That short discourse which we lately had concerning the Clergy, continues
so fresh in your mind, that, I perceive by your last, you are more than a
little troubled to observe that Disesteem that lies upon several of those
holy men. Your good wishes for the Church, I know, are very strong and
unfeigned; and your hopes of the World receiving much more advantage and
better advice from some of the Clergy, than usually it is found by
experience to do, are neither needless nor impossible.
And as I have always been a devout admirer as well as strict observer of
your actions; so I have constantly taken a great delight to concur with
you in your very thoughts. Whereupon it is, Sir, that I have spent some
few hours upon that which was the occasion of your last letter, and the
subject of our late discourse.
And before, Sir, I enter upon telling you what are my apprehensions; I
must most heartily profess that, for my own part, I did never think,
since at all I understood the excellency and perfection of a Church, but
that Ours, now lately Restored, as formerly Established, does far outgo,
as to all Christian ends and purposes, either the pomp and bravery of
Rome herself, or the best of Free Spiritual States [_Nonconformists_].
But if so be, it be allowable (where we have so undoubtedly learned and
honourable a Clergy) to suppose that some of that sacred profession might
possibly have attained to a greater degree of esteem and usefulness to the
World: then I hope what has thus long hindered so great and desirable a
blessing to the nation, may be modestly guessed at! either without giving
any wilful offence to the present Church; or any great trouble, dear Sir,
to yourself. And, if I be not very much mistaken, whatever has
heretofore, or does at present, lessen the value of our Clergy, or render
it in any degree less serviceable to the World than might be reasonably
hoped; may be easily referred to two very plain things--the IGNORANCE of
some, and the POVERTY of others of the Clergy.
And first, as to _the IGNORANCE of some of our Clergy_.
If we would make a search to purpose, we must go as deep as the very
Beginnings of Education; and, doubtless, may lay a great part of our
misfortunes to the old-fashioned methods and discipline of Schooling
itself: upon the well ordering of which, although much of the improvement
of our Clergy cannot be denied mainly to depend: yet by reason this is so
well known to yourself, as also that there have been many of undoubted
learning and experience, that have set out their several models for this
purpose; I shall therefore only mention such Loss of Time and Abuse of
Youth as is most remarkable and mischievous, and as could not be
conveniently omitted in a Discourse of this nature, though ever so short.
And first of all, it were certainly worth the considering, Whether it be
unavoidably necessary to keep lads to 16 or 17 years of age, _in pure
slavery to a few Latin or Greek words_? or Whether it may not be more
convenient, especially if we call to mind their natural inclinations to
ease and idleness, and how hardly they are persuaded of the excellency of
the liberal Arts and Sciences (any further than the smart of the last
piece of discipline is fresh in their memories), Whether, I say, it be
not more proper and beneficial to mix with those unpleasant tasks and
drudgeries, something that, in probability, might not only take much
better with them, but might also be much easier obtained?
As, suppose some part of time was allotted them, for the reading of some
innocent English Authors! where they need not go, every line, so
unwillingly to a tormenting Dictionary, and whereby they might come in a
short time, to apprehend common sense, and to begin to judge what is
true. For you shall have lads that are arch knaves at the Nominative
Case, and that have a notable quick eye at spying out of the Verb; who,
for want of reading such common and familiar books, shall understand no
more of what is very plain and easy, than a well educated dog or horse.
Or suppose they were taught, as they might much easier be than what is
commonly offered to them, the principles of Arithmetic, Geometry, and
such alluring parts of Learning. As these things undoubtedly would be
much more useful, so much more delightful to them, than to be tormented
with a tedious story how PHAETON broke his neck, or how many nuts and
apples TITYRUS had for his supper.
For, most certainly, youths, if handsomely dealt with, are much
inclinable to emulation, and to a very useful esteem of glory; and more
especially, if it be the reward of knowledge: and therefore, if such
things were carefully and discreetly propounded to them, wherein they
might not only earnestly contend amongst themselves, but might also see
how far they outskill the rest of the World, a lad hereby would think
himself high and mighty; and would certainly take great delight in
contemning the next unlearned mortal he meets withal.
But if, instead hereof, you diet him with nothing but with Rules and
Exceptions, with tiresome repetitions of _Amo_ and [Greek: _Tupto_],
setting a day also apart also to recite _verbatim_ all the burdensome
task of the foregoing week (which I am confident is usually as dreadful
as an old Parliament Fast) we must needs believe that such a one, thus
managed, will scarce think to prove immortal, by such performances and
accomplishments as these.
You know very well, Sir, that lads in general have but a kind of ugly and
odd conception of Learning; and look upon it as such a starving thing, and
unnecessary perfection, especially as it is usually dispensed out unto
them, that Nine-pins or Span-counter are judged much more heavenly
employments! And therefore what pleasure, do we think, can such a one
take in being bound to get against breakfast, two or three hundred
Rumblers out of HOMER, in commendation of ACHILLES's toes, or the
Grecians' boots; or to have measured out to him, very early in the
morning, fifteen or twenty well laid on lashes, for letting a syllable
slip too soon, or hanging too long on it? Doubtless instant execution
upon such grand miscarriages as these, will eternally engage him to a
most admirable opinion of the Muses!
Lads, certainly, ought to be won by all possible arts and devices: and
though many have invented fine pictures and games, to cheat them into the
undertaking of unreasonable burdens; yet this, by no means, is such a
lasting temptation as the propounding of that which in itself is pleasant
and alluring. For we shall find very many, though of no excelling
quickness, will soon perceive the design of the landscape; and so,
looking through the veil, will then begin to take as little delight in
those pretty contrivances, as in getting by heart three or four leaves of
ungayed nonsense.
Neither seems the stratagem of Money to be so prevailing and catching, as
a right down offer of such books which are ingenious and convenient: there
being but very few so intolerably careful of their bellies, as to look
upon the hopes of a cake or a few apples, to be a sufficient recompense,
for cracking their pates with a heap of independent words.
I am not sensible that I have said anything in disparagement of those two
famous tongues, the Greek and Latin; there being much reason to value them
beyond others, because the best of Human Learning has been delivered unto
us in those languages. But he that worships them, purely out of honour to
Rome and Athens, having little or no respect to the usefulness and
excellency of the books themselves, as many do: it is a sign he has a
great esteem and reverence of antiquity; but I think him, by no means
comparable, for happiness, to him who catches frogs or hunts butterflies.
That some languages therefore ought to be studied is in a manner
absolutely necessary: unless all were brought to one; which would be the
happiest thing that the World could wish for!
But whether the beginning of them might not be more insensibly instilled,
and more advantageously obtained by reading philosophical as well as other
ingenious Authors, than _Janua linguarum_, crabbed poems, and
cross-grained prose, as it has been heretofore by others: so it ought to
be afresh considered by all well-wishers, either to the Clergy or
Learning.
I know where it is the fashion of some schools, to prescribe to a lad,
for his evening refreshment, out of COMMENIUS, all the Terms of Art
[_technical terms_] belonging to Anatomy, Mathematics, or some such piece
of Learning. Now, is it not a very likely thing, that a lad should take
most absolute delight in conquering such a pleasant task; where, perhaps,
he has two or three hundred words to keep in mind, with a very small
proportion of sense thereunto belonging: whereas the use and full meaning
of all those difficult terms would have been most insensibly obtained, by
leisurely reading in particular, this or the other science?
Is it not also likely to be very savoury, and of comfortable use to one
that can scarce distinguish between Virtue and Vice, to be tasked with
high and moral poems? It is usually said by those that are intimately
acquainted with him, that HOMER's _Iliad_ and _Odyssey_ contain,
mystically, all the Moral Law for certain, if not a great part of the
Gospel (I suppose much after that rate that RABELAIS said his _Gargantua_
contained all the Ten Commandments!); but perceivable only to those that
have a poetical discerning spirit: with which gift, I suppose, few at
school are so early qualified.
Those admirable verses, Sir, of yours, both English and others, which you
have sometimes favoured me with a sight of, will not suffer me to be so
sottish as to slight and undervalue so great and noble an accomplishment.
