My Dear Father:
Let me resume the interesting subject of which my letters have been so
full.
It is now eight weeks since our return from Gilgal. For five weeks
after we reached Jerusalem, we heard nothing of Jesus, until John, son
of Elisaph, reappeared. He and Lazarus came into the city together, and
to the house of Rabbi Amos. Our first inquiry was:
"Have you seen him? Have you heard anything from him?"
"John has seen him," answered Lazarus, seriously. "Ask him, and he will
tell you all."
We looked at John, who sat sad and pensive, as if he were dwelling in
his mind upon some painful, yet tender, sorrow. The eyes of my Cousin
Mary, which always caught their lustre from his, were shaded with an
inquiring look of sympathy and solicitude.
"You are not well, I fear," she said, placing her fair hand upon his
white brow, and putting back the hair from his temples. "You have been
long away, and are weary and ill."
"Weary, Mary? I shall never complain of weariness again, after what I
have beheld."
"What have you seen?" I asked.
"Jesus in the desert; and when I remember him there, I shall forget to
smile more."
"You have found him, then?" I eagerly asked.
"Yes, after days of painful search. I found him in the very center of
the Desert of Ashes, where foot of man had never trodden before. I saw
him upon his knees, and heard his voice in prayer. I laid down the sack
of bread and fishes and the skin of water I had brought with me to
succor him, and with awe drew near where he stood.
"As I came closer to him, I heard him groan in spirit, and he seemed to
be borne down to the earth by some mortal agony. He was, as it were,
talking to some invisible evil beings who assailed him.
"'Rabbi, good Master,' I said, 'I have brought thee food and water.
Pardon me if I have intruded upon thy awful loneliness, which is sacred
to some deep grief; but I weep with thee for thy woes, and in all thy
afflictions I am afflicted. Eat, that thou mayest have strength to
endure thy mysterious sufferings.'
"He turned his pale countenance full upon me, and extended towards me
his emaciated hands, while he smiled faintly, and blessed me and said:
"'Son, thou art very dear to me. Thou shalt one day be afflicted for
me, but not now, and then understand wherefore I am now a sufferer in
the desert.'
"'Let me remain with thee, Divine Messias,' I said.
"'Thou believest, then, that I am he?' he answered, regarding me with
love.
"I replied by casting myself at his desert-parched feet, and bathing
them with my tears. He raised me and said, 'Go thy way presently. When
the time of my fasting and temptation is past, I will see thee again.'
"'Nay, I will not leave thee,' I asserted.
"'If thou lovest me, beloved, thou wilt obey me,' he answered, with a
tone of gentle reproof.
"'But thou wilt first eat of the bread I have brought, and drink of the
water,' I entreated.
"'Thou knowest not what temptation thou art offering to me,' he
replied, sadly. 'Thou hast not enough for thine own needs. Go, and
leave me to gain the victory over Satan, the prince of this world, for
which I was led by the Spirit thither.'
"I once more cast myself at his feet, and he lifted me up, kissing me,
and sent me away. Oh, you would not have known him! Worn and emaciated
by long abstinence, weak through suffering, he looked but the shadow of
himself. He could not have lived thus if there had not been a divine
power within to sustain him! His existence so long, for he had been in
the desert five weeks without food when I found him, was a miracle in
itself, proving the power of God to be in him."
"For what mighty work among men is God preparing him?" said Rabbi Amos,
with emotion. "Surely he is a prophet come from God."
"Think you he still lives?" I asked, with anxious fears, scarcely
trusting my voice above a whisper.
"Yes," answered John. "I am come to tell you he was divinely sustained
through all; and after forty days he came forth from the wilderness,
and suddenly presented himself on the banks of Jordan, among John's
disciples. I was standing near the Baptizer, discoursing of the Christ,
and marvelling when his exile to the desert would terminate, when the
prophet, lifting his eyes, cried with a loud voice full of joy:
"'Behold again the Lamb of God, upon whom the Spirit of God descended!
He hath come from the furnace like gold seven times tried in the fire!
He it is who alone taketh away the sins of the world!'
"I turned and beheld Jesus advancing. He was pale and wore an
expression of gentle, uncomplaining suffering on his benign and
spiritualized countenance. I hastened to meet him, and was kneeling in
joy at his feet, when he embraced me as a brother and said, 'Faithful,
and full of love, wilt thou follow me?'
"'I will nevermore leave thee,' I answered.
"'Where dwellest thou, divine Master?' then asked one of John's
disciples, Andrew by name, who was with me.
"'Come, my friends, and see,' he answered; and we went after him with
joy unutterable.
"He entered the village of Bethabara, and, approaching the house of a
widow, where he abode, went in. We followed him, and by his request
took up our abode with him. Oh, how shall I be able to make known by
words," added John, "the sweet expression of his discourse! In one day
in his presence I grew wise; his words filled the soul like new wine
and made the heart glad. The next day he wished to go into Galilee, and
so on to Nazareth, where his mother dwelleth; and as I have made up my
mind to follow him as his disciple henceforth, I have only come hither
to make known my purpose to Mary, and to arrange my affairs in the
city. To-morrow I will leave again, to join this, my dear Lord, at Cana
of Galilee."
"Canst thou divine at all his purpose?" asked Rabbi Amos of John,
"whether he intends to found a school of wisdom, to preach like the
prophets, to reign like David, or to conquer like his warrior namesake,
Joshua?"
"I know not, save that he said he came to redeem that which was lost,
and to establish a kingdom that shall have no end."
Upon hearing this, all our hearts bounded with hope and confidence in
him, and we all together burst forth into a voice of thanksgiving, and
sang this hymn of praise:
"O sing unto the Lord a new song. He hath done marvelous things; his
right hand and his holy arm hath gotten the victory.
"The Lord hath made known his salvation; his righteousness hath he
openly shewed in the sight of the heathen.
"He hath remembered his mercy and his truth towards the house of
Israel; all the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God."
There was this morning, dear father, no little excitement produced
among the chief priests by a formal inquiry sent by Pilate to
Caiaphas, the High Priest, asking whether this new prophet was to be
acknowledged by them as their Messiah, "for, if he is to be, it will
be my duty," said the Governor, "to place him under arrest, inasmuch
as we understand the Jewish Messias is to declare himself king."
Upon this there was a tumultuous assembling together of the priests
in the porch of the Temple, and with many invectives they agreed to
send answer to Pilate that they did not acknowledge Jesus of Nazareth
to be the Christ. What Pilate will conclude to do, I know not. Rabbi
Amos informed us that the Procurator had got some news by courier that
morning that Jesus, on his way to Cana, had been followed by a full
thousand people, who hailed him as the Christ.
Thus you see, my dear father, that this divine person is already taking
hold of the hearts of the people, and arousing the jealousy of our
enemies. Be assured that the day will come when he will lift up his
standard to the Gentiles, and draw all men unto him.
Your loving,
Adina.