CHAPTER XIV

The days which succeeded that night’s adventure were placid. Carmel

awoke in the morning as one awakes after a singularly realistic dream.

It was a dream to her, unreal, impossible. She could not imagine

herself doing what she had done; in short, she knew she had never done

it. That she should have let off a firearm at human beings was an act

so impossible as to make it seem laughable.

She went to the office with apprehension. What would happen? How would

Gibeon receive the news? Her apprehensions were needless. Gibeon

received the news apathetically. In the first place, the town did

not know exactly what had happened and was inclined to place little

credence in rumors. Most of it strolled past the office before noon,

seeking with wary eye for evidences of the war, and finding none. A

scanty few passed through the door to speak with Carmel about it.

Apparently Gibeon was not interested.

Somehow this hurt Carmel’s pride. Girl-like, she felt herself to be

something of a heroine, and wanted folks to recognize her eminence. But

even her own staff seemed not to take that view of the matter. Tubal

was sullen; Simmy was silent and frightened; Evan Bartholomew Pell

failed to revert to the matter at all. He had retired more deeply than

ever within his shell of pedanticism, and his supercilious air was more

irritating than ever before. Carmel was hurt.

She did not know how shaken Evan Pell was, nor the effect upon him of

his discovery that a woman could be of such importance in his life as

he found Carmel to be. With women he had no dealings and no experience.

They had been negligible in his life, existing only academically, so to

speak. Women and fossil specimens and remnants of ancient civilizations

and flora and fauna had occupied somewhat similar positions in his

experience, with women in the least interesting position. He did not

know them as human beings at all. They had never troubled him in the

least. Nothing had ever troubled him greatly. He had always considered

them in the mass, as a genus, to be studied, perhaps, as all created

things should be studied. But never until Carmel’s advent had he

entertained the idea that one of them might become personally important

to him. Evan would have been no more astonished to find himself

involved with a diplodocus than he now was to discover his throbbing

personal interest in an individual woman.

He was angry with Carmel. Somehow she had done something to him. He was

affronted. He had been taken advantage of, and now he was considering

what action to take. Decidedly Carmel must be put in her place,

once for all, and the disagreeable situation with all its dreadful

possibilities must be terminated with finality.

Evan turned in his chair and felt for his glasses, which were absent.

“Miss Lee,” he said, in his most pedagogical voice, “may I have your

attention briefly?”

Carmel faced him with some trepidation.

“Last night,” he said, “moved by an excitement to which I fancied

myself immune, certain words were surprised from me.”

“I don’t remember,” Carmel said, weakly.

“Pardon me,” he said, “you _do_ remember. Your manner toward me assures

me of your complete recollection.”

“Indeed!”

“However, in order to avoid misapprehensions I shall refresh your

memory. My words, and I remember them exactly, were as follows: ‘I

believe I’ve fallen in love with you.’”

“Oh, _that_,” said Carmel, as if the matter were of no moment.

“That.... Exactly. Er--your physical peril aroused in me an excitement

and apprehension most distasteful to me. I have been puzzled for some

time with respect to yourself and the strange effect your presence has

upon me. The matter became clear last night. I said I believed I was in

love with you. That was inaccurate. I _knew_ I was in love with you.”

“But----” Carmel began. Evan held up his hand as to an interruption in

a classroom.

“If you please.... I discovered a fact, and one must deal with facts.

I slept little last night for considering this one. I have reached a

definite and final conclusion, and wish the matter to be understood

between us once for all, and so disposed of.”

“Mr. Pell----” Again he imposed silence upon her.

“I am unable to perceive how this distressing condition came into

being. It was wholly without intention on my part--against my every

instinct. I do not wish to be in love with you.”

“Indeed!” said Carmel.

“Quite the contrary. Therefore I wish to impress upon you that nothing

can come of it.”

“And do you suppose----” Once again Carmel essayed to speak; once more

he interrupted.

