Alcouz was the name of my fourth brother, who came to lose one of
his eyes upon an occasion that I shall by and by acquaint your
majesty with. He was a butcher by profession, and had a
particular way of teaching rams to fight by which he procured the
acquaintance and friendship of the chief lords of the country,
who loved that sport, and for that end kept rams about their
houses: he had, besides, a very good trade, and had his shop
always full of the best meat, because he was very rich, and
spared no cost for the best of every sort. One day, when he was
in his shop, an old man with a long white beard came and bought
six pounds of meat, gave him money for it, and went his way. My
brother thought the money so fine, so white, and so well coined,
that he put it apart by itself: the same old man came every day
for five months together, bought a like quantity of meat, and
paid for it in the same sort of money, which my brother continued
to lay apart by itself.
At the end of five months, Alcouz having a mind to buy some
sheep, and to pay for them with this fine money, opened his
trunk; but, instead of finding money, was extremely surprised to
see nothing but a parcel of leaves clipped round in the place
where he had laid it: he beat his head, and cried out aloud,
which presently brought the neighbours about him, who were as
much surprised as he, when he told them the story. O! cried my
brother, weeping, that this treacherous old fellow would come now
with his hypocritical looks! He had scarce done speaking, when
seeing him coming at a distance, he ran to him, and laid hands on
him, Mussulman, cried he, as loud as he could, help! hear what a
cheat this wicked fellow has put upon me! and at the same time
told a great crowd of people, who came about him, what he had
formerly told his neighbours. When he had done, the old man,
without any passion, said to him very gravely, You would do well
to let me go, and by that means make amends for the affront you
have put upon me before so many people, for fear I should put a
greater affront upon you, which I am not willing to do. How! said
my brother, what have you to say against me? I am an honest man
in my business, and fear not you nor any body. You would have me
to tell it then, said the old man; and turning to the people,
said, Know, good people, that this fellow, instead of selling
mutton as he ought, sells man's flesh. You are a cheat, said my
brother. No! no! said the old man: Good people, this very minute
that I am speaking, there is a man with his throat cut hung up in
his shop like a sheep; do any of you go thither, and see if what
I say be not true.
Before my brother had opened his trunk, he had just killed a
sheep, dressed it, and exposed it in his shop, according to
custom: he protested that what the old man said was false; but,
notwithstanding all his protestations, the mob, being prejudiced
against a man accused of such a heinous crime, would go to see
whether the matter was true. They obliged my brother to quit the
old man, laid hold of him, and ran like madmen into his shop,
where they saw a man murdered and hung up, as the old man had
told them; for he was a magician, and deceived the eyes of all
people, as he did my brother's, when he made him take leaves
instead of money. At this spectacle, one of those who held Alcouz
gave him a great blow with his fist, and said to him, Thou wicked
villain, dost thou make us eat man's flesh instead of mutton? At
the same time the old man gave him another blow, which beat out
one of his eyes, and every body that could get near him beat him;
and, not content with that, they carried him before a judge, with
the pretended carcase of the man, to be evidence against him.
Sir, said the old magician to the judge, we have brought you a
man, who is so barbarous as to murder people, and to sell their
flesh instead of mutton; the public expect that you should punish
him in an exemplary manner. The judge heard my brother with
patience, but would believe nothing of the story of the money
exchanged into leaves; called my brother a cheat, told him he
would believe his own eyes, and ordered him to have five hundred
blows. He afterwards made him tell where his money was, took it
all from him, and banished him for ever, after having made him
ride three days through the town upon a camel, exposed to the
insults of the people.
I was not at Bagdad when this tragical adventure befel my fourth
brother. He retired into a remote place, where he lay concealed
till he was cured of the blows with which his back was terribly
gored. When able to walk, he went by night to a certain town
where nobody knew him, and there he took a lodging, from whence
he seldom went out; but, being at last weary of his life, he took
a walk into one of the suburbs, where he was suddenly alarmed
with the noise of horsemen coming behind him. He was then by
chance near the gate of a great house; and fearing, after what
had befallen him, that these horsemen were pursuing him, he
opened the gate in order to hide himself; and, after shutting it
again, he came into a wide court, where two servants immediately
came and took him by the neck, and said, Heaven be praised that
you are come voluntarily to surrender yourself up to us! You have
frightened us so much these three last nights, that we could not
sleep; nor would you have spared our lives, if you could have
come at us! You may very well imagine that my brother was much
surprised at this compliment. Good people, said he, I know not
what you mean; you certainly take me for another! No, no, replied
they; you and your comrades are great robbers: you were not
contented with robbing our master of all that he had, and thereby
reducing him to beggary, but you were also going to take his
life; let us examine whether you have not a knife about you,
which you had in your hand when you pursued us last night. Having
said this, they searched him, and found that he had a knife. Ho!
ho! cried they, laying hold of him; and dare you say that you are
not a robber? Why, said my brother, cannot a man carry a knife
without being a highwayman? If you will be attentive to my story,
continued he, instead of having so bad an opinion of me, you will
be touched with compassion at my misfortunes. But, far from
hearkening to him, they fell upon him, trod him underfoot, took
away his clothes, and tore his shirt. Then observing the scars on
his back, O you dog! cried they, redoubling their blows, would
you have us to believe you are an honest man, when your back
convinces us to the contrary? Alas! said my brother, my faults
must be very great, since, after having been abused already so
unjustly, I am ill treated a second time without being more
culpable!
The two servants, no way moved with his complaint, carried him
before the judge, who asked him how he durst be so bold as to go
into their house, and pursue them with a drawn knife. Sir,
replied poor Alcouz, I am the most innocent man in the world, and
am undone if you will not hear me patiently: nobody deserves more
compassion. Sir, replied one of the domestics, will you listen to
a robber, who enters people's houses to plunder and murder them?
if you will not believe us, only look upon his back. Upon which
they showed it to the judge, who, without any other information,
immediately commanded one hundred lashes to be given him with a
bull's pizzle over his shoulders, and caused him afterwards to be
carried through the town on a camel, with one crying before him,
Thus are such men punished as enter people's houses by force!
After treating him thus, they banished him from the town, and
forbade him ever to return to it. Some people, who met him after
the second misfortune, brought me word where he was; and I went
and fetched him to Bagdad privately, and gave him all the
assistance I could.
The caliph, continued the barber, did not laugh so much at this
story as at the other: he was pleased to bewail the unfortunate
Alcouz, and ordered something to be given me. But, without giving
his servants time to obey his orders, I continued my discourse,
and said to him, My sovereign lord and master, you see that I do
not speak much; and since your majesty has been pleased to do me
the favour to listen to me so far, I beg you would likewise hear
the adventures of my two other brothers; I hope they will be as
diverting as those of the former. You may make a complete history
of them, which will not be unworthy of your library. I do myself
the honour, then, to acquaint you that my fifth brother was
called Alnaschar.