But the committing of such high and brave sensed poems to a schoolboy
(whose main business is to search out cunningly the Antecedent and the
Relative; to lie at catch for a spruce Phrase, a Proverb, or a quaint and
pithy Sentence) is not only to very little purpose, but that having
gargled only those elegant books at school, this serves them instead of
reading them afterwards; and does, in a manner, prevent their being
further looked into. So that all improvement, whatsoever it be, that may
be reaped out of the best and choicest poets, is for the most part
utterly lost, in that a time is usually chosen of reading them, when
discretion is much wanting to gain thence any true advantage. Thus that
admirable and highly useful morality, TULLY's _Offices_, because it is a
book commonly construed at school, is generally afterwards so contemned
by Academics, that it is a long hour's work to convince them that it is
worthy of being looked into again; because they reckon it as a book read
over at school, and, no question! notably digested.
If, therefore the ill methods of schooling do not only occasion a great
loss of time there, but also do beget in lads a very odd opinion and
apprehension of Learning, and much disposes them to be idle when they are
got a little free from the usual severities; and that the hopes of more or
less improvement in the Universities very much depend hereupon: it is,
without all doubt, the great concernment of all that wish to the Church,
that such care and regard be had to the management of schools, that the
Clergy be not so much obstructed in their first attempts and preparations
to Learning.
I cannot, Sir, possibly be so ignorant as not to consider that what has
been now offered upon this argument, has not only been largely insisted
on by others; but also refers not particularly to the Clergy (whose
welfare and esteem, I seem at present in a special manner solicitous
about), but in general to all learned professions, and therefore might
reasonably have been omitted: which certainly I had done, had not I
called to mind that of those many that propound to themselves Learning
for a profession, there is scarce one in ten but that his lot, choice, or
necessity determines him to the study of Divinity.
Thus, Sir, I have given you my thoughts concerning the orders and customs
of common schools. A consideration, in my apprehension, not slightly to be
weighed: being that upon which to me seems very much to depend the
learning and wisdom of the Clergy, and the prosperity of the Church.
The next unhappiness that seems to have hindered some of our Clergy from
arriving to that degree of understanding that becomes such a holy office,
whereby their company and discourses might be much more, than they
commonly are, valued and desired, is the inconsiderate sending of all
kinds of lads to the Universities; let their parts be ever so low and
pitiful, the instructions they have lain under ever so mean and
contemptible, and the purses of their friends ever so short to maintain
them there. If they have but the commendation of some lamentable and
pitiful Construing Master, it passes for sufficient evidence that they
will prove persons very eminent in the Church. That is to say, if a lad
has but a lusty and well bearing memory, this being the usual and almost
only thing whereby they judge of their abilities; if he can sing over
very tunably three or four stanzas of LILLY's Poetry; be very quick and
ready to tell what is Latin for all the instruments belonging to his
father's shop; if presently [_at sight_], upon the first scanning, he
knows a Spondee from a Dactyl, and can fit a few of those same, without
any sense, to his fingers' ends; if, lastly, he can say perfectly by
heart his Academic Catechism, in pure and passing Latin, _i.e._, "What is
his Name?" "Where went he to School?" and "What author is he best and
chiefly skilled in?" "A forward boy!" cries the Schoolmaster: "a very
pregnant child! Ten thousand pities, but he should be a Scholar; he
proves a brave Clergyman, I'll warrant you!"
Away to the University he must needs go! Then for a little Logic, a
little Ethics, and, GOD knows! a very little of everything else! And the
next time you meet him, he is in the pulpit!
Neither ought the mischief which arises from small country schools to
pass unconsidered. The little mighty Governors whereof, having, for the
most part, not sucked in above six or seven mouthsful of University air,
must yet, by all means, suppose themselves so notably furnished with all
sorts of instructions, and are so ambitious of the glory of being counted
able to send forth, now and then, to Oxford or Cambridge, from the little
house by the Churchyard's side, one of their ill-educated disciples, that
to such as these ofttimes is committed the guidance and instruction of a
whole parish: whose parts and improvements duly considered, will scarce
render them fit Governors of a small Grammar Castle.
Not that it is necessary to believe, that there never was a learned or
useful person in the Church, but such whose education had been at
Westminster or St. Paul's. But, whereas most of the small schools, being
by their first founders designed only for the advantage of poor parish
children, and also that the stipend is usually so small and discouraging
that very few who can do much more than teach to write and read, will
accept of such preferment: for these to pretend to rig out their small
ones for a University life, proves ofttimes a very great inconvenience
and damage to the Church.
And as many such Dismal Things are sent forth thus, with very small
tackling; so not a few are predestinated thither by their friends, from
the foresight of a good benefice. If there be rich pasture, profitable
customs, and that HENRY VIII. has taken out no toll, the Holy Land is a
very good land, and affords abundance of milk and honey! Far be it from
their consciences, the considering whether the lad is likely to be
serviceable to the Church, or to make wiser and better any of his
parishioners!
All this may seem, at first sight, to be easily avoided by a strict
examination at the Universities; and so returning by the next carrier,
all that was sent up not fit for their purpose. But because many of their
relations are ofttimes persons of an inferior condition; and who (either
by imprudent counsellors, or else out of a tickling conceit of their sons
being, forsooth, a University Scholar) have purposely omitted all other
opportunities of a livelihood; to return such, would seem a very sharp
and severe disappointment.
Possibly, it might be much better, if parents themselves or their
friends, would be much more wary of determining their children to the
trade of Learning. And if some of undoubted knowledge and judgement,
would offer their advice; and speak their hopes of a lad, about 13 or 14
years of age (which, I will assure you, Sir, may be done without
conjuring!); and never omit to inquire, Whether his relations are able
and willing to maintain him seven years at the University, or see some
certain way of being continued there so long, by the help of friends or
others, as also upon no such conditions as shall, in likelihood, deprive
him of the greatest parts of his studies?
For it is a common fashion of a great many to compliment and invite
inferior people's children to the University, and there pretend to make
such an all bountiful provision for them, as they shall not fail of
coming to a very eminent degree of Learning; but when they come there,
they shall save a servant's wages. They took therefore, heretofore, a
very good method to prevent Sizars overheating their brains. Bed-making,
chamber-sweeping, and water-fetching were doubtless great preservatives
against too much vain philosophy. Now certainly such pretended favours
and kindnesses as these, are the most right down discourtesies in the
World. For it is ten times more happy, both for the lad and the Church,
to be a corn-cutter or tooth-drawer, to make or mend shoes, or to be of
any inferior profession; than to be invited to, and promised the
conveniences of, a learned education; and to have his name only stand
airing upon the College Tables [_Notice-boards_], and his chief business
shall be, to buy eggs and butter.
Neither ought lads' parts, before they be determined to the University,
be only considered, and the likelihood of being disappointed in their
studies; but also abilities or hopes of being maintained until they be
Masters of Arts. For whereas 200, for the most part, yearly Commence
[_Matriculate_], scarce the fifth part of these continue after their
taking the First Degree [_B.A._]. As for the rest, having exactly
learned, _Quid est Logica_? and _Quot sunt Virtutes Morales_? down they
go, by the first carrier, on the top of the pack, into the West, or
North, or elsewhere, according as their estates lie; with BURGESDICIUS,
EUSTACHIUS, and such great helps of Divinity; and then, for propagation
of the Gospel! By that time they can say the _Predicaments_ and _Creed_;
they have their choice of preaching or starving! Now what a Champion of
Truth is such a thing likely to be! What a huge blaze he makes in the
Church! What a Raiser of Doctrines! What a Confounder of Heresies! What
an able Interpreter of hard Places! What a Resolver of Cases of
Conscience! and what a prudent guide must he needs be to all his parish!
You may possibly think, Sir, that this so early preaching might be easily
avoided, by withholding Holy Orders; the Church having very prudently
constituted in her _Canons_, that none under twenty-three years of age,
which is the usual age after seven years being at the University, should
be admitted to that great employment.
This indeed might seem to do some service, were it carefully observed;
and were there not a thing to be got, called a _Dispensation_, which will
presently [_at once_] make you as old as you please.
