THE HEDGEHOG

A “Mixed Double” of young people were contesting a game of lawn tennis at

the Rectory garden party; for the past five-and-twenty years at least

mixed doubles of young people had done exactly the same thing on exactly

the same spot at about the same time of year. The young people changed

and made way for others in the course of time, but very little else

seemed to alter. The present players were sufficiently conscious of the

social nature of the occasion to be concerned about their clothes and

appearance, and sufficiently sport-loving to be keen on the game. Both

their efforts and their appearance came under the fourfold scrutiny of a

quartet of ladies sitting as official spectators on a bench immediately

commanding the court. It was one of the accepted conditions of the

Rectory garden party that four ladies, who usually knew very little about

tennis and a great deal about the players, should sit at that particular

spot and watch the game. It had also come to be almost a tradition that

two ladies should be amiable, and that the other two should be Mrs. Dole

and Mrs. Hatch-Mallard.

“What a singularly unbecoming way Eva Jonelet has taken to doing her hair

in,” said Mrs. Hatch-Mallard; “it’s ugly hair at the best of times, but

she needn’t make it look ridiculous as well. Some one ought to tell

her.”

Eva Jonelet’s hair might have escaped Mrs. Hatch-Mallard’s condemnation

if she could have forgotten the more glaring fact that Eva was Mrs.

Dole’s favourite niece. It would, perhaps, have been a more comfortable

arrangement if Mrs. Hatch-Mallard and Mrs. Dole could have been asked to

the Rectory on separate occasions, but there was only one garden party in

the course of the year, and neither lady could have been omitted from the

list of invitations without hopelessly wrecking the social peace of the

parish.

“How pretty the yew trees look at this time of year,” interposed a lady

with a soft, silvery voice that suggested a chinchilla muff painted by

Whistler.

“What do you mean by this time of year?” demanded Mrs. Hatch-Mallard.

“Yew trees look beautiful at all times of the year. That is their great

charm.”

“Yew trees never look anything but hideous under any circumstances or at

any time of year,” said Mrs. Dole, with the slow, emphatic relish of one

who contradicts for the pleasure of the thing. “They are only fit for

graveyards and cemeteries.”

Mrs. Hatch-Mallard gave a sardonic snort, which, being translated, meant

that there were some people who were better fitted for cemeteries than

for garden parties.

“What is the score, please?” asked the lady with the chinchilla voice.

The desired information was given her by a young gentleman in spotless

white flannels, whose general toilet effect suggested solicitude rather

than anxiety.

“What an odious young cub Bertie Dykson has become!” pronounced Mrs.

Dole, remembering suddenly that Bertie was a favourite with Mrs.

Hatch-Mallard. “The young men of to-day are not what they used to be

twenty years ago.”

“Of course not,” said Mrs. Hatch-Mallard; “twenty years ago Bertie Dykson

was just two years old, and you must expect some difference in appearance

and manner and conversation between those two periods.”

“Do you know,” said Mrs. Dole, confidentially, “I shouldn’t be surprised

if that was intended to be clever.”

“Have you any one interesting coming to stay with you, Mrs. Norbury?”

asked the chinchilla voice, hastily; “you generally have a house party at

this time of year.”

“I’ve got a most interesting woman coming,” said Mrs. Norbury, who had

been mutely struggling for some chance to turn the conversation into a

safe channel; “an old acquaintance of mine, Ada Bleek—”

“What an ugly name,” said Mrs. Hatch-Mallard.

“She’s descended from the de la Bliques, an old Huguenot family of

Touraine, you know.”

“There weren’t any Huguenots in Touraine,” said Mrs. Hatch-Mallard, who

thought she might safely dispute any fact that was three hundred years

old.

“Well, anyhow, she’s coming to stay with me,” continued Mrs. Norbury,

bringing her story quickly down to the present day, “she arrives this

evening, and she’s highly clairvoyante, a seventh daughter of a seventh

daughter, you now, and all that sort of thing.”

“How very interesting,” said the chinchilla voice; “Exwood is just the

right place for her to come to, isn’t it? There are supposed to be

several ghosts there.”

“That is why she was so anxious to come,” said Mrs. Norbury; “she put off

another engagement in order to accept my invitation. She’s had visions

and dreams, and all those sort of things, that have come true in a most

marvellous manner, but she’s never actually seen a ghost, and she’s

longing to have that experience. She belongs to that Research Society,

you know.”

“I expect she’ll see the unhappy Lady Cullumpton, the most famous of all

the Exwood ghosts,” said Mrs. Dole; “my ancestor, you know, Sir Gervase

Cullumpton, murdered his young bride in a fit of jealousy while they were

on a visit to Exwood. He strangled her in the stables with a stirrup

leather, just after they had come in from riding, and she is seen

sometimes at dusk going about the lawns and the stable yard, in a long

green habit, moaning and trying to get the thong from round her throat.

I shall be most interested to hear if your friend sees—”

“I don’t know why she should be expected to see a trashy, traditional

apparition like the so-called Cullumpton ghost, that is only vouched for

by housemaids and tipsy stable-boys, when my uncle, who was the owner of

Exwood, committed suicide there under the most tragical circumstances,

and most certainly haunts the place.”

