Immediately prescribe some character and some form to yourself, which
you shall observe both when you are alone and when you meet with men.
And let silence be the general rule, or let only what is necessary be
said, and in few words. And rarely, and when the occasion calls, we
shall say something; but about none of the common subjects, not about
gladiators, nor horse-races, nor about athletes, nor about eating or
drinking, which are the usual subjects; and especially not about men,
as blaming them or praising them, or comparing them. If then you are
able, bring over by your conversation, the conversation of your
associates, to that which is proper; but if you should happen to be
confined to the company of strangers, be silent.
Let not your laughter be much, nor on many occasions, nor excessive.
Refuse altogether to take an oath, if it is possible; if it is not,
refuse as far as you are able.
Avoid banquets which are given by strangers and by ignorant persons.
But if ever there is occasion to join in them, let your attention be
carefully fixed, that you slip not into the manners of the vulgar (the
uninstructed). For you must know, that if your companion be impure, he
also who keeps company with him must become impure, though he should
happen to be pure.
Take (apply) the things which relate to the body as far as the bare
use, as food, drink, clothing, house, and slaves; but exclude
everything which is for show or luxury.
As to pleasure with women, abstain as far as you can before marriage;
but if you do indulge in it, do it in the way which is conformable to
custom. Do not however be disagreeable to those who indulge in these
pleasures, or reprove them; and do not often boast that you do not
indulge in them yourself.
If a man has reported to you, that a certain person speaks ill of you,
do not make any defence (answer) to what has been told you; but reply,
The man did not know the rest of my faults, for he would not have
mentioned these only.
It is not necessary to go to the theatres often: but if there is ever a
proper occasion for going, do not show yourself as being a partisan of
any man except yourself, that is, desire only that to be done which is
done, and for him only to gain the prize who gains the prize; for in
this way you will meet with no hindrance. But abstain entirely from
shouts and laughter at any (thing or person), or violent emotions. And
when you are come away, do not talk much about what has passed on the
stage, except about that which may lead to your own improvement. For it
is plain, if you do talk much, that you admired the spectacle (more
than you ought).
Do not go to the hearing of certain persons’ recitations, nor visit
them readily. But if you do attend, observe gravity and sedateness, and
also avoid making yourself disagreeable.
When you are going to meet with any person, and particularly one of
those who are considered to be in a superior condition, place before
yourself what Socrates or Zeno would have done in such circumstances,
and you will have no difficulty in making a proper use of the occasion.
When you are going to any of those who are in great power, place before
yourself that you will not find the man at home, that you will be
excluded, that the door will not be opened to you, that the man will
not care about you. And if with all this it is your duty to visit him,
bear what happens, and never say to yourself that it was not worth the
trouble. For this is silly, and marks the character of a man who is
offended by externals.
In company take care not to speak much and excessively about your own
acts or dangers; for as it is pleasant to you to make mention of your
own dangers, it is not so pleasant to others to hear what has happened
to you. Take care also not to provoke laughter; for this is a slippery
way towards vulgar habits, and is also adapted to diminish the respect
of your neighbors. It is a dangerous habit also to approach obscene
talk. When then, anything of this kind happens, if there is a good
opportunity, rebuke the man who has proceeded to this talk; but if
there is not an opportunity, by your silence at least, and blushing and
expression of dissatisfaction by your countenance, show plainly that
you are displeased at such talk.