Yes, the church door was unlocked, as happened not unfrequently, though
not of intention on the worthy vicar's part, or on that of his
subordinates.
Inside, though of course the sunny daylight out-of-doors was still at
its full, thanks to the high pews, and narrow windows deep set in the
massive walls, all was dusk and gloom. The more so at first from the
sudden contrast.
But to Frances just now this was congenial. Half mechanically she made
her way up to her usual place, for one act of courtesy on the part of
the temporary occupants of the big house had been to beg that the Fir
Cottage family would not think of vacating the spacious old pew, where
indeed there was room enough and to spare for the united households.
With a sense of weariness, to which for the first time she ventured to
yield, Frances leaned back in her old corner. Venerable as it was, the
church was not one, under present conditions, which lent itself readily
to devotion. And it was scarcely with any feeling in this direction
that the girl had sought its shelter--only a vague yearning for quiet
and solitude had brought her thither. But gradually as she sat alone
thinking, though but dreamily, more than what she had sought seemed to
creep into her spirit. A sense of world-wide sympathy, sympathy
extending indeed into time as well as space, came to soften and yet
strengthen her.
How much sorrow there was in the world! Sorrow and disappointment and
perplexity, bravely borne in so many cases, unsuspected even. How much
sorrow there _had_ been, how much was yet to come! How many fatal
mistakes, inexplicable shortcomings, whose results stretched far!
For it was almost impossible to sit there alone in the quiet dusk,
without her thoughts reverting to the strange old story of her own
ancestress' lack of good faith, from which indirectly she and those
dearest to her were even now suffering.
"Our lives would have been _so_ different!" thought Frances, "our lives
and characters and everything about us. So much more consistent if we
had been less isolated, and in a sense less ignorant. At least it
appears as if it would have been better for us, but it is not for us to
judge. I really do not think that the best side of me is inclined to
murmur for myself if things go right for the others."