But if you will, Sir, we will suppose that Orders were strictly denied to
all, unless qualified according to _Canon_, I cannot foresee any other
remedy but that most of those University youngsters must fall to the
parish, and become a town charge until they be of spiritual age. For
Philosophy is a very idle thing, when one is cold! and a small _System of
Divinity_, though it be WOLLEBIUS himself, is not sufficient when one is
hungry!
What then shall we do with them? and where shall we dispose of them,
until they come to a holy ripeness?
May we venture them into the Desk to read _Service_? That cannot be,
because not capable! Besides, the tempting Pulpit usually stands too
near. Or shall we trust them in some good Gentleman's house, there to
perform holy things? With all my heart! so that they may not be called
down from their studies to say Grace to every Health; that they may have
a little better wages than the Cook or Butler; as also that there be a
Groom in the house, besides the Chaplain (for sometimes to the £10 a
year, they crowd [in] the looking after couple of geldings): and that he
may not be sent from table, picking his teeth, and sighing with his hat
under his arm; whilst the Knight and my Lady eat up the tarts and
chickens!
It may be also convenient, if he were suffered to speak now and then in
the Parlour, besides at Grace and Prayer time; and that my cousin ABIGAIL
and he sit not too near one another at meals, nor be presented together to
the little vicarage!
All this, Sir, must be thought on! For, in good earnest, a person at all
thoughtful of himself and conscience, had much better choose to live with
nothing but beans and pease pottage, so that he might have the command of
his thoughts and time; than to have his Second and Third Courses, and to
obey the unreasonable humours of some families.
And as some think two or three years' continuance in the University, to
be time sufficient for being very great Instruments in the Church: so
others we have, so moderate as to count that a solemn admission and a
formal paying of College Detriments, without the trouble of Philosophical
discourses, disputations, and the like, are virtues that will influence as
far as Newcastle, and improve though at ever such a distance.
So strangely possessed are people in general, with the easiness and small
preparation that are requisite to the undertaking of the Ministry, that
whereas in other professions, they plainly see, what considerable time is
spent before they have any hopes of arriving to skill enough to practise
with any confidence what they have designed; yet to preach to ordinary
people, and govern a country parish, is usually judged such an easy
performance, that anybody counts himself fit for the employment. We find
very few so unreasonably confident of their parts, as to profess either
Law or Physic, without either a considerable continuance in some of the
Inns of Courts, or an industrious search in herbs, Anatomy, Chemistry,
and the like, unless it be only to make a bond [_bandage_] or give a
glyster [_an injection_]. But as for "the knack of Preaching" as they
call it, that is such a very easy attainment, that he is counted dull to
purpose, that is not able, at a very small warning, to fasten upon any
text of Scripture, and to tear and tumble it, till the glass [_the
hourglass on the pulpit_] be out.
Many, I know very well, are forced to discontinue [_at College_], having
neither stock [_capital_] of their own, nor friends to maintain them in
the University. But whereas a man's profession and employment in this
world is very much in his own, or in the choice of such who are most
nearly concerned for him; he therefore, that foresees that he is not
likely to have the advantage of a continued education, he had much better
commit himself to an approved-of cobbler or tinker, wherein he may be duly
respected according to his office and condition of life; than to be only a
disesteemed pettifogger or empiric in Divinity.
By this time, Sir, I hope you begin to consider what a great disadvantage
it has been to the Church and Religion, the mere venturous and
inconsiderate determining of Youths to the profession of Learning.
There is still one thing, by very few, at all minded, that ought also not
to be overlooked: and that is, a good constitution and health of body. And
therefore discreet and wise physicians ought also to be consulted, before
an absolute resolve be made to live the Life of the Learned. For he that
has strength enough to buy and bargain, may be of a very unfit habit of
body to sit still so much, as, in general, is requisite to a competent
degree of Learning. For although reading and thinking break neither legs
nor arms; yet, certainly, there is nothing that flags the spirits,
disorders the blood, and enfeebles the whole body of Man, as intense
studies.
As for him that rives blocks or carries packs, there is no great expense
of parts, no anxiety of mind, no great intellectual pensiveness. Let him
but wipe his forehead, and he is perfectly recovered! But he that has
many languages to remember, the nature of almost the whole world to
consult, many histories, Fathers, and Councils to search into; if the
fabric of his body be not strong and healthful, you will soon find him as
thin as a piece of metaphysics, and look as piercing as a School subtilty.
This, Sir, could not be conveniently omitted; not only because many are
very careless in this point, and, at a venture, determine their young
relations to Learning: but because, for the most part, if, amongst many,
there be but one of all the family that is weak and sickly, that is
languishing and consumptive; this, of all the rest, as counted not fit
for any coarse employment, shall be picked out as a Choice Vessel for the
Church! Whereas, most evidently, he is much more able to dig daily in the
mines, than to set cross-legged, musing upon his book.
I am very sensible, how obvious it might be, here, to hint that this so
curious and severe Inquiry would much hinder the practice, and abate the
flourishing of the Universities: as also, there have been several, and
are still, many Living Creatures in the world, who, whilst young, being
of a very slow and meek apprehension, have yet afterward cheered up into
a great briskness, and become masters of much reason. And others there
have been, who, although forced to a short continuance in the University,
and that ofttimes interrupted by unavoidable services, have yet, by
singular care and industry, proved very famous in their generation. And
lastly, some also, of very feeble and crazy constitutions in their
childhood, have out-studied their distempers, and have become very
healthful and serviceable in the Church.
As for the flourishing, Sir, of the Universities--what has been before
said, aims not in the least at Gentlemen, whose coming thither is chiefly
for the hopes of single [_personal_] improvement; and whose estates do
free them from the necessity of making a gain of Arts and Sciences: but
only at such as intend to make Learning their profession, as well as
[their] accomplishment. So that our Schools may be still as full of
flourishings, of fine clothes, rich gowns, and future benefactors, as
ever.
And suppose we do imagine, as it is necessary we should, that the number
should be a little lessened; this surely will not abate the true
splendour of a University in any man's opinion, but his who reckons the
flourishing thereof, rather from the multitude of mere gowns than from
the Ingenuity and Learning of those that wear them: no more than we have
reason to count the flourishing of the Church from that vast number of
people that crowd into Holy Orders, rather than from those learned and
useful persons that defend her Truths, and manifest her Ways.
But I say, I do not see any perfect necessity that our Schools should
hereupon be thinned and less frequented: having said nothing against the
Multitude, but the _indiscreet choice_. If therefore, instead of such,
either of inferior parts or a feeble constitution, or of unable friends;
there were picked out those that were of a tolerable ingenuity [_natural
capacity_], of a study-bearing body, and had good hopes of being
continued; as hence there is nothing to hinder our Universities from
being full, so likewise from being of great credit and learning.
Not to deny, then, but that, now and then, there has been a lad of very
submissive parts, and perhaps no great share of time allowed him for his
studies, who has proved, beyond all expectation, brave and glorious: yet,
surely, we are not to over-reckon this so rare a hit, as to think that one
such proving lad should make recompense and satisfaction for those many
"weak ones," as the common people love to phrase them, that are in the
Church. And that no care ought to be taken, no choice made, no
maintenance provided or considered; because (now and then in an Age) one,
miraculously, beyond all hopes, proves learned and useful; is a practice,
whereby never greater mischiefs and disesteem have been brought upon the
Clergy.
I have, in short, Sir, run over what seemed to me, the First Occasions of
that Small Learning that is to be found amongst some of the Clergy. I
shall now pass from Schooling to the Universities.
I am not so unmindful of that devotion which I owe to those places, nor
of that great esteem I profess to have of the Guides and Governors
thereof, as to go about to prescribe new Forms and Schemes of Education;
where Wisdom has laid her top-stone. Neither shall I here examine which
Philosophy, the Old or New, makes the best sermons. It is hard to say,
that exhortations can be to _no_ purpose, if the preacher believes that
the earth turns round! or that his reproofs can take _no_ effect, unless
he will suppose a vacuum! There have been good sermons, no question! made
in the days of _Materia Prima_ and Occult Qualities: and there are,
doubtless, still good discourses now, under the reign of Atoms.
