Minutes passed. When Effi came to she got up and sat on a chair by the
window and gazed out into the quiet street. Oh, if there had only been
turmoil and strife outside! But there was only the sunshine on the
macadam road and the shadows of the lattice and the trees. The feeling
that she was alone in the world came over her with all its might. An
hour ago she was a happy woman, the favorite of all who knew her, and
now an outcast. She had read only the beginning of the letter, but
enough to have the situation clearly before her. Whither? She had no
answer to this question, and yet she was full of deep longing to
escape from her present environment, to get away from this Zwicker
woman, to whom the whole affair was merely "an interesting case," and
whose sympathy, if she had any such thing in her make-up, would
certainly not equal her curiosity.
"Whither?"
On the table before her lay the letter, but she lacked the courage to
read any more of it. Finally she said: "What have I further to fear?
What else can be said that I have not already said to myself? The man
who was the cause of it all is dead, a return to my home is out of the
question, in a few weeks the divorce will be decreed, and the child
will be left with the father. Of course. I am guilty, and a guilty
woman cannot bring up her child. Besides, wherewith? I presume I can
make my own way. I will see what mama writes about it, how she
pictures my life."
With these words she took up the letter again to finish reading it.
"--And now your future, my dear Effi. You will have to rely upon
yourself and, so far as outward means are concerned, may count upon
our support. You will do best to live in Berlin, for the best place to
live such things down is a large city. There you will be one of the
many who have robbed themselves of free air and bright sunshine. You
will lead a lonely life. If you refuse to, you will probably have to
step down out of your sphere. The world in which you have lived will
be closed to you. The saddest thing for us and for you--yes, for you,
as we know you--is that your parental home will also be closed to you.
We can offer you no quiet place in Hohen-Cremmen, no refuge in our
house, for it would mean the shutting off of our house from all the
world, and we are decidedly not inclined to do that. Not because we
are too much attached to the world or that it would seem to us
absolutely unbearable to bid farewell to what is called 'society.' No,
not for that reason, but simply because we stand by our colors and are
going to declare to the whole world our--I cannot spare you the
word--our condemnation of your actions, of the actions of our only and
so dearly beloved child--"
[Illustration: _Permission F Bruckmann A.-G., Munich_
FRAU VON SCHLEINITZ AT HOME Adolph von Menzel]
Effi could read no further. Her eyes filled with tears and after
seeking in vain to fight them back she burst into convulsive sobs and
wept till her pain was alleviated.
Half an hour later there was a knock at the door and when Effi called:
"Come in!" Mrs. Zwicker appeared.
"May I come in?"
"Certainly, my dear," said Effi, who now lay upon the sofa under a
light covering and with her hands folded. "I am exhausted and have
made myself as comfortable here as I could. Won't you please take a
seat?"
Mrs. Zwicker sat down where the table with the bowl of flowers would
be between her and Effi. Effi showed no sign of embarrassment and made
no change in her position; she did not even unfold her hands. It
suddenly became immaterial to her what the woman thought. All she
wanted was to get away.
"You have received sad news, dear, gracious Lady?"
"Worse than sad," said Effi. "At any rate sad enough to bring our
association here quickly to an end. I must leave today."
"I should not like to appear obtrusive, but has the news anything to
do with Annie?"
"No, not with Annie. The news did not come from Berlin at all, it was
a letter from my mother. She is worried about me and I am anxious to
divert her, or, if I can't do that, at least to be near at hand."
"I appreciate that only too well, much as I lament the necessity of
spending these last days in Ems without you. May I offer you my
services?"
Before Effi had time to answer, the pretty waitress entered and
announced that the guests were just gathering for lunch, and everybody
was greatly excited, for the Emperor was probably coming for three
weeks and at the end of his stay there would be grand manoeuvres and
the hussars from her home town would be there, too.
Mrs. Zwicker discussed immediately the question, whether it would be
worth while to stay till then, arrived at a decided answer in the
affirmative, and then went to excuse Effi's absence from lunch.
A moment later, as the waitress was about to leave, Effi said: "And
then, Afra, when you are free, I hope you can come back to me for a
quarter of an hour to help me pack. I am leaving by the seven o'clock
train."
"Today? Oh, your Ladyship, what a pity! Why, the beautiful days are
just going to begin."
Effi smiled.