BREAKFAST IN THE OLD HOMESTEAD.
Nelson Thrasher could not sleep under his father's roof. The neat, high
posted bed, with its blue and white coverlet that he had slept under in
boyhood, was so familiar that it seemed to reproach him in its
homeliness for the great change that had fallen on himself. The little
looking-glass over the cherry-wood dressing stand, flashed upon him like
a human eye angry and fierce at the intrusion of a guilty man where an
innocent boy had slept. As his foot touched the rag carpet, worn smooth
by his light tread, years ago, the breath paused on his lips, and the
stern face softened into sadness so deep, that his worst enemy might
have pitied him.
That instant the old man's voice rose solemnly through the stillness of
the night. From the depths of his heart, he was thanking God that his
son had returned. Every word of that prayer rose to the son, rebuking
him to the soul. He fell upon his knees, unconsciously occupying the
very spot on which his first prayer had been learned from his mother's
lips. Bitter repentance swept over him for the minute, and covering his
face with both hands, he cried like a child.
But such feelings could not hold that stern nature long. When the old
man ceased, Thrasher shook the tears from his eyes, and stood up,
turning his face away from the glass, hating that it should reflect the
workings of which he was even then ashamed. It was useless; the familiar
things around him were full of associations that would make themselves
felt. He put out the candle, and got into bed, his eyes filling in the
darkness as he lifted the coverlet.
Still he could not sleep. The dear old objects were all shut out, but
the home feeling was too strong. For that one hour he was almost a good
man.
As he lay in the darkness, a soft tread came on the stairs, and the door
of his room swung open. He knew all about it. The footsteps were his
mother's. How often he had heard them, in childhood, coming up, because
the kind woman fancied that he might be afraid, or ill, or that the
coverlet had slipped from over him. Just as of old, she glided through
the door and close to the bed. He feigned sleep, that she might not
guess how much he had been acting like a child. She stood beside him,
full of motherly tenderness, yearning for a few last words before she
went to rest; but with gentle self-command, waiting for some sign that
he was awake. When she found that his eyes were closed and his breath
came evenly, she bent down and kissed him on the forehead more than
once, whispering his name to herself, as she had done a thousand times
over his cradle.
Still he did not move; the kiss stole like an angel's whisper through
his heart. For the moment, it sanctified him, even in his own eyes. This
did not appear to awake him, and the mother could attempt no more. Still
she lingered, settled his pillow, delicately as a bird smoothes the
plumage of its young, and tucked up the bed, blessing him the while. It
was not chilly, but the action put her in mind of old times, and she
loved it.
At last that gentle mother glided out of the room, and he drew a deep
breath, longing to call her back, confess how far he had gone astray,
and become as a little child again.
The night wore on, and he had not slept a moment. Many thoughts came
crowding over the holy ones that possessed him, and finally overpowered
them. He thought of Mrs. Mason--his first, his only love--for this truth
he confessed to himself over and over again, in the stillness of that
night, when the difficulties of his position crowded close upon him. He
thought of Katharine Allen, not with solicitude, such as the poor
creature's fate should have inspired, but bitterly, harshly, for she was
a stumbling-block in his way, an object almost of dislike. Though a
cruel man, Thrasher was not recklessly so to women--thoughts of his
mother always kept him from that. Still, he almost cursed Katharine in
the struggles of that night, for she stood between him and the great
desire of his life--John Mason's widow. But for her, he could make a
brief wooing, settle down by his old parents, and without temptations to
evil courses, become a man of power, for he possessed that which enabled
him to accomplish almost every thing, an unlimited control of wealth.
But with this young creature in the way, what could he do but plunge
into schemes that brought sin and peril with them, such as he shrunk
from encountering. Abandon his father and mother--go off to some unknown
country with the woman of his love--cast off all duties--leave that
beautiful girl to die of grief--could he do that?
Thus the good angels and the evil spirits struggled over that man all
night long. In the morning, neither had the mastery. On ship-board, the
guardian angel would have been driven forth at once; but under his
father's roof, there was something of heaven which would not let the
seraph go.
After daylight the young man fell asleep, weary with thoughts that still
left their shadows on his forehead. The mother came up twice to call
him, but seeing the weariness in his handsome face, went away, holding
her breath, and walking on tiptoe.