There are but two things, wherein I count the Clergy chiefly concerned,
as to University Improvements, that, at present, I shall make Inquiry
into.
And the first is this: Whether or not it were not highly useful,
especially for the Clergy who are supposed to speak English to the
people, that _English Exercises were imposed upon lads_, if not in Public
Schools, yet at least privately. Not but that I am abundantly satisfied
that Latin (O Latin! it is the all in all! and the very cream of the
jest!); as also, that Oratory is the same in all languages, the same
rules being observed, the same method, the same arguments and arts of
persuasion: but yet, it seems somewhat beyond the reach of ordinary youth
so to apprehend those general Laws as to make a just and allowable use of
them in all languages, unless exercised particularly in them.
Now we know the language that the very learned part of this nation must
trust to live by, unless It be to make a bond [_bandage_] or prescribe a
purge (which possibly may not oblige or work so well in any other
language as Latin) is the English: and after a lad has taken his leave of
Madame University, GOD bless him! he is not likely to deal afterwards with
much Latin; unless it be to checker [_variegate_] a sermon, or to say
_Salveto_! to some travelling _Dominatio vestra_. Neither is it enough to
say, that the English is the language with which we are swaddled and
rocked asleep; and therefore there needs none of this artificial and
superadded care. For there be those that speak very well, plainly, and to
the purpose; and yet write most pernicious and fantastical stuff: thinking
that whatsoever is written must be more than ordinary, must be beyond the
guise [_manner_] of common speech, must savour of reading and Learning,
though it be altogether needless, and perfectly ridiculous.
Neither ought we to suppose it sufficient that English books be
frequently read, because there be of all sorts, good and bad; and the
worst are likely to be admired by Youth more than the best: unless
Exercises be required of lads; whereby it may be guessed what their
judgement is, where they be mistaken, and what authors they propound to
themselves for imitation. For by this means, they may be corrected and
advised early, according as occasion shall require: which, if not done,
their ill style will be so confirmed, their improprieties of speech will
become so natural, that it will be a very hard matter to stir or alter
their fashion of writing.
It is very curious to observe what delicate letters, your young students
write! after they have got a little smack of University learning. In what
elaborate heights, and tossing nonsense, will they greet a right down
English father, or country friend! If there be a plain word in it, and
such as is used at home, this "tastes not," say they, "of education among
philosophers!" and is counted damnable duncery and want of fancy. Because
"Your loving friend" or "humble servant" is a common phrase in country
letters; therefore the young Epistler is "Yours, to the Antipodes!" or at
least "to the Centre of the earth!": and because ordinary folks "love" and
"respect" you; therefore you are to him, "a Pole Star!" "a Jacob's Staff!"
"a Loadstone!" and "a damask Rose!"
And the misery of it is, that this pernicious accustomed way of
expression does not only, ofttimes, go along with them to their benefice,
but accompanies them to the very grave.
And, for the most part, an ordinary cheesemonger or plum-seller, that
scarce[ly] ever heard of a University, shall write much better sense, and
more to the purpose than these young philosophers, who injudiciously
hunting only for great words, make themselves learnedly ridiculous.
Neither can it be easily apprehended, how the use of English Exercises
should any ways hinder the improvement in the Latin tongue; but rather be
much to its advantage: and this may be easily believed, considering what
dainty stuff is usually produced for a Latin entertainment! Chicken broth
is not thinner than that which is commonly offered for a Piece of most
pleading and convincing Sense!
For, I will but suppose an Academic youngster to be put upon a Latin
Oration. Away he goes presently to his magazine of collected phrases! He
picks out all the Glitterings he can find. He hauls in all Proverbs,
"Flowers," Poetical snaps [_snatches_], Tales out of the _Dictionary_, or
else ready Latined to his hand, out of LYCOSTHENES.
This done, he comes to the end of the table, and having made a submissive
leg [_made a submissive bow_] and a little admired [_gazed at_] the
number, and understanding countenances of his auditors: let the subject
be what it will, he falls presently into a most lamentable complaint of
his insufficiency and tenuity [_slenderness_] that he, poor thing! "hath
no acquaintance with above a Muse and a half!" and "that he never drank
above six quarts of Helicon!" and you "have put him here upon such a
task" (perhaps the business is only, Which is the nobler creature, a Flea
or a Louse?) "that would much better fit some old soaker at Parnassus,
than his sipping unexperienced bibbership." Alas, poor child! he is
"sorry, at the very soul! that he has no better speech! and wonders in
his heart, that you will lose so much time as to hear him! for he has
neither squibs nor fireworks, stars nor glories! The cursed carrier lost
his best Book of Phrases; and the malicious mice and rats eat up all his
_Pearls_ and _Golden Sentences_."
Then he tickles over, a little, the skirts of the business. By and by,
for similitude from the Sun and Moon, or if they be not at leisure, from
"the grey-eyed Morn," or "a shady grove," or "a purling stream."
This done, he tells you that "_Barnaby Bright_ would be much too short,
for him to tell you all that he could say": and so, "fearing he should
break the thread of your patience," he concludes.
Now it seems, Sir, very probable, that if lads did but first of all,
determine in English what they intended to say in Latin; they would, of
themselves, soon discern the triflingness of such Apologies, the
pitifulness of their Matter, and the impertinency of their Tales and
Fancies: and would (according to their subject, age, and parts) offer
that which would be much more manly, and towards tolerable sense.
And if I may tell you, Sir, what I really think, most of that
ridiculousness, of those phantastical phrases, harsh and sometimes
blasphemous metaphors, abundantly foppish similitudes, childish and empty
transitions, and the like, so commonly uttered out of pulpits, and so
fatally redounding to the discredit of the Clergy, may, in a great
measure, be charged upon the want of that, which we have here so much
contended for.
The second Inquiry that may be made is this: _Whether or not Punning,
Quibbling, and that which they call Joquing_ [joking], _and such
delicacies of Wit_, highly admired in some Academic Exercises, _might not
be very conveniently omitted_?
For one may desire but to know this one thing: In what Profession shall
that sort of Wit prove of advantage? As for Law, where nothing but the
most reaching subtility and the closest arguing is allowed of; it is not
to be imagined that blending now and then a piece of a dry verse, and
wreathing here and there an odd Latin Saying into a dismal jingle, should
give Title to an estate, or clear out an obscure evidence! And as little
serviceable can it be to Physic, which is made up of severe Reason and
well tried Experiments!
And as for Divinity, in this place I shall say no more, but that those
usually that have been Rope Dancers in the Schools, ofttimes prove Jack
Puddings in the Pulpit.
For he that in his youth has allowed himself this liberty of Academic
Wit; by this means he has usually so thinned his judgement, becomes so
prejudiced against sober sense, and so altogether disposed to trifling
and jingling; that, so soon as he gets hold of a text, he presently
thinks he has catched one of his old School Questions; and so falls a
flinging it out of one hand into another! tossing it this way, and that!
lets it run a little upon the line, then "_tanutus_! high jingo! come
again!" here catching at a word! there lie nibbling and sucking at an
_and_, a _by_, a _quis_ or a _quid_, a _sic_ or a _sicut_! and thus
minces the Text so small that his parishioners, until he _rendezvous_
[_reassemble_] it again, can scarce tell, what is become of it.
But "Shall we debar Youth of such an innocent and harmless recreation, of
such a great quickener of Parts and promoter of sagacity?"
As for the first, its innocency of being allowed of for a time; I am so
far from that persuasion that, from what has been before hinted, I count
it perfectly contagious! and as a thing that, for the most part, infects
the whole life, and influences most actions! For he that finds himself to
have the right knack of letting off a joque, and of pleasing the Humsters;
he is not only very hardly brought off from admiring those goodly
applauses, and heavenly shouts; but it is ten to one! if he directs not
the whole bent of his studies to such idle and contemptible books as
shall only furnish him with materials for a laugh; and so neglects all
that should inform his Judgement and Reason, and make him a man of sense
and reputation in this world.
