Who or what am I, that, dwelling amongst the most humble, can associate
with the highest? I am low in the scale of rank, but at the head of my
race, and the most ancient of my tribe; the offspring and representative
of want, and despised by multitudes, yet of regal descent. I have the
likeness of woman and man, but I am neither man nor woman. I have neither
father nor mother, and I am childless. I have the appearance of a
potentate, yet I am not a potentate, but the companion of the lowly, and
their most frequent visitor and guest. It is my destiny to live equally
in palaces and farm-houses, jails and hovels. I am a traveller, though
one who is always obliged to journey blindfold, and sometimes bound in
cords with vulgar companions, and strictly guarded.
No creature undergoes greater vicissitudes. I am the attendant of most
that walk, sail, and ride. I am attached to the pedestrian, yet generally
kept in confinement; or when at times liberated, exposed to the rudest
scoffs and sports of the vulgar, who toss me up in the air, pelt me
with sticks and stones, tumble me on the earth, and stamp on me; and
if I am raised again, it is either to endure a repetition of insult, or
administer to the cupidity of vagabonds.
Though I never push myself forward, I have a face of brass, and yet my
eyes can never look you straight in the face. I am fickle and changeable
as the wind, yet I am a friend in adversity, and never desert those who
do not first discard me. I may be the first to leave you; but in the hour
of your utmost necessity you will acknowledge with a sigh _that I have
been the last to desert my post_.
I am frequently trusted, though I often betray. How many petitions may
have been offered up to heaven for my coming, no man living can tell, and
yet I appear every where.
I have been in the earth, I have been in the sea, I have been in the
air, I have been in the fire, and can endure unhurt, and with fortitude,
greater extremities of heat and cold than any mortal. All the blows in
the face I have ever received have never made me move a muscle. I have
been crushed, but am sound and whole; and notwithstanding the contempt
with which I have been treated (thanks to the present feelings of the
age), am more and more respected every day--sought after indeed with
eagerness, though seldom long retained. I am the beloved of schoolboys,
but as quickly discarded by them. I attend churches and chapels, fairs
and markets; yet though a friend and supporter of the Bible and many
pious institutions, I am a heathen in religion, nor can I partake of
any thing which I buy. Though my letters may be read by every body, I
can neither read nor write. I am a proud stickler indeed in the school
of aristocracy, for I never move out of my own circle; and with my
associates, both male and female, am often nearly squeezed to death,
according to the highest forms of fashionable usage.
I have given birth to hundreds of thousands, and with me fortunes
invariably expire. My existence may continue for a thousand years, nay,
to the very end of time, and yet may be cut short in a moment. But if
you destroy me, which it is certainly in your power to do, know that
innumerable myriads are at my back, and always ready to replace me.
Though committing no offence, I am liable to transportation without
even a trial, but I am always well received after my return from exile.
A master of all languages, but speaking none, I find my way in foreign
countries without difficulty, for, though speechless, I am eloquent
enough in my own way. From my features and head-dress you might suppose
that I belonged to some Indian tribe, but I am British and Irish all
over, and flourish best upon my own soil. I am an ever-welcome friend to
the forlorn, but am myself very poor. I have a mint of money at my back,
but am not worth three half-pence. At the moment you are reading this,
you will indeed be wretched if you cannot command my services.
And now, having by the unwearied diligence, talent, and influence of
Mr Rowland Hill, been enabled to give myself up for the support and
encouragement of the IRISH PENNY JOURNAL, I hereby particularly enjoin it
upon all my brethren more and more to patronise that excellent work.
* * * * *
IRISH BRAVERY.--The following instance of Irish bravery, recorded in
Falkner’s Journal, March 18, 1760, is too remarkable to be buried in
oblivion:--“On Saturday last, arrived at Youghal the ship _Good Intent_,
belonging to Waterford, but last from Bilboa: she was taken the Tuesday
before by a French privateer off Ushant, and had on board ten or twelve
hands, her lading brandy and iron. The French took away the master
(Bongar), and all the men, except five and a boy. On Friday last, four
of them (the fifth not consenting) formed a plan to surprise the nine
Frenchmen who were navigating the vessel to France, and succeeded
therein. Four of the Frenchmen were under deck, three aloft, one at the
helm, and the other man near him: three of the Irishmen were under deck,
one at the helm, and the fifth hiding. One Brien by surprise tripped
up the heels of the Frenchman at the helm, seized his pistol, and
discharged it at the other, at the same instant making a signal for his
three comrades below to follow his example: they assailed the Frenchmen,
and by getting at their broadswords soon compelled them to be quiet;
and immediately getting above, shut the hatches. After a desperate cut
which one of the Frenchmen received on the arm in defending his head,
and another a bruise by throwing the pistol at his head after it was
discharged (for he missed him), those above likewise called out for
quarter, and yielded up the quarterdeck to the intrepid Mr Brien. Not one
of these fellows could read or write; of consequence they knew not how to
navigate the ship, but Brien said that as he knew his course was north
in general, being near Ushant, he steered at a venture, and the first
land he made was near Youghal, where he happily arrived and landed his
prisoners, who are now in Youghal gaol.”