university assembled together, and Owlglass came with his host and some
few of the citizens, so that all might proceed with good content. And
when that he had entered into the assembly, they signified unto him that
he should stand upon the stool, and make reply unto the questions so
demanded of him. Then the rector opened his mouth, and spake unto
Owlglass, and asked him, how many gallons of water there were in the
sea; and he charged him to speak the truth and to conceal nothing from
him, for an if he could not answer, then would he punish him as an
ignorant beguiler, and cast him forth. And Owlglass thereupon answered
him and said: “Four hundred and eighty million seven hundred and thirty
thousand two hundred and sixty-four gallons and two-thirds of good
measure. An ye will not believe what I say, cause ye the rivers and
lakes and streams which run therein to stand still, and I will mete it,
and if it prove not as I say, then will I confess that I am unwise.” And
the rector could not do this thing, and therefore he was obliged to
admit the answer of Owlglass; and he next asked him this following
question: “Tell me how many days have passed by from Adam’s time until
this present hour?” And Owlglass spake unto him, saying: “Most
worshipful master rector, the number is not great; only seven have so
passed—Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and
Saturday; and when that they have passed, then begin other seven days,
and so will it go forward until the end of the world.” Then said the
rector: “Now answer me exactly, and say where is the middle of the
world?” Then Owlglass answered: “That is here where we now stand; and if
ye believe me not, do ye take a cord and mete it, and if it be a hair’s
breadth less, then will I stand ashamed.” Then the rector waxed wroth,
and asked Owlglass the fourth question: “How far is it from earth to
heaven?” And Owlglass made answer: “When that one speaketh in heaven it
is easy to hear it down here; therefore get ye one of ye up thither, and
I will cry aloud, and if ye hear me not, then will I confess my wrong.”
And the rector waxed tired of questioning Owlglass, and asked him: “How
great was heaven?” And Owlglass said unto him: “It is a thousand fathoms
wide, and a thousand cubits high; and if ye believe me not, take the sun
and moon and stars from heaven, and mete it, and ye will find I am right
therein.”
And, my masters, I charge ye to tell me, what could the worthy folks
answer unto Owlglass? In all things was he too cunning for them; and by
knavery had he beguiled them all. Then did he strip off his long coat,
and departed from Prague.
The Thirty and Second Adventure.
_How that Owlglass did on a time mix him up in a marriage strife, and
did soon end it with great renown._
It came to pass on a time, that Owlglass entered into a town where much
wine was made, and where the folk of the town did oftentimes drink
themselves drunken thereupon. And, my masters, well do you know that
when on a time ye have peeped into the glass, so that ye have been not
as it would like me an if ye always were; and after that ye come home,
ye do not find that your wives receive ye in so goodly and excellent a
wise as at other times, so happened it that our noble and beloved Master
Owlglass, as he was passing along the street to get him to the inn where
he lay, did hear a brawling within a house hard by, as of people
disputing the one with the other in great anger. So our good friend
therewith stood still, and he hearkened, and perceived that it was the
wife of a cobbler who, unto her husband, the which had come back from
the winehouse well drunken, was reading the evening blessing, the which
doeth such great and excellent good unto all husbands. And with many
words contended they until that it was supper time; then the husband
took his wife by the head, and said unto her: “Wilt thou cook for me my
supper?” And she said: “Nay, that would she not,” and then went they to
quarreling again with much contention. At last said the cobbler: “I
would have that the devil should come and fly away with thee!” And when
that Owlglass heard these words, he took up a large stone which lay in
the street, and threw it at the window, so that the frame and glass all
fell together, and brake with a loud noise. And the twain who were
contending within, thought in truth that the devil had come thither, and
were stricken with great terror. But Owlglass gat him away, for that he
might not have the charges of the broken window demanded of him. Yet
went the story forth with great renown, and even unto this day do the
town folk believe that the devil appeared in shape like unto a great
stone; and if that ye believe not my saying, get ye thither and ask it
of them yourselves.
The Thirty and Third Adventure.
