STRANGE TIDINGS.
When the footsteps of her visitors died away in the ante-room, she
became conscious of the package which Norman Lovel had given her, and
going up to a window sunk deep in the wall, and dim with dust, she broke
the seal and began to read its contents. All at once her face lighted
up. She read one passage over and over again, clasped her hand in a
delirium of sudden gladness, and cried out in her prison:
"Thank God! oh, thank my God that I have lived to know this! But to
learn it now, with only a few hours of life. Father of heaven, grant me
a little time--just a little time, in which I may taste all the fulness
of this great blessing!"
She walked the room up and down, seized with a wild desire to go free.
Her bonds for the first time seemed insupportable. The sound of a
turnkey near her door drew her that way. She beat against the massive
oak with her hand, calling aloud. A heavy key grated in its lock, and
the man came in.
"Go," she said, handing him a piece of money; "send a messenger after
the minister, Samuel Parris, who has left me but now. Say that I would
speak with him at once. Lose no time, I beseech you."
The man closed the door, turned the key in its lock, and Barbara was
alone again--alone, with what different thoughts to those that had
occupied her when Lovel came in! Thrilling excitement, eager hope, a
wild commotion of feelings forbade all connected thoughts. She walked
the floor--she clasped and unclasped her hands--words of tender
endearment dropped from her lips. Mine mine! mine! The baby that they
told me was dead--so beautiful! so generous! Ah, after this wonderful
blessing I should be ready to die. But now the fear of death is
terrible. All the life within me rises up to reject it. I would live to
a good old age. He, my son--my own dear son--should watch the gray hair
stealing over my head, and love me all the better for them. It must be
pleasant to grow old in the sight of one's child. This is why he loved
me so. I could not understand it--nor could he. How I longed to kiss him
as he knelt before me not an hour since! To-morrow I shall see him
again. To-morrow--oh, my God! what is to happen then!
She paused in her walk, and stood in the middle of the floor, struck
dumb and white by a terrible thought. How fate mocked her! This
revelation, which had thrilled her whole being with new-born joy, was
after all only a temptation to entice her from the sacrifice she had
resolved to make. On all sides events seemed forcing her on to death.
Now, when life might have been so sweet, she must turn resolutely away
from it, and meet her awful fate. Pale still, dumb with mighty anguish,
Barbara fell upon her knees and prayed. All things conspired against
her. Death, that she had considered with such resignation an hour
before, was now surrounded with the bitterness of revolt. Her heart
yearned for the life which it still rejected.
She knelt and prayed, wringing her hands and crying on God for help--not
to escape her doom, but to bear it now that existence had been made so
precious. She arose firm and resolute, but not calm--that she could
never be again. The struggle in her soul was terrible; but the spirit of
self-abnegation grew strong within her, and would prevail.
When Samuel Parris entered the dungeon again, he scarcely recognized the
prisoner; her cheeks were scarlet, her eyes like stars. A hundred lives
seemed to have been crowded into that one hour.
Barbara went up to the minister, and took his hand with an eager grasp.
"A little while ago," she said, "you asked me to confess, and I refused.
I have now recalled you for that very purpose. I had intended to die and
make no sign, but that resolve is broken up. Sit down, Samuel Parris,
and listen to me."
"I listen," said the old man.
"It is not of this idle charge of witchcraft that I wish to speak," she
said, hurriedly; "but of myself, my life, my history. Can you listen
with patience?"
"With patience, and in all charity," was the solemn reply.
"But first I must have a promise--your solemn promise before God--that
what I say to you shall not be revealed to any living soul till after my
death. Samuel Parris, will you give me this promise? Remember it is a
dying woman who asks it."
"Even if it prove a confession of guilt that you wish to make before me
as a minister of the Most High, there would be no wrong in the promise;
therefore I will give it."
"But there is no confession of sin to wound your ear or trouble your
conscience; that which I have to say need not draw a blush to my own
face, or a frown from yours. Have I your promise?"
"I have promised already," said the minister.
"Solemnly and before the God of heaven?"
"Every promise that a just man makes is registered in heaven. Lady, thou
canst trust me. Never yet have I broken faith with man or woman."
"I can trust you--and I will. Samuel Parris, look at me."
Barbara unwound the lace scarf that was usually twisted about her head
like a turban, and the waves of magnificent hair thus fully exposed fell
loose upon her shoulders. Throwing all these golden tresses back from
her forehead with a sweep of her two hands, she turned her face full
upon the minister.
"Samuel Parris, do you know me?" The old man looked at her in dumb
bewilderment. The scarlet burning in her cheeks, the splendor of her
eyes, made his heart leap toward a full recognition. He could not
answer, but stood gazing upon her with a strange, doubtful look. She
dropped her hands; the hair fell in curling masses down her back. Her
face drooped forward. She was disappointed that he did not recognize her
at once.
The thin features of Samuel Parris kindled up, first with doubt, then
with fear, and again with positive conviction.
Her attitude and the disposal of her hair revealed her to him.
Samuel Parris stood dumb and pale, gazing at her resolutely.
Neither of the two spoke. They looked in each other's eyes afraid: at
last the minister found voice.
"Alive!" he said, "alive! and here? Oh! my God, my God, what has thy
servant done that he should see this day?"
"You know me then, Samuel Parris? You know me then?"
"Alas! alas!" The old man wrung his hands in wild excitement.
"And now you understand my presence here, my anguish and my silence?"
"Oh! God forgive us!--God forgive us!" moaned the old man.
"You thought me dead, Samuel Parris: would that it had been so, but the
unhappy cannot die when they wish."
"And thou art condemned to death! we, the wrongers and the sinful, have
done this. But it is not too late, it shall not be too late."
The old man started toward the door, but Barbara laid her hand on his
arm. "I have your promise, Samuel Parris."
The old man fell back against the wall as if he had been shot.
"Henceforth my fate rests in my own hands," said the lady, with gentle
firmness. "If I revealed myself to you it was not to save this poor
life, but because in no other way can justice be done to the living."
"But it must not be," cried the minister, wringing his hands. "Woman,
woman, why did you not confide in me from the first?"
"And thus ruin him?"
"Oh, mercy! mercy! how hard it is to act rightly!" cried the old man.
"Sit down by me here on this bench," said Barbara, kindly. "I have no
better seat to offer you. Sit down, old friend, and be calm as I am."
The old man obeyed her, and, lifting his haggard eyes to her face, gazed
upon her with the helplessness of a child.
She had become almost calm: a gracious dew overspread her forehead and
the light of a holy resolve shone in her eyes.
"I must tell you every thing," she said, "for after I am gone you will
take my duties up and bear them forward for my sake."
"Speak on: I listen," answered the old man in a broken-hearted voice.