measure, if not wholly, be Remedy'd, would Mothers but be at so much
Pains as to Teach their Children either altogether, or in good part
themselves, what it is fit for them to learn in the first Eight or Ten
Years of their Lives. As to Read English perfectly; To understand
ordinary Latin; and Arithmetick; with some general knowledge of
Geography, Chronology, and History. Most, or all of which things may
at the above-said Age be understood by a Child of a very ordinary
capacity; and may be so taught Children as that they may learn them
almost insensibly in Play, if they have skilful Teachers: It seems to
me therefore that Young Ladies cannot better employ so much of their
Time as is requisite hereto, than in acquiring such Qualifications as
these, which may be of so great use to them hereafter; however, if any
who have not made this early Provision of such Science, are yet truly
desirous to do their Children all the good that is in their Power to
do them, they may, tho' not with the same Facility, yet be able to
instruct them alike, notwithstanding that disadvantage; and Mr. L----
on the Experience thereof, has asserted, That a Mother who understands
not Latin before hand, may yet teach it to her Child; which, if she
can, it is not to be doubted but that she may do the same of all the
rest; for such a Superficial Knowledge as will serve to enter any one
in every of the above-named Sciences, is much easier attain'd than the
Latin Tongue; and if a Mother have ever so little more Capacity than
her Child, she may easily keep before him, in teaching both him and
her self together; whereby she will make herself the best Reparation
that she can for her past neglect, or that of her Parents herein: Who
yet, perhaps, not from negligence may have declin'd giving her this
advantage. For Parents sometimes do purposely omit it from an
apprehension that should their Daughters be perceiv'd to understand
any learned Language, or be conversant in Books, they might be in
danger of not finding Husbands; so few Men, as do, relishing these
accomplishments in a Lady. Nor, probably, would even the example of a
Mother herself who was thus qualify'd, and likewise understood, as is
afore-said, her Religion, be any great incouragement to her Daughters
to imitate her example, but the contrary. For this Knowledge, one part
whereof is so strictly the Duty of a Christian, and the other so
inconsiderable to those whose Time commonly lies upon their Hands,
would in itself, or in the consequences of it, expose a young Woman of
Quality (especially if not thought unfit for the fashionable Commerce
of the World) to be characteriz'd or censur'd, as would not be very
pleasing to her. For if it be consider'd, that she who did seriously
desire to make the best use of what she knew, would necessarily be
oblig'd (for the gaining of Time wherein she might do so) to order the
Course, and manner of her Life something differently from others of
her Sex and Condition, it cannot be doubted but that a Conduct, which
carry'd with it so much Reproach to Woman's Idleness, and
disappointment to Men's Vanity, would quickly be judg'd fit to be
ridicul'd out of the World before others were infected by the example.
So that the best Fate which a Lady thus knowing, and singular, could
expect, would be that hardly escaping Calumny, she should be in Town
the Jest of the _Would-be-Witts_; tho wonder of Fools, and a Scarecrow
to keep from her House many honest People who are to be pitty'd for
having no more Wit than they have, because it is not their own Fault
that they have no more. But in the Country she would, probably, fare
still worse; for there her understanding of the Christian Religion
would go near to render her suspected of Heresy even by those who
thought the best of her: Whilst her little Zeal for any Sect or Party
would make the Clergy of all sorts give her out for a _Socinian_ or a
_Deist_: And should but a very little Philosophy be added to her other
Knowledge, even for an Atheist. The Parson of the Parish, for fear of
being ask'd hard Questions, would be shy of coming near her, were his
Reception ever so inviting; and this could not but carry some ill
intimation with it to such as Reverenc'd the Doctor, and who, it is
likely, might be already satisfy'd from the Reports of Nurses, and
Maids, that their Lady was indeed a Woman of very odd Whimsies. Her
prudent Conduct and Management of her affairs would probably secure
her from being thought out of her Wits by her near Neighbours; but the
Country Gentlemen that wish'd her well, could not yet chuse but be
afraid for her, lest too much Learning might in Time make her Mad.