_How that Owlglass did cause an ass to read certain words out of a book
at the great university of Erfurt._
Now after that Owlglass had departed, and had gat him away, it came to
pass that he journeyed until he entered the city of Erfurt, at the which
place is a most learned university. And our well-beloved Master
Owlglass, like unto some wise men of our days, could not hide his wisdom
under a bushel; but wheresoever it fortuned for him to sojourn, there
must he teach the people some cunning thing. And after that he had come
unto Erfurt, he gat him unto a notary, and with fine writing had he
letters marvellously done in goodly and fair manuscript, setting forth
therein his wondrous parts. And such letters of challenge he set upon
the church doors. And the great fame of Owlglass had come unto Erfurt,
where the rector and learned doctors had heard not a little of his
knavish beguilings and conceits; thereat conferred they together as to
how they might so enjoin him to do a thing the which he might not be
able to perform, but have great shame thereby, and that they themselves
might not be deceived and mocked. And then they agreed that they would
give unto Owlglass an ass to be his scholar, the which he should teach
that he might in time become a reader and a wise beast, for of asses
were there great plenty in that university.
[Illustration]
Thereat went they unto Owlglass, and they spake unto him, saying:
“Worshipful master, well know we that you have set letters of art upon
the doors of the church, by the which ye say ye can teach unto any
beast, both that he shall learn to write and to read; now, therefore,
have the doctors of the university resolved, in that among us be no lack
of asses, that ye shall receive one to be a scholar and student under
thee, and that he shall learn to read. Will ye have him to be a scholar,
and receive him and therewith, when that ye have taught him, a great
reward?” Then answered Owlglass and said: “Yea, that will I; but
thereunto must I have time, for an ass is an animal not wise nor easy to
be taught.” So they conferred together, and agreed that he was to be
allowed twenty years in the which to teach him. Then thought Owlglass in
his own mind: “So there are three of us unto this bargain. If that the
rector should die, then am I free. And if it should come to pass that I
should die, then can I break the contract. But if my scholar should not
live, then am I also quit.” And he agreed with them, and of the money he
received some in part. Then he gat him into the inn of the town, and the
master of the house was a man of singular mind. And for his scholar did
Owlglass hire him a stable, and he gat him a great old book, and laid it
into the manger before him, and between each leaf of the book he laid
oats, and the ass soon beheld that, and he turned over the leaves with
his tongue to eat the oats, and when that the oats were all gone, he
cried out with a loud voice: “E, A—E, A!”
And when that Owlglass perceived this, he rose up and gat him unto the
rector, and came into his presence, and said unto him: “Worshipful
master rector, when will it please ye to come unto me to see how my
disciple doth get forward with his book?” Then said the rector: “Doth he
agree unto that which thou teachest him?” And Owlglass answered him, and
said: “Truly he is a difficult disciple, and one that loveth not his
book; yet have I brought it about that by much labour he pronounceth two
vowel sounds very well, that is to say, E and A. Will it not make ye
pleasure to come and hear him?” And all this time had the good scholar
fasted. And when that Owlglass came with the rector, and some of the
doctors of the university, he took a book and laid it in the manger
before him, and when that the ass beheld it, he turned over the leaves
backward and forward, hither and thither, with his tongue to find the
oats, but, as he found nothing therein, he cried with a loud voice: “E,
A—E, A!” Then said Owlglass: “Behold, most learned doctors, my disciple
doth now pronounce well, although yet somewhat broadly, the two vowels E
and A, and that can he do. I have great hope of him that he will soon
get farther.” In no long time after died the rector; and then Owlglass
abode no longer with his disciple, but with his money departed, thinking
that in truth it would demand great industry to make all the asses in
Erfurt wise. Therefore he did it not; and they be all asses in that city
unto this day.
The Thirty and Fourth Adventure.
_How that Owlglass did kill a hog, and answered for his evil doing unto
the burghmaster._
Now it fortuned, that Owlglass once came unto a village, and did hire
him unto a boor to be his serving man. And this boor rejoiced greatly in
all the wise sayings of Owlglass; and in no long time was Owlglass the
best man in the house. And it came to pass upon one even that the boor
made complaint unto Owlglass, and said unto him that he had an evil
neighbour who endeavoured with all his might to afflict him in all ways
that he might, and who, as the old saw saith, would have given an eye
that the boor might be blind. Then Owlglass thought within him: “That
will I soon repay with marvellous heavy interest. And so that my master
doth thereat have joy and goodly satisfaction, then shall I be content.”
