MARRIAGE AND TREATMENT OF THEIR WIVES.
There are many persons who believe, from the labour that they see the
Indian women perform, that they are in a manner treated as slaves.
These labours, indeed, are hard, compared with the tasks that are
imposed upon females in civilised society; but they are no more than
their fair share, under every consideration and due allowance, of
the hardships attendant on savage life. Therefore they are not only
voluntarily, but cheerfully submitted to; and as women are not obliged
to live with their husbands any longer than suits their pleasure or
convenience, it cannot be supposed that they would submit to be loaded
with unjust or unequal burdens.
Marriages among the Indians are not, as with us, contracted for
life; it is understood on both sides that the parties are not to
live together any longer than they shall be pleased with each other.
The husband may put away his wife whenever he pleases, and the woman
may in like manner abandon her husband. Therefore the connexion is
not attended with any vows, promises, or ceremonies of any kind. An
Indian takes a wife as it were on trial, determined, however, in his
own mind not to forsake her if she behaves well, and particularly if
he has children by her. The woman, sensible of this, does on her part
every thing in her power to please her husband, particularly if he is
a good hunter or trapper, capable of maintaining her by his skill and
industry, and protecting her by his strength and courage.
When a marriage takes place, the duties and labours incumbent on each
party are well known to both. It is understood that the husband is to
build a house for them to dwell in, to find the necessary implements
of husbandry, as axes, hoes, &c., to provide a canoe, and also dishes,
bowls, and other necessary vessels for house-keeping. The woman
generally has a kettle or two, and some other articles of kitchen
furniture, which she brings with her. The husband, as master of the
family, considers himself bound to support it by his bodily exertions,
as hunting, trapping, &c.; the woman, as his _help-mate_, takes upon
herself the labours of the field, and is far from considering them as
more important than those to which her husband is subjected, being
well satisfied that with his gun and traps he can maintain a family in
any place where game is to be found; nor do they think it any hardship
imposed upon them; for they themselves say, that while their field
labour employs them at most six weeks in the year, that of the men
continues the whole year round.
When a couple is newly married, the husband (without saying a single
word upon the subject) takes considerable pains to please his wife, and
by repeated proofs of his skill and abilities in the art of hunting,
to make her sensible that she can be happy with him, and that she will
never want while they live together. At break of day he will be off
with his gun, and often by breakfast time return home with a deer,
turkey, or some other game. He endeavours to make it appear that it
is in his power to bring provisions home whenever he pleases, and his
wife, proud of having such a good hunter for her husband, does her
utmost to serve and make herself agreeable to him.
The work of the women is not hard or difficult. They are both able and
willing to do it, and always perform it with cheerfulness. Mothers
teach their daughters those duties which common sense would otherwise
point out to them when grown up. Within doors, their labour is very
trifling; there is seldom more than one pot or kettle to attend to.
There is no scrubbing of the house, and but little to wash, and that
not often. Their principal occupations are to cut and fetch in the
fire wood, till the ground, sow and reap the grain, and pound the corn
in mortars for their pottage, and to make bread which they bake in
the ashes. When going on a journey, or to hunting camps with their
husbands, if they have no horses, they carry a pack on their backs
which often appears heavier than it really is; it generally consists of
a blanket, a dressed deer skin for mocksens, a few articles of kitchen
furniture, as a kettle, bowl, or dish, with spoons, and some bread,
corn, salt, &c., for their nourishment. I have never known an Indian
woman complain of the hardship of carrying this burden, which serves
for their own comfort and support as well as of their husbands.
The tilling of the ground at home, getting of the fire wood, and
pounding of corn in mortars, is frequently done by female parties,
much in the manner of those husking, quilting, and other _frolics_
(as they are called), which are so common in some parts of the United
States, particularly to the eastward. The labour is thus quickly and
easily performed; when it is over, and sometimes in intervals, they sit
down to enjoy themselves by feasting on some good victuals, prepared
for them by the person or family for whom they work, and which the
man has taken care to provide before hand from the woods; for this is
considered a principal part of the business, as there are generally
more or less of the females assembled who have not, perhaps for a
long time, tasted a morsel of meat, being either widows, or orphans,
or otherwise in straitened circumstances. Even the chat which passes
during their joint labours is highly diverting to them, and so they
seek to be employed in this way as long as they can, by going round to
all those in the village who have ground to till.
When the harvest is in, which generally happens by the end of
September, the women have little else to do than to prepare the daily
victuals, and get fire wood, until the latter end of February or
beginning of March, as the season is more or less backward, when they
go to their sugar camps, where they extract sugar from the maple tree.
The men having built or repaired their temporary cabin, and made all
the troughs of various sizes, the women commence making sugar, while
the men are looking out for meat, at this time generally fat bears,
which are still in their winter quarters. When at home, they will
occasionally assist their wives in gathering the sap, and watch the
kettles in their absence, that the syrup may not boil over.