“Mrs. Hatch-Mallard has evidently never read _Popple’s County History_,”

said Mrs. Dole icily, “or she would know that the Cullumpton ghost has a

wealth of evidence behind it—”

“Oh, Popple!” exclaimed Mrs. Hatch-Mallard scornfully; “any rubbishy old

story is good enough for him. Popple, indeed! Now my uncle’s ghost was

seen by a Rural Dean, who was also a Justice of the Peace. I should

think that would be good enough testimony for any one. Mrs. Norbury, I

shall take it as a deliberate personal affront if your clairvoyante

friend sees any other ghost except that of my uncle.”

“I daresay she won’t see anything at all; she never has yet, you know,”

said Mrs. Norbury hopefully.

“It was a most unfortunate topic for me to have broached,” she lamented

afterwards to the owner of the chinchilla voice; “Exwood belongs to Mrs.

Hatch-Mallard, and we’ve only got it on a short lease. A nephew of hers

has been wanting to live there for some time, and if we offend her in any

way she’ll refuse to renew the lease. I sometimes think these

garden-parties are a mistake.”

The Norburys played bridge for the next three nights till nearly one

o’clock; they did not care for the game, but it reduced the time at their

guest’s disposal for undesirable ghostly visitations.

“Miss Bleek is not likely to be in a frame of mind to see ghosts,” said

Hugo Norbury, “if she goes to bed with her brain awhirl with royal spades

and no trumps and grand slams.”

“I’ve talked to her for hours about Mrs. Hatch-Mallard’s uncle,” said his

wife, “and pointed out the exact spot where he killed himself, and

invented all sorts of impressive details, and I’ve found an old portrait

of Lord John Russell and put it in her room, and told her that it’s

supposed to be a picture of the uncle in middle age. If Ada does see a

ghost at all it certainly ought to be old Hatch-Mallard’s. At any rate,

we’ve done our best.”

The precautions were in vain. On the third morning of her stay Ada Bleek

came down late to breakfast, her eyes looking very tired, but ablaze with

excitement, her hair done anyhow, and a large brown volume hugged under

her arm.

“At last I’ve seen something supernatural!” she exclaimed, and gave Mrs.

Norbury a fervent kiss, as though in gratitude for the opportunity

afforded her.

“A ghost!” cried Mrs. Norbury, “not really!”

“Really and unmistakably!”

“Was it an oldish man in the dress of about fifty years ago?” asked Mrs.

Norbury hopefully.

“Nothing of the sort,” said Ada; “it was a white hedgehog.”

“A white hedgehog!” exclaimed both the Norburys, in tones of disconcerted

astonishment.

“A huge white hedgehog with baleful yellow eyes,” said Ada; “I was lying

half asleep in bed when suddenly I felt a sensation as of something

sinister and unaccountable passing through the room. I sat up and looked

round, and there, under the window, I saw an evil, creeping thing, a sort

of monstrous hedgehog, of a dirty white colour, with black, loathsome

claws that clicked and scraped along the floor, and narrow, yellow eyes

of indescribable evil. It slithered along for a yard or two, always

looking at me with its cruel, hideous eyes, then, when it reached the

second window, which was open it clambered up the sill and vanished. I

got up at once and went to the window; there wasn’t a sign of it

anywhere. Of course, I knew it must be something from another world, but

it was not till I turned up Popple’s chapter on local traditions that I

realised what I had seen.”

She turned eagerly to the large brown volume and read: “’Nicholas

Herison, an old miser, was hung at Batchford in 1763 for the murder of a

farm lad who had accidentally discovered his secret hoard. His ghost is

supposed to traverse the countryside, appearing sometimes as a white owl,

sometimes as a huge white hedgehog.”

“I expect you read the Popple story overnight, and that made you _think_

you saw a hedgehog when you were only half awake,” said Mrs. Norbury,

hazarding a conjecture that probably came very near the truth.

Ada scouted the possibility of such a solution of her apparition.

“This must be hushed up,” said Mrs. Norbury quickly; “the servants—”

“Hushed up!” exclaimed Ada, indignantly; “I’m writing a long report on it

for the Research Society.”

It was then that Hugo Norbury, who is not naturally a man of brilliant

resource, had one of the really useful inspirations of his life.

“It was very wicked of us, Miss Bleek,” he said, “but it would be a shame

to let it go further. That white hedgehog is an old joke of ours;

stuffed albino hedgehog, you know, that my father brought home from

Jamaica, where they grow to enormous size. We hide it in the room with a

string on it, run one end of the string through the window; then we pull

if from below and it comes scraping along the floor, just as you’ve

described, and finally jerks out of the window. Taken in heaps of

people; they all read up Popple and think it’s old Harry Nicholson’s

ghost; we always stop them from writing to the papers about it, though.

That would be carrying matters too far.”

Mrs. Hatch-Mallard renewed the lease in due course, but Ada Bleek has

never renewed her friendship.

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