And when that he entered into the farm-yard on the next morning to
depart about his labour, Owlglass beheld that the neighbour’s hog had
broken into that place, and was rolling on the dunghill in the yard; and
hard upon the dunghill was there a pond of water, which stood still, and
was covered with green. Then took Owlglass a cudgel and did strike the
hog therewith, until that the hog ran into the pool and was therein
drowned. But privily had the neighbour watched Owlglass, and beheld that
which was done; and he cried aloud, and ran unto Owlglass, and demanded
money for the hog which he had thus lost. And as Owlglass heeded him
not, he came unto his master and desired the same thing. But the master
of Owlglass said: “Truly, therewith have I nought to do. My servant man
did this thing; go ye therefore unto the burghmaster and speak thereof
unto him, and let my man answer it.” Thereat the owner of the hog gat
him unto the burghmaster, and complained unto him of what Owlglass had
done. Then the burghmaster sent for Owlglass, and spake unto him, and
demanded that he should answer it.
And Owlglass did rise up early in the morning, and he saddled a horse,
and gave him to eat, and then departed, and gat him unto the house of
the burghmaster. And the burghmaster, at that time, fortuned to be at
his breakfast, and had before him a porringer of barley broth. And the
burghmaster questioned Owlglass how that it had come to pass that he had
killed the hog. Then Owlglass answered cunningly, and told him how that
the hog brake his way into the yard and wallowed upon the dunghill; and,
moreover, he told him how he had struck the hog, that he departed into
the pool, and was there drowned. But the burghmaster was a man of slow
understanding,—as is in truth not a thing marvellous strange amid people
set in authority,—and he demanded of Owlglass that he should tell him
the story more plainly. Whereat replied Owlglass and said: “Most
worshipful sir, I will set forth unto you this thing very plain and easy
to be comprehended of you. Look you, suppose ye that ye were yourself
the hog, and your porringer of barley the pool, and suppose that I came
after this wise, and with my hand smote you thus”—and therewith fetched
Owlglass the burghmaster a great blow over the head—“thou mightest fall
therein.” Thereat cried the burghmaster aloud, and would have held
Owlglass; but he ran forth and leapt upon his horse and departed thence
with great haste.
The Thirty and Fifth Adventure.
_How that Owlglass at Nugenstädten, in the land of Thuringia, did wash
the women’s furs._
Now after that did Owlglass come into the land of Thuringia, into the
village of Nugenstädten, and there he entered and besought the inn-folk
that he should receive a night’s lodging. Thereat came the hostess unto
him, and asked him, saying: “What manner of trade followest thou?”
And Owlglass answered and said unto her: “Truly am I of no trade, but do
in all things accustom myself to speak the truth.” Then said the
hostess: “Such do I most gladly receive into my house, and
truth-speakers are welcome.” And Owlglass looked round him, and he
perceived that the hostess did squint; therefore he said: “Squint-wife,
squint-wife, where doth it please ye that I shall sit, and where would
ye have me to lay my staff and wallet?” Thereat waxed the hostess very
wroth, and said unto him: “May nought good ever happen unto thee; in all
my life did no one ever say unto me that I squinted!” But Owlglass
answered and said unto her: “Dear hostess, be not angry with me, for an
if I do speak the truth, then must I do it at all times, and in all
things.” And thereat was her wrath turned away, and she, being merry,
laughed and was content.
Now after that Owlglass had abode that night in her inn, they conferred
together, and he told her that he could wash old furs so that they
became new again. Thereat rejoiced the hostess greatly, and begged that
he would do this, and she would tell all her neighbours that they should
also bring their furs to be washed. And Owlglass said: “Yea, verily,
that would he do.” Then all the women in the village brought unto
Owlglass their furs, that they might be washed. And Owlglass said unto
them: “Ye must have milk.” And all the women desired greatly to have new
furs, and they each gat them home, and brought unto Owlglass all the
milk that they had there. And Owlglass set two cauldrons upon the fire,
and he poured the milk into them, and then put the furs into the milk,
and they were boiled therein.