The saving of but one Soul from Destruction, is, it is true, a noble
recompense for ten Thousand such Censurers as these; but it is
wondrous strange that only to be a Christian, with so much other
Knowledge as a Child of Nine or Ten Years Old may, and ought to have,
should expose a Lady to so great Reproaches; And what a shame is this
for Men whose woful Ignorance is the alone Cause thereof? For it is
manifestly true that if the inimitable Author of _Les Caracteres, ou
les Moeurs de ce Siecle_, had demanded in _England, who forbids
Knowledge to Women_? It must have been answer'd him, the Ignorance of
the Men does so; and the same Answer I think he might have receiv'd in
his own Country.
_Monsieur Bruyere_ says indeed, and likely it is, _That Men have made
no Laws, or put out any Edicts whereby Women are prohibited to open
their Eyes; to Read; to Remember what they Read, and to make use
thereof in their Conversation, or in composing of Works_. But surely
he had little Reason to suppose, as he herein does, that Women could
not otherwise than _by Laws and Edicts_ be restrain'd from Learning.
It is sufficient for this that no body assists them in it; and that
they are made to see betimes that it would be disadvantageous to them
to have it. For how few Men are there, that arrive to any Eminence
therein? tho' Learning is not only not prohibited to them _by Laws and
Edicts;_ but that ordinarily much Care, and Pains, is taken to give it
them; and that great Profits, oftentimes, and, always, Honour attends
their having it.
The Law of Fashion, establish'd by Repute and Disrepute, is to most
People the powerfullest of all Laws, as Monsieur _Bruyere_ very well
knew; whose too Satyrical Genius makes him assign as Causes of Womens
not having Knowledge, the universally necessary consequences of being
bred in the want thereof. But what on different occasions he says of
the Sex, will either on the one part vindicate them, or else serve
for an Instance that this Ingenious Writers Reflections, however
witty, are not always instructive, or just Corrections. For either
Women have generally some other more powerful Principle of their
Actions than what terminates in rendering themselves pleasing to Men
(as he insinuates they have not) or else they neglect the improvement
of their Minds and Understandings, as not finding them of any use to
that purpose; whence it is not equal in him to charge it peculiarly
(as he does) upon that Sex (if it be indeed so much chargeable on them
as on Men) that they are diverted from Science by _une curiosité toute
differente de celle qui contente l'Espirt: ou un tout autre gout que
celuy d'exercer leur Memoire_.
Yet since I think it is but Natural, and alike so in both Sexes, to
desire to please the other, I may, I suppose, without any Injurious
Reflexion upon Ladies, presume, that if Men did usually find Women the
more amiable for being knowing, they would much more commonly, than
now they are, be so.
But the Knowledge hitherto spoken of has a nobler Aim than the
pleasing of Men, and begs only Toleration from them; in granting
whereof they would at least equally consult their own advantage: as
they could not but find, did They not by a common Folly, incident to
Humane Nature, hope that contradictions should subsist together in
their Favour; from whence only it is that very many who would not that
Women should have Knowledge, do yet complain of, and very impatiently
bear the Natural, and unavoidable consequences of their Ignorance.
But what sure Remedy can be found for Effects whose Cause remains? and
on what ground can it be expected that Ignorance and uninstructed
Persons should have the Venues which proceed from a rightly inform'd
Understanding, and well cultivated Mind? or not be liable to those
Vices which their Natures incline them to? And how should it otherwise
be than that they, who have never consider'd the Nature and
Constitution of Things, or weigh'd the Authority of the Divine Law,
and what it exacts of them, should be perswaded that nothing can be so
truly profitable to them as the Indulgence of their present Passions,
and Appetites? Which whoso places their Happiness in the satisfaction
of, cannot fail of being themselves miserable, or of making those so
who are concern'd in them.
Humane Nature is not capable of durable satisfaction when the Passions
and Appetites are not under the direction of right Reason: And whilst
we eagerly pursue what disappoints our expectation, or cloys with the
Enjoyment, as all irregular pleasures, however Natural, do; and whilst
we daily create to our selves desires still more vain, as thinking
thereby to be supply'd with new Delights, we shall ever (instead of
finding true Contentment) be subjected to uneasiness, disgust and
vexation: The unhappy state more, or less, of all who want that
Knowledge which is requisite to direct their Actions suitably to the
Ends which as rational Creatures they ought to propose: and as can
inable them profitably to employ their Time.
