[Illustration: MINNA ENCKEN, _Countess of Lichtenau_.]
THE
CONFESSIONS
OF THE CELEBRATED
_COUNTESS OF LICHTENAU_,
LATE MRS. RIETZ,
NOW CONFINED IN THE FORTRESS OF GLOGAU AS A
STATE-PRISONER.
_DRAWN FROM ORIGINAL PAPERS_,
TRANSLATED FROM THE GERMAN.
WITH AN
_Engraved Portrait of the Countess_,
AFTER AN
ORIGINAL PAINTING in the Possession of the
COUNTESS MATUSKA.
London:
PRINTED BY J. W. MYERS,
FOR W. WEST, NO. 27, PATERNOSTER-ROW.
1799.
TO
MR. L----S H----Y, at BATH.
DEAR SIR,
I avail myself of the departure of an English gentleman, who intends to
set out for your city in a few days, to transmit you the translation of
a pamphlet which has lately appeared in German, and which is read with
great avidity. If the perusal of it should afford you any amusement, it
will amply repay the few moments that I devoted to friendship.
It consists chiefly of the confessions of a woman, whose beauty first
ushered her into notice, and whose intrigues enabled her to maintain
the conquests which her personal charms had made, even when visibly
on the decline. Had she confined herself to the private circles of
her amours, we might have heard little more of her than other modern
_Thaises_, but her ambition extended to politics, and the fatal effect
of her influence in that line has been felt, I am afraid, by more
nations than one in the present unhappy contest with the demagogues of
France.
The original papers which were found in the possession of the Countess
when she was arrested, and from which these confessions have been
drawn, were communicated to the Author of this pamphlet by a Member
of the Committee appointed to enquire into the transactions of this
intriguing woman. The language, however, was so gross and indelicate,
that, out of respect to religion and morality, it was necessary to
omit them. It was also thought proper to omit many political passages,
and wait till a proper opportunity presented itself to bring them to
light. Then you will be surprised to find the part this infamous woman
and her creatures acted in many of the scenes which have lately been
exhibited in Europe. There never was a person, perhaps, whose fall has
been less lamented by all parties. She was, as she states herself in
her confessions, the daughter of a trumpeter; she lived, for some time,
as a maid servant with her eldest sister, who was early initiated into
all the mysteries of Venus; but the sister treated her so ill, that
she was obliged to return to her mother’s, where she was first noticed
by a young man of the _highest_ rank. At this period she was about
fifteen years of age. Her protector ordered lodgings to be provided for
her, and proper masters to instruct her in reading and writing; and, as
she was of a very apt disposition, he taught her French himself, and
was highly gratified with the progress of his pupil in other polite
accomplishments, such as dancing, drawing, etc. Such was her ascendancy
over the heart of her benefactor, that he brought her to Potsdam, where
she lived in a stile that could not escape the penetrating eye of the
old K--g, so that, in order to avoid any disagreeable consequences
on that head, it was thought adviseable that she should travel, and
that in as private a manner as possible. She met with many accidents
in her way to Paris, particularly in passing through Champagne, where
her carriage was broken, which endangered her life. Her royal lover,
in 1792, wrote to her that he had taken possession of the scene of her
misfortune.
To make amends for the privacy in which she had travelled, she shone
forth, all at once, in Paris, as a star of the first magnitude, in
the fashionable hemisphere; her _petit soupirs_ were numerously
attended by the gay, the giddy, and the vain. Vestris taught her to
sail through all the mazes of harmony, but, after all, the want of an
early education was visible in her manners and language. Her principal
taste lay in dress, for almost every moment that she could spare from
amusement was devoted to her toilet.
The attentions paid to her in Paris, by persons of the first rank,
inflated her vanity to such an excess, that she was impatient to
revisit her native country in order to relate all the fine compliments
which had been paid to her in her absence, but this vanity was not a
little mortified when she was obliged, or rather condemned, to marry
Mr. Rietz, a chamberlain of the Prince, who had been raised to that
rank from the low station of a gardener. The thoughts of being obliged
to give her hand to a man devoid of education, who could only boast
of poor, but honest, parents, preyed so incessantly on her spirits,
that she, at length, obtained a divorce from him, though she had born
him several children. Though her personal charms could no longer
maintain their full empire over the heart of her protector, yet such
were the resources of her arts, that, notwithstanding he was gradually
estranged from her couch, yet he constantly visited her drawing-room.
His protection, however, was not confined to her alone; it extended to
all her family. Mirabeau, in his Secret History of the Court of Berlin,
thus speaks of the marriage of her sister:----“On Sunday, (the 12th,
1786) at the principal inn in Berlin, the marriage of the Countess
Matuska and a Prussian officer, named Stutherm, was celebrated. The
Countess is a sister of Mademoiselle Henke (Madam Rietz;) she thought
to have married a Polish gentleman, who, some months since, withdrew.
