CHAPTER XXXI

"THE MAN WITH THE GREETIN' EYES"

For many days she lay in a fever at the doctor's house, seeming

sometimes to know where she was, but more often not, and night after

night a man with a drawn face sat watching her. They entreated, they

forced him to let them take his place; but from his room he heard her

moan or speak, or he thought he heard her, or he heard a terrible

stillness, and he stole back to listen; they might send him away, but

when they opened the door he was there, with his drawn face. And often

they were glad to see him, for there were times when he alone could

interpret her wild demands and soothe those staring eyes.

Once a scream startled the house. Someone had struck a match in the

darkened chamber, and she thought she was in an arbour in St. Gian.

They had to hold her in her bed by force at times; she had such a long

way to walk before night, she said.

She would struggle into a sitting posture and put her hands over her

ears.

Her great desire was not to sleep. "I should wake up," she explained

fearfully.

She took a dislike to Elspeth, and called her "Alice."

These ravings, they said to each other, must have reference to what

happened to her when she was away, and as they thought he knew no more

of her wanderings than they, everyone marvelled at the intuition with

which he read her thoughts. It was he who guessed that the striking of

matches somehow terrified her; he who discovered that it was a horrid

roaring river she thought she heard, and he pretended he heard it too,

and persuaded her that if she lay very still it would run past.

Nothing she said or did puzzled him. He read the raving of her mind,

they declared admiringly, as if he held the cipher to it.

"And the cipher is his love," Mrs. McLean said, with wet eyes. In the

excitement of those days Elspeth talked much to her of Tommy's love

for Grizel, and how she had refused him, and it went round the town

with embellishments. It was generally believed now that she really had

gone to London to see her father, and that his heartless behaviour had

unhinged her mind.

By David's advice, Corp and Gavinia did not contradict this story. It

was as good as another, he told them, and better than the truth.

But what was the truth? they asked greedily.

"Oh, that he is a noble fellow," David replied grimly.

They knew that, but--

He would tell them no more, however, though he knew all. Tommy had

made full confession to the doctor, even made himself out worse than

he was, as had to be his way when he was not making himself out

better.

"And I am willing to proclaim it all from the market-place," he said

hoarsely, "if that is your wish."

"I daresay you would almost enjoy doing that," said David, rather

cruelly.

"I daresay I should," Tommy said, with a gulp, and went back to

Grizel's side. It was not, you may be sure, to screen him that David

kept the secret; it was because he knew what many would say of Grizel

if the nature of her journey were revealed. He dared not tell Elspeth,

even; for think of the woe to her if she learned that it was her

wonderful brother who had brought Grizel to this pass! The Elspeths of

this world always have some man to devote himself to them. If the

Tommies pass away, the Davids spring up. For my own part, I think

Elspeth would have found some excuse for Tommy. He said so himself to

the doctor, for he wanted her to be told.

"Or you would find the excuse for her in time," David responded.

"Very likely," Tommy said. He was humble enough now, you see. David

could say one thing only which would rouse him, namely, that Grizel

was not to die in this fever; and for long it seemed impossible to say

that.

"Would you have her live if her mind remains affected?" he asked; and

Tommy said firmly, "Yes."

"You think, I suppose, that then you would have less for which to

blame yourself!"

"I suppose that is it. But don't waste time on me, Gemmell, when you

have her life to save, if you can."

Well, her life was saved, and Tommy's nursing had more to do with it

than David's skill. David admitted it; the town talked of it. "I aye

kent he would find a wy," Corp said, though he had been among the most

anxious. He and Aaron Latta were the first admitted to see her, when

she was able once more to sit in a chair. They had been told to ask

her no questions. She chatted pleasantly to them, and they thought she

was quite her old self. They wondered to see Tommy still so sad-eyed.

To Ailie she spoke freely of her illness, though not of what had

occasioned it, and told her almost gleefully that David had promised

to let her sew a little next week. There was one thing only that

surprised Ailie. Grizel had said that as soon as she was a little

stronger she was going home.

"Does she mean to her father's house?" Ailie asked.

This was what started the report that, touched no doubt by her

illness, Grizel's unknown father had, after all, offered her a home.

They discovered, however, what Grizel meant by home when, one

afternoon, she escaped, unseen, from the doctor's house, and was found

again at Double Dykes, very indignant because someone had stolen the

furniture.

She seemed to know all her old friends except Elspeth, who was still

Alice to her. Seldom now did she put her hands over her ears, or see

horrible mountains marching with her. She no longer remembered, save

once or twice when she woke up, that she had ever been out of Thrums.

To those who saw her casually she was Grizel--gone thin and pale and

weak intellectually, but still the Grizel of old, except for the fixed

idea that Double Dykes was her home.

