THE days of holiday were over, and for each of them the duties of life
were waiting. For him it was his work, and for her, her housekeeping.
They both welcomed the change, for there was a rush and a want of privacy
about the hotel life which had been amusing at first, but was now
becoming irksome. It was pleasant, as they rolled out of Waterloo
Station that summer night, to know that their cosy little home was
awaiting them just five-and-twenty miles down the line. They had a
first-class carriage to themselves—it is astonishing how easy it is for
two people to fit into one of those armchair partitions,—and they talked
all the way down about their plans for the future. Golden visions of
youth, how they can glorify even a suburban villa and four hundred a
year! They exulted together over the endless vista of happy days which
stretched before them.
Mrs. Watson, Frank’s trusty housekeeper, had been left in charge of The
Lindens, and he had sent her a telegram the evening before to tell her
that they were coming. She had already engaged the two servants, so
everything would be ready for them. They pictured her waiting at the
door, the neat little rooms with all their useful marriage-presents in
their proper places, the lamplight and the snowy cloth laid for supper in
the dining-room. It would be ten o’clock before they got there, and that
supper would be a welcome sight. It was all delightful to look forward
to, and this last journey was the happiest of all their wanderings.
Maude wanted to see her kitchen. Frank wanted to see his books. Both
were eager for the fight.
But they found a small annoyance waiting for them at Woking. A crowded
train had preceded them, and there was not a single cab left at the
station. Some would be back soon, but nobody could tell when.
‘You don’t mind walking, Maude?’
‘I should prefer it.’
So a friendly porter took charge of their trunks, and promised to send
them up when a conveyance had arrived. In the meantime they started off
together down an ill-lit and ill-kept road, which opened into that more
important thoroughfare in which their own villa was situated. They
walked quickly, full of eager anticipations.
‘It’s just past the third lamp-post on the right,’ said Frank. ‘Now it’s
only the second lamp-post. You see it will not be far from the station.
Those windows among the trees are where Hale lives—my best man, you know!
Now it is only one lamp-post!’ They quickened their pace almost to a
run, and so arrived at the gate of The Lindens.
It was a white gate leading into a short path—‘carriage sweep’ the
house-agent called it,—and so to a low but comfortable-looking little
house. The night was so dark that one could only see its outline. To
their surprise, there was no sign of a light either above the door or at
any of the windows.
‘Well, I’m blessed!’ cried Frank.
‘Never mind, dear. They live at the back, no doubt.’
‘But I gave them the hour. This is too bad. I am so sorry.’
‘It will be all the more cosy inside. What a dear little gate this is!
The whole place is perfectly charming.’
But in spite of her brave attempts at making the best of it, it could not
be denied that this black house was not what they had pictured in their
dreams. Frank strode angrily up the path and pulled at the bell. There
was no answer, so he knocked violently. Then he knocked with one hand
while he rang with the other, but no sound save that of the clanging bell
came from the gloomy house. As they stood forlornly in front of their
own hall-door, a soft rain began to rustle amidst the bushes. At this
climax of their troubles Maude burst into such a quiet, hearty,
irresistible fit of laughter, that the angry Frank was forced to laugh
also.
‘My word, it will be no laughing matter for Mrs. Watson if she cannot
give a good reason for it,’ said he.
‘Perhaps the poor woman is ill.’
‘But there should be two other people, the cook and the housemaid. It is
just as well that we did not bring up our trunks, or we should have had
to dump them down in the front garden. You wait here, dear, under the
shelter of the porch, and I will walk round and see if I can burgle it.’
He tried the back, but it was as dark as the front, and the kitchen-door
was locked. Then he prowled unhappily in the rain from window to window.
They were all fastened. He came back to the kitchen-door, poked his
stick through the glass which formed the upper panel, and then putting
his hand through the hole, he turned the key, and so stumbled into the
obscurity of his own hall. He passed through it, unlocked the front
door, and received Maude into his open arms.
‘Welcome to your home, my own darling girl. May you never have one sad
hour under this roof! What a dismal home-coming! What can I do to make
amends? But good comes out of evil, you see, for in no other possible
way could I have been inside to welcome you when you entered.’
