SEXUAL IMPULSE—PART I.
The sexual impulse is the strongest force in all living creatures. It is
this that animates the struggle for existence; it is this that attracts
and unites two beings, that they may reproduce their kind; it is this
that inspires man to the highest and noblest thoughts; it is this also
that inspires man to all endeavors and achievements, to all art and
poetry; this impulse is the creative instinct which dominates all living
things and without which life must die. If, then, this force, this
impulse plays so strong a part in our lives, is it not necessary that we
know something about it?
* * * * *
At the time of puberty there comes both to boys and girls, two
impulses—one, the desire to touch or caress; to come in contact with, to
write or to speak to, an individual of the opposite sex. This impulse is
much stronger in girls than in boys. The other is the impulse that
impels the individual to discharge the accumulation of ripe sex cells,
and relieve himself of the nervous tension which this accumulation
produces. This impulse is stronger in boys than in girls. One writer
states that this is an unconscious desire for relief from physical
congestion, not differing greatly from the sense of relief which the
emptying of the bladder or rectum produces.
* * * * *
These two impulses together, according to Moll, constitute the Sexual
Impulse, and this constitutes the foundation upon which love, the
greatest of all emotions, is based.
* * * * *
At the time of puberty, we learned from the last article, that the first
manifestations of sexual maturity in the girl is the appearance of the
menstrual flow. But also at puberty there comes the sexual impulse,
which evidences itself during sleep, in a filmy substance dropping from
the mouth of the uterus. This “detumescence” does not appear very often
in young girls, but later in life when sex instinct becomes stronger it
occurs during sleep, especially in young widows having experienced
sexual relations. They are, however, seldom aware of its taking place;
consequently, it has not the danger which it presents to the boy.
* * * * *
In the preceding article on puberty, we discussed only the girl at
puberty, but here it is necessary to understand that during puberty many
changes take place in the boy, such as change of voice, the growth of
hair on the face, various parts of the body, and most important, the
discharge of the sexual fluid commonly known as seminal emissions. This
latter symptom appears in every normal healthy boy on reaching the age
of puberty, but unlike the menstrual period which occurs at a stated
period in girls, the seminal emissions do not depend upon a special
period; they occur at different times, often twice a month. Unlike
menstruation, which in the girl lasts from two to seven days, the
discharge lasts only a few seconds, and is not accompanied by pain. This
expulsion is considered perfectly normal, and is not a sign of physical
or sexual weakness, but a sign that a surplus accumulation of ripe sex
cells are present and have come to their full development and overflow.
Nature takes care of this and uses all of this life-giving fluid
according to the needs of the individual, casting off the surplus.
It is this symptom that alarms young boys at puberty. It is this
overflow which enables quack doctors to play upon the innocent and
ignorant boy, telling him that it is an indication of weakness. And it
is also this—as the result of telling older boys about it—that leads
boys to houses of prostitution; for they are told by their ignorant
advisers that they must have sexual relations or endanger their sexual
capacity.
It is also this overflow which, occurring in sleep awakens the boy, and
he is conscious of what has occurred; he is conscious also of a
pleasurable sensation which this sense of relief produces, and unless
warned against it he will try at some later time to bring on this relief
by friction or mechanical means, which is known as masturbation—often
called self-abuse. The age of puberty is one of the periods in an
individual's life in which it is easiest to acquire this habit, in girls
as well as in boys, although the girl may not be conscious of any
sensation, through the accumulation of the “detumescence”. Yet there is
the same nervous tension that exists in boys, due to congestion of the
now fully developed genital organs, perhaps slighter in intensity, but
it is there and the girl becomes conscious of it.
In talking to older girls about sex, menstruation, etc., she is often
led into the habit of masturbation. Cases have been known where children
formed this habit in infancy almost, through the ignorance of nurses or
even mothers, who, not aware of the consequences, have kept babies from
crying by gently patting or rubbing the sexual parts. It may be caused
also by uncleanliness, itching, tight clothing, etc.
When the habit is formed in very small children, it can be exercised in
the very presence of the parents, but they being ignorant of the habit
itself, or the consequences, interpret the actions as “baby ways”.
Again, the habit is formed upon entering school. It is said no school is
free from it; and it is a fact that no institution today is free from
pupils who practice masturbation.
In public schools are found groups of perverted boys and girls whose
depraved ideas sooner or later permeate the place. A recent issue of a
conservative woman's journal says: “In absolute filth of conversation
nothing could equal the talk of boys and girls during recess in our
schools. What is still worse is that the child is generally instructed
in masturbation, prostitution and sometimes sexual perversity.”