At last he came down-stairs, and found the old people, with the table
spread and the breakfast dishes standing on the hearth, patiently
waiting till he should join them.
It was of no use struggling. Over a breakfast table like that the good
angels held control; nothing worse could hover near those blessed old
people upon their own hearth-stone. There every thing spoke of the old
time--the round table, covered with bird's-eye linen, homemade, glossy
as a snow crust, and as white. The same sprigged china and quaint
teaspoons. The silver teapot--old-fashioned even then--had been brought
out for the first time in years, and stood emitting dainty puffs of
steam between the andirons. The old lady looked at her son and at the
teapot with conscious smiles, which said plainly as smiles could speak,
"You see that I keep nothing back when my son comes home, not even
that!"
Thrasher smiled as he gathered in this picture. It was the smile of a
stern character, and changed his whole face. Rare must be the smile
which makes a human heart leap. You never heed perpetual sunshine, but
that which flashes through clouds makes itself felt and remembered.
"How much he looks like his father now," thought the mother, while the
old man held out his hand, and grasped that of his son with a hearty
"good-morning."
"Son," said the old lady, as she took up the teapot, with a little
flutter, like that of a bird pluming itself, "now that we are all
together--the whole family, you know--supposing we sit down at once.
Your father usually goes to prayers before breakfast, Nelson, but we'll
just put it off till afterward--don't you think so, husband?"
A strong sense of duty alone kept the old man from saying yes, at once;
but he wasn't to be led into temptation by the fond designs of that
precious little woman, not he; nor by the fear that his son would rather
not. Morning prayers didn't happen to be duties so lightly disposed of,
in his estimation. He motioned the old lady to leave the breakfast where
it was, on the hearth, and taking the great Bible from its stand, began
to read with solemn deliberation.
Thrasher liked this; had his father varied in any thing from the steady
goodness of his character, it would have been a sad disappointment to
the son; for such persons are generally the most keen-sighted in
detecting the weakness of good men. Besides, there is something holy in
the religious associations of an early home, which no man or woman can
see disturbed without pain.
I am afraid that the old man, in compunction for a momentary impulse to
yield, made his prayer a little longer than usual, and dwelt elaborately
on that point which asked deliverance from temptation. Certain it is,
that according to the habit of the times, he spoke of himself as a
hardened sinner, and confessed to shortcomings and taints of original
depravity that must have made the recording angel--who had set down
nothing but good deeds to his account for many a long year--smile in
benign patience.
Once, as the good Christian gave signs of prolonging his devotions, the
old lady turned softly on her knees and pushed the dish, which contained
a choice delicacy for her son, close to the fire; but she blushed in the
act, and covering her face the instant it was accomplished, whispered
"amen" at the end of a sonorous sentence in which her husband
acknowledged the native depravity of every soul within the created
world.
Still Nelson Thrasher was not impatient. Every word of the old man's
voice thrilled him through and through. It would have taken something
more than that to upheave the stern selfishness of his character to any
purpose; but many a good feeling rose to the surface which, for the
time, made him a better man.
They sat down to breakfast at last, and a right hearty New England
breakfast it was. The old man talked pleasantly on every subject that
came up. He possessed a clear, energetic mind, and had read a great deal
more than was common to his class. His intelligence was active to seize
on any food that presented itself, and his son's adventures by sea and
land, were as exciting as a romance; not that old Mr. Thrasher knew what
a romance was, or would have allowed one to enter his door if he had.
Indeed, the Pilgrim's Progress had disturbed his mind a good deal from
the fact that it was not an actual, instead of an ideal truth. As a
great many conscientious people condemn the theatre, but fill the boxes
of an opera, every night, this old-fashioned Christian listened to his
son's spoken romances with infinite zest. They appealed keenly to his
imagination, which found little aliment in any book he read, except when
it seized upon the grandest of all poetry--that of the Bible.
So the father asked questions, the son answered them pleasantly, and
that dear old lady sat smiling upon them both from behind her silver
teapot; convinced from the depths of her heart that she was the happiest
and most good-for-nothing old mother that ever drew the breath of life,
and ought to be ashamed of herself for not deserving all this joy more
thoroughly.
After breakfast, Thrasher took his hat, and prepared to go out. The old
gentleman, in the innocence of his heart, proposed to accompany him, but
Mrs. Thrasher began to nod and signalize him across the table, and he
sat down rather bewildered.
