took the precaution of depositing it in the hands of the landlord of the
public-house at which he stopped. Having occasion for it shortly
afterwards, he repaired to mine host for the amount, but the landlord, too
deep for the countryman, wondered what hundred was meant, and was quite
sure no such sum had ever been lodged in his hands. After many ineffectual
appeals to the recollection, and finally to the honour of Bardolph, the
farmer applied to Curran for advice. "Have patience, my friend," said
Curran; "speak to the landlord civilly, and tell him you are convinced you
must have left your money with some other person. Take a friend with you,
and lodge with him another hundred in the presence of your friend, and then
come to me." We may imagine the vociferations of the honest rustic at such
advice; however, moved by the rhetoric of the worthy counsel, he followed
it, and returned to his legal friend. "And now, sir, I don't see as I'm to
be better off for this, if I get my second hundred again--but how is that
to be done?" "Go and ask him for it when he is alone," said the counsel.
"Aye, sir; but asking won't do I'm afraid, and not without my witness, at
any rate." "Never mind, take my advice," said the counsel; "do as I bid
you, and return to me." The farmer returned with the hundred, glad at any
rate to find that safe again his possession. "Now I suppose I must be
content, though I don't see as I'm much better off." "Well, then," said the
counsel, "now take your friend with you, and ask the landlord for the
hundred pounds your friend saw you leave with him." We need not add, that
the wily landlord found that he had been taken off his guard, while our
honest friend returned to thank his counsel exultingly, with both of his
hundreds in his pocket.
Mr. Curran was once engaged in a legal argument; behind him stood his
colleague, a gentleman whose person was remarkably tall and slender, and
who had originally intended to take orders. The judge observing that the
case under discussion involved a question of ecclesiastical law; "Then,"
said Curran, "I can refer your lordship to a _high_ authority behind me,
who was once intended for the church, though in my opinion he was fitter
for the steeple."
There is a celebrated reply of Mr. Curran to a remark of Lord Clare, who
curtly exclaimed at one of his legal positions, "O! if that be law, Mr.
Curran, I may burn my law books!" "Better _read_ them, my lord," was the
sarcastic and appropriate rejoinder.
A Good Example.--Chamillart, comptroller-general of the finances in the
reign of Louis XIV., had been a celebrated pleader. He once lost a cause in
which he was concerned, through his excessive fondness for billiards. His
client called on him the day after in extreme affliction, and told him
that, if he had made use of a document which had been put into his hands,
but which he had neglected to examine, a verdict must have been given in
his favour. Chamillart read it, and found it of decisive importance to his
cause. "You sued the defendant," said he, "for 20,000 livres. You have
failed by my inadvertence. It is my duty to do you justice. Call on me in
two days." In the meantime Chamillart procured the money, and paid it to
his client, on no other condition than that he should keep the transaction
secret.
Legal Point.--A few years ago it happened that a cargo of ice was imported
into this country from Norway. Not having such an article in the Custom
house schedules, application was made to the Treasury and to the Board of
Trade; and, after some little delay, it was decided that the ice should be
entered as "_dry_ goods;" but the whole cargo had melted before the doubt
was cleared up!
Lord Brougham tells the following story. It is a curious instance of the
elucidation of facts in court.--During the assizes, in a case of assault
and battery, where a stone had been thrown by the defendant, the following
clear and conclusive evidence was drawn out of a Yorkshireman.--"Did you
see the defendant throw the stone?" "I saw a stone, and I'ze pretty sure
the defendant throwed it." "Was it a large stone?" "I should say it wur a
largeish stone." "What was its size?" "I should say a sizeable stone."
"Can't you answer definitely how big it was?" "I should say it wur a stone
of some bigness." "Can't you give the jury some idea of the stone?" "Why,
as near as I recollect, it wur something of a stone." "Can't you compare it
to some other object?" "Why, if I wur to compare it, so as to give some
notion of the stone, I should say it wur as large as a lump of chalk!"
Questioning.--Sir John Fielding gave a curious instance in the case of an
Irish fellow who was brought before him when sitting as a magistrate at
Bow-street. He was desired to give some account of himself, and where he
came from. Wishing to pass for an Englishman, he said he came from Chester.