“Be so good as to allow me to finish. Please understand my words to be

final. I will not marry you. In no circumstances will I make you my

wife. I do not want a wife.... It is no fault of mine that I am in love

with you, and therefore I shall not permit myself to suffer for what I

cannot help. I shall take measures to affect a cure, for the thing, as

I see it, is a species of mental ailment.... Therefore, let me repeat,

in spite of the condition in which I find myself, you need not expect

me to become your husband.... The matter is closed between us.”

He turned from her abruptly and became much occupied with the papers

upon his desk.

As for Carmel, she was in a state of mind. The thing manifestly was an

outrage, an indignity, a humiliation, and she was angry. On the other

hand, it was absurd, impossibly absurd, inhumanly absurd, and the

laughter which struggled to come was only repressed by a wave of pity.

The pity engulfed both anger and laughter. Poor, dryly crackling man!

What must his life be without human warmth and human emotions! She was

able to see the thing impersonally--the dreadful abnormality of his

existence, so that when she spoke it was without rancor and gently.

“Mr. Pell,” she said, “you need have no apprehensions. I do not wish to

marry you. I am very, very sorry if you have fallen in love with me....

And I cannot tell you how sorry I am for you.”

“For me?” he said, bristling.

“For you. You are the most pathetic man I have ever known.”

“Pathetic!”

She nodded. “I have no experience with life,” she said, gently, “but

certain knowledge is born in most of us. We know that life--real

life--consists only of suffering and happiness. All other things are

only incidents. All the good in life is derived either from sorrow or

joy. If you pass through life without experiencing either, you have not

lived. And, Mr. Pell, the greatest source of grief and of happiness is

love. I do not know how I know this, but you may take it as the truth.

I have never loved, but if I felt I never should love, I think I should

despair. I want to love some man, to give him my life, to make him my

life. I want him to be my world.”

“It is useless to argue,” said Evan Pell.

Carmel flamed.

“Argue!” she said. “Mr. Pell, let me tell you this, and as you said to

me a moment ago, it is final. If you and I were the sole survivors upon

the earth, I could do nothing but pity you. I am not sure I could do

that. You are abnormal, and the abnormal is repulsive.... You rather

fancy yourself. You are all ego. Please try to believe that you are of

no importance to anybody. You are negligible. Whether you live or die

can be of no importance to any living creature.... You are accustomed

to look down upon those who surround you. Don’t you see how people look

down upon you? You think yourself superior. That is absurd. You are

nothing but a dry running little machine, which can go out of order

and be thrown upon the junk pile at any time without causing the least

annoyance to anybody. Why, Mr. Pell, if you should die to-night, who

would care? What difference would it make? What do you contribute to

this world to make you of value to it?”

He had turned and was regarding her with grave interest. Manifestly her

words did not humiliate nor anger him, but they interested him as an

argument, a statement of a point of view.

“Go on, please,” he said. “Elucidate.”

“Only those who give something to the world are important to the world.

What do you give? What have you ever given? You have studied. You are

so crammed with dry knowledge that you crackle like parchment. What

good does it do anybody? What good does it do you? Did you ever help

a living creature with your knowledge? I cannot imagine it. You study

for the sake of increasing your own store, not with the hope of being

able to use all your knowledge to do something for the world. You are

a miser. You fill your mind with all sorts of things, and keep them

there. It is utterly selfish, utterly useless. Think of the great men

whose work you study, the great thinkers and scientists of all ages.

Why did they work? Was it to hoard knowledge or to give it to the world

in order that the world might live more easily or more happily? They

are important because they were useful. You--Why, Mr. Pell, you are the

most conspicuously useless human being I have ever encountered.”

He regarded her a moment before speaking. “Is your thesis complete?” he

asked, gravely.

“It is.”

“I shall give it my best consideration,” he said, and turned again to

his work.

It was not easy for Carmel again to concentrate upon the books of the

_Free Press_, which, with only a limited knowledge of the bewildering

science of bookkeeping, she was examining. Bookkeeping is a science.