A man who wishes his wife to be with him while he is out hunting in the
woods, needs only tell her, that on such a day they will go to such a
place, where he will hunt for a length of time, and she will be sure
to have provisions and every thing else that is necessary in complete
readiness, and well packed up to carry to the spot; for the man, as
soon as he enters the woods, has to be looking out and about for game,
and therefore cannot be encumbered with any burden; after wounding
a deer, he may have to pursue it for several miles, often running
it fairly down. The woman, therefore, takes charge of the baggage,
brings it to the place of encampment, and there, immediately enters
on the duties of housekeeping, as if they were at home; she moreover
takes pains to dry as much meat as she can, that none may be lost; she
carefully puts the tallow up, assists in drying the skins, gathers
as much wild hemp as possible for the purpose of making strings,
carrying-bands, bags and other necessary articles, collects roots for
dyeing; in short, does every thing in her power to leave no care to her
husband but the important one of providing meat for the family.
After all, the fatigue of the women is by no means to be compared to
that of the men. Their hard and difficult employments are periodical
and of short duration, while their husband’s labours are constant and
severe in the extreme. Were a man to take upon himself a part of his
wife’s duty, in addition to his own, he must necessarily sink under the
load, and of course his family must suffer with him. On his exertions
as a hunter, their existence depends; in order to be able to follow
that rough employment with success, he must keep his limbs as supple
as he can, he must avoid hard labour as much as possible, that his
joints may not become stiffened, and that he may preserve the necessary
strength and agility of body to enable him to pursue the chase, and
bear the unavoidable hardships attendant on it; for the fatigues of
hunting wear out the body and constitution far more than manual labour.
Neither creeks nor rivers, whether shallow or deep, frozen or free from
ice, must be an obstacle to the hunter, when in pursuit of a wounded
deer, bear, or other animal, as is often the case. Nor has he then
leisure to think on the state of his body, and to consider whether his
blood is not too much heated to plunge without danger into the cold
stream, since the game he is in pursuit of is running off from him with
full speed. Many dangerous accidents often befal him, both as a hunter
and a warrior (for he is both), and are seldom unattended with painful
consequences, such as rheumatism, or consumption of the lungs, for
which the sweat-house, on which they so much depend, and to which they
often resort for relief, especially after a fatiguing hunt or warlike
excursion, is not always a sure preservative or an effectual remedy.
The husband generally leaves the skins and peltry which he has procured
by hunting to the care of his wife, who sells or barters them away to
the best advantage for such necessaries as are wanted in the family;
not forgetting to supply her husband with what he stands in need of,
who, when he receives it from her hands never fails to return her
thanks in the kindest manner. If debts had been previously contracted,
either by the woman, or by her and her husband jointly, or if a horse
should be wanted, as much is laid aside as will be sufficient to pay
the debts or purchase the horse.
When a woman has got in her harvest of corn, it is considered as
belonging to her husband, who, if he has suffering friends, may give
them as much of it as he pleases, without consulting his wife, or being
afraid of her being displeased; for she is in the firm belief that he
is able to procure that article whenever it is wanted. The sugar which
she makes out of the maple tree is also considered as belonging to her
husband.
There is nothing in an Indian’s house or family without its particular
owner. Every individual knows what belongs to him, from the horse or
cow down to the dog, cat, kitten and little chicken. Parents make
presents to their children, and they in return to their parents. A
father will sometimes ask his wife or one of his children for the loan
of his horse to go out a hunting. For a litter of kittens or brood
of chickens, there are often as many different owners as there are
individual animals. In purchasing a hen with her brood, one frequently
has to deal for it with several children. Thus, while the principle of
community of goods prevails in the state, the rights of property are
acknowledged among the members of a family. This is attended with a
very good effect; for by this means every living creature is properly
taken care of. It also promotes liberality among the children, which
becomes a habit with them by the time they are grown up.
An Indian loves to see his wife well clothed, which is a proof that
he is fond of her; at least, it is so considered. While his wife is
bartering the skins and peltry he has taken in his hunt, he will seat
himself at some distance, to observe her choice, and how she and the
traders agree together. When she finds an article which she thinks will
suit or please her husband, she never fails to purchase it for him; she
tells him that it is _her_ choice, and he is never dissatisfied.
The more a man does for his wife the more he is esteemed, particularly
by the women, who will say: “This man surely loves his wife.” Some men
at their leisure hours make bowls and ladles, which, when finished, are
at their wives’ disposal.
If a sick or pregnant woman longs for any article of food, be it what
it may, and however difficult to be procured, the husband immediately
sets out to endeavour to get it. I have known a man to go forty or
fifty miles for a mess of cranberries to satisfy his wife’s longing. In
the year 1762 I was witness to a remarkable instance of the disposition
of Indians to indulge their wives. There was a famine in the land, and
a sick Indian woman expressed a great desire for a mess of Indian corn.
Her husband having heard that a trader at Lower Sandusky had a little,
set off on horseback for that place, one hundred miles distant, and
returned with as much corn as filled the crown of his hat, for which he
gave his horse in exchange, and came home on foot, bringing his saddle
back with him. Squirrels, ducks, and other like delicacies, when most
difficult to be obtained, are what women in the first stage of their
pregnancy generally long for. The husband in every such case will go
out and spare no pains nor trouble until he has procured what is wanted.