And as for the pretence of making people sagacious, and pestilently
witty; I shall only desire that the nature of that kind of Wit may be
considered! which will be found to depend upon some such fooleries as
these--
As, first of all, the lucky ambiguity of some word or sentence.
O, what a happiness is it! and how much does a youngster count
himself beholden to the stars! that should help him to such a
taking jest! And whereas there be so many thousand words in the
World, and that he should luck upon the right one! that was so
very much to his purpose, and that at the explosion, made such a
goodly report!
Or else they rake LILLY's _Grammar_; and if they can but find two
or three letters of any name in any of the _Rules_ or _Examples_
of that good man's Works; it is as very a piece of Wit as any has
passed in the Town since the King came in [1660]!
O, how the Freshmen will skip, to hear one of those lines well
laughed at, that they have been so often yerked [_chided_] for!
It is true, such things as these go for Wit so long as they continue in
Latin; but what dismally shrimped things would they appear, if turned
into English! And if we search into what was, or might be pretended; we
shall find the advantages of Latin-Wit to be very small and slender, when
it comes into the World. I mean not only among strict Philosophers and Men
of mere Notions, or amongst all-damning and illiterate HECTORS; but
amongst those that are truly ingenious and judicious Masters of Fancy. We
shall find that a quotation out of _Qui mihi_, an Axiom out of Logic, a
Saying of a Philosopher, or the like, though managed with some quickness
and applied with some seeming ingenuity, will not, in our days, pass, or
be accepted, for Wit.
For we must know that, as we are now in an Age of great Philosophers and
Men of Reason, so of great quickness and fancy! and that Greek and Latin,
which heretofore (though never so impertinently fetched in) was counted
admirable, because it had a learned twang; yet, now, such stuff, being
out of fashion, is esteemed but very bad company!
For the World is now, especially in discourse, for One Language! and he
that has somewhat in his mind of Greek and Latin, is requested,
now-a-days, "to be civil, and translate it into English, for the benefit
of the company!" And he that has made it his whole business to accomplish
himself for the applause of boys, schoolmasters, and the easiest of
Country Divines; and has been shouldered out of the Cockpit for his Wit:
when he comes into the World, is the most likely person to be kicked out
of the company, for his pedantry and overweening opinion of himself.
And, were it necessary, it is an easy matter to appeal to Wits, both
ancient and modern, that (beyond all controversy) have been sufficiently
approved of, that never, I am confident! received their improvements by
employing their time in Puns and Quibbles. There is the prodigious
LUCIAN, the great Don [_QUIXOTE_] of Mancha; and there are many now
living, Wits of our own, who never, certainly, were at all inspired from
a _Tripus_'s, _Terras-filius_'s, or _Praevarecator_'s speech.
I have ventured, Sir, thus far, not to find fault with; but only to
inquire into an ancient custom or two of the Universities; wherein the
Clergy seem to be a little concerned, as to their education there.
I shall now look on them as beneficed, and consider their preaching.
Wherein I pretend to give no rules, having neither any gift at it, nor
authority to do it: but only shall make some conjectures at those useless
and ridiculous things commonly uttered in pulpits, that are generally
disgusted [_disliked_], and are very apt to bring contempt upon the
preacher, and that religion which he professes.
Amongst the first things that seem to be useless, may be reckoned _the
high tossing and swaggering preaching_, either mountingly eloquent, or
profoundly learned. For there be a sort of Divines, who, if they but
happen of an unlucky hard word all the week, they think themselves not
careful of their flock, if they lay it not up till Sunday, and bestow it
amongst them, in their next preachment. Or if they light upon some
difficult and obscure notion, which their curiosity inclines them to be
better acquainted with, how useless soever! nothing so frequent as for
them, for a month or two months together, to tear and tumble this
doctrine! and the poor people, once a week, shall come and gaze upon them
by the hour, until they preach themselves, as they think, into a right
understanding.
Those that are inclinable to make these useless speeches to the people;
they do it, for the most part, upon one of these two considerations.
Either out of simple phantastic glory, and a great studiousness of being
wondered at; as if getting into the pulpit were a kind of Staging
[_acting_]; where nothing was to be considered but how much the sermon
takes! and how much stared at! Or else, they do this to gain a respect
and reverence from their people: "who," say they, "are to be puzzled now
and then, and carried into the clouds! For if the Minister's words be
such as the Constable uses; his matter plain and practical, such as comes
to the common market; he may pass possibly for an honest and well-meaning
man, but by no means for any scholar! Whereas if he springs forth, now
and then, in high raptures towards the uppermost heavens; dashing, here
and there, an all-confounding word! if he soars aloft in unintelligible
huffs! preaches points deep and mystical, and delivers them as darkly and
phantastically! this is the way," say they, "of being accounted a most
able and learned Instructor."
Others there be, whose parts stand not so much towards Tall Words and
Lofty Notions, but consist in scattering up and down and besprinkling all
their sermons with plenty of Greek and Latin. And because St. PAUL, once
or so, was pleased to make use of a little heathen Greek; and that only,
when he had occasion to discourse with some of the learned ones that well
understood him: therefore must they needs bring in twenty Poets and
Philosophers, if they can catch them, into an hour's talk [_evidently the
ordinary length of a sermon at this time, see_ pp. 259, 313]; spreading
themselves in abundance of Greek and Latin, to a company, perhaps, of
farmers and shepherds.
Neither will they rest there, but have at the Hebrew also! not contenting
themselves to tell the people in general, that they "have skill in the
Text, and the exposition they offer, agrees with the Original"; but must
swagger also over the poor parishioners, with the dreadful Hebrew itself!
with their BEN-ISRAELS! BEN-MANASSES! and many more BENS that they are
intimately acquainted with! whereas there is nothing in the church, or
near it by a mile, that understands them, but GOD Almighty! whom, it is
supposed, they go not about to inform or satisfy.
This learned way of talking, though, for the most part, it is done merely
out of ostentation: yet, sometimes (which makes not the case much better),
it is done in compliment and civility to the all-wise Patron, or
all-understanding Justice of the Peace in the parish; who, by the common
farmers of the town, must be thought to understand the most intricate
notions, and the most difficult languages.
Now, what an admirable thing this is! Suppose there should be one or so,
in the whole church, that understands somewhat besides English: shall I
not think that he understands that better? Must I (out of courtship to
his Worship and Understanding; and because, perhaps, I am to dine with
him) prate abundance of such stuff, which, I must needs know, nobody
understands, or that will be the better for it but himself, and perhaps
scarcely he?
This, I say, because I certainly know several of that disposition: who,
if they chance to have a man of any learning or understanding more than
the rest in the parish, preach wholly at him! and level most of their
discourses at his supposed capacity; and the rest of the good people
shall have only a handsome gaze or view of the parson! As if plain words,
useful and intelligible instructions were not as good for an Esquire, or
one that is in Commission from the King, as for him that holds the plough
or mends hedges.
Certainly he that considers the design of his Office, and has a
conscience answerable to that holy undertaking, must needs conceive
himself engaged, not only to mind this or that accomplished or
well-dressed person, but must have a universal care and regard of all his
parish. And as he must think himself bound, not only to visit down beds
and silken curtains, but also flocks and straw [_mattresses_], if there
be need: so ought his care to be as large to instruct the poor, the weak,
and despicable part of his parish, as those that sit in the best pews. He
that does otherwise, thinks not at all of a man's soul: but only
accommodates himself to fine clothes, an abundance of ribbons, and the
highest seat in the church; not thinking that it will be as much to his
reward in the next worlds by sober advice, care, and instruction, to have
saved one that takes collection [_alms_] as him that is able to relieve
half the town. It is very plain that neither our Saviour, when he was
upon earth and taught the World, made any such distinction in his
discourses. What is more intelligible to all mankind than his _Sermon
upon the Mount_! Neither did the Apostles think of any such way. I
wonder, whom they take for a pattern!