"You must not humour her in that delusion," David said sternly to

Tommy; "when we cease to fight it we have abandoned hope."

So the weapon he always had his hand on was taken from Tommy, for he

would not abandon hope. He fought gallantly. It was always he who

brought her back from Double Dykes. She would not leave it with any

other person, but she came away with him.

"It's because she's so fond o' him," Corp said.

But it was not. It was because she feared him, as all knew who saw

them together. They were seen together a great deal when she was able

to go out. Driving seemed to bring back the mountains to her eyes, so

she walked, and it was always with the help of Tommy's arm. "It's a

most pitiful sight," the people said. They pitied him even more than

her, for though she might be talking gaily to him and leaning heavily

on him, they could see that she mistrusted him. At the end of a sweet

smile she would give him an ugly, furtive look.

"She's like a cat you've forced into your lap," they said, "and it

lies quiet there, ready to jump the moment you let go your grip."

They wondered would he never weary. He never wearied. Day after day he

was saying the same things to her, and the end was always as the

beginning. They came back to her entreaty that she should be allowed

to go home as certainly as they came back to the doctor's house.

"It is a long time, you know, Grizel, since you lived at Double

Dykes--not since you were a child."

"Not since I was a child," she said as if she quite understood.

"Then you went to live with your dear, kind doctor, you remember. What

was his name?"

"Dr. McQueen. I love him."

"But he died, and he left you his house to live in. It is your home,

Grizel. He would be so grieved if he thought you did not make it your

home."

"It is my home," she said proudly; but when they returned to it she

was loath to go in. "I want to go home!" she begged.

One day he took her to her rooms in Corp's house, thinking her old

furniture would please her; and that was the day when she rocked her

arms joyously again. But it was not the furniture that made her so

happy; it was Corp's baby.

"Oh, oh!" she cried in rapture, and held out her arms; and he ran into

them, for there was still one person in Thrums who had no fear of

Grizel.

"It will be a damned shame," Corp said huskily, "if that woman never

has no bairns o' her ain."

They watched her crooning over the child, playing with him for a long

time. You could not have believed that she required to be watched. She

told him with hugs that she had come back to him at last; it was her

first admission that she knew she had been away and a wild hope came

to Tommy that along the road he could not take her she might be drawn

by this little child.

She discovered a rent in the child's pinafore and must mend it at

once. She ran upstairs, as a matter of course, to her work-box, and

brought down a needle and thread. It was quite as if she was at home

at last.

"But you don't live here now, Grizel," Tommy said, when she drew back

at his proposal that they should go away; "you live at the doctor's

house."

"Do I, Gavinia?" she said beseechingly.

"Is it here you want to bide?" Corp asked, and she nodded her head

several times.

"It would be so much more convenient," she said, looking at the child.

"Would you take her back, Gavinia," Tommy asked humbly, "if she

continues to want it?"

Gavinia did not answer.

"Woman!" cried Corp.

"I'm mortal wae for her," Gavinia said slowly, "but she needs to be

waited on hand and foot."

"I would come and do the waiting on her hand and foot, Gavinia," Tommy

said.

And so it came about that a week afterwards Grizel was reinstalled in

her old rooms. Every morning when Tommy came to see her she asked him,

icily how Alice was. She seemed to think that Alice, as she called

her, was his wife. He always replied, "You mean Elspeth," and she

assented, but only, it was obvious, because she feared to contradict

him. To Corp and Gavinia she would still say passionately, "I want to

go home!" and probably add fearfully, "Don't tell him."

Yet though this was not home to her, she seemed to be less unhappy

here than in the doctor's house, and she found a great deal to do. All

her old skill in needlework came back to her, and she sewed for the

child such exquisite garments that she clapped her hands over them.

One day Tommy came with a white face and asked Gavinia if she knew

whether a small brown parcel had been among the things brought by

Grizel from the doctor's house.

"It was in the box sent after me from Switzerland," he told her, "and

contained papers."

Gavinia had seen no such package.

"She may have hidden it," he said, and they searched, but fruitlessly.

He questioned Grizel gently, but questions alarmed her, and he

desisted.

"It does not matter, Gavinia," he said, with a ghastly smile; but on

the following Sunday, when Corp called at the doctor's house, the

thought "Have they found it?" leaped in front of all thought of

Grizel. This was only for the time it takes to ask a question with the

eyes, however, for Corp was looking very miserable.

"I'm sweer to say it," he announced to Tommy and David, "but it has to

be said. We canna keep her."

Evidently something had happened, and Tommy rose to go to Grizel

without even asking what it was. "Wait," David said, wrinkling his

eyebrows, "till Corp tells us what he means by that. I knew it might

come, Corp. Go on."