Once deceived, she next made choice of a young officer. The K--g has
given money, and money enough. It is supposed that Madam Henke, who
now is said not to be married to Rietz, will retire and live with her
sister, that she may not impede the projects formed to enjoy the maid
of honour in peace.” The following passages are also taken from the
same work:----“Mademoiselle Henke, or Madam Rietz, as you think proper
to call her, has petitioned the King (December 23, 1786) to be pleased
to let her know what she is to expect, and to give her an estate on
which she may retire. The Sovereign offered her a country-house, at
the distance of some leagues from Potsdam. The lady sent a positive
refusal, and the King, in return, will not hear of any mention made of
an estate. It is difficult to say what shall be the product of this
conflict betwixt cupidity and avarice.”
“Madam Rietz, who, of all the mistresses of the Sovereign, has most
effectually resisted the inconstancy of men, and the intrigues of the
wardrobe, has modestly demanded the Margravate of Schwedt from the
King, to serve as a place of retreat, and four gentlemen to travel
with her son, as with the son of a monarch. This audacious request has
not displeased the King, who had been offended by the demand made of an
estate. He, no doubt, has discovered that he is highly respected, now
that he receives propositions so honourable.”
She visited Italy soon after her divorce, where she dissipated such
immense sums that she was obliged to return to repair the continual
drain. Dear variety was now her motto. Her attachment to the young
Count, Louis Bouillé, is thought to have tended very much to induce
the Court of Berlin to join in the invasion of France. Pains were
taken, after his dismissal, to attach her to an Irish nobleman, Lord
T----n. Whatever may have been the fatal consequence of her influence,
she may serve as an example, that, however vice may flourish for a
while, its reign is of short duration. “The demise of her protector
put an end to all her consequence,” says one of her biographers, “her
revenues, her flatterers, and her liberty, and in a moment, annihilated
the Juno of anti-jacobinism.” She is now imprisoned in the castle of
Glogau, execrated by the poor, whom she oppressed, and detested by the
nobility, whom she endeavoured to rival in power and splendor, and
unpitied by all. Her _château_ at Charlottenberg was lately sold to
Mr. Eckhardt for an immense sum.
Thus I have given you a short sketch of the life of this extraordinary
woman. I hope to see you soon, and hear from your own lips what effect
her confessions have made on you as a man, and more particularly as an
Englishman.
I am, with true regard,
Your’s truly,
RICHARD B--T--N.
_Hamburgh, March 8, 1799._
MY CONFESSIONS.
I was born in a small village called Dessau, at the very time when the
portentous comet, with its luminous tail, threatened the affrighted
inhabitants of my native country with pestilence, famine, war, and
all the attendant train of misery. I mean in the year of our Lord one
thousand seven hundred and ----. Whoever is the least acquainted with
the history of that comet will not be at a loss how to find out the
remaining figures to complete the year of my birth. My father, Heaven
have mercy upon his soul! was an honest good kind of man, and obliged
to maintain himself, his wife, my sisters, and me, with the produce of
his earnings; his name was Encke; his profession that of a trumpeter.
Our mode of living was such as behoved the family of a man in his
humble line, and had not my mother, at intervals, found means to make
a few perquisites, we might have fared still worse. But, dear woman!
she was an industrious being, and would contrive it so as to enable my
honest father to sit down to a joint of meat, at least, twice or thrice
a week. This my poor father liked very well, and would pay his dear
partner many a well deserved compliment on the occasion.
My father had lately been called to Potsdam, to be one of his Royal
Highness’s band of music, in consequence of which we fixed our abode at
Berlin. In the capital my mother continued her former trade, and had
very good custom for herself, whilst at the same time she would never
neglect any occasion of clandestinely making some good bargain or other
for my eldest sister and me, either with some young wealthy debauchee,
or an old married man; these bargains produced watches, clothes, cash,
&c.
In this way of living, in a kind of style, without much concern, my
father was highly pleased; yet, every now and then, he would--and
Heaven knows why--fly into a violent fit of passion, and, in those
fits, would generally make use of a kind of manual argument to convince
my good industrious mother of her duty as a wife. The fourteenth
anniversary of my birth happened to fall on the twenty-ninth day of the
month of February, Bissextile, when my father entered upon an argument
of this impressive nature, and his passion rose so high that it killed
him on the spot.
My mother was now a widow, and we all prospered beyond our warmest
expectation. Our father being gone, we immediately hoisted our colours
publicly at Berlin, and why should we not, as our reputation was pretty
well established, and known all over the town? Our good mother’s
province was to hold out the lure to empty the purses of unwary youth,
and to pluck up by the root the very last feather of the conceited
fool; all this was performed on a methodical system. Our house was a
sort of rendezvous, where the Jew and the Christian could assemble
without any interruption.
My eldest sister had the good fortune to strike the fancy of a Prince,
and to be chosen by him for his mistress. It became my humble lot,
at that time, to wait on her, which, however, did not hinder me from
conducting my own little concerns in private, for they were well worth
continuing. What business had I to toil and work, whilst my admirers
could administer to my wants and wishes! Ducats and fine clothes were
my motto, and whoever would furnish me with these was sure to succeed.