This he pronounced with a very rich brogue, which caught the ears of Sir
John. "Why, were you ever in Chester?" says he. "To be sure I was," said
Pat, "_wasn't I born there?_" "How dare you," said Sir John Fielding, "with
that brogue, which shows that you are an Irishman, pretend to have been
born in Chester?" "I didn't say I was born there, sure; I only asked your
honour whether I was or not."
Thelwall, when on his trial at the Old Bailey for high treason, during the
evidence for the prosecution, wrote the following note, and sent it to his
counsel, Mr. Erskine: "I am determined to plead my cause myself." Mr.
Erskine wrote under it: "If you do, you'll be hang'd:" to which Thelwall
immediately returned this reply: "I'll be hang'd, then, if I do."
Peter the Great, being at Westminster Hall in term time, and seeing
multitudes of people swarming about the courts of law, is reported to have
asked some about him, what all those busy people were, and what they were
about? and being answered, "They are lawyers." "Lawyers!" returned he, with
great vivacity, "why I have but four in my whole kingdom, and I design to
hang two of them as soon as I get home."
A Sheepish Lamb.--Counsellor Lamb (an old man, at the time the late Lord
Erskine was in the height of his reputation) was a man of timid manners and
nervous disposition, and usually prefaced his pleadings with an apology to
that effect; and on one occasion, when opposed to Erskine, he happened to
remark that "he felt himself growing more and more timid as he grew older."
"No wonder," replied the witty but relentless barrister, "every one knows
the older a _lamb_ grows the more _sheepish_ he becomes."
A learned serjeant, since a judge, being once asked what he would do if a
man owed him £10, and refused to pay him. "Rather than bring an action,
with its costs and uncertainty," said he, "I would send him a receipt in
full of all demands." "Aye," said he, recollecting himself, "and I would
moreover send him five pounds to cover possible costs."
Sir William Jones and Thomas Day.--One day, upon removing some books at the
chambers of the former, a large spider dropped upon the floor, upon which
Sir William, with some warmth, said, "Kill that spider, Day; kill that
spider!" "No," said Mr. Day, with coolness, "I will not kill that spider,
Jones: I do not know that I have a right to kill that spider. Suppose, when
you are going in your coach to Westminster Hall, a superior Being, who
perhaps may have as much power over you as you have over this insect,
should say to his companion, 'Kill that lawyer, kill that lawyer!' how
should you like that, Jones? and I am sure, to most people, a lawyer is a
more noxious animal than a spider."
Sir Fletcher Norton was noted for his want of courtesy. When pleading
before Lord Mansfield, on some question of manorial right, he chanced
unfortunately to say, "My lord, I can illustrate the point in an instant in
my own person: I myself have two little manors." The judge immediately
interposed, with one of his blandest smiles, "We all know that, Sir
Fletcher."
The Stocks.--Lord Camden once presided at a trial in which a charge was
brought against a magistrate for false imprisonment, and for putting the
plaintiff in the stocks. The counsel for the magistrate, in his reply,
said, the charges were trifling, particularly that of putting in the
stocks, which everybody knew was no punishment at all. The chief justice
rose, and leaning over the bench, said, in a half whisper, "Brother, were
you ever in the stocks?" "In the stocks, my lord! no, never." "Then I
have," said his lordship, "and I assure you, brother, it is no such trifle
as you represent." His lordship's knowledge of the stocks arose from the
following circumstance. When he was on a visit to Lord Dacre, his
brother-in-law, at Alveley in Essex, he walked out one day with a gentleman
remarkable for his absence of mind. When they had reached a hill, at some
distance from the house, his lordship sat down on the parish stocks, which
stood by the road side; and after some time, asked his companion to open
them, as he wished to know what kind of punishment it was; this being done,
the absent gentleman took a book from his pocket, and sauntered about,
until he forgot both the judge and his situation, and returned to Lord
Dacre's house. When the judge was tired of the experiment he had so rashly
made, he found himself unable to open the stocks, and asked a countryman
who passed by to assist him. "No, no, old gentleman," replied Hodge, "you
was not set there for nothing, I'll be bound!" Lord C. protested his
innocence, but in vain; the countryman walked on, and left his lordship to
meditate for some time longer in his foolish situation, until some of Lord
Dacre's servants, chancing to pass that way, released him.