But since Examples do the best perswade, let us see, with respect to
Women, in the most considerable Instances, what plainly are the
Natural consequences of that Ignorance which they usually are bred in;
and which Men think so advantageous to themselves. We will suppose
then a Lady bred, as the generality of Men think she should be, in a
blind belief concerning Religion; and taught that it is even
ridiculous for a Lady to trouble her Head about this matter; since it
is so far from being a Science fit for her, that it indeed properly
belongs only to Gown-Men: and that a Woman very well Merits to be
laugh'd at who will act the Doctor: Her Duty in the case being plain
and easie; as requiring only of her to believe and practice what she
is taught at Church, or in such Books of Piety as shall be recommended
to her by her Parents, or some Spiritual Director.
This is generally, I think, the Sense of Men concerning the Knowledge
which Ladies ought to have of Religion: And thus much, I doubt not may
suffice for their Salvation. But the saving of their Souls (tho' it
were herein as sure as it is possible) is not, I suppose, all that
Men are Solicitous for in regard of their Wives; their own Honour in
that of those so near to them, does I think, much more frequently and
sensibly employ their Care: And that, too often, appears to be but
very weakly secur'd by such an implicit Faith as this. For these
Believers (especially if they are thought to have any Wit, as well as
Beauty) will hardly escape meeting some time or other, with those who
will ask them _why they Believe_; and if they find then that they have
no more Reason for going to Church than they should have had to go to
Mass, or even to the Synagogue, had they been bred amongst Papists or
Jews, they must needs, at the same time, doubt whether, or no, the
Faith they have been brought up in, is any righter than either of
these; from whence they will, (by easy steps) be induc'd to question
the Truth of all Religion, when they shall be told by those who have
insinuated themselves into their Esteem and good Graces, that indeed
All Religions are, alike, the Inventions and Artifices of cunning Men
to govern the World by; unworthy of imposing upon such as have their
good Sense: That Fools only, and Ignorants are kept in Awe, and
restrain'd by their Precepts; which, if they observe it, they shall
ever find, are the lest obey'd by those who pretend the most to
obtrude them upon others.
That this is Language which Women often hear is certain: And such a
one as knows no reason for what she has been taught to believe, but
has been reprov'd, perhaps, for demanding one, can very hardly avoid
being perswaded that there is much appearance of Truth in this; whence
she will soon come to conclude, that she has hitherto been in the
wrong, if upon any scruple of Religion, she has not gratify'd her
Inclination, in whatever she imagines might tend to make her Life more
pleasing to her. And should a young Lady, thus dispos'd, find a Lover
whom she thinks has a just value for all her good Qualities, which at
best, perhaps, procure her but the cold Civility of her Husband, it is
odds that she may be in danger of giving him cause to wish she had
been better instructed, than may possibly suffice for her Salvation:
Which, whatever happens, none can pronounce, may not be secur'd from
the allowances due to so great Ignorance, or at least by any timely
Repentance: Whilst Honour, if not intirely Ship-wrack'd, it is scarce
reasonable to hope, should suffer no Diminution on such an occasion;
the which, that Women the most vertuously dispos'd, may never be
within distance of, will, in an Age like this, be best provided for
by their being betimes instructed in the true Reasons and Measures of
their Duty; since those, who are so, are not only better able to
defend their Vertue, but have also the seldomest occasion for such a
defence. Men, how ill soever inclin'd, being aw'd by, and made asham'd
to attaque with so pittiful Arguments, as Vice admits of, such as they
see are rationally Vertuous; whilst easy ignorance is look'd upon as a
Prey expos'd to every bold Invader: And whatever Garb of Gravity or
Modesty it is cloath'd withal, invites such very often, even where the
Charms of the Person would not otherwise attract them.