"If it hadna been for the bairn," said Corp, "we would hae tholed wi'

her, however queer she was; but wi' the bairn I tell you it's no mous.

You'll hae to tak' her awa'."

"Whatever she has been to others," Tommy said, "she is always an angel

with the child. His own mother could not be fonder of him."

"That's it," Corp replied emphatically. "She's no the mother o' him,

but there's whiles when she thinks she is. We kept it frae you as long

as we could."

"As long as she is so good to him----" David began.

"But at thae times she's not," said Corp. "She begins to shiver most

terrible, as if she saw fearsome things in her mind, and syne we see

her looking at him like as if she wanted to do him a mischief. She

says he's her brat; she thinks he's hers, and that he hasna been well

come by."

Tommy's hands rose in agony, and then he covered his face with them.

"Go on, Corp," David said hoarsely; "we must have it all."

"Sometimes," Corp went on painfully, "she canna help being fond o'

him, though she thinks she shouldna hae had him. I've heard her

saying, 'My brat!' and syne birsing him closer to her, as though her

shame just made him mair to her. Women are so queer about thae things.

I've seen her sitting by his cradle, moaning to hersel', 'I did so

want to be good! It would be sweet to be good! and never stopping

rocking the cradle, and a' the time the tears were rolling down."

Tommy cried, "If there is any more to tell, Corp, be quick."

"There's what I come here to tell you. It was no langer syne than

jimply an hour. We thocht the bairn was playing at the gavle-end, and

that Grizel was up the stair. But they werena, and I gaed straight to

Double Dykes. She wasna there, but the bairn was, lying greetin' on

the floor. We found her in the Den, sitting by the burn-side, and she

said we should never see him again, for she had drowned him. We're

sweer, but you'll need to tak' her awa'."

"We shall take her away," David said, and when he and Tommy were left

together he asked: "Do you see what it means?"

"It means that the horrors of her early days have come back to her,

and that she is confusing her mother with herself."

David's hands were clenched. "That is not what I am thinking of. We

have to take her away; they have done far more than we had any right

to ask of them. Sandys, where are we to take her to?"

"Do even you grow tired of her?" Tommy cried.

David said between his teeth: "We hope there will soon be a child in

this house, also. God forgive me, but I cannot bring her back here."

"She cannot be in a house where there is a child!" said Tommy, with a

bitter laugh. "Gemmell, it is Grizel we are speaking of! Do you

remember what she was?"

"I remember."

"Well, where are we to send her?"

David turned his pained eyes full on Tommy.

"No!" Tommy cried vehemently.

"Sandys," said David, firmly, "that is what it has come to. They will

take good care of her." He sat down with a groan. "Have done with

heroics," he said savagely, when Tommy would have spoken. "I have been

prepared for this; there is no other way."

"I have been prepared for it, too," Tommy said, controlling himself;

"but there is another way: I can marry her, and I am going to do it."

"I don't know that I can countenance that," David said, after a pause.

"It seems an infernal shame."

"Don't trouble about me," replied Tommy, hoarsely; "I shall do it

willingly."

And then it was the doctor's turn to laugh. "You!" he said with a

terrible scorn as he looked Tommy up and down. "I was not thinking of

you. All my thoughts were of her. I was thinking how cruel to her if

some day she came to her right mind and found herself tied for life to

the man who had brought her to this pass."

Tommy winced and walked up and down.

"Desire to marry her gone?" asked David, savagely.

"No," Tommy said. He sat down. "You have the key to me, Gemmell," he

went on quietly. "I gave it to you. You know I am a man of sentiment

only; but you are without a scrap of it yourself, and so you will

never quite know what it is. It has its good points. We are a kindly

people. I was perhaps pluming myself on having made an heroic

proposal, and though you have made me see it just now as you see it,

as you see it I shall probably soon be putting on the same grand airs

again. Lately I discovered that the children who see me with Grizel

call me 'the Man with the Greetin' Eyes.' If I have greetin' eyes it

was real grief that gave them to me; but when I heard what I was

called it made me self-conscious, and I have tried to look still more

lugubrious ever since. It seems monstrous to you, but that, I believe,

is the kind of thing I shall always be doing. But it does not mean

that I feel no real remorse. They were greetin' eyes before I knew it,

and though I may pose grotesquely as a fine fellow for finding Grizel

a home where there is no child and can never be a child, I shall not

cease, night nor day, from tending her. It will be a grim business,

Gemmell, as you know, and if I am Sentimental Tommy through it all,

why grudge me my comic little strut?"

David said, "You can't take her to London."

"I shall take her to wherever she wants to go."

"There is one place only she wants to go to, and that is Double

Dykes."

"I am prepared to take her there."

"And your work?"