My sister, one day, happened to be off her guard with her favourite,
for, besides the Prince, she had an intrigue with a Silesian Count, of
the name of Matuschka. She was just sitting on the sopha, in a careless
posture, when, all of a sudden, the Prince entered the room. His eyes
sparkled with indignation, and in the first fit of his anger he took
my sister by the hair, pulled her off the sopha, and then knocked the
glasses, china, &c. girandoles, chandeliers, and every article of
furniture in the room, to pieces. The Count, with the aid of my mother,
fled through the window, and might thank his saints for the narrow
escape, for his life was at stake, and the Prince would have ran him
through without hesitation.
He loaded my mother with all the reproaches his rage could suggest,
called her a procuress, &c. Poor woman! she was innocent, and, of
course, the treatment affected her to the very quick. But at once she
took me by the hand, and, stepping up to the Prince, thus addressed
him: “Please your Royal Highness, I protest to Heaven, and all his
Saints, that I am quite innocent. The Count is the girl’s own choice. I
am as innocent as the child unborn. Here, take my little Minna instead
of her; she will keep true to you; she is susceptible of gratitude; I
can pledge my word that you will find what I say to be true. Behold,
and please your Royal Highness, behold this beautiful innocent; behold
this lucid eye, this harmonious shape, this slender waist, and then
the rosebud; her lively conversation will dissipate your cares, when
collected on your brow; and then such sallies of wit, such sprightly
sayings, such flashes of merriment, that time will dance away with down
on his feet in her company.” The Prince smiled at this sublime piece
of oratory, which my mother had got by rote, like a parrot; forgot
all that had happened, and since that very moment chose me for his
favourite.
With this amiable Prince I lived in uninterrupted happiness, but his
uncle, the sage, the politician, and the hero, began to interfere with
our little love-concerns, and loudly inveighed against his nephew’s
fathering several of my children, and the people publicly calling me
his mistress. It did not become, he thought, the destined ruler of a
great and powerful nation to be governed and duped by women and a set
of idle parasites. Such creatures, he said, were generally connected
with a gang of adventurers, for whom no honest man could have the least
esteem, because they had no other aim than to creep into favour, under
the protection of a prostitute, and, as soon as they had obtained it,
would interfere with the most serious and momentous concerns of the
state, betray whole nations, exhaust the very sources of the common
wealth, and commit acts of violence and injustice. Such and the like
nonsense would frequently flow from the old man’s lips, and the Prince,
who, in fact, was somewhat overawed by his aged uncle, advised me to
retire to my native town till the storm was over, and the horizon
cleared up again. In consequence of his advice, I repaired to Dessau,
accompanied by my mother, where I was soon afterwards delivered of
a son. The Prince often came to visit me in my retirement, and our
meetings were crowned with unspeakable bliss.
To make the old man quite easy, and the better to enable ourselves to
carry on our mutual intercourse, the Prince proposed a match between me
and his favorite valet, Rietz. His uncle, he thought, would the sooner
forget me, and his foes, as well as mine, would, by this marriage, be
brought to silence. I entered into the scheme, became Mrs. Rietz, and
returned unconcerned to Berlin. To the old grumbler I was represented
as an ignorant country wench, without any turn for intrigue, and
incapable of governing the Prince, and still less of involving
him, even in the most distant manner, in any foreign concern. This
completely quieted the old man, and I passed my time in the greatest
peace and tranquillity.
The long wished-for moment arrived at last; the old fellow died, and
my dear admirer ascended the throne. An extensive field of action now
opened before my eyes; “This is the time, said I to myself, to form my
system; to govern, to rule, to enrich, my friends, and to humble the
pride of my inveterate foes.”
I am sorry, and this I confess with the most heart-felt compunction,
to have, through artifice and malice, robbed the K--g of the love of
his people, for he really was a good man, and his humanity extended
to all the creation. Oh! what a source of happiness this love proved
to his feeling heart, and how often have I heard him exclaim, “Thank
God, my people are happy, and so am I through their happiness!” This,
however, was no more than a deception, for I, and those that were
about him, never would give him an opportunity to cast a look into the
most interior recesses of the system of government, and thus he was
deceived, and actually thought that his subjects were happy; but it was
not his fault, it was mine, for his heart was benevolence itself.
The vile creatures who flocked to my train, through the most infamous
windings, attempted to deprive him of the love of his people, and
became, in the fullest extent of the word, his rulers. But I must
return to my own story.
I was now possessed of princely palaces, and the pomp of royalty was
displayed in all my apartments. Ministers, generals, princes, and
noblemen, crowded my levees and courted my smiles. What could be more
natural than that the invidious should watch every step I took? The
privilege of being thus noticed by a great prince could not fail to
excite jealousy, and an opportunity soon offered to lay the foundation
of my ruin. The K--g, who was fond of variety in love, conceived a
violent passion for Miss V----, a young lady of the Court, a lady
endowed by nature with the most exquisite charms she could bestow upon
a favourite mortal. The name of Miss V----, till this very hour, is
never mentioned but with the highest respect. At the first outset her
virtue withstood every attack; but, when the K--g became more pressing,
and the nobility joined him in his pursuit, she yielded at last, but
on condition of a left-handed marriage. The K--g lived, during the
space of one full year, in the greatest happiness with Miss V----, and
I might, perhaps, have been entirely slighted and forgotten, had not a
dish of chocolate, administered at a proper time, rid me of a detested
rival, and the K--g of a love-sick enthusiast. I now once more was the
toast, and the sovereign-arbitratrix of my Royal Lover’s mind. Whatever
did not suit my plan, or harmonize with my views, was removed from
the sight of the monarch, and none but those who were of my party had
access to the closet.