But as such Men who think that the understanding of Religion is a
thing needless to Women, do commonly much more believe all other
rational Knowledge to be so; let us see how reasonably these same Men
who willingly allow not to Ladies any employment of their Thoughts
worthy of them as rational Creatures, do yet complain, that either
Play is their daily and expensive pastime; or that they love not to be
at home taking care of their Children, as did heretofore Ladies who
were honour'd for their Vertue; but that an eternal round of idle
Visits, the Park, Court, Play-houses and Musick Meetings, with all the
costly Preparations to being seen in publick, do constantly take up
their Time and their Thoughts. For how heavy an Accusation soever
this, in itself, is, may it not justly be demanded of such Men as we
have spoken of, what good they imagine Mothers who understand nothing
that is fit for their Children to know, should procure to them by
being much in their Company: And next, whether they indeed think it
equitable to desire to confine Ladies to spend the best part of their
Lives in the Society and company of little Children; when to play with
them as a more entertaining sort of Monkeys or Parroquets, is all the
pleasing Conversation that they are capable of having with them? For
no other Delight can ignorant Women take in the Company of young
Children; and if to desire this, is not equitable or just, must it not
be concluded, that the greatest part of those, who make the
above-mention'd Complaints, do really mean nothing else thereby, but,
by a colourable and handsome pretence, to oblige their Wives, either
to be less expensive, or to avoid, it may be, the occasions of gaining
Admirers which may make them uneasy? Neither can such, possibly, be
presum'd upon any Principle of Vertue, to disapprove those ways of
anothers spending their Time, or Mony, which themselves will either
upon no consideration forbear; or else do so only, from a preference
of things as little, or yet less reasonable; as Drinking, Gaming, or
Lew'd Company. Such Persons of both Sexes as These, are indeed but fit
Scourges to chastise each others Folly; and they do so sufficiently,
whilst either restraint on the one side begets unconquerable hatred
and aversion; or else an equal indulgence puts all their Affairs into
an intire confusion and disorder: Whence Want, mutual ill Will,
Disobedience of Children, their Extravagance, and all the ill effects
of neglected Government, and bad Example follow; till they make such a
Family a very Purgatory to every one who lives in it. And as the
Original cause of all these mischiefs is Peoples not living like
rational Creatures, but giving themselves up to the blind Conduct of
their Desires and Appetites; so all who in any measure do thus, will
accordingly, more or less, create vexation to each other, because it
is impossible that they should ever be at ease, or contented in their
own Minds.
There being then so very few reasonable People in the World, as are,
that is to say, such who indeavour to live conformably to the Dictates
of Reason, submitting their Passions and Appetites to the Government
and Direction of that Faculty which God has given them to that end;
what wonder can it be that so few are happy in a Marry'd Estate? And
how little cause is there to charge their Infelicity, as often is
done, upon this Condition, as if it were a necessary Consequence
thereof?
The necessities of a Family very often, and the injustice of Parents
sometimes, causes People to sacrifice their Inclinations, in this
matter, to interest; which must needs make this State uneasy in the
beginning to those who are otherways ever so much fitted to live well
in such a Relation; yet scarce any vertuous and reasonable Man and
Woman who are Husband and Wife, can know that it is both their Duty
and Interest (as it is) reciprocally to make each other Happy without
effectually doing so in a little time. But if no contrary Inclination
obstruct this Felicity, a greater cannot certainly be propos'd, since
Friendship has been allow'd by the wisest, most vertuous, and most
generous Men of all Ages to be the solidest and sweetest pleasure in
this World: And where can Friendship have so much advantage to arrive
to, and be maintain'd in its Perfection, as where two Persons have
inseparably one and the same Interest; and see themselves united, as
it were, in their common Off-spring? All People, it is certain, have
not a like fitness for, or relish of this pleasure of Friendship,
which therefore, however preferable to others in the real advantages
of it, cannot be equally valuable to all. But where there is mutually
that predominant Disposition to vertuous Love, which is the
Characteristick of the most excellent Minds, I think we cannot frame
an Idea of so great Happiness to be found in any thing in this Life,
as in a Marry'd State.
It seems therefore one of the worst Marks that can be of the Vice and
Folly of any Age when Mariage is commonly contemn'd therein; since
nothing can make it to be so but Mens Averseness to, or incapacity for
those things which most distinguish them from Brutes, Vertue and
Friendship.
