Twenty years ago, Hezekiah Thornypath was in Luck's way--so much so,
that Luck kicked him out of it. Hez went up to London to make his
fortune, and he took his wife and children with him to help to make it:
Hez meant "to make his crown a pound," as the old song says, but he did
not. Either times, trade, or Hez's management was bad; things went
contrary; and, as though it were a punishment for marrying against old
Thornypath's wish, Hezekiah's few hundred pounds melted away, troubles
came upon him, friends forsook him, and when he considered that his
affairs could be no worse, he had to fetch the doctor, who came, shook
his head, and in a few hours Hez and his wife were weeping bitterer
tears than they had ever shed before, for the rigour of death was fast
stealing away the beauty from the features of their youngest child.
The house looked sad and sombre with the blinds drawn down; footsteps
were hushed, and voices were heard but in a whisper--how needlessly Hez
too well knew, as he gazed, with his weeping wife, upon the little
sleeper. The world looked in advance one dreary desert, while hope
seemed to have parted from them for ever. No friendly word of comfort
was spoken, no whispered consolation--they were alone in the great city,
and the tears that fell had no earthly witness.
A few days dragged slowly past, and then the lid of the little painted
deal coffin hid from aching eyes the tiny spirit's cast-off robe.
Blinding tears, breasts heaving while the thrilling words of the Apostle
fell upon the grieving parents' ears, a last long look at the deep cold
grave, and a catching of the breath as the earth fell heavily upon their
infant's breast, and then, slowly, sadly, hand-in-hand, away from the
little grave.
Three months passed away, and the shabby mourning had grown more rusty--
three months of sorrow and struggles for the bare necessaries of life--
and then again the slow, creaking step of the doctor; the same anxious
faces watching the hard-drawn breath and fevered countenance of another
little sufferer--watching with aching hearts, and moaning in the
bitterness of their spirit at their helplessness, their utter impotence
to give relief. Gazing with awe at the wild eye, unearthly look, and
startled mien; ever and anon trying to soothe the child, whose spirit
seemed to hold communion with another world. The same sad, sad scene:
the creaking step departing, with the assurance, "nothing can be done;"
and then, by the gloomy light of the wretched candle, the shades of that
deepest night were seen to gather upon the little brow, as the eyes were
closed in the sleep whose waking is into life eternal.
Through the crowded streets again, to the crowded habitation of the
dead, a shabby funeral, with shabby mourners, hardly noticed but by the
children, who cease their play and cling to the churchyard rails, or
follow the sad procession amongst the mouldering graves. Another little
coffin close beside the first in the cold, black earth, while hearts
filled to bursting mourn for the lost ones, drinking deeply of
affliction--of those bitter waters of Marah; and then on again, toiling
through life's weary way.
Months of struggling--months of privation and misery; and after a day
spent in a vain effort to gain employ, Hez slunk through the
gaily-lighted streets of the West End, shrinking within himself as
though it were dishonest of him to be poor, and to show his haggard face
amid so much wealth. Christmas was at hand, and the gaily-decorated
shops were thronged with merry faces; the streets, too, were crowded,
vehicles were loaded, and railway-vans groaned beneath the weight of the
presents they were bearing away. Boys home for the holidays, visitors
from the country, busy purchasers and sight-seers, hurried through the
teeming arteries of the mighty city; and the light of many a roaring
fire danced upon the window-blinds, or sent its curtain-shaded radiance
glowing across the road, telling of home and comfort, and the welcome
awaiting those away. Soft flakes of snow were falling fast, and
deadened the footfalls of those he met. A little farther on, strains of
music greeted his ear, and a voice arrested him for an instant as he
heard the words of a song well-known in happier days. Again onwards, to
pass a merry party of young men, laughing and happy. Everything
betokening comfort, wealth, and the festivity of Christmas, met his eye;
but no misery save his own, for the bitter night had sent all others
hiding down in courts and alleys, seeking in their darkness' for shelter
from the winter's icy breath. Hez groaned; for he thought of past
Christmas-days, and now of the present, with his one beggarly room in a
court; of his patient, long-suffering wife, and half-starving children;
of the dire pressure upon him, and his impotence to ward off the
troubles. Want had him tightly in her clutches, and, with the thought
of his misery, he looked down upon his wretched garb in despair. He had
sold everything that the traffickers with poverty would buy; little by
little, furniture, plate, watches, books, clothes, the little trifles
interchanged in brighter days, all, all had gone; and now Hez hurried
back to his lodging, knowing that he could not stir again in search of
employment but as a shoeless beggar.
Hez and his wife supped that night upon the luxury he took in with him--
a hot potato; the two children lay asleep in their corner when he
returned; and bare and wretched as the back room was, lighted only by a
rushlight, there was still one bright ray to illumine its darkness--love
was there; and the same fond smile welcomed Hez back, as greeted him in
brighter days; the same arms--albeit thin and attenuated--clung round
his neck, and the same gentle face was laid to his, as when, in the full
career of prosperity, he had returned to a comfortable home.