I will suppose once again, that the design of these persons is to gain
glory: and I shall ask them, Can there be any greater in the world, than
doing general good? To omit future reward, Was it not always esteemed of
old, that correcting evil practices, reducing people that lived amiss,
was much better than making a high rant about a shuttlecock, and talking
_tara-tantara_ about a feather? Or if they would be only admired, then
would I gladly have them consider, What a thin and delicate kind of
admiration is likely to be produced, by that which is not at all
understood? Certainly, that man has a design of building up to himself
real fame in good earnest, by things well laid and spoken: his way to
effect it is not by talking staringly, and casting a mist before the
people's eyes; but by offering such things by which he may be esteemed,
with knowledge and understanding.
Thus far concerning Hard Words, High Notions, and Unprofitable Quotations
out of learned languages.
I shall now consider such things _as are ridiculous_, that serve for
chimney and market talk, after the sermon be done; and that do cause,
more immediately, the preacher to be scorned and undervalued.
I have no reason, Sir, to go about to determine what style or method is
best for the improvement and advantage of _all_ people. For, I question
not but there have been as many several sorts of Preachers as Orators;
and though very different, yet useful and commendable in their kind.
TULLY takes very deservedly with many, SENECA with others, and CATO, no
question! said things wisely and well. So, doubtless, the same place of
Scripture may by several, be variously considered: and although their
method and style be altogether different, yet they may all speak things
very convenient for the people to know and be advised of. But yet,
certainly, what is most undoubtedly useless and empty, or what is judged
absolutely ridiculous, not by this or that curious or squeamish auditor,
but by every man in the Corporation that understands but plain English
and common sense, ought to be avoided. For all people are naturally born
with such a judgement of true and allowable Rhetoric, that is, of what is
decorous and convenient to be spoken, that whatever is grossly otherwise
is usually ungrateful, not only to the wise and skilful part of the
congregation, but shall seem also ridiculous to the very unlearned
tradesmen [_mechanics_] and their young apprentices. Amongst which, may
be chiefly reckoned these following, _harsh Metaphors, childish
Similitudes_, and _ill-applied Tales_.
The first main thing, I say, that makes many sermons so ridicuous, and
the preachers of them so much disparaged and undervalued, is _an
inconsiderate use of frightful Metaphors_: which making such a remarkable
impression upon the ears, and leaving such a jarring twang behind them,
are oftentimes remembered to the discredit of the Minister as long as he
continues in the parish.
I have heard the very children in the streets, and the little boys close
about the fire, refresh themselves strangely but with the repetition of a
few of such far-fetched and odd sounding expressions. TULLY, therefore,
and CAESAR, the two greatest masters of Roman eloquence, were very wary
and sparing of that sort of Rhetoric. We may read many a page in their
works before we meet with any of those bears; and if you do light upon
one or so, it shall not make your hair stand right up! or put you into a
fit of convulsions! but it shall be so soft, significant, and familiar,
as if it were made for the very purpose.
But as for the common sort of people that are addicted to this sort of
expression in their discourses; away presently to both the Indies! rake
heaven and earth! down to the bottom of the sea! then tumble over all
Arts and Sciences! ransack all shops and warehouses! spare neither camp
nor city, but that they will have them! So fond are such deceived ones of
these same gay words, that they count all discourses empty, dull, and
cloudy; unless bespangled with these glitterings. Nay, so injudicious and
impudent together will they sometimes be, that the Almighty Himself is
often in danger of being dishonoured by these indiscreet and horrid
Metaphor-mongers. And when they thus blaspheme the God of Heaven by such
unhallowed expressions; to make amends, they will put you in an "As it
were" forsooth! or "As I may so say," that is, they will make bold to
speak what they please concerning GOD Himself, rather than omit what they
judge, though never so falsely, to be witty. And then they come in
hobbling with their lame submission, and with their "reverence be it
spoken": as if it were not much better to leave out what they foresee is
likely to be interpreted for blasphemy, or at least great extravagancy;
than to utter that, for which their own reason and conscience tell them,
they are bound to lay in beforehand an excuse.
To which may be further subjoined, that Metaphors, though very apt and
allowable, are intelligible but to some sorts of men, of this or that
kind of life, of this or that profession.
For example, perhaps one Gentleman's metaphorical knack of preaching
comes of the sea; and then we shall hear of nothing but "starboard" and
"larboard," of "stems," "sterns," and "forecastles," and such salt-water
language: so that one had need take a voyage to Smyrna or Aleppo, and
very warily attend to all the sailors' terms, before I shall in the least
understand my teacher. Now, though such a sermon may possibly do some good
in a coast town; yet upward into the country, in an inland parish, it will
do no more than Syriac or Arabic.
Another, he falls a fighting with his text, and makes a pitched battle of
it, dividing it into the Right Wing and Left Wing; then he _rears_ it!
_flanks_ it! _intrenches_ it! _storms_ it! and then he _musters_ all
again! to see what word was lost or lamed in the skirmish: and so falling
on again, with fresh valour, he fights backward and forward! charges
through and through! routs! kills! takes! and then, "Gentlemen! as you
were!" Now to such of his parish as have been in the late wars, this is
not very formidable; for they do but suppose themselves at Edgehill or
Naseby, and they are not much scared at his doctrine: but as for others,
who have not had such fighting opportunities, it is very lamentable to
consider how shivering they sit without understanding, till the battle be
over!
Like instance might be easily given of many more discourses, the
metaphorical phrasing whereof, depending upon peculiar arts, customs,
trades, and professions, makes them useful and intelligible only to such,
who have been very well busied in such like employments.
Another thing, Sir, that brings great disrespect and mischief upon the
Clergy, and that differs not much from what went immediately before, is
their _packing their sermons so full of Similitudes_; which, all the
World knows, carry with them but very small force of argument, unless
there be _an exact agreement with that which is compared_, of which there
is very seldom any sufficient care taken.
Besides, those that are addicted to this slender way of discourse, for
the most part, do so weaken and enfeeble their judgement, by contenting
themselves to understand by colours, features, and glimpses; that they
perfectly omit all the more profitable searching into the nature and
causes of things themselves. By which means, it necessarily comes to
pass, that what they undertake to prove and clear out to the
Congregation, must needs be so faintly done, and with such little force
of argument, that the conviction or persuasion will last no longer in the
parishioners' minds, than the warmth of those similitudes shall glow in
their fancy. So that he that has either been instructed in some part of
his duty, or excited to the performance of the same, not by any judicious
dependence of things, and lasting reason; but by such faint and toyish
evidence: his understanding, upon all occasions, will be as apt to be
misled as ever, and his affections as troublesome and ungovernable.
But they are not so Unserviceable, as, usually, they are Ridiculous. For
people of the weakest parts are most commonly overborn with these
fooleries; which, together with the great difficulty of their being
prudently managed, must needs occasion them, for the most part, to be
very trifling and childish.
Especially, if we consider the choiceness of the authors out of which
they are furnished. There is the never-to-be-commended-enough
LYCOSTHENES. There is also the admirable piece [by FRANCIS MERES] called
the _Second Part of Wits Commonwealth_ [1598]: I pray mind it! it is the
_Second Part_, and not the _First_! And there is, besides, a book wholly
consisting of Similitudes [? JOHN SPENCER's _Things New and Old, or a
Storehouse of Similies, Sentences, Allegories, &c._, 1658] applied and
ready fitted to most preaching subjects, for the help of young beginners,
who sometimes will not make them hit handsomely.
It is very well known that such as are possessed with an admiration of
such eloquence, think that they are very much encouraged in their way by
the Scripture itself. "For," say they, "did not our blessed Saviour
himself use many metaphors and many parables? and did not his disciples,
following his so excellent an example, do the like? And is not this, not
only warrant enough, but near upon a command to us so to do?"
If you please, therefore, we will see what our Saviour does in this case.
In _St. Matthew_ he tells his disciples, that "they are the salt of the
earth," that "they are the light of the world," that "they are a city set
on a hill." Furthermore, he tells his Apostles, that "he sends them forth
as sheep in the midst of wolves;" and bids them therefore "be as wise as
serpents, and harmless as doves." Now, are not all these things plain and
familiar, even almost to children themselves, that can but taste and see;
and to men of the lowest education and meanest capacities!