They stayed in the hall in the dark some time, these wet and foolish
young people. Then Frank struck a match, and tried to light the
hall-lamp. There was no oil in it. He muttered something vigorous, and
carried his burning vesta into the dining-room. Two candles were
standing on the sideboard. He lit them both, and things began to look a
little more cheerful. They took a candle each and began to explore their
own deserted house.
The dining-room was excellent—small, but very snug. The Tantalus
spirit-stand—stood upon the walnut sideboard, and the bronzes from the
cricket-club looked splendid upon each side of the mantelpiece. Beside
the clock in the centre lay an open telegram. Frank seized it eagerly.
‘There now!’ he cried. ‘Listen to this. “Expect us on Thursday evening
about ten.” It was _Tuesday_ evening, I said. That’s the telegraphic
clerk. We’ve come two days before our time.’
It was good to have any sort of explanation, although it left a great
deal unexplained. They passed through the hall with its shining
linoleum, and into the drawing-room. It was not a very good room, too
square for elegance, but they were in no humour for criticism, and it was
charming to see all the old knick-knacks, and the photographs of friends
in their frames. A big wrought-iron and brass-work standing lamp towered
up near the fireplace, but again there was no oil.
‘I think that Mrs. Watson has arranged it all splendidly,’ said Maude,
whose active fingers were already beginning to reconstruct. ‘But where
can she be?’
‘She must be out, for, of course, she lives in the house. But it is the
absence of the servants which amazes me, for I understood that they had
arrived. What would you like to do?’
‘Aren’t you hungry, Frank?’
‘Simply starving.’
‘So am I.’
‘Well, then, let us forage and see if we cannot find something to eat.’
So hand in hand, and each with a candle in the other hand, like a pair of
young penitents, they continued their explorations with more purpose than
before. The kitchen, into which they penetrated, had clearly been much
used of late, for there were dirty dishes scattered about, and the fire
had been lighted, though it was now out. In one corner was what seemed
to be a pile of drab-coloured curtains. In the other, an armchair lay
upon its side with legs projecting. A singular disorder, very alien to
Mrs. Watson’s habits, pervaded the apartment. A dresser with a cupboard
over it claimed the first attention of the hungry pair. With a cheer
from Frank and hand-clapping from Maude, they brought out a new loaf of
bread, some butter, some cheese, a tin of cocoa, and a bowl full of eggs.
Maude tied an apron over her pretty russet dress, seized some sticks and
paper, and had a fire crackling in a very few minutes.
‘Put some water in the kettle, Frank.’
‘Here you are! Anything else?’
‘Some in the small saucepan for the eggs.’
‘I believe they are “cookers,”’ said he, sniffing at them suspiciously.
‘Hold them up to the light, sir. There, they are quite bright and nice.
In with them! Now, if you will cut some bread and butter it, we shall
soon have our supper ready.’
‘It’s too new to cut,’ cried Frank, sawing away upon the kitchen table.
‘Besides, new bread is better in chunks. Here are some cloths and knives
and forks in the dresser drawer. I will go and lay the table.’
‘And leave me here alone. No please, Frank, if I am cook, you must be
scullery-maid. Get the cups down and put the cocoa in them. What fun it
all is! I think it is simply _splendid_ to be mistress of a house.’
‘With one scullery-maid.’
‘And she perfectly incompetent, and much given to embracing her mistress.
I must take my hat off. Get the sugar for the cocoa out of the cupboard.
The kettle is singing, so it won’t be long. Do you know, Frank’—she
paused, listening, with the egg-saucepan in her hands. ‘There’s a dog or
something in the room.’
They had both become aware of a sort of sibilant breathing, and they
looked round them in bewilderment.
‘Where is it?’ asked Maude. ‘Frank, I believe it’s a mouse.’
‘Hope for the best. Don’t frighten yourself unnecessarily. I fancy it
comes from under these curtains.’ He approached them with his candle,
and was suddenly aware of a boot which was projecting from them. ‘Great
Scot!’ he cried, ‘there’s a woman here asleep.’
Reassured as to the mouse, Maude approached with her saucepan still
clutched in her hand. There could be no doubt either as to the woman or
the sleep. She lay in an untidy heap, her head under the table, and her
figure sprawling. She appeared to be a very large woman.