Christmas-Eve, and things at the worst: the tide of prosperity floated
away, and Hez's bark stranded. A bitter night; no furniture to sell; no
coals; no fire; and three weeks' rent in arrear. A few hours before,
and a message came, that the landlady wanted to see Mr Thornypath; when
the poor fellow encountered the storm of abuse in waiting for him; to
listen to the threats of bailiffs, and finally, as no money was produced
by the wordy warfare, to receive notice to quit. It was ten o'clock,
and Hez sat by the empty grate upon a broken stool; the children with
their mother were asleep upon a mattress stretched in the corner of the
room. Poor things, they had cried with the cold, and their mother,
trying to lend warmth to their little chilled forms, in her weariness
and misery slept by their side. Hez had knelt down, and kissed away a
half-dried tear from the pallid cheek, as he had added his ragged coat
to his wife's scanty covering. It was a bitter, biting night, and Hez
felt half stupefied with the cold; the pane of glass which the children
had broken was badly stopped, and through it the chilly blast rushed in.
Earlier in the night there had been an organ in the court; but the man
gave in after playing half a tune, and shivered off, thinking of his own
sunny land; some musicians, too, and a carol singer, had been to the
public-house hard by; but their strains raised no response; and now,
Christmas-Eve though it was, the occasional tramp of a policeman, and
the hum of the distant street, were all the sounds that greeted the ear.
Hez sat upon his stool and mused, unmindful of the cold that crept
beneath his ragged shirt, and pinched him until it left blue marks upon
his flesh; unmindful of all but the half-muttered words and sighs of his
sleeping wife, when he would lightly cross the room to re-adjust the
wretched coverlet, and listen to her breathings, as though afraid that
she might leave him in her sleep. Hez sat and mused: the bygone came
back, and the thinker saw himself as child, boy, and man.
Then he recalled stormy interviews with his father; insubordination and
defiance; the smarting of a blow upon his flushing cheek; and then,
married life, and still happiness for a time; years of sunshine, and his
barque floating gently along the stream, which now bore him for a time
upon his way. Then the recollection of others' pains; the affliction,
ruin, and distress he had witnessed, where adversity had been bravely
battled with for long, long years.
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A black cloud shrouding the man's soul: why should he suffer thus? what
had he done? where was his sin? should wife and little ones bear the
offence of the father?--suffer for his disobedience? Thousands around
were in opulence; and he, willing to fight for his daily bread, eager to
seize the work that should give him the labourer's independence, pushed
to the wall by the hundreds striving to grasp the coveted food-procurer.
Why should he not take what stern fate denied? must he sit and watch
his little ones' agony, or apply as a pauper for parish relief? What
was honesty to him now? he must have gold--gold--not to satisfy greed or
the avarice of possession, but because it was the life of all most dear
to him. Glittering stores of life-blood--wife's, children's
life-blood--breath--lay in the windows close, at hand; could he not
clutch the spoil, and let them live and be happy once more? "Thou shalt
not steal!" What whispered of theft? It was no theft, but duty; the
right of a strong man to grasp the possessions of the weaker, as kings
made conquests. Gold, jewellery, wealth for the taking, and then in
some country home to forget once more this hideous act in life's drama.
"Thou shalt not steal!" Hush, conscience, hush! Man must live! But
not by bread alone. Not one sparrow should fall to the ground without
He willed it so! But life--life for the sleeping ones; life for his
long, long-suffering wife--for his prattling children! Must he keep
laws and see the famine-pinched cheeks, the blue lips, and listen to
wailing cries for bread? Had he not waited and hoped--hoped still
against the crushing desolation that pressed upon his weary brain? But
why not die? Why should they not all sleep--sleep together? A little
charcoal and the door well closed; the chimney stopped; and then, with
them gently sleeping, without a struggle, wafted away from this weary
life to eternal rest. His would be the sin; and they, poor, gentle,
loving hearts, would be tenderly led by the hand of Mercy to their
Father's home. Life! what was life but one great sorrow? They, poor
sleepers, would not suffer. But what was that? A merry gentle laugh
and a few half-muttered words from little golden hair, nestling close to
her mother's breast; prattling words of playful glee; some happy dream
playing round that little flame of life. And should he crush it out?
slay as a murderer that tiny innocent? to hear no more the music of its
mirth, the ringing silver of its laugh, and the broken, half-framed
words and sentences of its lips--words so sweet and playful that the
child itself would peer through the golden tangle that overhung its
bright blue eyes, and laugh--merrily laugh--to hear its own attempts.
Those blue eyes, pure in their light as the heaven reflected in their
liquid depth. Must this be so? God--God forgive the thought! They
should live--live to bless him yet, for his secret should be his own.
The grate bar--the broken poker! Enough: they would suffice. He would
go--go at once; but stay, he must wait awhile; his wife had moaned in
her sleep, the wind had rattled the window, and he felt numbed with the
cold. He had thought too much; but he was now relieved and determined.