Still in the hold--Conscience again troubles me--My new food and its
effect on my health--I picture to myself the crew on deck--Rather
warm--Another storm--My sufferings and despair--A cold bath--I lose my
stock of provisions--The rats desert me--The storm subsides--My fancy
gives itself rein.
Days, possibly weeks, may have passed by; I had no means of calculating
the time. The ordinary sounds from the deck did not reach my ear, or I
might have heard the bells strike, or the voice of the boatswain
summoning the watch below on deck. I scarcely like to describe this
part of my adventures, for fear that they should not be believed. I
have since read of similar accounts of young stowaways being shut down
in the hold of ships, but whether they were true or not I cannot say.
Perhaps they were written with the purpose of deterring boys running off
to sea. If so, they had a good object in view, for from my own
experience I can say that a more mad or foolish act a silly youth cannot
commit. A sailor's life is not without its attractions; but to enjoy it
he must have a good conscience, and be able to feel that he went to sea
with his parents' or friends' consent; and then when disaster occurs, he
has not bitterly to repent having acted contrary to their wishes. For
my own part I tried to persuade myself that I was an unwilling stowaway,
that I had only gone on board to take a look into the hold; but
conscience whispered to me over and over again, "You know you thought of
hiding yourself, and thus getting away to sea in spite of your Aunt Deb,
and the kind old gentleman who was ready to do what he considered best
for your advancement in life."
I tried to silence conscience by replying, "I didn't intend it, I should
never have actually concealed myself in the hold if I could have helped
it. I am simply an unfortunate individual, who is undergoing all this
suffering through no fault of his own. Though I had no wish to become a
merchant, I would, with all the contentment I could muster, have taken
my seat in Mr Butterfield's office, and done my duty to the best of my
ability."
Though I said this to myself over and over again, I found it more
convenient to satisfy conscience and to think only of the present. I
had plenty to do, much of my time being spent in endeavouring to catch
rats. I seldom killed more than one in a day, though occasionally I was
more successful. I ate them without the slightest disgust, taking some
of the pickles at the same time with a piece of biscuit, my dessert
consisting of three or four olives. I was afraid of exhausting my
supply, or I could have swallowed many more. The rats' flesh was
tolerably tender. I suspect that I generally caught the young ones, for
at length I caught one which must have been the father, or grandfather
for that matter, of the tribe, as he was so tough that it was only with
considerable difficulty I could masticate him. This food, however
unattractive according to the usual ideas, must be wholesome, for I kept
my health in an extraordinary manner. I was much indebted for this, I
believe, to the olives, which prevented my being attacked by that
horrible disease, scurvy. I was not aware at the time of its existence,
but I have since witnessed its horrible ravages among crews
insufficiently supplied with antiscorbutics, or who have neglected the
ordinary precautions against it.
I every day made excursions to try and effect my liberation. The crate
must have had something weighty on the top of it, I thought, or I should
have been able to force it open. It had hitherto resisted all my
efforts, though I frequently spent an hour within it.
The ship all this time was gliding on smoothly, and I supposed was
making a prosperous passage. I occasionally pictured to myself what was
going on over my head, canvas spread below and aloft, the ship under her
courses, topsails, topgallant sails and royals with studdingsails rigged
out on either side. The sea glittering in the rays of the sun, the sky
bright, the captain and officers walking the deck or reading in their
cabins. The crew lolling about with folded arms, smoking their pipes or
spinning yarns. I forgot that some of them would be employed in
spinning very different sorts of yarns to what I fancied, and that chief
mates are not apt to allow man to spend their time with their arms
folded, doing nothing. On and on sailed the ship. The atmosphere was
becoming sensibly warmer. I supposed that we should soon get into a
tropical climate, and that then I might find it disagreeably hot even
down below. But I didn't allow myself to think of the future, as I was
beginning to abandon all hope of working my way out.
My desire now was that the ship might reach a port in safety, and begin
to discharge her cargo; when I should have the chance of liberating
myself. I did not, however, abandon altogether my efforts, and the
exercise I thus took every day contributed to keep me in health. During
the time I was sitting down and not sleeping, I employed myself in
repeating all the English poetry and Latin speeches I had learnt, and
sometimes I even attempted to sing the sea songs of which I had been so
fond--"Cease, rude Boreas," "One night it blew a hurricane," "Come, all
ye jolly sailors bold," "Here a sheer hulk lies poor Tom Bowling," and
many others; but my voice was evidently not in singing trim, and I
failed to do what Orpheus might have accomplished, to charm the rats
from their hiding-places.