‘Hullo!’ cried Frank, shaking her by the shoulder. ‘Hullo, you there!’
But the woman slumbered peacefully on.
‘Heh, wake up, wake up!’ he shouted, and pulled her up into a sitting
position. But she slept as soundly sitting as lying.
‘The poor thing must be ill,’ said Maude. ‘O Frank, shall I run for a
doctor?’
‘Wake up, woman, wake up!’ Frank yelled, and danced her up and down. She
flopped about like a sawdust doll, with her arms swinging in front of
her. He panted with his exertions, but she was serenely unconscious. At
last he had to lower her on to the floor again, putting a footstool under
her head.
‘It’s no go,’ said he. ‘I can make nothing of her. She will sleep it
off.’
‘You don’t mean to say, Frank, that she is—’
‘Indeed I do.’
‘How horrible!’
‘That kettle is boiling now. Suppose we have our supper.’
‘Dear Frank, I could not enjoy my supper with that unfortunate woman
lying there. O Frank, I know that you could not either.’
‘Bless her!’ said Frank bitterly, as he gazed at the inert lump. ‘I
really don’t see why we should put ourselves out for her. She is quite
comfortable.’
‘Oh I couldn’t, Frank. It would seem inhuman.’
‘What are we to do, then?’
‘We must put her to bed.’
‘Great heavens!’
‘Yes, dear, it is our duty to put her to bed.’
‘But look here, my dear girl, we must be practical. The woman weighs
half a ton, and the bedrooms are at the top of the house. It’s simply
impossible.’
‘Don’t you think, Frank, that if you took her head and I took her feet,
we might get her up?’
‘Not up the stair, dear. She is enormous.’
‘Well, then, on to the drawing-room sofa,’ said Maude. ‘I could have my
supper, if I knew that she was safe upon the sofa.’
So Frank, seeing that there was no help for it, seized her under the
arms, and Maude took her ankles, and they bore her, bulging but serene,
down the passage. They staggered exhausted into the drawing-room, and
the new sofa groaned beneath the weight. It was a curious and unsavoury
inaugural ceremony. Maude put a rug over the prostrate form, and they
returned to their boiling kettle and their uncooked eggs. Then they laid
the table, and served the supper, and enjoyed this picnic meal of their
own creating as no conventional meal could ever have been enjoyed.
Everything seemed beautiful to the young wife—the wall-paper, the
pictures, the carpet, the rug; but to him, she was so beautiful in mind,
and soul, and body, that her presence turned the little room into an
enchanted chamber. They sat long together, and marvelled at their own
happiness—that pure serene happiness of mere companionship, which is so
much more intimate and deeper than all the transports of passion.
But suddenly he sprang from his chair. There was the sound of steps, of
several steps, outside upon the gravel path. Then a key clicked, and a
burst of cold air told them that the door was open.
‘It’s agin’ the law for me to enter,’ said a gruff voice.
‘I tell you she’s very strong and violent,’ said a second voice, which
Frank recognised as that of Mrs. Watson. ‘She chased the maid out of the
house, and I can do nothing with her.’
‘Very sorry, mum, but it’s clean agin’ the law of England. Give me a
warrant, and in I come. If you will bring her to the doorstep, I will be
answerable for her removal.’
‘She’s in the dining-room. I can see the lights,’ said Mrs. Watson; and
then, ‘Good Lord, Mr. Crosse, what a fright you gave me! Oh dear me,
that you should have come when I was out, and I not expecting you for
another two days yet. Well, now, I shall never forgive myself for this.’
But all the mistakes and misfortunes were very quickly explained. The
telegram was the root of the evil. And then the new cook had proved to
be a violent, intermittent drunkard. She had chased the other maid out
of the house, and then, while Mrs. Watson rushed for the police, she had
drunk herself into the stupor in which she had been found. But now, in
the nick of time, the station cab came up with the luggage, and so the
still placidly slumbering culprit was carried out to it, and sent off in
the charge of the policeman. Such was the first entry of Mr. and Mrs.
Crosse into their home at The Lindens.