"It must take second place now. I must write; it is the only thing I

can do. If I could make a living at anything else I would give up

writing altogether."

"Why?"

"She would be pleased if she could understand, and writing is the joy

of my life--two reasons."

But the doctor smiled.

"You are right," said Tommy. "I see I was really thinking what a fine

picture of self-sacrifice I should make sitting in Double Dykes at a

loom!"

They talked of ways and means, and he had to admit that he had little

money. But the new book would bring in a good deal, David supposed.

"The manuscript is lost," Tommy replied, crushing down his agitation.

"Lost! When? Where?"

"I don't know. It was in the bag I left behind at St. Gian, and I

supposed it was still in it when the bag was forwarded to me here. I

did not look for more than a month. I took credit to myself for

neglecting my manuscript, and when at last I looked it was not there.

I telegraphed and wrote to the innkeeper at St. Gian, and he replied

that my things had been packed at his request in presence of my

friends there, the two ladies you know of. I wrote to them, and they

replied that this was so, and said they thought they remembered seeing

in the bottom of the bag some such parcel in brown paper as I

described. But it is not there now, and I have given up all hope of

ever seeing it again. No, I have no other copy. Every page was written

half a dozen times, but I kept the final copy only."

"It is scarcely a thing anyone would steal."

"No; I suppose they took it out of the bag at St. Gian, and forgot to

pack it again. It was probably flung away as of no account."

"Could it have been taken out on the way here?"

"The key was tied to the handle so that the custom officials might be

able to open the bag. Perhaps they are fonder of English manuscripts

than one would expect, or more careless of them."

"You can think of no other way in which it might have disappeared?"

"None," Tommy said; and then the doctor faced him squarely.

"Are you trying to screen Grizel?" he asked. "Is it true, what people

are saying?"

"What are they saying?"

"That she destroyed it. I heard that yesterday, and told them your

manuscript was in my house, as I thought it was. Was it she?"

"No, no. Gavinia must have started that story. I did look for the

package among Grizel's things."

"What made you think of that?"

"I had seen her looking into my bag one day. And she used to say I

loved my manuscripts too much ever to love her. But I am sure she did

not do it."

"Be truthful, Sandys. You know how she always loved the truth."

"Well, then, I suppose it was she."

After a pause the doctor said: "It must be about as bad as having a

limb lopped off."

"If only I had been offered that alternative!" Tommy replied.

"And yet," David mused, better pleased with him, "you have not cried

out."

"Have I not! I have rolled about in agony, and invoked the gods, and

cursed and whimpered; only I take care that no one shall see me."

"And that no one should know poor Grizel had done this thing. I admire

you for that, Sandys."

"But it has leaked out, you see," Tommy said; "and they will all be

admiring me for it at the wedding, and no doubt I shall be cocking my

greetin' eyes at them to note how much they are admiring."

But when the wedding-day came he was not doing that. While he and

Grizel stood up before Mr. Dishart, in the doctor's parlour, he was

thinking of her only. His eyes never left her, not even when he had to

reply "I do." His hand pressed hers all the time. He kept giving her

reassuring little nods and smiles, and it was thus that he helped

Grizel through.

Had Mr. Dishart understood what was in her mind he would not have

married them. To her it was no real marriage; she thought they were

tricking the minister, so that she should be able to go home. They had

rehearsed the ceremony together many times, and oh, she was eager to

make no mistake.

"If they were to find out!" she would say apprehensively, and then

perhaps giggle at the slyness of it all. Tommy had to make merry with

her, as if it was one of his boyish plays. If he was overcome with the

pain of it, she sobbed at once and wrung her hands.

She was married in gray silk. She had made the dress herself, as

beautifully as all her things were made. Tommy remembered how once,

long ago, she had told him, as a most exquisite secret, that she had

decided on gray silk.

Corp and Gavinia and Ailie and Aaron Latta were the only persons asked

to the wedding, and when it was over, they said they never saw anyone

stand up by a woman's side looking so anxious to be her man; and I am

sure that in this they did Tommy no more than justice.

It was a sad day to Elspeth. Could she be expected to smile while her

noble brother did this great deed of sacrifice? But she bore up

bravely, partly for his sake, partly for the sake of one unborn.

The ring was no plain hoop of gold; it was garnets all the way round.

She had seen it on Elspeth's finger, and craved it so greedily that it

became her wedding-ring. And from the moment she had it she ceased to

dislike Elspeth, and pitied her very much, as if she thought happiness

went with the ring. "Poor Alice!" she said when she saw Elspeth crying

at the wedding, and having started to go away with Tommy, she came

back to say again, "Poor, poor Alice!"

Corp flung an old shoe after them.

Tommy and Grizel · 第 15 / 19 章