Hanging Judge.--Counsellor Grady, in a late trial in Ireland, said, he
recollected to have heard of a relentless judge; he was known by the name
of the Hanging Judge, and was never seen to shed a tear but once, and that
was during the representation of _The Beggar's Opera_, when Macheath got a
_reprieve!_
It was the same judge, we believe, between whom and Mr. Curran the
following pass of wit once took place at table. "Pray, Mr. Curran," said
the judge, "is that hung beef beside you? If it is, I will try it." "If
_you_ try it, my lord," replied Mr. Curran, "it is sure to be hung."
Keep to the Point.--Lord Tenterden contracted such an inveterate habit of
keeping himself and everybody else to the precise matter in hand, that
once, during a circuit dinner, having asked a country magistrate if he
would take venison, and receiving what he deemed an evasive reply, "Thank
you, my lord, I am going to take boiled chicken," his lordship sharply
retorted, "That, sir, is no answer to my question; I ask you again if you
will take venison, and I will trouble you to say yes or no, without further
prevarication."
Longs and Shorts.--There were two barristers at the Irish bar who formed a
singular contrast in their statures. Ninian Mahaffy, Esq., was as much
above the middle size as Mr. Collis was below it. When Lord Redesdale was
Lord Chancellor of Ireland, these two gentlemen chanced to be retained in
the same cause, a short time after his lordship's elevation, and before he
was personally acquainted with the Irish bar. Mr. Collis was opening the
motion, when the lord chancellor observed, "Mr. Collis, when a barrister
addresses the court, he must stand." "I am standing on the bench, my lord,"
said Collis. "I beg a thousand pardons," said his lordship, somewhat
confused. "Sit down, Mr. Mahaffy." "I am sitting, my lord," was the reply
to the confounded chancellor.
The Scotch bar had once to boast in Mr. Erskine, of Cardross, of a pleader
quite as diminutive as Mr. Collis. He had usually a stool brought to him to
stand upon when addressing the court, which gave occasion for a witty
rival once to observe, that "that was one way of rising at the bar."
Lord Kaimes used to relate a story of a man who claimed the honour of his
acquaintance on rather singular grounds. His lordship, when one of the
justiciary judges, returning from the north circuit to Perth, happened one
night to sleep at Dunkeld. The next morning, walking towards the ferry, but
apprehending he had missed his way, he asked a man whom he met to conduct
him. The other answered, with much cordiality, "That I will do with all my
heart, my lord. Does not your lordship remember me? My name's John ----, I
have had the _honour_ to be before your lordship for stealing sheep!" "Oh,
John! I remember you well; and how is your wife? She had the honour to be
before me too, for receiving them, knowing them to be stolen." "At your
lordship's service. We were very lucky; we got off for want of evidence;
and I am still going on in the butcher trade." "Then," replied his
lordship, "we may have the _honour_ of meeting again."
Sergeant Hill, who was much celebrated as a lawyer, and eminently qualified
to find out a case in point on any disputed question, was somewhat
remarkable for absence of mind, the result of that earnestness with which
he devoted himself to his professional duties. On the very day when he was
married, he had an intricate case in his mind, and forgot his engagement,
until reminded of his waiting bride, and that the legal time of performing
the ceremony had nearly elapsed. Being once on circuit, and having occasion
to refer to a law authority, he had recourse as usual to his bag; but, to
the astonishment of the court, instead of a volume of Viner's abridgment,
he took out a specimen candlestick, the property of a Birmingham traveller,
whose bag the learned sergeant had brought into court by mistake.