My husband had likewise been put in the way of exercising the power of
influence, and of laying by treasures. Yet I was often vexed when I saw
that certain men, who could not possibly be denied, got admission to
the K--g; for I was always afraid, lest, some time or other, they might
have the assurance to paint me in my true colours.
It became adviseable, however, to think of securing a considerable part
of my wealth, for which purpose I projected a journey to Italy, where
I meant to dispose of my property as advantageously as I could. As I
lived in the first style of grandeur, the K--g was prevailed on to
confer the title of Countess of Lichtenau on me at the Court of Vienna.
The request was granted, and to enable me to maintain the dignity and
rank, I obtained a separation from Mr. Rietz. From that very instant
I was, on my return from Italy, admitted to all the circles and the
assemblies at Court. My daughter, who had been decorated with the title
of Countess of the Mark, was to marry none but a Count, and the King
intended to bestow an adequate dowry on her. Her suitors were many, and
amongst the rest Count Stolberg was preferred.
As the K--g was fond of amusement, I was pleased to see that W---- and
B---- entertained him with the Rosicrucian nonsense, and other magic
tricks. These ventriloquists could do me no harm; nay, on the contrary,
they were the means of persuading the K--g to any thing. It was at this
very period that I filled all the offices of Court with wretches of
my own choice. All the King did, spoke, and undertook, was faithfully
reported to me, and hence he must inevitably remain entangled in my net.
The French war broke out, and then it might be said I was truly
launched into my own element. B---- was employed by the Cabinet of
Vienna and the Court of St. ---- to bring things to bear with our K--g,
and he was several times obliged to undertake journeys to Vienna and to
Italy. The coalition was agreed on, and we marched against France. This
war was the very thing I wanted; for, as the King was busy, I took all
the opportunities I could to make him sensible of the licentiousness
of the people; and, as the expences had increased, and became more
multiplied than before, I had fair play to accumulate treasure in
proportion. My chief contributors, however, were Austria and ----, for
they would pay me abundantly for the part I took in persuading the King
not to recede from the coalition. But no man ever knew how to get me
over to his interest better than P--. For this purpose, he employed
his relation T----, who paid me his addresses for a long time, had
apartments in my palace, and partook of my table and carriage. Money
was my motto, just the same as it had been at the time when Jews and
Christians resorted to the house of Minna Encke, in Spandau-street.
It is a pity that this war, or, at least, the coalition, did not last
a little longer, for then I might, in fact, have realized my favorite
project, of purchasing some principality, for the flood of presents
flowed in without intermission.
We returned home without having effected any thing, and my chief object
was to secure the King’s affections by all the variety of pleasure and
entertainment I could possibly think of. I had in my palace a neat
little theatre, where I entertained the King with such pieces as seemed
to have been written for the very purpose of charming the senses. My
actresses were chosen from among the handsomest girls in all Berlin. I
always made them appear in such dresses as would add, if possible, to
their charms. With the same view, I generally chose the subjects of the
entertainment from mythology; for instance, Jove and Leda, Venus and
Cupid, Hymen’s Wake, &c. A celebrated man of learning of the capital,
the manager of my little theatre, took with a smile the presents which
the enchanted monarch gave him, and since that time abstained from
inveighing against the King’s mistress in his satirical writings.
Some disturbances, which took place in the provinces, and particularly
at Berlin, gave me the fairest opportunity to induce the King to
prohibit the publication of all such works as treated of liberty,
equality, and the imprescriptible rights of man, and in general of all
such trash.
A kind of inquisition, which, through my interference, was introduced
throughout the country, enabled me to obtain a knowledge of all the
pamphlets that represented me in my true colours to the world, and
to suppress them. And, if at any time some determined scribbler had
the audacity to transgress the limits of the liberty of thinking and
writing, it would, through the medium of my creatures, represent the
act as an attempt nothing short of high treason against the King’s
Majesty itself, in which case imprisonment for life, or banishment
from the King’s dominions, was the unavoidable consequence. Such was
the fate of the merchants Z---- C----, of Doctor K----, and of Captain
L----.
Upon the whole, my emissaries and I had, at that time, the most
absolute and unprecedented sway. The subject felt all the weight
of my despotic oppression, and the lash of my scourge. Frankness in
scientific debate, cordiality in mutual communication, and hilarity
in company, entirely disappeared. My spies were dreaded every where.