But it were well if Mariage was not become a State almost as much
fear'd by the Wise, as despis'd by Fools. Custom and silly Opinion,
whose consequences yet are (for the most part) not imaginary, but real
Evils, do usually make it by their best Friends thought adviseable for
those of the Female Sex once to Marry; altho' the Risque which they
therein run of being wretched, is yet much greater than that of Men;
who (not having the same inducements from the hazard of their
Reputation, or any uneasie dependance) are, from the examples of
others Misfortunes, often deter'd from seeking Felicity in a condition
wherein they so rarely see, or hear of any who find it; it being too
true that one can frequent but little Company, or know the Story of
but few Families, without hearing of the publick Divisions, and
Discords of Marry'd People, or learning their private Discontents from
their being in that state. But since the cause of such unhappiness
lies only in the corruption of Manners, were that redress'd, there
would need nothing more to bring _Mariage_ into credit.
Vice and Ignorance, thus, we see, are the great Sources of those
Miseries which Men suffer in every state. These, oftentimes, mingle
Gall even in their sweetest Pleasures; and imbitter to them the
wholesomest Delights. But what remedy hereto can be hop'd for, if
rational Instruction and a well order'd Education of Youth, in respect
of Vertue and Religion, can only (as has been said) rectify these
Evils? For vicious and ignorant Parents are neither capable of this,
or generally willing that their Children should be instructed or
govern'd any other ways, than as themselves have been before them.
One might hence therefore, it may be, reasonably believe, that God
reserves to himself, by some extraordinary interposition of his
providence, that Reformation which we are assur'd, will some time be
effected. But yet if all Persons, eminent by their Quality, who merit
not to be rank'd among the Vicious and Ignorant, would give the
Example, much would thereby be done towards the introducing of a
general amendment: Since these could make a greater care of Education
in the above-mention'd Respects, become, in some degree, Fashionable:
And even a reasonable thing will not want Followers, if it be once
thought the Fashion. We have seen also that Mothers, in regard of
their Childrens Instruction, ought to take upon themselves, as their
proper Business, a very great part in that concernment; and one would
think that there were no inconsiderable number of Ladies amongst us,
who might, with hopes of success, be address'd to, that they would
indeavour to acquit themselves herein of their Duty. I mean all such
as are unhappily Marry'd; for what so good Reparation can they find
for the misfortune of having foolish and vicious Husbands, who neglect
or treat them ill, as the having Children honour'd for their Vertue,
and who shall honour and love them, not only as their Parents, but as
those to whom they owe much more than their Being?
To perswade such whose Heads are full of Pleasure, and whose Hours
pass gaily, to seek their satisfaction in things of which they have
never yet had any tast, could not reasonably be thought other than a
vain Attempt: But they who are wretched, one would think, should be
easily prevail'd with to hearken to any Proposition, which brings but
the least glimpse of Happiness to them; and were that tenderness of
their Children, which ingages Mothers to do them all the good they
can, less natural than it is to Vertuous Women, one would imagine,
that when from these alone they must expect all their Felicity in
this Life, they should readily contribute what is in their Power to
the securing to themselves this only Blessing which they can propose;
and which they cannot miss of, without the greatest increase
imaginable to their present unhappiness: Childrens Ill-doing being an
Affliction equal to the Joy of their doing well. Which must be an
unspeakable one to such Parents as are conscious, that this is in
great measure the Fruit and Effect of their right direction. Nor is
there any thing which a vertuous Man or Woman does not think they owe,
or is too much for them to return to those to whom they believe
themselves indebted for their being such. How great a Felicity then
may a Mother, unhappy in the Relation of a Wife, (by procuring to
herself such Friends as these) lay up for her declining Age, which
must otherwise be more miserable than her unfortunate Youth? And how
much better would she employ her time in this care, than in the
indulging to a weakness, very incident to tender Minds, which is to
bemoan themselves, instead of casting about for Relief against their
Afflictions, whereby they become but yet more soften'd to the
Impressions of their Sorrow, and every day less able to support them?