I shall not here insist upon those special and admirable reasons for
which our Saviour made use of so many parables. Only thus much is needful
to be said, namely, that they are very much mistaken, that, from hence,
think themselves tolerated to turn all the world into frivolous and
abominable similitudes.
As for our Saviour, when he spoke a parable, he was pleased to go no
further than the fields, the seashore, a garden, a vineyard, or the like;
which are things, without the knowledge whereof, scarcely any man can be
supposed to live in this world.
But as for our Metaphorical- and Similitude-Men of the Pulpit, these
things to them, are too still and languid! they do not rattle and rumble!
These lie too near home, and within vulgar ken! There is little on this
side the moon that will content them! Up, presently, to the _Primum
Mobile_, and the Trepidation of the Firmament! Dive into the bowels and
hid treasures of the earth! Despatch forthwith, for Peru and Jamaica! A
town bred or country bred similitude is worth nothing!
"It is reported of a tree growing upon the bank of Euphrates, the
great river Euphrates! that it brings forth an Apple, to the eye
very fair and tempting; but inwardly it is filled with nothing
but useless and deceiving dust. Even so, dust we are; and to dust
we must all go!"
Now, what a lucky discovery was this, that a man's Body should be so
exactly like an Apple! And, I will assure you that this was not thought
on, till within these few years!
And I am afraid, too, he had a kind of a hint of this, from another who
had formerly found out that a man's
Soul was like an Oyster. For, says he in his prayer, "Our souls
are constantly gaping after thee, O LORD! yea, verily, our souls
do gape, even as an oyster gapeth!"
It seems pretty hard, at first sight, to bring into a sermon all the
Circles of the Globe and all the frightful terms of Astronomy; but I will
assure you, Sir, it is to be done! because it has been. But not by every
bungler and ordinary text-divider; but by a man of great cunning and
experience.
There is a place in the prophet _Malachi_, where it will do very
nicely, and that is chapter iv. ver. 2, "But unto you, that fear
my Name, shall the Sun of Righteousness arise with healing in his
wings." From which words, in the first place, it plainly appears
that our Saviour passed through all the twelve signs of the
Zodiac; and more than that too, all proved by very apt and
familiar places of Scripture.
First, then, our Saviour was in _Aries_. Or else, what means that
of the Psalmist, "The mountains skipped like rams, and the little
hills like lambs!"? And again, that in Second of the _Kings_,
chap. iii. ver. 4, "And MESHA, King of Moab, was a sheep master,
and rendered unto the King of Israel an hundred thousand lambs,"
and what follows, "and an hundred thousand rams, with the wool!"
Mind it! it was the King of Israel!
In like manner, was he in _Taurus. Psalm_ xxii. 12. "Many bulls
have compassed me! Strong bulls of Bashan have beset me round!"
They were not ordinary bulls. They were _compassing_ bulls! they
were _besetting_ bulls! they were _strong Bashan_ bulls!
What need I speak of _Gemini_? Surely you cannot but remember
ESAU and JACOB! _Genesis_ xxv. 24. "And when her days to be
delivered were fulfilled, behold there were Twins in her womb!"
Or of _Cancer_? when, as the Psalmist says so plainly, "What
ailed thee, O thou sea, that thou fleddest? thou Jordan! that
thou wast driven back?" Nothing more plain!
It were as easy to shew the like in all the rest of the Signs.
But instead of that, I shall rather choose to make this one
practical Observation. That the mercy of GOD to mankind in
sending His Son into the world, was a very _signal_ mercy. It was
a _zodiacal_ mercy! I say it was truly zodiacal; for CHRIST keeps
within the Tropics! He goes not out of the Pale of the Church;
but yet he is not always at the same distance from a believer.
Sometimes he withdraws himself into the _apogaeum_ of doubt,
sorrow, and despair; but then he comes again into the _perigaeum_
of joy, content, and assurance; but as for heathens and
unbelievers, they are all arctic and antarctic reprobates!
Now when such stuff as this, as sometimes it is, is vented in a poor
parish, where people can scarce tell, what day of the month it is by the
Almanack? how seasonable and savoury it is likely to be!
It seems also not very easy for a man in his sermon to learn [_teach_]
his parishioners how to dissolve gold, of what, and how the stuff is
made. Now, to ring the bells and call the people on purpose together,
would be but a blunt business; but to do it neatly, and when nobody
looked for it, that is the rarity and art of it!
Suppose, then, that he takes for his text that of _St. Matthew_,
"Repent ye, for the Kingdom of GOD is at hand." Now, tell me,
Sir, do you not perceive the gold to be in a dismal fear! to curl
and quiver at the first reading of these words! It must come in
thus, "The blots and blurs of our sins must be taken out by the
_aqua-fortis_ of our tears; to which _aqua-fortis_, if you put a
fifth part of _sal-ammoniac_, and set them in a gentle heat, it
makes _aqua-regia_ which dissolves gold."
And now it is out! Wonderful are the things that are to be done by the
help of metaphors and similitudes! And I will undertake that, with a
little more pains and considerations, out of the very same words, he
could have taught the people how to make custards, or marmalade, or to
stew prunes!
But, pray, why "the _aqua-fortis_ of tears?" For if it so falls out that
there should chance to be neither Apothecary, nor Druggist at church,
there is an excellent jest wholly lost!
Now had he been so considerate as to have laid his wit in some more
common and intelligible material; for example, had he said the "blots of
sin" will be easily taken out "by the soap of sorrow, and the
fullers-earth of contrition," then possibly the Parson and the parish
might all have admired one another. For there be many a good-wife that
understands very well all the intrigues of pepper, salt, and vinegar, who
knows not anything of the all-powerfulness of _aqua-fortis_, how that it
is such a spot-removing liquor!
I cannot but consider with what understanding the people sighed and
cried, when the Minister made for them this metaphysical confession:
"Omnipotent All! Thou art only! Because Thou art all, and because
Thou only art! As for us, we are not; but we seem to be! and only
seem to be, because we are not! for we be but Mites of Entity,
and Crumbs of Something!" and so on.
As if a company of country people were bound to understand SUAREZ, and
all the School Divines!
And as some are very high and learned in their attempts; so others there
be, who are of somewhat too mean and dirty imagination.
Such was he, who goes by the name of Parson SLIPSTOCKING. Who preaching
about the grace and assistance of GOD, and that of ourselves we are able
to do nothing, advised his "beloved" to take him this plain similitude.
"A father calls his child to him, saying, 'Child, pull off this
stocking!' The child, mightily joyful that it should pull off
father's stocking, takes hold of the stocking, and tugs! and
pulls! and sweats! but to no purpose: for stocking stirs not, for
it is but a child that pulls! Then the father bids the child to
rest a little, and try again. So then the child sets on again,
tugs again; but no stocking comes: for child is but a child! Then
the father taking pity upon his child, puts his hand behind and
slips down the stocking; and off comes the stocking! Then how
does the child rejoice! for child hath pulled off father's
stocking, Alas, poor child! it was not child's strength, it was
not child's sweating that got off the stocking; but yet it was
the father's hand that slipped down the stocking. Even so--"
Not much unlike to this, was he that, preaching about the Sacrament and
Faith, makes CHRIST a shopkeeper; telling you that "CHRIST is a Treasury
of all wares and commodities," and thereupon, opening his wide throat,
cries aloud,
"Good people! what do you lack? What do you buy? Will you buy any
balm of Gilead? any eye salve? any myrrh, aloes, or cassia? Shall
I fit you with a robe of Righteousness, or with a white garment?
See here! What is it you want? Here is a choice armoury! Shall I
shew you a helmet of Salvation, a shield, or breastplate of
Faith? or will you please to walk in and see some precious
stones? a jasper, a sapphire, a chalcedony? Speak, what do you
buy?"
Now, for my part, I must needs say (and I much fancy I speak the mind of
thousands) that it had been much better for such an imprudent and
ridiculous bawler as this, to have been condemned to have cried oysters
or brooms, than to discredit, after this unsanctified rate, his
Profession and our Religion.