It is the science of translating simple financial facts into abstruse

cipher in order that nobody may understand them except an individual

highly trained in cabalistics. The reason for this is clear. It is a

conspiracy among bookkeepers to make bookkeepers necessary and thus to

afford themselves with a means of livelihood.... Carmel was reading

the cipher in order to determine if the _Free Press_ were in worse or

better case for her ownership of it.

Love and bookkeeping are subjects which do not blend, for, as anybody

knows, love is not an exact science. Also it is a characteristic that

love meddles with everything and blends with nothing. It is intensely

self-centered and jealous. Therefore, as may be supposed, Carmel had

difficulty in arriving at conclusions.

An ordinary declaration of love must be somewhat upsetting, even to

the most phlegmatic. A declaration such as Evan Pell had just uttered

would have disturbed the serenity of a plaster-of-Paris Venus of Milo.

Carmel wished to compare circulation figures; what she actually did was

to compare Evan’s declaration with the declaration of love of which

she, in common with every other girl, had visualized in her dreams.

It would be idle to state that Carmel had never considered Evan as a

possible husband. It is doubtful if any unmarried woman ever encounters

an available man without considering him as a possible husband--or if

any married woman, no matter how virtuous, ever passes an hour in the

society of a gentleman without asking herself if this is the individual

with whom she may have the great love affair of her life. Love, being

the chief business of all women from six to sixty, this is natural and

proper.

Here was a variant of the common situation. Carmel was informed she was

loved, but that she need expect nothing to come of it. No woman could

like that. It was a challenge. It was an affront. A gage of battle

had been cast, and it is to be doubted if there is a woman alive who

would not feel the necessity of making Evan alter his views. Carmel did

not want him in the least. Quite the contrary; but, now he had spoken

his mind so brusquely, she would never be able to live in ease until

he came to want her very much and wore his knees threadbare begging

for her. This was wholly subconscious. Carmel did not know it, but,

nevertheless, she had determined to make Evan Pell pay fully in the

coin of the transaction for the damage done by his ineptitude.

With part of her mind on the figures and the rest on Evan Pell, she

arrived at certain information. Unquestionably the _Free Press_ had

been gaining in circulation. That much she had accomplished. Her policy

of reckless disclosure could have no other result, and therefore it

must have been good journalism. As for advertising patronage--there,

too, she had made progress. Her personal solicitation brought in some

few new advertisers and resulted in old patrons enlarging somewhat

their space. Also she had taken some business from Litchfield, the

largest adjoining town, and, on a visit to the near-by city, she had

induced a department store to use half a page weekly. How much of

this she could hold was a problem. It became more of a problem within

the hour, when no less than three of her patrons called by telephone

to cancel. The Busy Big Store canceled a full page which Carmel had

labored hard to get; Lancelot Bangs, photographer, and Smith Brothers’

grocery ceased to be assets--and no one of them assigned a reason. It

worried her to such an extent that she dropped her work and went to see

about it.

Her first call was upon the proprietor of the Busy Big Store. This

gentleman was embarrassed, and consequently inclined to bluster, but

Carmel, being a persistent young person, cross-examined him ruthlessly.

“I got to borrow from the bank,” he said, finally. “No merchant kin

git along without accommodation. Bank says I’m wastin’ too much money

advertisin’, and it can’t back me if I keep on.”

“So you take orders from the bank?” she asked, hotly, out of her

inexperience.

“You kin bet your bottom dollar I do,” he said.

Carmel bit her lip. “Abner Fownes is a stockholder in the bank, isn’t

he?”

“One of the biggest.”

Carmel turned away and left the store. She had run down her fact.

No more was necessary. She knew why merchants were canceling their

contracts with her--it was because Abner Fownes issued orders to do

so. For the first time he showed his hand in overt act. The question

now was: How many merchants in Gibeon could Abner Fownes control? How

long could he continue to dictate to them?... What good was circulation

increase if advertising patronage failed?