This subject of masturbation is at present under discussion from many
points of view among the medical profession; some claiming, that, as
with venereal diseases, we lay too much stress on the matter, and
exaggerate the harm done to the individual by it. One writer plainly
states that it is of such common practice that out of a hundred young
men and women, ninety-nine are addicted to it, and the hundredth one is
lying. Another says that out of a hundred men and women arriving at the
age of 25, ninety-nine have practiced it at some time.
By these examples such writers would try to prove that because
ninety-nine people out of one hundred are not in insane asylums the
practice cannot be as harmful as it is stated by others to be.
Let us take a sane and logical view of this subject.
In children, before they have reached the age of puberty, prior to the
development of the sexual organs, it stands to reason that to abuse
these organs before they are strong enough to be exercised must weaken
them for their natural functions. Again, masturbation, unlike the sexual
act, can be practiced individually and at all times and nearly anywhere.
This gives the individual unlimited opportunity for indulgence, and
consequently drains and exhausts the system of the vitality necessary
for full development.
In the boy or girl past puberty we find one of the most dangerous forms
of masturbation, i. e., mental masturbation, which consists of forming
mental pictures, or thinking of obscene or voluptuous pictures. This
form is considered especially harmful to the brain, for the habit
becomes so fixed that it is almost impossible to free the thoughts from
lustful pictures. Every girl should guard against the man who invariably
turns a word or sentence into a lustful, or commonly termed, “smutty”
channel, for nine times out of ten he is a mental masturbator.
Perhaps the greatest physical danger to the chronic masturbator is the
inability to perform the sexual act naturally. The strong physical
irritants which are used are likely to produce catarrhal disease of
these organs in both sexes, producing such irritating sensations that
relief is demanded, and this can be obtained only by repeating the
habit, and so it continues. The individual promises himself over and
over again after such exercises to overcome the habit, but his will
power gradually becomes destroyed and the impulse continues. He knows
and intuitively feels such practice degrades him and destroys his
character; he feels he is losing control of himself, and also realizes
that his health, especially his nervous system is being undermined.
In my personal experience as a trained nurse while attending persons
afflicted with various and often revolting diseases, no matter what
their ailments, I never found any one so repulsive as the chronic
masturbator.
It would not be difficult to fill page upon page of heart-rending
confessions made by young girls, whose lives were blighted by this
pernicious habit, always begun so innocently, for even after they have
ceased the habit, they find themselves incapable of any relief in the
natural act. This causes a nervous and excited condition in the girl,
tossing about nervously for hours after. It is much more difficult for a
girl to overcome the habit than a man. The effects are more permanent in
her.
Before closing this subject, however, I want to tell of a case of an
eight year old boy I attended during an attack of measles. I found he
was shy and unresponsive, and at times very nervous and irritable with a
strong liking to be alone. I observed him closely for a few days and
reported the results of my observation to the attending physician. He
was convinced of the truth, that the little fellow was masturbating. The
physician assigned me to the task of talking to the child, who
acknowledged that he was “touching” himself and had been ever since he
could remember. The little fellow's mother had died when he was in
infancy, leaving beside himself a brother a year older with whom he
slept. I explained to him the danger as well as I could and the result
was that I was awakened in the night by whisperings and found the little
fellow asking the older brother to tie his hands to the bedpost. This
the older brother did with a handkerchief, and the child went to sleep
in this way every night during the few weeks I was attending him. The
first few nights he was awake practically all of the time struggling to
overcome this habit, which he finally overcame completely.
At puberty every boy and girl should be taught these dangers and
temptations and also how to avoid them, by keeping active, mentally and
physically, going to bed only when sleepy, avoiding intoxicating drinks
and stimulants.
We have strayed some distance, I know, from the beginning of our
subject—Sexual Impulse—to treat of its perversion (masturbation), but we
shall now take up the normal natural impulse and see what there is that
every girl should know.
SEXUAL IMPULSE—PART II.
In the first part of this article we learned that the sexual impulse is
a combination of the two impulses: the one which impels the discharge of
ripe sex cells, strongest in the boy, and the other which impels the
individual to touch or caress an individual of the opposite sex,
strongest in the girl.
