THE CROWNED RADISH
Jacquemin Lampourde, after parting company with Mérindol, seemed in
great uncertainty as to which way he should go, and had not yet decided
when he reached the end of the Pont-Neuf. He was like the donkey
between two bundles of hay; or, if that comparison be not pleasing,
like a piece of iron between two magnets of equal power. On the one
side was lansquenet, with the fascinating excitement of rapidly winning
and losing the broad gold pieces that he loved; and on the other the
tavern, with its tempting array of bottles; for he was a drunkard as
well as a gambler, this same notorious Jacquemin Lampourde. He stood
stock still for a while, debating this knotty point with himself, quite
unable to come to a decision, and growing very much vexed at his own
hesitation, when suddenly a brilliant idea occurred to him, and,
plunging his hand into his well-filled pocket, he drew forth a gold
piece, which he tossed into the air, crying, “Head for the tavern, tail
for lansquenet.” The coin rang upon the pavement as it fell, and he
kneeled down to see what fate had decided for him; head was up. “Very
well,” said he, philosophically, as he picked up the piece of money,
carefully wiped off the mud, and put it back in his pocket, “I’ll go
and get drunk.” Then, with long strides, he made off to his favourite
tavern, which had the advantage of being in the immediate vicinity of
his own lodgings, so that with a few zigzags he was at home, after he
had filled himself with wine from the soles of his boots to the apple
in his throat. It was not an inviting-looking place, this same tavern,
with the odd device of an enormous radish, bearing a golden crown—now
rather tarnished—which had served as its sign for many generations of
wine-drinkers. The heavy wooden shutters were all closed when Lampourde
reached it; but by the bright light streaming through their crevices,
and the sounds of song and revelry that reached his ear, he knew that
there must be a numerous company within. Knocking on the door in a
peculiar way with the handle of his sword, he made himself known as an
_habitué_ of the house, and was promptly admitted—the door being
carefully made fast again the moment he had entered. The large, low
room into which he made his way was filled with the smoke from many
pipes, and redolent with the fumes of wine. A cheerful wood fire was
blazing on the hearth, lighting up the array of bottles in the bar,
which was placed near it, where the master of the establishment sat
enthroned, keeping a watchful eye on the noisy crowd gathered round the
many small tables with which the room abounded, drinking, smoking,
playing at various games, and singing ribald songs. Lampourde paid no
attention to the uproarious throng, further than to look about and make
sure that none of his own particular friends and associates were among
them. He found an unoccupied table, to which a servant quickly brought
a bottle of fine old Canary wine, very choice and rare, which was
reserved for a few privileged and appreciative customers, who could
afford to indulge in such luxuries. Although he was quite by himself,
two glasses were placed before him, as his dislike of drinking alone
was well known, and at any moment a comrade might come in and join him.
Meantime he slowly filled his glass, raised it to the level of his
eyes, and looked long and lovingly through the beautiful, clear topaz
of the generous wine. Having thus satisfied the sense of sight, he
passed to that of smell, and held the glass under his nostrils, where
he could enjoy the delicious aroma arising from it, giving the wine a
rotary motion as he did so, in a very artistic manner; then, putting
the glass to his lips, he let a few drops trickle slowly down over his
tongue to his palate, lengthening out the enjoyment as much as
possible, and approving smack of relish as he at last swallowed the
smooth nectar. Thus Maître Jacquemin Lampourde managed to gratify three
of the five senses man is blessed with by means of a single glass of
wine. He pretended that the other two might also have a share of the
enjoyment—that of touch by the highly polished surface and swelling
curves of the wine-glass, and that of hearing by the merry ringing when
two glasses are clinked together, or by the musical sounds to be
brought forth from a glass by drawing the moistened finger round and
round the edge of it. But these are fantastic and paradoxical ideas,
which only serve to show the vicious refinement of this fastidious
ruffian. He had been but a few minutes alone when an odd-looking,
shabbily dressed individual came in, who rejoiced in a remarkably pale
face, which looked as if it had been chalked, and a nose as red and
fiery as a live coal; the idea of how many casks of wine and bottles of
brandy must have been imbibed to bring it to such an intensity of
erubescence would be enough to terrify the ordinary drinker. This
singular countenance was like a cheese, with a bright, red cherry stuck
in the middle of it; and to finish the portrait it would only be
necessary to add two apple seeds, placed a little obliquely, for the
eyes, and a wide gash for a mouth. Such was Malartic—the intimate
friend, the Pylades, the Euryalus, the “fidus Achates” of Jacquemin
Lampourde; who certainly was not handsome—but his mental and moral
qualities made up for his little physical disadvantages. Next to
Lampourde—for whom he professed the most exalted admiration and
respect—he was accounted the most skillful swordsman in Paris; he was
always lucky at cards, and could drink to any extent without becoming
intoxicated. For the rest, he was a man of great delicacy and honour,
in his way—ready to run any risk to help or support a friend, and
capable of enduring any amount of torture rather than betray his
comrades—so that he enjoyed the universal and unbounded esteem of his
circle.
Malartic went straight to Lampourde’s table, sat down opposite to him,
silently seized the glass the other had promptly filled, and drained it
at a single draught; evidently his method differed from his friend’s,
but that it was equally efficacious his nose bore indisputable witness.