Upright magistrates, who pronounced sentence according to the
dictates of right and reason, were dismissed; those of the clergy,
who ventured to preach common sense, lost their places, and were
banished the country; the most important trials were superseded,
because the verdicts were expected to fall out against me and my
friends. Several of the public offices I caused to be given to my
creatures; I forged warrants of arrest, and orders of the cabinet;
rewarded spies, informers, and runners, with large sums of money
and honourable offices; nay, I had, without any apparent reason, a
young lady arrested, merely because I dreaded that her beauty would
supplant me. In a word, whatever did not pass through my hands, or
was not subservient to my schemes, was sure to be crushed. A certain
man in office, who repeatedly had embezzled the public money, sued
for my protection; I had him created a nobleman, and chief judge of
the Criminal Court. But, in return for this good office, he was, from
gratitude, bound to give his verdict in every cause that concerned
either me or my friends, as I would have it. He did indeed once attempt
to recede from it, and to have it his own way, in the affair with
Miss Belderbush; this was the name of the young lady, just before
mentioned; but I had influence enough to punish him for his temerity;
he was dismissed, and banished the kingdom. This was likewise the lot
of the Countess D----, and the Privy Counsellor G----, against whom a
suspicion of being concerned in a scheme of poisoning was urged, and
who were compelled to leave the P---- dominions. Such was at that time
the power of the trumpeter’s daughter, whose favour, thirty years back,
might be purchased for a dollar.
Rietz, my late husband, perfectly agreed with me in this point. This
man, who from a common labouring gardener, had risen to the office of
a Privy Chamberlain, had made it his study, and completely acquired,
the art of bending and twisting his lord and master to whatever shape
and form I wished, and of imbuing him with the most erroneous notions
concerning his subjects. He generally used to keep a pack of large
mastiffs, that would frighten away every unwelcome suppliant; and if
ever any one had the audacity of attempting to approach the K--g, he
was sure to be treated with a sound caning, and a few blows in his
face, and might think himself well off with the loss of half a dozen of
his teeth. As an instance of this, a poor young fellow, the only son
of a shoemaker, who had attempted to present a petition in behalf of
his distressed parents, was, by Mr. Rietz himself, well threshed, then
sent to the watch-house, and, by way of a lasting remembrance of his
temerity, forced as a soldier into a stationary regiment. Of all this
the King knew nothing, for his good and tender heart prompted him to
do justice and grant protection to the very meanest of his subjects;
he verily believed that his people were all happy and content; and had
he the least idea of any such cruel outrage, the perpetrator would
have been punished in the severest manner, even had it been my darling
Rietz himself. But his dogs were trained to know every avenue, so that
an access to the King was rendered altogether inaccessible. He also
knew how to avail himself of the influence he had over the King, and by
the proper management of this very influence a number of petitions and
complaints were suppressed, and condemned to the flames and silence,
many an order of the cabinet was deceitfully obtained, and the best
places under government were given to our party. This indeed was not
the means to inspire the people with love for their Sovereign, but what
was that to us? Provided the monarch could be made to believe that all
were happy and satisfied, and that there was no reason for complaint,
all was well enough; nay, the people themselves facilitated our views,
and strengthened the King in his good creed. On many public occasions,
they would hail their prince with loud applause and acclamation. _God
save the King_ was sung in German at the theatres and concerts, and the
best poets of the nation exhausted all their Parnassian fire to produce
a good parody of this favourite popular song of the people of England.
Every pamphlet, every newspaper, every production of the press, bore
testimony to the happiness of the people; in every one of them the
nation was represented as laying their allegiance and love at the foot
of the throne, ready to spend their last shilling, and shed the last
drop of their blood, in his support. Thus this easy good-natured prince
was led to believe that every thing was right, and that he lived in
the heart of his subjects, which he certainly did, notwithstanding our
oppression and injustice.
It must be confessed, that good master Rietz carried his insolence
rather too far. The wealth which, through just and unjust means, had
flowed into his coffers had inflated him with pride and vanity; he
became presumptive, brutal, and rough; he therefore thought he might
bear down every thing before him by main force. The tricks, which he
played behind his master’s back, deprived the King of a share of the
affections of his people; distress, fear, and smothered resentment, had
got possession of every heart. Very often the blood of the desperate
wretch would flow from this sole consideration, that nothing was to
be done with the K--g, let the cause be ever so just. This indeed was
too hard. I have, however, pretty well succeeded in mortifying his
presumption. This proud _ci-devant_ gardener’s boy once took it into
his head to fall in love with Madam B----s. He had even gone so far as
to project a marriage with her, when at once a warrant was issued from
the cabinet, by virtue of which the lady was removed from the Berlin
stage, and an end was put to the farce. His mind was tortured with
mortification and shame, and he found himself reluctantly obliged to
see his fair one, without friend or protector, cast on the wide world.
But the wretch deceived me after all, and cringed and flattered till I
winked at his presumption, and let him bear away his prize.
As the K--g evinced a great predilection for every thing supernatural,
a predilection which he had derived from his intercourse with the
Rosicrusians, and from all the magic tricks they had played off before
him, I was highly pleased at the arrival of the Chevalier Pinetti
de Mercy. This man sought my protection, and I was very willing to
grant it. Furnished with numberless recommendations, and dressed
out, like a nobleman, with laced and embroidered clothes, watches,
and rings, set with valuable brilliants, his access to the king was
not very difficult. This fellow in fact was nothing but a charlatan,
but he was well skilled in the art of deception, so that I saw his
mountebankism might be of use to me and my party. His tricks with cards
consisted in nothing but legerdemain, and I placed no value on them;
on the other hand, his physical deceptions, as he pleased to term
them, were the more entertaining. The K--g was highly pleased with
his physical deceptions, made him a present of five thousand dollars
for the erection of a theatre, and gave him the title of Professor of
Physic of the Court, with a pension of six hundred dollars a year.