The sea continued calm for some time; at all events I felt no movement
to indicate that it was otherwise; but whether the ship was moving fast
or slowly I could not tell. I expected that she would continue her
steady progress to the end of the voyage. I had gone to sleep, and I
now generally slept on for eight or ten hours at a stretch, so I could
not say whether it was night or day. All was the same to me. Suddenly
I was awakened by a fearful uproar, and I found myself jerked off my
sleeping-place on to the hard boards. From the noises I heard I fancied
the ship must be going to pieces, or that the masts were falling. She
heeled over so much on one side it seemed impossible that the
water-butts could keep their positions, and I thought every instant I
should be crushed to death by the one on the weather side falling upon
me. A fearful storm was raging. My ears were deafened by the dashing
of the fierce waves, and the howling and whistling of the wind, which
reached me even down where I was; and by the incessant creaking of the
bulkheads. Crash succeeded crash; the whole cargo seemed to be tossed
about, now to one side now to the other. I could feel the ship rise to
the summit of a sea, and then plunge down again to the depths below. I
had hitherto retained my composure, but I now almost gave way to
despair. It seemed that the ship, stout as she was, would not be able
to survive the fierce contest in which she was engaged with the raging
elements. Not for a moment was she quiet; now she appeared to be
rolling as if she would roll the masts out of her, had they not already
gone; now she surged forward and went with a plunge into the sea, which
made her quiver from stem to stern. I thought that ribs and planks
could not possibly hold together. I expected every moment to be my
last. It would have been bad enough to have had to endure this on deck,
surrounded by my fellow-creatures--down in the dark hold it was
terrible.
I now wonder that my senses did not desert me, but matters had not yet
come to their worst. I dared not move, for fear of being dashed against
the casks. There I lay helpless and almost hopeless, while the violence
of the movements increased. I did not feel sick, as before. Terror
banished all other sensations. Suddenly I heard a loud crash close to
me, and I found myself nearly overwhelmed by a strong rush of water.
The instinct to live made me spring to my feet, for I should have been
drowned had I remained where I was. I fully believed that the side of
the ship had been forced in, and that before many seconds had passed I
and all on board would be carried down to the bottom of the sea. Still
I endeavoured to escape from the water, which in large masses came
rushing against me, though my efforts would have been utterly useless
had what I had supposed occurred. I made frantic efforts to escape out
of the way of the torrent, and endeavoured to reach the only opening I
was aware of by which I might escape if I could find egress to the upper
deck. In my hurry, not using the caution I had generally exercised, I
ran my head against a cask with so much force that I fell back senseless
on the kelson. There I lay unable to rise, and believing that the water
would soon cover me up and terminate my sufferings.
I was not altogether senseless; I should have been saved much
wretchedness and suffering had I been so. I continued to feel the
violent motion of the ship; to hear the uproar, the crashing of the
cargo, the casks and chests being hurled against each other. I expected
that the bulkhead near me, which had hitherto served as my protection,
would give way, and that some of the huge cases would be hurled down
upon me; but I had no strength to shriek out, and lay silent and
motionless. Suddenly the rush of water ceased, and I heard only a
little washing about beneath me. This surprised me greatly. I began to
recollect that it must have been impossible that the side of the ship
should have been smashed in, or the water would have continued entering
with as much force as at first. This idea made me fancy that matters
might not be so bad as I had at first supposed. By slow degrees I
recovered my courage. "The ship is not going to sink, I may yet
survive," I thought, and I got up to try and ascertain the cause of the
rush of water. I was not long in doing this. In groping my way about I
came upon one of the huge butts, which, from the large fracture I felt
in its side, had evidently burst and let out the whole of its contents.
It was fortunately not the water-cask from which I drew my supplies of
the necessary element, but I guessed that it would prove ultimately of
serious consequence to the crew, who would probably be depending on it
when their stock in the other part of the ship had been exhausted.
Still that at the time did not give me much concern. I was wet through,
bruised, and exceedingly uncomfortable. I feared, too, that as one butt
had given way, the others might before long follow its example, and that
I should then have no water on which to support my life. Having made
this discovery, I crept back to my sleeping-place.
As I had no other means of drying my clothes, I took them off and wrung
them out, then wrapped myself in the sail, which being in a higher
position had only been slightly wetted by the splash of the water.
Unpleasant as my life was, this altogether was the most miserable period
of my existence in the hold of the "Emu." I thought that the storm
would never end. Hour after hour the ship went plunging and rolling on,
every timber shaking and quaking, my heart beating I must confess in
sympathy. Regrets were useless. My only consolation now was that
should the ship in the meantime not founder or be driven on the rocks,
this state of things must come to an end.
I tried to forget where I was and what was happening and to bring my
senses into a state of stupor. I would willingly have gone to sleep,
but that seemed impossible. I was mistaken, however. After some time,
in spite of the violent movements and the terrific uproar, I began to
doze off, and an oblivion of all things, past and present, came over me.