It would be an endless thing, Sir, to count up to you all the follies,
for a hundred years last past, that have been preached and printed of
this kind. But yet I cannot omit that of the famous Divine in his time,
who, advising the people in days of danger to run unto the LORD, tells
them that "they cannot go to the LORD, much less run, without feet;" that
"there be therefore two feet to run to the LORD, Faith and Prayer."
"It is plain that Faith is a foot, for, 'by Faith we stand,' 2
_Cor_. i. 24; therefore by Faith, we must run to the LORD who is
faithful.
"The second is Prayer, a spiritual Leg to bear us thither. Now
that Prayer is a spiritual Leg appears from several places in
Scripture, as from that of JONAH speaking of _coming_, chap. ii.
ver. 7, 'And my prayer _came_ unto thy holy temple.' And likewise
from that of the Apostle who says, _Heb_. iv. 16, 'Let us
therefore _go_ unto the throne of grace.' Both intimating that
Prayer is a spiritual Leg: there being no _coming_ or _going_ to
the LORD without the Leg of Prayer."
He further adds, "Now that these feet may be able to bear us
thither, we must put on the Hose [_stockings_] of Faith; for the
Apostle says, 'Our feet must be shod with the preparation of the
Gospel of Peace.'"
The truth of it is, the Author is somewhat obscure: for, at first, Faith
was a Foot, and by-and-by it is a Hose, and at last it proves a Shoe! If
he had pleased, he could have made it anything!
Neither can I let pass that of a later Author; who telling us, "It is
Goodness by which we must ascend to heaven," and that "Goodness is the
Milky Way to JUPITER's Palace"; could not rest there, but must tell us
further, that "to strengthen us in our journey, we must not take morning
milk, but some morning meditations:" fearing, I suppose, lest some people
should mistake, and think to go to heaven by eating now and then a mess of
morning milk, because the way was "milky."
Neither ought that to be omitted, not long since printed upon those words
of St. JOHN, "These things write I unto you, that ye sin not."
The Observation is that "it is the purpose of Scripture to drive
men from sin. These Scriptures contain Doctrines, Precepts,
Promises, Threatenings, and Histories. Now," says he, "take these
five smooth stones, and put them into the Scrip of the heart, and
throw them with the Sling of faith, by the Hand of a strong
resolution, against the Forehead of sin: and we shall see it,
like GOLIATH, fall before us."
But I shall not trouble you any further upon this subject: but, if you
have a mind to hear any more of this stuff, I shall refer you to the
learned and judicious Author of the _Friendly Debates_ [_i.e._, SIMON
PATRICK, afterwards Bishop of ELY, who wrote _A Friendly Debate between a
Conformist and a Nonconformist_, in two parts, 1669]: who, particularly,
has at large discovered the intolerable fooleries of this way of talking.
I shall only add thus much, that such as go about to fetch blood into
their pale and lean discourses, by the help of their brisk and sparkling
similitudes, ought well to consider, Whether their similitudes be true?
I am confident, Sir, you have heard it, many and many a time, or, if need
be, I can shew you it in a book, that when the preacher happens to talk
how that the things here below will not satisfy the mind of man; then
comes in, "the round world which cannot fill the triangular heart of
man!" whereas every butcher knows that the heart is no more triangular
than an ordinary pear, or a child's top. But because _triangular_ is a
hard word, and perhaps a jest! therefore people have stolen it one from
another, these two or three hundred years; and, for aught I know, much
longer! for I cannot direct to the first inventor of the fancy.
In like manner, they are to consider, What things, either in the heavens
or belonging to the earth, have been found out, by experience, to
contradict what has been formerly allowed of?
Thus, because some ancient astronomers had observed that both the
distances as well as the revolutions of the planets were in some
proportion or harmony one to another: therefore people that abounded with
more imagination than skill, presently fancied the Moon, Mercury, and
Venus to be a kind of violins or trebles to Jupiter or Saturn; that the
Sun and Mars supplied the room of tenors, and the _Primum Mobile_ running
Division all the tune. So that one could scarce hear a sermon, but they
must give you a touch of "the Harmony of the Spheres."
Thus, Sir, you shall have them take that of St. PAUL, about "faith, hope,
and charity." And instead of a sober instructing of the people in those
eminent and excellent graces, they shall only ring you over a few changes
upon the three words; crying, "Faith! Hope! and Charity!" "Hope! Faith!
and Charity!" and so on: and when they have done their peal, they shall
tell you that "this is much better than the Harmony of the Spheres!"
At other times, I have heard a long chiming only between two words; as
suppose Divinity and Philosophy, or Revelation and Reason. Setting forth
with Revelation first. "Revelation is a Lady; Reason, an Handmaid!
Revelation is the Esquire; Reason, the Page! Revelation is the Sun;
Reason, but the Moon! Revelation is Manna; Reason is but an acorn!
Revelation, a wedge of gold; Reason, a small piece of silver!"
Then, by and by, Reason gets it, and leads it away, "Reason indeed is
very good, but Revelation is much better! Reason is a Councillor, but
Revelation is the Lawgiver! Reason is a candle, but Revelation is the
snuffer!"
Certainly, those people are possessed with a very great degree of
dulness, who living under the means of such enlightening preaching,
should not be mightily settled in the right notion and true bounds of
Faith and Reason.
No less ably, methought, was the difference between the Old Covenant and
the New, lately determined. "The Old Covenant was of Works; the New
Covenant, of Faith. The Old Covenant was by MOSES; The New, by CHRIST.
The Old was heretofore; the New, afterwards. The Old was first; the New
was second. Old things are passed away: behold, all things are become
new." And so the business was very fundamentally done.
I shall say no more upon this subject, but this one thing, which relates
to what was said a little before. He that has got a set of similitudes
calculated according to the old philosophy, and PTOLEMY's system of the
world, must burn his commonplace book, and go a-gleaning for new ones; it
being, nowadays, much more gentle and warrantable to take a similitude
from the Man in the Moon than from _solid_ orbs: for though few people do
absolutely believe that there is any such Eminent Person there; yet the
thing is possible, whereas the other is not.
I have now done, Sir, with that imprudent way of speaking by Metaphor and
Simile. There are many other things commonly spoken out of the pulpit,
that are much to the disadvantage and discredit of the Clergy; that ought
also to be briefly hinted. And that I may the better light upon them, I
shall observe their _common method of Preaching_.
[1.] Before the text be divided, a _Preface_ is to be made.
And it is a great chance if, first of all, the Minister does not make his
text to be _like something or other_.
For example. One, he tells you, "And now, methinks, my Text, like an
ingenious [_clever_] Picture, looks upon all here present: in which, both
nobles and people, may behold their sin and danger represented." This was
a text out of _Hosea_. Now, had it been out of any other place of the
_Bible_; the gentleman was sufficiently resolved to make it like "an
ingenious Picture."
Another taking, perhaps, the very same words, says, "I might compare my
Text to the mountains of Bether, where the LORD disports Himself like a
young hart or a pleasant roe among the spices."
Another man's Text is "like the rod of MOSES, to divide the waves of
sorrow"; or "like the mantle of ELIJAH, to restrain the swelling floods
of grief."
Another gets to his Text thus, "As SOLOMON went up six steps to come to
the great Throne of Ivory, so must I ascend six degrees to come to the
high top-meaning of my Text."
Another thus, "As DEBORAH arose, and went with BARAK to Kadesh; so, if
you will go with him, and call in the third verse of the chapters he will
shew you the meaning of his Text."
Another, he fancies his Text to be extraordinarily like to "an orchard of
pomegranates;" or like "St. MATTHEW sitting at the receipt of custom;" or
like "the dove that NOAH sent out of the Ark."
I believe there are above forty places of Scripture, that have been "like
RACHEL and LEAH": and there is one in _Genesis_, as I well remember, that
is "like a pair of compasses stradling." And, if I be not much mistaken,
there is one, somewhere else, that is "like a man going to Jericho."
Now, Sir, having thus made the way to the Text as smooth and plain as
anything, with a _Preface_, perhaps from ADAM, though his business lie at
the other end of the _Bible_: in the next place; [2] he comes to _divide
the Text_.