This prodigality of course rouzed the envy of the philosophers of
Berlin, and, among others, one Professor Kofmann ventured to publish
a treatise on Pinetti’s work, in which he called his paltry tricks
the _ne plus ultra_ of natural philosophy. The Professor, in this
pamphlet, endeavoured to prove, that every thing was pretty clear and
natural, and that the famous Pinetti was neither more nor less than a
common legerdemain conjuror. The chevalier was very much displeased
at this publication, and wrote the Professor word, that, if he did
not immediately suppress his work, and apologize for the epithets of
_conjuror_ and _mountebank_, he, Mr. Pinetti, would give the Professor
an answer _à l’Italiana_. Pinetti was in right earnest, and preferred
his complaints against Kofmann to the K--g. The Professor justified
himself by transmitting to his Majesty a copy of the work, and
assuring him, that his only motive for writing it was to give a hint
to the students of the military school not to suffer themselves to be
deceived by appearances. The K--g smiled, and Kofmann got off without
any farther molestation. This work has nevertheless done poor Pinetti
a great deal of injury. He wrote to me from St. Petersburg: “Dear
Countess, It is enough to make a man run crazy, to see how my physical
experiments have been hissed and hooted at Konigsberg; on my first
performance, the greatest number of my spectators had the pamphlet of
that meddling Professor Kofmann in their hands, and laughed and scoffed
at me; and after the third exhibition I was compelled to close my
theatre, or exhibit to empty benches. Here the patriarch of Jacobinism,
that infernal Kant, lives and plays his tricks; here is the very den
of the red-capped Jacobin gang, and his Majesty would do well, for the
benefit of his own dominions, to destroy this nest of wasps and vipers,
and to prohibit Kant, who besides is an old man, all manner of reading
and writing. Ah! with what extacy all flocked at Berlin to the divine
Pinetti! the high and the low, the wealthy and the great, were charmed,
whenever Pinetti deigned to address them. Here in St. Petersburg things
go on better, &c.”
At this time I had made a second journey to Italy, and brought to
Berlin the celebrated Vizano and her husband. I could not possibly have
procured the K--g a greater pleasure than the opportunity of seeing
and admiring those two famous dancers. As Vizano had left the stage at
Vienna on account of his being so violently in love with her, I thought
I could keep her at Berlin; but these capering wretches had no other
view but to make money, and would on no account enter into my projects.
I therefore had a number of pupils and figuranti regularly trained up,
who alternately performed on my little private theatre, which answered
my purposes very well. To these means I then had recourse; for, as I
began to be aware that my charms were on the decline, and incapable of
any longer rivetting the fetters of my lover; and, as he besides was
fond of variety, I invented a thousand novelties, and called forth all
my ingenuity to retain him in my net.
To this point I succeeded so completely, that the K--g never undertook
a step in his amours without consulting me. Besides, I had by that
time acquired a perfect knowledge of the mysteries in which I had been
initiated during my stay in France and Italy, and for which I had
paid very considerable sums. This consisted in the mixture of certain
narcotic ingredients, which I administered to the K--g in his drink,
and which had the effect of weakening his nerves and of troubling his
imagination. By these means I obtained a constant sway over him, and
this very artificial weakness proved the rod with which I chastised
and governed him. I had moreover become a great proficient in the
Machiavelian principles, and occasionally knew how to make use of
them to my advantage. The rack, the whip, and banishment, were lucky
discoveries, and stood in the order of the day; and, however humane
the K--g might be, however averse from severity, except in cases of
convicted guilt, I, nevertheless, had through artifice and cunning so
far succeeded, that every one trembled at the thoughts of my unlimited
power, and yet blamed the K--g for its effects. Thus he was often, but
as often unjustly, called a tyrant; for he was in fact the most just,
the most humane, of princes. It was his weakness, of which I availed
myself, that put him in this odious light, and my manner of treating
the people caused them to murmur and to complain. I would intercept
letters, and by the aid of my helpmates had new ones forged; I likewise
had orders of the cabinet distributed. The Courts of Justice, on my
request, were forced to deliver up original deeds and papers, which
I then arbitrarily committed to the flames. Through my Machiavelian
arts, I obtained the sums that were requisite for the expences of my
household, my buildings, and travels. In short, every thing was at my
command. This was the rage of the trumpeter’s daughter.
Yet my pride was not satisfied. It is obvious, that the Court, the
nobility, and all the great people in the kingdom, must hate me, though
in public they would shew me every mark of respect; I knew this, and
would be revenged. There happened to be a great _fête_ at Court, at
which none but the Royal Family and the most distinguished persons
among the nobility were to appear; that was to be the scene of my
vengeance. I prevailed upon the K--g to be permitted to appear at Court
as Countess of Lichtenau. General ---- ushered me in; I was dressed in
a royal robe, showered all over with diamonds and precious stones. The
Royal Family turned their backs upon me, and I was noticed by none but
the courtiers. I was vexed, and complained to the K--g. “_Il faut faire
bonne mine à mauvais jeu_,” said he, and gently tapped my cheeks.