In other cases, the men and their wives do not in general trouble
themselves with each other’s business; but the wife, knowing that the
father is very fond of his children, is always prepared to tell him
some diverting anecdote of one or the other of them, especially if he
has been absent for some time.
It very seldom happens that a man condescends to quarrel with his wife,
or abuse her, though she has given him just cause. In such a case the
man, without replying, or saying a single word, will take his gun and
go into the woods, and remain there a week or perhaps a fortnight,
living on the meat he has killed, before he returns home again; well
knowing that he cannot inflict a greater punishment on his wife for
her conduct to him than by absenting himself for a while; for she is
not only kept in suspense, uncertain whether he will return again,
but is soon reported as a bad and quarrelsome woman; for, as on those
occasions, the man does not tell his wife on what day or at what time
he will be back again, which he otherwise, when they are on good terms,
never neglects to do, she is at once put to shame by her neighbours,
who soon suspecting something, do not fail to put such questions to
her, as she either cannot, or is ashamed to answer. When he at length
does return, she endeavours to let him see by her attentions, that she
has repented, though neither speak to each other a single word on the
subject of what has passed. And as his children, if he has any, will on
his return hang about him and soothe him with their caresses, he is, on
their account, ready to forgive, or at least to say nothing unpleasant
to their mother. She has, however, received by this a solemn warning,
and must take care how she behaves in future, lest the next time her
husband should stay away altogether and take another wife. It is very
probable, that if at this time they had had no children, he would have
left her, but then he would have taken his property with him at the
same time.
On the return of an Indian from a journey, or long absence, he will,
on entering the house, say, “I am returned!” to which his wife will
reply,[164] “I rejoice!” and having cast his eyes around, he will
enquire, whether all the children are well, when being answered in the
affirmative, he replies, “I am glad!” which for the present is all the
conversation that passes between them; nor does he relate anything at
this present time that occurred on his journey, but holds himself in
readiness to partake of the nourishment which his wife is preparing for
him. After a while, when the men of the village have assembled at his
house, his wife, with the rest, hears his story at full length.
_Marriages_ are proposed and concluded in different ways. The parents
on both sides, having observed an attachment between two young persons,
negotiate for them. This generally commences from the house where
the bridegroom lives, whose mother is the negotiatrix for him, and
begins her duties by taking a good leg of venison, or bear’s meat, or
something else of the same kind, to the house where the bride dwells,
not forgetting to mention, that her son has killed it: in return for
this the mother of the bride, if she otherwise approves of the match,
which she well understands by the presents to be intended, will prepare
a good dish of victuals, the produce of the labour of _woman_, such as
beans, Indian corn, or the like, and then taking it to the house where
the bridegroom lives, will say, “This is the produce of my daughter’s
field; and she also prepared it.” If afterwards the mothers of the
parties are enabled to tell the good news to each other, that the
young people have pronounced that which was sent them _very good_, the
bargain is struck. It is as much as if the young man had said to the
girl, “I am able to provide you at all times with meat to eat!” and
she had replied, “and such good victuals from the field, you shall
have from me!” From this time not only presents of this kind are
continued on both sides, but articles of clothing are presented to the
parents by each party, by way of return for what they have received,
of which the young people always have a share. The friendship between
the two families daily increasing, they do their domestic and field
work jointly, and when the young people have agreed to live together,
the parents supply them with necessaries, such as a kettle, dishes or
bowls, and also what is required for the kitchen, and with axes, hoes,
&c. to work in the field.
The men who have no parents to negotiate for them, or otherwise choose
to manage the matter for themselves, have two simple ways of attaining
their object. The first is: by stepping up to the woman whom they wish
to marry, saying: “If you are willing I will take you as wife!” when
if she answer in the affirmative, she either goes with him immediately,
or meets him at an appointed time and place.
The other mode of celebrating marriage will appear from the following
anecdote.
An aged Indian, who for many years had spent much of his time among
the white people, both in Pennsylvania and New Jersey, one day about
the year 1770 observed, that the Indians had not only a much easier
way of getting a wife than the whites, but were also more certain of
getting a _good_ one; “For,” (said he in his broken English,) “White
man court,--court,--may be one whole year!--may be two year before he
marry!--well!--may be then got _very good_ wife--but may be _not_!--may
be _very_ cross!--Well now, suppose cross! scold so soon as get awake
in the morning! scold all day! scold until sleep!--all one; he must
keep _him_![165] White people have law forbidding throwing away wife,
be _he_ ever so cross! must keep _him_ always! Well! how does Indian
do?--Indian when he see industrious Squaw, which he like, he go to
_him_, place his two forefingers close aside each other, make two look
like one--look Squaw in the face--see _him_ smile--which is all one
_he_ say, _Yes_! so he take _him_ home--no danger _he_ be cross! no!
no! Squaw know too well what Indian do if _he_ cross!--throw _him_ away
and take another! Squaw love to eat meat! no husband! no meat! Squaw
do every thing to please husband! he do the same to please Squaw! live
happy!”