She returned to the office in lowest spirits and considered her case.

It was not pleasant consideration.

She had arrived in town a few weeks before, a stranger, without

friends. She was unacquainted with Gibeon and with its peculiarities,

and at the very beginning had made an enemy of its leading citizen,

a man ostensibly possessed of great power to blight her prospects.

She had made no friends, had not sought to strengthen her position by

alliances. Frankly, she knew almost as little about Gibeon to-day as

she knew the hour of her arrival. Her acquaintance was altogether with

the melodramatic side of the town’s life, with the disappearance of its

sheriff; with illicit dealings in liquor; with its political trickery.

She did not know who were its solid, dependable, law-respecting

citizens. It might have been well to go to the trouble of finding

who of Gibeon’s residents were in sympathy with her campaign of

disclosures, but she had not done so. She stood alone, without the

approval of those who worked with her.

She saw how she had plunged into things with her habitual

impulsiveness, without giving consideration to facts or consequences.

Without intending it to be so, she had so arranged matters that the

battle stood as the _Free Press_ against the world. How much better

it would have been to move cautiously; to be sure of her ground; to

know she could rely upon powerful support. She wondered if it were too

late....

At this stage in her reflections, George Bogardus, undertaker,

darkened her door. George was not a youth, but he simulated youth.

He wore the sort of clothes one sees in magazine illustrations--with

exaggerations. He wore spats. A handkerchief with a colored border

allowed its corner to peer from his breast pocket, and useless

eyeglasses hung from a broad black ribbon. If George were seen standing

in the window of some clothing store catering to the trade of those who

dress by ear rather than by eye, he would have been perfection. Once

George saw a play in Boston, and since that day he had impersonated

a young English nobleman who had been its hero. His speech was a

quaint mingling of New England intonation and idiom with what he could

remember of the inflections and vocal mannerisms of Lord Algernon

Pauncefote.

“Aw--I say,” he began, lifting his eyeglasses to his nose. “Aw--Miss

Lee.”

“Yes, Mr. Bogardus.”

“I say--this is the day we kin start depositin’ our votes, hain’t

it?... What?”

“In the Handsomest-Man contest?”

“Er--precisely. Y’understand--aw--have no interest myself. Not the

least.” This was Lord Pauncefote at his best. “Buy m’ friends. What?

Cheerio! Eh?”

“Of course, Mr. Bogardus.”

“Er--say, who else has got any votes in?”

“Nobody, as yet.”

“Satisfactory, very. Yes, yes.... Lance Bangs hain’t entered yit?”

“Not yet.”

“I fawncy ’e will be,” said Mr. Bogardus. “Aw--permit me

to--er--deposit with you--aw--eighteen of these so-called coupons....

Guess that’ll give me as good a start as any, seems as though.”

“Yes, indeed, Mr. Bogardus. Good luck to you.”

“Er--notice anything?” He toyed with the ribbon on his eyeglasses and

cast an arch glance upon Carmel.

“Oh yes, indeed! How distinguished it makes you look!”

He purred. “That’s the way I calc’late to look. How was it that feller

said it in French. Seems like I can’t twist my tongue around French....

Eh?... Oh, dis-tan-gay. Sounds kind of, don’t it. Say.”

He turned toward the door, but paused. “Heard the news?” he asked.

“What news?”

“Aw--fawncy an editor askin’ that. Fawncy!... They’re goin’ to declare

the office of sheriff vacant and git the Governor to appoint Jenney to

the job.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s bein’ talked all over. Jenney says so himself. Rippin, eh? What?”

So they dared go as far as that--to appoint to the high office of

sheriff of the county a man such as Deputy Jenney! The thought was not

without its pleasant facets. If she had forced them to take such a step

it must mean she was reckoned as dangerous.... She hugged that thought

to her breast.

Contraband · 第 14 / 27 章