed the female. 'Leave me! leave me! if you would not
drive me mad, or into this boundless ocean. What on earth have I now to
care for? I know I am your slave, by the basest and cruellest means, but
worse I shall never be. A favour from your hands would be hateful to me.
With these, my fellow-sufferers, I can alone feel myself secure from
insult. Your cabin I shall never enter. Foolish--oh, how foolishly
confiding I have been!--but criminal I shall never be. So, leave me,
for mercy sake!'
While she spoke, my eyes were fixed upon him. I saw the working of
passion deeply depicted on his countenance; pity had no place there. A
faint shade of shame passed over him; but disappointment settled into
fierce rage. Stamping upon the deck, and in a voice hoarse from
emotion--
'It is well, madam,' he cried. 'You have made your choice, and shall
abide by it; and those who, by their looks, indicate their resolution to
abet your folly, shall not fare the better for their interference. Mate,
call the crew! force the palantines below; and batten them down, as base
mutineers.'
Not one of us had as yet spoken one word; the whole was the affair of a
few minutes. The mate ordered us below; and we were obeying the order as
fast as we could--the distressed female huddling in the midst of us,
fearful to be on the deck alone--when William, in his undaunted manner,
stepped up to the captain, and began to upbraid him, both for his
conduct in having kidnapped us, and for his present conduct towards an
unprotected female. He even threatened him with exposure as soon as we
reached the shores of America. Peter, his friend, in vain urged him to
refrain from irritating the captain; but the hot-headed youth heeded not
the advice, and stood by his point, till the captain, who uttered not
one word, bit his lip, and, hurrying to his cabin, returned with a
cocked pistol in each hand. The mate, who was a good-hearted kind of
lad, was, at the moment, persuading William to go below quietly; but his
blood was up; and, even at sight of the pistols, he quailed not. I
looked on with fear, for the captain's stern silence looked ominous. He
levelled one of the pistols, and fired; the ball passed close by his
intended victim, and went right through the fore-sail. The second he was
in the act of raising, when William struck his hand down, and it went
off, sending the ball through the deck. The furious man now called to
the mate and crew to place poor William in irons. The youth stood still
resolute, and would have rushed upon the captain and hurled him to the
deck, or perhaps overboard (for he was a powerful lad), had not Peter
held him back. The irons were now produced from the cabin--William and
the captain eyeing each other meanwhile like two tigers; and three of
the crew and the mate, set on by the captain, who kept blaspheming in a
fearful manner, rushed to secure the young man. Peter at once loosed his
hold of William, and stood in his defence; whereupon the captain,
starting to give personal aid, uttered a shrill cry of pain, and fell
upon the deck, which was stained with his blood. The ball had passed
through his foot before it entered the wood. As many of us as the
hatchway would admit, witnessed the scene; but none of us had any mind
to be partakers in it. William and Peter were secured and put in irons
before the vindictive villain would allow himself to be removed from the
deck. It was no matter, in his anger, that his foot bled. He even stood,
while the deck was streaming, till we were also battened down into the
dark hold--the two companions remaining in irons above. As soon as we
were all settled below, in which there was not even proper accommodation
for us poor palantines, the female retired to one corner; and, seating
herself on the bare boards, leaned her head to the side of the vessel,
and wept bitterly. We were deeply affected by her situation and
distress; but had nothing in our power whereby to alleviate her sorrow,
save, indeed, our sympathy; and that we only gave in secret; for her
ladylike appearance, in a great measure, overawed us, and made us retire
from her. The greater part of us composed ourselves to sleep. Before
morning, it blew a dreadful gale, as we could perceive by the pitching
of the vessel and the noise of the rigging, which sounded fearfully in
our ears. All of us became very sick. The poor lady I thought would have
died; her weakness was extreme; and her suffering apparently beyond
any present remeid. Two days and nights we remained in this dreadful
situation, without a mouthful of food or a drop of water. Our sufferings
increased hourly, and were almost more than we could endure. We shouted
for help, or to be liberated from our noisome prison. Our cries were
either unheeded or drowned by the noise and tumult of the storm. I and
a few more had recovered from the sickness only to feel, in greater
horror, our painful situation. The heat of the hold was intense, and
aggravated our thirst tenfold. The air even became offensive; our
breathing a kind of painful spasm of the windpipe. We crept to the foot
of the ladder under the main hatch and, holding by it, sucked in some
fresh air. I had been here for some time, and felt my sufferings
alleviated; and the poor female's situation in the distant corner,
selfish as we had all become, moved us so much to pity, that two of us
agreed to relinquish our envied post, to ascertain whether she still
survived.
We found her extended upon the hard boards, to all appearance dead; I
placed my hand upon her heart, to ascertain if life was extinct. She
opened her eyes, and made a motion with her hand as if she wished me to
retire. Humanity forbade compliance; and, in the best manner we could,
we conveyed her to the foot of the ladder, where she gradually began to
recover and breathe more freely. This was now the third day of our
confinement. The storm had almost subsided, as we could feel from the
vessel lying more steady in the water; and, to our unspeakable joy, the
hatch was opened, and a supply of water and biscuit given to us. Next to
the water, the pure air of heaven was most welcome to us. I wet the
parched lips of the pale sufferer, then held the beverage to them. She
swallowed a few mouthfuls, blessed me for my kindness, then sank into
her usual melancholy. We were now told by the mate that we were not to
come on deck; but he would leave the hatch open. We obeyed this command,
which came from the captain. William and Peter, who had witnessed and
endured the whole storm, in irons, lashed at the foot of the mainmast to
a ring bolt, were also liberated, and came down amongst us. We learned
from them that we had been in great danger, and that the mate and crew
had been alarmed for the safety of the vessel. The captain was still
unable to leave his cabin; and, from all accounts, he was very bad of
the wound. This was so far fortunate; for the mate, who was of a humane
disposition, brought some coffee for the female, which William, with
great difficulty, prevailed upon her to take. She gradually began to
recover; and the more passionate bursts of her grief having subsided, we
were anxious to learn how she had been reduced to her present situation,
and thought of making a delicate inquiry into her history. At length the
frank and generous William put the question to her in the most gentle
manner; a burst of tears followed the request.