On the next morning my steward brought me word, that all my fine
furniture at my seat at Charlottenberg had been broken to pieces, the
beds ripped open, and the costly feathers of down strewed all over the
rooms. I suspected immediately who was the perpetrator, and brought my
complaints before the K--g, who made up threefold for the loss I had
sustained.
During my stay at Franckfort, I formed an acquaintance with the Marquis
Mousons, whom the revolution had compelled to leave France. He was
both a shrewd and a handsome man, almost as cunning and as artful
as Pinetti. At my request he was made reader to the K--g; he was a
perfect master of the art of diverting the monarch’s _ennui_ and ill
temper through his wit and humour, and through that frivolity which has
fallen particularly to the lot of the French. He courted my affections,
but with such respect and submission as were a thousand times more
flattering to me than the tenderest caresses of the most enamoured fop.
He gradually gained my confidence, and, at last, a certain intimacy
took place between us, which put me in the possession of many a
valuable secret. He completed me in the sublime politics of Machiavel,
and we formed and established a society, to which none but such were
admitted as had been rigorously tried. The principle members were
B----, W----, H----, H----, O----, B----, A----, G----, P---- du B----,
R----; myself and Mousons were permanent presidents.
Our orders were executed by my brother and a relation of mine, one
Kunassius, a huntsman, and the watchman of our assembly.
Here are a few of the articles which Mousons had drawn up, and which
every member was obliged to keep sacred on his oath.
The first law of all was the most inviolate secrecy, and rather to
suffer to have the tongue cut out than betray a single secret of the
society.
All the members that were chosen must promise to watch every one
with whom they should happen to have any intercourse, and to listen
attentively to all their discourses. To report faithfully, and in
writing, to me and Mousons, all they had observed and heard. They
were to insinuate themselves into the Courts of Judicature, and every
now and then to undertake little trips into the country, in order to
discover what was going forward there, either to our advantage or
disadvantage. This arrangement enabled me to be informed of every
thing that happened in the cabinet of the K--g, the ministers, and the
generals; to know all the verdicts given in the different departments
of the law and police, as also all the orders issued in every regiment.
I was acquainted with the secrets of every family, nay, with the
temper of almost every individual person, and, of course, might take my
measures accordingly.
Each member had, for the private use of his correspondence, the
following figures or cyphers:
12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 13, 14, 15,
a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, k, l, m, n, o, p,
16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24.
q, r, s, t, u, w, x, y, z.
If any of our letters had been intercepted, it still would, with these
precautions, have been difficult to unravel their contents. Besides
the above cyphers, Mousons, I, and B----, had other different sets of
figures, which we changed from time to time, and as circumstances would
require.
Our principles admitted assassination, suicide, poisoning, murder,
perjury, treason, rebellion, and, in short, all the means which
_prejudiced men_ have termed crimes.
Much less obedience was to be shewn to the K--g and the laws than
to me. And should any one presume to adhere to the K--g and the
magistrates rather than to me, he must be crushed, as it was the case
with E---- and the architect B----.
A general confusion in the government must, of course, increase the
extent of my power, and, therefore, it was our grand object to excite
distrust in the K--g against his subjects, in the ministers against
their subalterns, and in the counsellors against their own colleagues.
No power could save the man who shewed me the least shadow of neglect
or contempt.
We had found means to bribe those who were employed at the post-offices
in the country-towns, and they would let us have certain letters, which
we either destroyed or opened and sealed again, without its being
visible.
We even had our emissaries in foreign countries, who were to endeavour
to get admittance to the houses of the great, of the foreign ministers,
and the rich merchants, with a view of exciting dissention between
the rulers of those respective countries and their subjects, between
parents and children, and between the most intimate friends. They
were to form cabals, invent calumnies, rouse hatred and suspicion
against any thing that did not agree with our plan, and to persecute
our antagonists with poison and dagger. Religion itself was not to
be spared when our welfare required it so. They were to seize every
opportunity to interfere with politics, to excite commotions, to
preach rebellion, and through bribery to work up the people to revolt.
By means of this extended connexion, my power became so immense; by
this I carried every thing. It was this that made the world wonder how,
with her withered charms, the Countess of Lichtenau could manage to
lead the K--g which way she chose. The end sanctifies the means, said
my great tutor, Machiavel, and Mousons would analyze this doctrine with
me in its most minute details. He likewise was the man who initiated me
into the mysteries of the God and the Goddess of Love, and let me into
such secrets as no man before him had yet opened to my eyes. Oh! this
Mousons was a great genius! and his gallantry was the true gallantry of
a Frenchman.
I succeeded in persuading the K--g that the use of the waters of
Pyrmont would prove highly beneficial to his health.