And it came to pass, that when he thought that they had boiled enough,
he said unto the women: “Now must ye bring me young white elm twigs, and
peel ye them, and when that ye come again unto me, I will take out the
furs, for then will they be boiled enough, and I will wring them; yet
must I have wood to do this.” And the women departed right joyfully to
fetch the wood, and the children ran with them, and sang and danced, and
said: “O beautiful new fur cloaks! O beautiful new fur cloaks!” Then
stood Owlglass and laughed, and said: “Wait ye yet a while, the furs be
not right yet.” And while they were gone for the twigs, Owlglass piled
more wood on the fire, and left the furs boiling, and departed out of
the village. And yet hath he not returned to wash the furs. When that
the women folk came back, they began to quarrel, and strive one with the
other, for each would have her fur first forth from the cauldron; but
when that they looked how they were proceeding, lo! they were all boiled
to rags and fell to pieces. And Owlglass rejoiced that he had so happily
gone forth.
The Thirty and Sixth Adventure.
_Telleth how that Owlglass journeyed about the land with a saint’s head,
and did beguile many therewith._
Now the malice of Owlglass had been so great that everywhere was he
known, and his knavery noised abroad, so that where he once came at any
time, to that place durst he not go again, unless it mote be that he
disguised himself in strange appearance that others might not know him.
And although, with his idleness, he could never have much content, yet
from his youth up had he always been one that loved good living, and by
his divers beguilings he always had by him good store of money. But by
his knavishness he had fallen into such evil repute, that nowhere might
he get money, and he began to see the bottom of his money-pouch oftener
than it pleased him to do. So he began to consider within himself, how
that he might without labour get more money, for he knew that often more
money is gained by idle courses than by hard work. Then thought he that
he would become a pardoner, and journey to and fro with a holy relic,
therewith to persuade the people that they should give him money.
Therefore he gat him the long gown of a priest’s scholar, and went unto
the sexton, who gave unto him a skull; therewith he departed unto the
silversmith, who set it about fairly with brave workmanship in silver.
Then came he into the land of Pomerania, where have I also been, my
masters. And there are the people right honest and good, brave men and
true, believing that which ye say unto them; and their piety is as great
as their faith. Yet in that land Owlglass found that the priests cared
more for drinking than preaching; and when that a church feast, a
wedding, or any other assembly came to pass in a village, then did
Owlglass go unto the priest, and entreat of him that he might preach,
and shew unto the boors the holy relic which he bare with him; and
Owlglass promised to give unto the priest half of whatever offerings the
village folk made thereto. The unlearned priest was content enough if
that he might only receive money thereby.
And when that there were many folk in the church, Owlglass gat him up
into the pulpit, and spake somewhat to them of the old covenant and of
the new covenant, of the ark and the golden vessels where lay the holy
bread. Thereafter spake he of the head of the holy Saint Brandonus, he
that was a sanctified man, and that to his honour was it now resolved,
that a church should be builded, and that with money not got by knavery;
nor would he receive aught from any that loved not their husbands. Then
gave he the head unto the peasants to kiss, and it might have been the
head of a thief for what Owlglass knew; and after that he blessed them,
and gat him down, and went to the altar, and there began he to sing, and
ring the bells. Then came all the women, good and bad, unto him with
their offerings; and the bad came twice and thrice, and he received all,
nor turned away any. And the women believed in his saying, and thought
that one that came not should be reproved. And any woman who had no
money brought unto him a golden ring, and they strove together which
should offer more often than another, for therewith was their virtue
confirmed. And many offered so that all folks might behold it, for
charity covereth a multitude of sins. Thus did Owlglass get the fairest
offering which in that land had been offered, and all the women of the
land held Owlglass in great reverence for his piety. And Owlglass knew
how to practise malice with gain. Nor do the folks even unto this day
omit with much openness to give unto charitable uses a trifle from their
substance, and their names are written in great letters; and some that
respect charity have an awe for them, but a few there be that think ye
should work goodness in secret.
The Thirty and Seventh Adventure.
_How that Owlglass did make the town-watch of Nürnberg to fall into the
water which is called the Pegnitz._
Owlglass was most wise in knavery. And when that he had journeyed far
and wide with the holy head of Saint Brandonus, and had beguiled the
people, so that he felt it in his pocket as a heavier weight than it lay
upon his soul, he came unto Nürnberg, where he purposed to make good
cheer with the money which the head gat for him. And after that he had
lain there for a while, he could no longer live unless that he committed
some vile knavery; therefore he looked round as to what he might do.