The two men drank steadily and in silence until they had emptied their
third bottle, and then called for pipes. When they had puffed away for
a while, and enveloped themselves in a dense cloud of smoke, they fell
into conversation, deploring the bad times since the king, his court
and followers, had all gone to Saint Germain, and comparing notes as to
their own individual doings since their last meeting. Thus far they had
paid no attention whatever to the company round them, but now such a
loud discussion arose over the conditions of a bet between two men
about some feat that one of them declared he could perform and the
other pronounced impossible, that they both looked round to see what it
was all about. A man of lithe, vigorous frame, with a complexion dark
as a Moor’s, jet-black hair and flashing eyes, was drawing out of his
red girdle a large, dangerous looking knife, which, when opened, was
nearly as long as a sword, and called in Valencia, where it was made, a
_navaja_. He carefully examined and tested the edge and point of this
formidable weapon, with which he seemed satisfied, said to the man he
had been disputing with, “I am ready!” then turned and called,
“Chiquita! Chiquita!”
At the sound of her name a little girl, who had been sleeping, rolled
up in a cloak, on the floor in a dark corner, rose and came towards
Agostino—for it was he of course—and, fixing her large dark eyes upon
his face earnestly, said, “Master, what do you want me to do? I am
ready to obey you here as everywhere else, because you are so brave,
and have so many red marks on your _navaja_.”
Chiquita said this rapidly, in a patois which was as unintelligible to
the Frenchmen around her as German, Hebrew or Chinese. Agostino took
her by the hand and placed her with her back against the door, telling
her to keep perfectly still, and the child, accustomed to that sort of
thing, showed neither alarm nor surprise, but stood quietly, looking
straight before her with perfect serenity, while Agostino, at the other
end of the room, standing with one foot advanced, balanced the dread
_navaja_ in his hand. Suddenly with a quick jerking movement he sent it
flying through the air, and it struck into the wooden door, just over
Chiquita’s head. As it darted by, like a flash of lightning, the
spectators had involuntarily closed their eyes for a second, but the
fragile child’s long dark eyelashes did not even quiver. The brigand’s
wonderful skill elicited a loud burst of admiration and applause from
an audience not easily surprised or pleased, in which even the man who
had lost his wager joined enthusiastically. Agostino went and drew out
the knife, which was still vibrating, and returning to his place this
time sent it in between Chiquita’s arm—which was hanging down by her
side—and her body; if it had deviated a hair’s breadth it must have
wounded her. At this everybody cried “Enough!” but Agostino insisted
upon aiming at the other side as well, so as to prove to them that
there was no chance about it; that it was purely a matter of skill.
Again the terrible _navaja_ flew through the air, and went straight to
the mark, and Chiquita, very much delighted at the applause that
followed, looked about her proudly, glorying in Agostino’s triumph. She
still wore Isabelle’s pearl beads round her slender brown neck; in
other respects was much better dressed than when we first saw her, and
even had shoes on her tiny feet; they seemed to worry and annoy her
very much, it is true, but she found them a necessary nuisance on the
cold Paris pavements, and so had to submit to wearing them with as good
a grace as she could muster. When Agostino gave her leave to quit her
position she quietly returned to her corner, rolled herself up anew in
the large cloak, and fell sound asleep again, while he, after pocketing
the five _pistoles_ he had won, sat down to finish his measure of cheap
wine; which he did very slowly, intending to remain where he was as
long as possible; he had no lodging place yet in Paris, having arrived
that very evening, and this warm room was far more comfortable than a
refuge in some convent porch, or under the arch of a bridge perhaps,
where he had feared that he and Chiquita might have to lie shivering
all night long.
Quiet being restored, comparatively speaking, Lampourde and Malartic
resumed their interrupted conversation, and after a few remarks upon
the strange performance they had just witnessed—in which Lampourde
especially praised Agostino’s marvellous skill, and Malartic warmly
commended Chiquita’s wonderful courage and _sang-froid_—the former
confided to his friend that he had a piece of work in prospect, in
which he would need some assistance, and desired to have his opinion as
to which of their comrades would be best suited for his purpose. He
told him that, in the first place, he was commissioned to despatch a
certain Captain Fracasse, an actor, who had dared to interfere with the
love affair of a very great lord. In this, of course, he would not
require any aid; but he had also to make arrangements for the abduction
of the lady, a very beautiful young actress, who was beloved by both
the nobleman and the comedian, and who would be zealously defended by
the members of the dramatic company to which she belonged; so that he
should be obliged to resort to some stratagem, and would probably need
the help of several hands to carry it out—adding that they were sure of
being well paid, for the young lord was as generous and open handed as
he was wealthy and determined. Thereupon they fell to discussing the
respective merits of their numerous friends and acquaintances—gentlemen
of the same stamp as themselves—and having decided upon four, and
determined to keep an eye upon Agostino, who seemed a clever rascal and
might be of use, they called for another bottle of wine. When that was
finished Jacquemin Lampourde was indisputably drunk, and having loyally
kept his word, retired, somewhat unsteadily, to his own quarters in a
high state of maudlin satisfaction, accompanied by his friend Malartic,
whom he had invited to spend the night with him. By this time—it was
nearly four o’clock in the morning—the Crowned Radish was almost
deserted, and the master of the establishment, seeing that there was no
prospect of further custom, told his servants to rouse up and turn out
all the sleepers—Agostino and Chiquita among the rest—and his orders
were promptly executed.