'Much as it will pain me,' she said, 'I am so indebted to you all for
your kindness and humanity, that I cannot refuse your desire. I almost
feel it a duty to myself; for appearances are strongly against me. So
low as I must appear at present to you all, I was born in affluence,
though not of an ancient family. My father was a wealthy merchant, and
the best of parents. My sainted mother died before I had reached my
tenth year, leaving us both inconsolable for her loss. My father, who
could scarce endure to have me out of his sight--for I was an only
child--engaged a governess to complete my education. She was a young
woman of engaging manners, and possessed of every accomplishment; yet
under these she concealed a selfish disposition and hardness of heart,
which neither my father nor myself suspected could have existed in
one so young and bland in her speech. To me she was most kind and
unremitting in her duties--more, indeed, like a mother than a hireling;
and I loved her as if she had stood in that relation to me. This won my
father's esteem for her, which, unfortunately, soon ripened into love.
One day, I recollect, as I was walking in the garden, accompanied by
him, he led me to an arbour, and, placing me beside him, said--
'Eliza, do you love Marian?'
I artlessly threw my arms around his neck, and exclaiming--
'Oh, yes, papa; how much I thank you for getting me so good a
governess!'
I had pleased him; for he smiled and said--
'My dear Eliza, I mean to bind her to you by a stronger tie. I have
watched her maternal care and affection for you, and mean to give her
the right to call you daughter.'
I was delighted. The marriage was solemnised, and we lived in harmony
and mutual love, so far as I could perceive, for six years. At this
period my father fell into a bad state of health, which threatened to
terminate fatally. Our attentions to him, unremitting and anxious, were
repaid by a gratitude and love which seemed equally divided between his
young wife and the child of his first love. Marian showed no jealousy;
and my heart was incapable of any feelings but those of affection.
Meanwhile, my dear parent, to prepare for the worst, settled his
affairs. We were both in the room with him along with the lawyer. He was
dissolved in tears, and asked us if we were satisfied with the manner in
which he dictated the disposal of his wealth. I could only answer by my
sobs. My grief was excessive. The making of a will, to my young and
inexperienced mind, had all the appearance of the last act of a living
person. Death soon closed the scene. By the settlement, it was provided
that we were to be treated as sisters, only a greater share of power
(as if she had been the elder sister) was given to his wife. It ran
thus:--If neither married, we were to live together, and the survivor
was to enjoy and have the disposal of all. If Marian married, she was,
during her life, to enjoy one-half, which was to revert to me or my
children at her death. If I married during her life, without her
consent, I was to be cut off from any part of my father's property,
except what she might choose to give me. This was a hard condition. I
was to have no claim at law; and, in the event of me or my husband
instituting an action, I was to be cut off with a shilling. This fatal
clause, which I heard read to me at the time with indifference, has been
the cause of all my misfortunes, and since then I have had every reason
to believe my confiding father was prompted to insert it, at the
suggestion of my artful stepmother. For some time, she had, at every
opportunity, been speaking of foolish marriages made by young women, and
their fatal consequences, illustrating them by numerous anecdotes and
examples, whereby she invidiously prepared him for her selfish purpose,
and at last compassed her object without the appearance of a dictation
which he would have spurned. I was thus left at the mercy of this
designing woman, who, when she put on her widow's robes, put off her
hypocrisy towards me, and began to appear in her true colours. Alas! I
have every reason to think that her acting had all along been irksome to
her. She became harsh and cruel, doing all she could to make the house
and her presence disagreeable to me. She became gay, and frequented
company, of which I was forced to partake; and when I could scarce
refrain from tears at the remembrance of some cutting speech she had
used to me only a few hours before, I was forced to smile to hide my
chagrin. Before strangers, there was no change towards me, neither was
there anything I could complain of to my acquaintance; for so artfully
did she manage to make me miserable, that every fault was imputable to
my own apparent bad temper. It was when alone that I experienced her
bitter manner. All was wrong I said or did, and her admonitions for my
amendment were more cutting than her reproofs and abuse. I had several
eligible offers for my hand; all of which she refused, under one
pretence or another--covering her designs against me by the mask of an
anxiety for my happiness; so that she was looked upon by all who were
acquainted with her as the best of stepmothers--the kindest protector of
youth. At length, her wishes were accomplished. A nephew of her own, by
her invitation, came to reside with us for a short time, upon a visit.
As if my good genius warned me of my fate, I disliked him so much at
first, that I felt unhappy in his presence; but his assiduities
gradually won upon me. I contrasted him with his aunt; love succeeded
to aversion; and I was ruined.'
Here a burst of tears for a time choked her utterance. After some time,
she resumed--