Mousons wrote to Hamburgh for a set of French players; every kind
of amusement imaginable was thought of to entertain the monarch. He
suffered, indeed, inexpressibly from a pectoral dropsy. Pyrmont was
converted into paradise upon earth; we had balls, operas, fire-works,
cassinos, suppers, dinners, breakfasts, horse-races. All turned
round the K--g in a perpetual circle of diversion, and the fair sex
particularly strove to attract the eye of the illustrious guest.
I there, likewise, had a little adventure, which particularly concerned
myself. The Prince of W----, the proprietor of Pyrmont, fell deeply in
love with me, and made me a formal proposal of marriage. I had resolved
to exchange the title of a Countess for that of a Princess, and things
had gone so far that I had even obtained the K--g’s permission for the
purpose. But some minister, who, at an ominous hour, dissuaded him from
the purchase of Pyrmont, threw such obstacles in my way, as entirely
blasted this glorious marriage. I would have been revenged of him, had
not the sudden weakness of the K--g hastened our departure for Potsdam.
I left Pyrmont with a heavy heart, and with a still heavier heart I
arrived, in the K--g’s company, at the Marble-palace, at Potsdam. Oh!
could I have the least notion that this journey was to put an end to
all my glory? Was it possible for me to have the remotest shadow of a
dream, that the powerful, the adored, the immortalized, the dreaded,
Countess of Lichtenau, like an abject criminal, should be kept in
close confinement, in the very same palace where, sovereign like, she
dictated laws to a mighty monarch, and a mighty people, that had so
often groaned under the weight of her oppressive despotism? Could I
have thought to see myself some time scoffed at, derided, and despised,
by enemies, who rejoiced at my downfall, and to whom the clank of my
chains is the harmony of music? To see myself the object of satire
and abuse in all the newspapers, pamphlets, ballads, and other vile
publications, in which my fame, my rank, and title, are traduced with
unparallelled licentiousness? Could I have thought that my divine, my
dearest-beloved Mousons, he, the prototype and mirror of the virtues
of all the French emigrants, loaded with irons, should be dragged a
prisoner to the fortress of Magdeburg? Alas! my journey to Pyrmont
proved the tomb of my glory; the divine music which I heard in that
enchanting scene of dissipation was converted into a mournful dirge to
attend my bier. Those whom I have oppressed and wantonly tormented now
rise against me, and loudly proclaim their own wrongs, and the infamy
of the prostitute that squandered away the little product of their hard
money, and carried millions into foreign countries. The sound of their
cries strikes my ear with double horror, for, alas! it is the voice of
truth!
Until the K--g’s death, I never dreamed things would go so far with
me; hence I kept up my usual mode of living, and, together with my
associates, had nothing else in view but to amuse the Monarch. He was
frequently subject to a temporary absence of mind, and experienced,
besides, the most unpleasant symptoms of body. To assuage the one and
the other, I used to administer to him corroborating draughts and
narcotic powders. Alas! I did not know that I was busily employed in
laying the speedy foundation of my own ruin, for these very medicines
tended to enfeeble his constitution, and, instead of restoring health,
had the contrary effect, which was daily visible. The vivacity of
Mousons, the gambols of my dancing nymphs and sportive Naïades were
called into assistance to dissipate the clouds that settled on the
Sovereign’s brow, to do which myself I had the power no more.
As the K--g had been ordered to take much exercise, I used to accompany
him in a small triumphal car, in which he took frequent airings in
the gardens of the Marble-palace. The access to his person had been
strictly forbidden, and I had the sole and uninterrupted enjoyment
of his presence. At that time I dispatched Mousons to Hamburgh with
some secret papers, which I had found in the red pocket-book, with
directions to communicate them to Lord ----, who was then at that
place. These papers consisted of the secret articles of the peace
which had been concluded with France; they answered my purpose
exceedingly well, and I was paid for them with a good round sum of
E----h g----. Cursed pocket-book! thou art the cause of my misfortune;
I have to thank thee for my confinement. Hadst thou not been discovered
in my possession, what could the new K--g have urged against the
Countess of Lichtenau? Perhaps my being the K--g’s mistress. Who had
a right to interfere with that? Who dared to find fault with that?
Had not the Rev. Dr. H----, one of the ecclesiastical board, a few
years ago, openly declared, that the country ought to vote thanks to
the Countess of Lichtenau for promoting the purity of the Christian
religion? But I am guilty of a crime against the state; I am guilty of
high treason; there lies the rub; there the cause of my anxiety, and my
fear of imprisonment for life. Hence the remorse that preys on my mind
day and night, and which deprives me of sleep and rest in the gloomy
walls of my prison.
By the joint advice of Mousons and Rietz, I gave the K--g a _fête_,
the gaiety of which was to surpass every thing. The spot pitched upon
for this purpose was one of those gardens at Potsdam which we called
the English gardens, and in which the beauties and the deformities of
nature are all collected and contrasted with each other on a few acres
of land. This spot was kept under lock and key by one of the trusty
guards of the association. My Naïades, Cupids, Sylphs, and Nymphs,
scarcely veiled with transparent gauze, opened this divertisement, and
the first beauties were selected to heighten the glowing scene. After
the pantomime commenced a ball.