Every girl has in mind an ideal man. This ideal begins to form sometime
in the early adolescent age. He is usually distinct in her mind as to
his physical qualities, such as dark or light hair, or brown or blue
eyes. He is always a certain physical type and often remains an ideal to
her through life. At the forming period of the type she will be
attracted toward many men who seem to answer the ideal type, but as she
reads and develops through the various stages of the adolescent period,
the ideal changes and grows with her. As she reaches the romantic stage
the ideal must be brave, daring, courteous. If she is inclined toward
outdoor sports he must be athletic. And so it goes on until the
twenty-third year, when the average girl has a fairly settled idea of
the man who would suit her as a mate through life.
When the sexual impulse makes itself felt strongly in the adolescent boy
or girl, they, feeling satisfied with the physical beauty and perfection
of the other, marry, they are unconscious that the incentive to love
when based on physical attraction alone is soon destroyed. For sickness,
poverty or disease will affect even the most seemingly perfect physical
attraction.
Let us not confuse the sexual impulse with love, for it alone is not
love, but merely a necessary quality for the growth of love.
No sexual attraction or impulse is the foundation of the beautiful
emotion of love. Upon this is built respect, self-control, sympathy,
unity of purpose, many common tastes and desires, building up and up
until this real love unites two individuals as one being, one life. Then
it becomes the strongest and purest emotion of which the human soul is
capable. There is no doubt that the natural aim of the sexual impulse is
the sexual act, yet when the impulse is strongest and followed by the
sexual act without love or any of the relative instincts which go to
make up love, the relations are invariably followed by a feeling of
disgust. Respect for each other and for one's self is a primary
essential to this intimate relation.
In plant and animal life the reproductive cell of the male is the active
seeker of the passive female cell, imbued with the instinct to chase and
bodily capture the female cell for the purpose of reproduction.
This instinct man, as he is today, has inherited, and, as with the lower
forms of life, the senses are intensely involved. It is kept alive by
the sense of sight, sound and smell, and reaches its highest development
through the sense of touch. It is heightened by touching smooth and soft
surfaces—which is said to account for the pleasure of kissing.
In the early part of this article I spoke of the desire to touch being
stronger in girls than in boys. This desire leads a girl to kiss and
fondle a man without any conscious desire for the sexual act; whereas in
the man, to be touched and caressed by the girl for whom he has a sexual
attraction, stimulates the accumulation of sex cells, and the desire for
the sexual act becomes paramount in his mind. Many a young girl bubbling
over with the joy of living, innocent of any serious consequences, is
oft-times misjudged by men on account of these natural actions. But she
soon puts on her armor of defense, and stifles and represses any
outbursts of affection.
Society, too, condemns the natural expression of woman's emotion, save
under certain prescribed conditions. In consequence of this, women
suppress their natural desires and direct this great force into other
channels, participating in the bigger and broader movements and
activities in which they are active today.
This is one reason why the type of the so-called “old maid”, so
characteristic of the generation past, has disappeared. These great
maternal powers are being used up in the activities of modern life.
Instead of allowing it to remain dormant and make her odd and whimsical,
the modern woman turns her sexual impulse into a big directing force.
That the male creature is the pursuer of the female in all forms of
life, there is no question, but that the female has the choice of
selection and uses fine discrimination in her choice, cannot be denied
either. This instinct of selection seems to lie dormant in women of
today, for at puberty nature calls to every girl to make a selection
suitable to her nature. Yet few girls follow this instinct on account of
the specter of economic insecurity which looms up before them. Instead
of asking themselves: “Are we mateable and sympathetic?” they ask:
“Shall we have enough food, clothing and shelter?”
Indeed, girls, this system increases our degradation, and places us in
ideals lower than the animals. All over the civilized world today girls
are being given and taken in marriage with but one purpose in view: to
be well-supported by the man who takes her. She does not concern herself
with the man's physical condition; his hereditary taints, the
cleanliness of his mind or past life, nor with the future of the race.
There will no doubt be a great change in woman's attitude on this
subject in the next few years. When women gain their economic freedom
they will cease being playthings and utilities for men, but will assert
themselves and choose the father of their offspring. As Bernard Shaw
tells of her in one of his greatest plays, she will hunt down her ideal
in order to produce the Superman.
* * * * *
There seems to be a general tendency on the part of the woman who is
demanding political freedom, to demand sexual freedom also. When a girl
reaches the age nearing thirty her natural development tends toward
sexual freedom. It seems as though nature, knowing the time of
reproduction is drawing to a close, calls with all the fury of her
strength to complete its development and procreate.
It is at this age where physicians claim a woman awakens to the sexual
desire, and it is at this age that women seek affection, or
gratification with a “lover.” To her there is nothing to say; she is
mature, developed and can judge for herself where best her happiness
lies.