And, behold, it came to pass that the town watchmen slept in a great
watch-box, beneath the town-hall, in their armour, and this saw
Owlglass. Now Owlglass had learned all the highways and byways at
Nürnberg, and he craftily took heed of the small bridge which is called
the Hangman’s Bridge, and which leads between the Pig-market and the
Little House, where of a night it is ill to pass; and many a one who
hath gone thereby to fetch a measure of wine, hath had too great a drink
of water. Thereafter waited Owlglass with his knavery, until the people
had begun to sleep—and truly watchmen sleep always early; and when that
it was quite still brake he craftily from the bridge three planks, and
cast them into the Pegnitz, and then departed on his way to the
town-hall, and there ’gan he to swear, and with an old knife which he
had he struck the stones of the street, that fire flew far round. Now
the watch awoke thereat, and they heard him, and gat them up, and
followed after him. So Owlglass fled before them, and ran in the way
which led to the Pig-market, and when he came unto the bridge he helped
himself diligently across as best he might where that he brake away the
planks; and after that he had come thereover, he lifted up his voice,
and cried unto them: “Ho! ho! ye shamefaced knaves! where be ye that ye
follow not?” And thereat were the watchmen angry, and they pursued him
yet faster, and each desired to be the first to catch the mocking
beguiler. Then fell they one after the other into the Pegnitz; and it
fortuned that the hole was so narrow, that they dashed their teeth out
as they fell against the other side. Then spake Owlglass unto them, and
said: “Ho! ho! come ye not forward yet? To-morrow follow after me yet
more hastily.” And one there was of them who brake his leg, and another
his arm, and the third knocked a hole in his skull; thus no one came off
without some hurt. Now, after that Owlglass had thus accomplished his
knavery, he abode no longer in the town of Nürnberg, but gat him forth,
and departed; for he was sore afraid, that, if it should be discovered,
the lords of the city of Nürnberg might cause him to suffer therefor.
The Thirty and Eighth Adventure.
_How that Owlglass did at Bamberg eat for money._
On a time, did Owlglass receive money through his cunning, when that he
had departed from Nürnberg and came unto Bamberg, where that he found
that he was an hungered. And in that city of Bamberg entered he into an
inn, and the hostess thereof was a good soul and a merry, and she bade
him welcome with gay words, for by his clothes perceived she that he was
a guest of rare quality. When that the time came in the morning that
they should eat, she spake unto Owlglass, and asked him, saying:
“Whether would he sit at table to eat, or have a portion for so much
money?” And Owlglass answered, and said unto her “I am a poor man and a
needy.” Then entreated he her, that she should, for God his sake, give
unto him to eat. Thereat said the hostess: “Friend, an if I gave unto
thee to eat, I should lose thereby, for the flesher and the baker will
demand to have money of me for their wares. Therefore, for eating must I
also receive money.” Then said Owlglass: “Alas! my dear woman, to eat
for money doth also content me: tell me now how much shall I eat for?”
And the woman spake unto him, saying: “At the gentles’ table, four and
twenty pence; and the next table thereunto, for eighteen pence; and with
my serving people, twelve pence.” Then answered Owlglass unto her words,
and said: “Hostess, the table for four and twenty pence is the most, and
will best convene unto me.” Therefore sat he down to the gentles’ table,
and did eat as much as ever he could. And when that he had eaten and
drunken very heartily, he said unto the hostess, and besought her that
she would settle with him, for that by poverty it was necessary he
should depart. Then answered she unto Owlglass, saying: “Gentle guest,
an if ye give unto me twenty-four pence, ye may, in God’s name, depart
whither it please ye.” But thereat said Owlglass: “Nay, but ye should
give unto me twenty-four pence, for ye said unto me, that for four and
twenty pence should I eat; and therefore apprehended I, that ye meant to
cause that I should earn money, and most heavily did I earn it, for if
life and strength had touched the matter, then could I not have eaten
more. Therefore pray I ye, render unto me my hard earnings.” Then said
the hostess: “Friend, thou speakest truly, for thou hast eaten as much
as any three could have done; but that I should give unto thee money
cometh not within my thought. Yet, in so far as toucheth the dinner,
that will I excuse thee; go therewith in peace; but I give ye no money,
be ye assured. Nor will I demand it of ye; but come not hitherward
again, for if that I should with every guest have such, little would
come therefrom but loss to me.” Then departed Owlglass, and little
thanks gat he.
The Thirty and Ninth Adventure.
_How that Owlglass did make a wager with a Jew about a horse, and did
deceive him._