During the long vacation, the sergeant usually retired to his country seat
at Rowell in Northamptonshire. It happened, during one autumn, that some of
the neighbouring sportsmen, among whom was the present Earl Spencer, being
in pursuit of a fox, Reynard, who was hard pressed, took refuge in the
court-yard of this venerable sage. At this moment the sergeant was reading
a _case in point_, which decided that in a trespass of this kind the owners
of the ground had a right to inflict the punishment of death. Mr. Hill
accordingly gave orders for punishing the fox, as an original trespasser,
which was done instantly. The hunters now arrived with the hounds in full
cry, and the foremost horseman, who anticipated the glory of possessing the
brush, was the first to behold his victim stretched lifeless on the ground,
pinioned to the earth by plebeian pitchforks. The hunters were very anxious
to discover the daring culprit who had presumed to deprive the field and
the pack of their prey; when the venerable sergeant made his appearance,
with his book in his hand, and offered to convince them that execution had
taken place according to legal authority. The sportsmen got outrageous, but
the learned sergeant was not intimidated; he knew the force of his
authorities, and gravely invited the attention of his auditory to a case
from one of the old reporters, that would have puzzled a whole bar of
modern practitioners to controvert. The effect was ludicrous; the
extraordinary appearance of the worthy sergeant, not in his bargown, but in
what these adventurous mortals called a mere bedgown; the quaintness of his
manner, the singularity of the occurrence, and the novelty of the incident,
threw them completely out.
LIBRARIANS.
Budæus, a very learned man, librarian to Francis the First of France, was
one day engaged in deep study, when his servant came running to him in a
great fright, to tell him that the house was on fire. "Go," said he, with
perfect calmness, and hardly raising his eyes from his book, "and inform
your mistress, 'tis her concern, you know I never interfere in domestic
matters."
Knowledge.--The famous Duval, librarian to the Emperor Francis the First,
often used to reply to questions that were put to him, "I do not know." An
ignoramus one day said to him, "But the emperor pays you for _knowing_."
"The emperor," he replied, "pays me for what I know; if he were to pay me
for what I am ignorant of, all the treasures of his empire would not be
sufficient."
Bautru, a celebrated French wit, being in Spain, went to visit the famous
library of the Escurial, where he found a very ignorant librarian. The King
of Spain asked him his opinion of it. "It is an admirable one, indeed,"
said he; "but your majesty should give the man who has the care of it the
administration of your finances."--"Wherefore?" asked the king. "Because,"
replied Bautru, "the man never touches the treasure that is confided to
him."
MAGNANIMITY.
At the siege of one of the strong towns in Flanders, during the wars of
Louis XIV., it was necessary to reconnoitre the point of attack. The danger
was great, and a hundred louis were promised to any one who would undertake
it. Several of the bravest of the soldiers appeared indifferent to the
offer, when a young man stepped forward to undertake the task; he left the
detachment, and remained absent a long time; he was thought killed. While
the officers were deploring his fate, he returned, and gained their
admiration no less by the precision than the _sang froid_ of his recital.
The hundred louis were immediately presented to him. "_Vous vous moquez de
moi, mon général_," was his reply; "_va-t-on là pour de l'argent_."--[You
are jesting with me, general; one does not perform such actions for money.]
Colonel Hawker, who commanded the 14th Light Dragoons in most of the
serious engagements in the Peninsula, having formerly lost an arm in
action, was attended by an orderly man, who held a guiding rein to the
bridle of the colonel's charger; this attendant being slain by his side,
just as the enemy's cavalry had broken the line of the 14th, by a heavy
charge of superior numbers, great slaughter ensued on both sides, when a
French officer immediately opposed to Colonel Hawker, lifted up his sabre,
and was in the act of cutting him down, but observing the loss of his arm,
he instantly dropped the point on the colonel's shoulder, and, bending his
head, passed on. A truly noble adversary!
St. Louis.--Louis IX., after his captivity among the Saracens, was, with
his queen and children, nearly shipwrecked on his return to France, some of
the planks of the vessel having started. He was pressed to go on board
another ship, and so escape the danger, but he refused, saying, "Those that
are with me, most assuredly are as fond of their lives as I can be of mine.
If I quit the ship, they will likewise quit it; and the vessel not being
large enough to receive them, they will all perish. I had rather entrust my
life, and the lives of my wife and children, in the hands of God, than be
the occasion of making so many of my brave subjects suffer."