But to the young girl at the age of say twenty, or even younger,
immature, mentally undeveloped, there is something she should know, and
that is that every physical impulse, every sensual feeling, every
lustful desire will come to her whitewashed with the sacred word “Love”.
Neither the boy nor the girl knows the difference between the sexual
impulse and love. A boy meets a girl he feels a great attraction for
her, he feels the sexual impulse throbbing within him, he is full of
this life-giving current, he feels it throughout his being; he walks
lighter and straighter, he feels it in his voice, in his laughter; he
grows tenderer within himself, and to women. He feels all this and is
sure it is a love that will never die. If there is an attraction on the
girl's part there is no difficulty in persuading her that this feeling
is love.
But it is not love; it is the creative force or sexual impulse scattered
through his being and the sexual act brings it to a focus.
If motherhood comes to the girl through this relation, she has developed
and the experience has enriched her life. But today the girl has an idea
she has escaped the greatest disgrace when she has avoided motherhood.
If the relation was based on physical attraction alone, a few abortions
and the monotony of every day life soon remove this, and the man goes
elsewhere in search of this wonderful sensation which he felt at first,
but did not know how to keep or how to use.
The girl, however, has become a new being, sexually awakened and
conscious of it, but ignorant of the use of the forces she possesses,
she plunges forth blindly, with social and economic forces against her,
and prostitution beckoning at every turn. So she soon passes with the
crowd on the road to the Easiest Way. This is the story of thousands of
young girls living in prostitution.
Women should know that the creative instinct does not need to be
expended entirely on the propagation of the race. Though the sex cells
are placed in a part of the anatomy for the essential purpose of easily
expelling them into the female for the purpose of reproduction, there
are other elements in the sexual fluid which are the essence of blood,
nerve, brain and muscle. When redirected into the building and
strengthening of these, we find men or women of the greatest endurance
and greatest magnetic power. A girl can waste her creative powers by
brooding over a love affair to the extent of exhausting her system, with
results not unlike the effects of masturbation and debauchery.
The sexual impulse is natural. It is natural in animals, degenerates,
and in man. But in man it is mixed with other essentials which,
together, are termed love. These essentials are derived from man's power
of reasoning by which he is known as a higher species and through which
he differs from the animals.
When man emerged from the jungle and stood upright on his hind legs, the
shape of his head and his face changed from the long jaw and flat head
of the animal to the flat face and high head of the man. All progress
from that time forward was made along mental lines. According to
universal law then in existence he should have been limited to a
geographical area and killed by the extreme heat or cold or starved for
one kind of food if it were not obtained, but against all these he
fought, because he became endowed with such attributes as reason,
knowledge and will-power. Instead of using his creative powers solely in
hunting food and reproducing his species, he used this force in making
plans for his self-preservation. He built rafts and boats to cross
rivers and streams; he devised methods of clothing himself against
extreme heat and cold and discovered various ways of preparing food for
different climates suitable for his various needs. In other words he
conserved his creative force and redirected it into its channels which
have resulted in giving him precedence over all other living creatures.
For man has developed a conscious mind which asserts itself by
reasoning, which in turn has developed his brain power.
It is said a fish as large as a man has a brain no larger than the
kernel of an almond. In all fish and reptiles where there is no great
brain development, there is also no conscious sexual control. The lower
down in the scale of human development we go the less sexual control we
find. It is said the aboriginal Australian, the lowest known species of
the human family, just a step higher than the chimpanzee in brain
development, has so little sexual control that police authority alone
prevents him from obtaining sexual satisfaction on the streets.
According to one writer, the rapist has just enough brain development to
raise him above the animal, but like the animal, when in heat, knows no
law except nature, which impels him to procreate, whatever the result.
Every normal man and woman has the power to control and direct his
sexual impulse. Men and women who have it in control and constantly use
their brain cells thinking deeply, are never sensual.
It is well to understand that the natural aim of the sexual impulse is
the sexual act and the natural aim of the sexual act is reproduction,
though it does not always result in this. It is possible for conception
to take place without love, it is even possible that there is no
conscious knowledge to procreate before or during the act, yet this does
not disprove the fact that nature has designed it for the purpose of
reproduction, no matter what uses man has put it to today. This subject
of procreation we shall discuss next.
Every girl should know that to hold in check the sexual impulse, to
absorb this power into the system until there is a freely conscious
sympathy, a confidence and respect between her and her ideal, that this
will go toward building up the sexual impulse and will make the purest,
strongest and most sacred passion of adult life, compared to which all
other passions pale into insignificance.