It was sent in mercy, for I do not think I could otherwise have endured
my sufferings. When I awoke to the present matters had not improved, so
I endeavoured, and successfully, to go to sleep again. This occurred
several times. At last, in spite of my painful feelings, I found that I
had become very hungry, and to my surprise my clothes, which I had hung
up against the bulkhead on some nails stuck in the upper part, were very
nearly dry. I put them on, unwilling to be without garments should I be
discovered. I had no rats in store, so intended to make my meal off
biscuits and olives. I put my hand down to where I had stowed them,
when what was my dismay not to be able to find either the cask of
biscuits or the jars of olives and pickles. I felt about in all
directions, hoping that I had made a mistake as to their position. I
was at length convinced that they had gone.
I then recollected that the chief volume of water out of the butt must
have washed them away. Still they could not be far off. I lay down on
the kelson and felt about with my hand on every side. My search for a
moment was in vain. At last I picked up an olive, and then another. My
fear was that the jar was broken. What if the pickles and biscuits had
shared the same fate? That this was the case was too probable, and if
so my stock of provisions, would be spoiled, if not lost altogether.
After further search I came upon the jar broken in two. It was
especially strong, so that the bottle of pickles would have had no
chance of escaping. I had fortunately my handkerchief, and I managed to
pick up several olives, which I put into it. Creeping along I came at
last upon the pickle-bottle, and nearly cut my hand in feeling for it.
A few pickles were near it. I drew them out of the water which had
escaped from the butt. Their flavour I guessed would be gone and all
the vinegar which was so cooling and refreshing; but almost spoiled as
they were, I was glad to recover them. I found, however, scarcely a
fourth of the olives and pickles. The loss of the biscuits was the most
serious. They, if long in the water, would be mashed up into a pulp,
and perhaps dispersed throughout the bottom of the ship. The sooner I
could recover whatever remained the better. I ate three or four olives
and a piece of pickle to stay the gnawings of hunger, and went on with
my search.
The ship, it must be remembered, was all this time rolling to and fro.
I searched and searched, my hopes of recovering the biscuits in a form
fit to be eaten growing fainter and fainter; still I knew that the keg,
either entire or broken, must be somewhere within my prison-house, for
so I must call it. I stopped at last to consider in what direction it
could have been thrown. Perhaps being lighter and of larger bulk than
the other things, it might have been jerked farther off, and rolling
away got jammed in the casks or cases. My search proved to me that it
could not be close beneath the kelson; I therefore felt backwards and
forwards everywhere I could get my hand. I tried to recollect whether I
had, when last taking a biscuit out, fixed on the head tightly or not.
Having smashed it in, in order to broach the cask, it was not very easy
to do so, and I had an unpleasant feeling that I had put on the top only
sufficient to prevent the rats jumping down into the inside. If so, the
chance of the biscuits having escaped was small indeed.
At length I touched the cask, which had been thrown from one end of the
hold to the other. It was on its side. With trembling eagerness I put
in my hand. Alas! Only a few whole biscuits and a few broken ones
remained. These I transferred to my pocket-handkerchief with the olives
and pickles, for fear of losing them. The remainder must be somewhere
on the way. I tried back in a direct line, but could not find even a
mashed biscuit. I then recollected that the cask had probably been
jerked from side to side before it had found its last resting-place. It
was a wonder that any of its contents remained in it.
Without loss of time, I enlarged the field of my search, and picked up
several large pulpy masses which had once been biscuit. They were too
precious to be thrown away. I put them into the bottom of the cask. I
got back also several bits, which, though wet, had not lost their
consistency. I was grateful for them; for though they would not keep,
they would assist me to prolong existence for some few days. I ate some
of the pulp, and a couple of olives to enable me to digest it. The
other pieces of biscuit and the olives and pickles had been, I suppose,
washed away out of my reach, for I felt about in every direction, but
could lay my hands on nothing more. It may be supposed that the
exertions I had made were not very fatiguing, but it must be remembered
that the ship was tossing about all this time, and that I had to hold on
with one hand while I felt with the other, to prevent myself from being
jerked about and battered and bruised. As it was, I slipped and tumbled
several times, and hurt myself not a little. I therefore crawled back
to my couch, and rolled myself up in the sail, to go to sleep. I had
not for some time been annoyed by the rats, who I suspect sat quaking
and trembling in their nests as much alarmed as I was, and possibly more
so, and I was amused at thinking that they must have heartily regretted
having come to sea, and wished themselves safe back on shore in the
houses or barns from which they had emigrated. I hoped, however, that
when the storm was over they would come forth again, and give me the
opportunity of catching them. I expected that it would quickly cease,
but in this I was disappointed. There came a lull, and the ship did not
toss about as much as before. I was contemplating getting up and making
an excursion among the cargo, supposing that I might do so without much
risk, when I was again thrown off my couch by a sudden lurch; and from
the sounds I heard, and the violent pitching and rolling, I had good
reason to suppose that the hurricane was once more raging with redoubled
force. With the greatest difficulty I crawled back to my couch, and
drawing the canvas round me, tried to retain my position. Every minute
I imagined that one or the other water-butts would give way, and that I
should be either crushed by its falling on me, or half-drowned by its
contents. Then I thought what would be my fate should the fearful
buffeting the ship was receiving cause her to start a plank. The water
would rush in, and before I could possibly make my escape to a higher
level I should be drowned, even should the ship herself keep above
water, and that I thought was not very likely.