"Don't you see," said the old lady, with a sweet, knowing smile, "Nelson
is sure to find his way down to Mrs. Allen's--he must have loved us very
much to come by without stopping last night. I shouldn't wonder if that
girl kept him at home?"
"You don't say so!" exclaimed the father, in blank astonishment; "well,
I never thought of that."
"Why, don't you remember how often he used to go there the time he came
home before this, and how he went to York State to see her when she was
out there with her uncle that winter, going to school."
"Well, wife, I shouldn't wonder if there was something in it," said the
old man, going to the window and looking after his son.
The mother emitted a low, mellow laugh; she was rather proud of her
quicker penetration, and patronized the old gentleman accordingly.
"Why of course there's something in it," she said, nestling herself up
to his side, and putting a lock of gray hair back from his temples with
her finger. "He'll hang round her a little while--go down the hill two
or three times a day likely, while we don't seem to know any thing about
it--and then think he's surprising us, when he says that he's going to
marry Katharine Allen, if we've no objections. Of course we shan't have
any--for she's a nice girl and handsome as a picture. Then there'll be a
wedding down yonder. You'll buy the wine, and I'll find the cake. Mrs.
Allen has got lots of homespun, and Nelson won't want much for a setting
out, for this house isn't badly off for furniture, and I've been
thinking of a new cherry-tree chest of drawers some time."
The old man laughed pleasantly.
"My wife, you've got them married and to housekeeping before he's
crossed the top of the hill."
"But wouldn't it be nice? She's a smart girl, and might take a great
deal of care off me. As for Nelson, if he once took to farming what a
hand he would make at it!"
"And you believe all this?"
"Why shouldn't I? there's nothing unnatural about it, nor wrong
either--besides I am sure Katharine likes him."
"Well, wife, any thing that keeps the boy at home will satisfy me.
Marriage is an institution of the Lord, and no good man should say a
word against it."
"Of course not, for that would be to slander our own youth. See, there
is Nelson now, looking down toward Mrs. Allen's house. That's him under
the but'nut tree. He's just stepped on the rock--you remember it. I
wonder what he's flirting out his silk handkerchief for?"
"It's to scare off the crows, I reckon," answered the father, watching
the movements of his son with some curiosity, "they're greater pests
than ever, this year."
"No," said the old lady, "it's more than that. See, something moves on
the other side of the stone wall. It's a woman--she's climbing over. Why
don't he help her, I wonder? Yes, just as I thought, it is Katharine
Allen. What do you say to that?"
"Well," answered the old man, flushing around the temples. "I say it
isn't likely the young folks think that we are spying after them. If
they want to have a talk by themselves, I'm sure we've no objections.
You and I have been but'nutting together in our lives, haven't we?"
I am not sure that the old man did not kiss the face that was lifted
smilingly to his. There was no one by, and he was so very happy all the
morning--who could wonder at it? The old lady, at any rate, made no ado
about the matter, but nestled a little closer to his side, and asked "if
he saw Nelson and Katharine yet?"
"They are sitting on the rock together, wife, talking, no doubt; but we
must not be watching them. Young folks don't like that, you know."
"Well, only just say that you think there's something in it, and I won't
turn my eyes that way again; though it's a trial for a mother not to
look on her son anywhere, after he has been away from home so long."
The father himself seemed to feel that it was a hardship, for, after
walking across the room once or twice, he came back to the window where
his wife still remained.
"See, husband, how Katharine jumps up and seems to be wringing her
hands. What can ail her?"
"Maybe Nelson is telling her about leaving her half-brother on the
wreck; that is enough to make the poor girl wring her hands--as for Mrs.
Allen, nothing but the grace of God can carry her through this trouble.
She hasn't seen her son for years, and was just expecting him home."
"Supposing I go right down and comfort her," whispered the good woman,
her heart full of tender pity. "Or would she rather be left alone, I
wonder?"
"Wait till the first grief goes off; after that, company may do her
good."
"Poor girl, how she takes on, while Nelson sits there as if nothing was
the matter. No, no, I am wrong; he's taken hold of her hands. He's
talking to her--how kind of him. See, Katharine is quieter already. She
sits down again; I know well enough, if any thing on earth could pacify
her, he could. The dear boy!"