Magnanimous Rebel.--Sir Phelim O'Neil, one of the leaders in the Irish
rebellion of 1641, while in prison, previous to his trial, was frequently
solicited, by promises of a free pardon, and large rewards, to bear
testimony that the king (Charles the First) had been actively instrumental
in stirring up that rebellion. It was one of the arts of the factions of
that period to throw the odium of the massacre which followed the Irish
rebellion upon Charles; but whatever may have been the political sins of
that unhappy prince, impartial history has not ranked this among the
number. Sir Phelim declared, that he could not, in conscience, charge the
king with any thing of the kind. His trial was drawn out to the length of
several days, that he might be worked upon in that time; but he persisted
with constancy and firmness in rejecting every offer made to him by the
commissioners. Even at the place of execution, the most splendid advantages
were pressed upon him, upon the condition of falsely accusing King Charles
in that point. Men saw with admiration this unfortunate chieftain under all
the terrors of death, and the strongest temptations man could be under,
bravely attesting the king's innocence, and sealing the truth of his
testimony with his blood. When on the ladder, and ready to be thrown off,
two marshals came riding in great haste, and cried aloud, "Stop a little."
Having passed through the, crowd of spectators and guards, one of them
whispered something into the ear of Sir Phelim, who made answer in so loud
a voice, as to be heard by several hundreds of the people. "I thank the
lieutenant-general for the intended mercy; but I declare, good people,
before God and his holy angels, and all of you that hear me, that I never
had any commission from the king for what I have done, in levying, or in
prosecuting this war; and do heartily beg your prayers, all good Catholics
and Christians! that God may be merciful unto me, and forgive me my sins."
On this the guards beat off those that stood near the place of execution,
and in a few minutes Sir Phelim was no more.
Admiral Thurot.--It has been said of the French naval commander Thurot,
that he was strictly honest in circumstances that made the exertion of
common honesty an act of the highest magnanimity. When this officer
appeared on the coast of Scotland, and landed in order to supply his three
vessels with provisions, he paid a liberal price for every thing he wanted,
and behaved with so much affability, that a countryman ventured to complain
to him of an officer, who had taken 50 or 60 guineas from him. The officer,
on being called on to vindicate himself against the charge, acknowledged
the fact, but said, that he had divided the money among his men. Thurot
immediately ordered the officer to give his bill for the money, which he
said should be stopped out of his pay, if they were so fortunate as to
return to France. On another occasion, one of Thurot's officers gave a bill
upon a merchant in France, for some provisions that he had purchased.
Thurot hearing of the circumstance, informed the countryman that the bill
was of no value; and reprimanding the officer severely for the cheat,
compelled him to give another on a merchant, whom he knew would pay the
money. What makes this act of integrity still more striking and
praiseworthy, is, that Thurot's men at this time were so dissatisfied, as
to be ready to break out in open mutiny.
The Chevalier Bayard.--The town of Bresse having revolted against the
French, was attacked, taken, and sacked, with an almost unexampled fury.
The chevalier Bayard, who was wounded at the beginning of the action, was
carried to the house of a person of quality, whom he protected from the
fury of the conquerors, by placing at the door two soldiers, whom he
indemnified with a gift of eight hundred crowns, in lieu of the plunder
they might have lost by their attendance at the door. The impatience of
Bayard to join the army without considering the state of his wound, which
was by no means well, determined him to depart. The mistress of the house
then threw herself at his feet, saying, "The rights of war make you master
of our lives and our possessions, and you have saved our honour. We hope,
however, from your accustomed generosity that you will not treat us with
severity, and that you will be pleased to content yourself with a present
more adapted to our circumstances, than to our inclinations." At the same
time, she presented him with a small box full of ducats.
Bayard, smiling, asked her how many ducats the box contained. "Two thousand
five hundred, my lord," answered the lady, with much emotion; "but if these
will not satisfy you, we will employ all our means to raise more."--"No,
madam," replied the chevalier, "I do not want money: the care you have
taken of me more than repays the services I have done you. I ask nothing
but your friendship; and I conjure you to accept of mine."