I had read enough about shipwrecks and disasters at sea to be aware that
such a circumstance sometimes occurs. The end of a plank called a butt
occasionally starts away from the timber to which it has been secured,
and the water pressing its way in, opens the plank more and more, till
the sea comes in like a mill-sluice; and unless the damage is at once
discovered, and a thrummed sail is got over the spot, there is little
chance of a ship escaping from foundering. When a butt starts from the
fore end, and she is going rapidly through the water, her destruction is
almost certain, as a plank is rapidly ripped off, and no means the crew
possess can prevent it. Though I had heard crashing noises which had
made me fear that the masts had been carried overboard, yet I judged
from the movement of the ship that they were standing. She was seldom
on an even keel, but when she heeled over it was always on one side. As
yet all the strain to which she had been subjected had produced no
leaks, as far as I could judge from the small quantity of water in the
hold, and that was chiefly what had come out of the butt. Had I not put
the remnants of the olives and biscuits in my pockets I should have
starved. When hunger pressed, I took a small portion, sufficient to
stop its gnawings. I suffered chiefly from thirst, as I was afraid of
getting up to go to the water-butt, lest I should be thrown over to the
opposite side after I had drawn out the spile, before I could catch any
water as it spouted out, and that much of it would be lost. I felt the
necessity of economising my store, for I so mainly depended on it for
existence, as it enabled me to subsist on a much smaller quantity of
food than I could have done without it. At length I could bear my
tortures no longer, but getting up, cautiously crawled towards the butt,
stopping to hold on directly I felt the ship beginning to give a lurch.
I must again observe, that close down to the keel as I was, I felt this
much less severely than I should have done at a higher level. I went
on, until I believed that I was close to the butt, then waiting for
another lurch. Directly it had taken place, I drew myself carefully up,
and searched about for the spile. I found it, and drew it out, and let
the water spout out into my mouth. How I enjoyed the draught. It
restored my strength and sadly flagging spirits. I stopped to breathe,
and then again applied my mouth to the hole. I should have been wiser
had I refrained, for before I could drive in the spile I was hove right
away to the opposite side of the hold, almost into the opening of the
water-butt which had burst. I could hear the water rushing out, and it
was some time before I could recover myself sufficiently to crawl back
to try and stop it. I was almost wet through before I could accomplish
this, though I had to mourn the loss of no small quantity of the
precious fluid. My purpose accomplished, I made my way back to my
couch. Hours passed by. Sometimes I would fancy that the storm was
never to end. In my disordered imagination, I pictured to myself the
ship, officers, and crew under some dreadful doom, destined to be tossed
about on the wide Atlantic for months and years, then perhaps to be
dismasted and lie floating motionless in the middle of the Sargasso Sea,
of which I had read, where the weeds collect, driven by the current
thrown off by the gulf-stream, till they attain sufficient thickness for
aquatic birds to walk over them.
I remembered the description that Mr Butterfield had given me of the
captain of the "Emu." I thought, perhaps, that he had committed some
dreadful crime, and was being thus punished for it. The only one of the
crew whom I remembered, Gregory Growles, was certainly a bad specimen of
humanity. Perhaps, though pretending to be honest traders, they were
pirates; and even when I had obtained my liberty they would not scruple
to make me walk the plank, should my presence be inconvenient. I
cannot, however, describe the hundred-and-one gloomy ideas which I
conjured up. How far they were from the truth time only was to show.
The ship continued her eccentric proceedings with more or less violence.
The tempest roared above my head. Crashing sounds still rose from the
cargo which had shifted, and which it appeared to me must ere long be
smashed to atoms. The worst of the matter was, that I had no one to
blame but myself. Had I been seized and shut up in the hold by a savage
captain, I should have felt myself like a martyr, and been able to lay
my sufferings on others. When I was able to reflect more calmly on my
situation, I remembered that the storm must inevitably some day or other
come to an end. I had read of storms lasting a week, or even a
fortnight, and sometimes longer, but if I could hold out to its
termination, as by means of the biscuits and olives I might do, I hoped
that I should at last effect my liberation. I must not, however, take
up more time by further describing the incidents of this memorable
portion of my existence.