Transcriber's Notes:
1. Page scan source:
http://archive.org/details/betrayaljohnfor00farjgoog
(New York Public Library)
THE
BETRAYAL OF JOHN FORDHAM
BY
B. L. FARJEON
AUTHOR OF
"Aaron the Jew," "A Fair Jewess," "The Last
Tenant," "The Peril of Richard Pardon,"
Etc., Etc.
* * *
R. F. FENNO AND COMPANY
112 FIFTH AVENUE
NEW YORK
COPYRIGHT, 1896, BY
B. L. FARJEON.
_Betrayal of John Fordham_.
THE
BETRAYAL OF JOHN FORDHAM.
* * *
CHAPTER I.
JOHN FORDHAM'S CONFESSION.
My name is John Fordham, and I am thirty-four years of age. So far as
I can judge I am at present of sound mind, though sadly distraught,
and my memory is fairly clear, except as to the occurrences of a
certain terrible night in December two years ago, which are obscured
by a black cloud which I have striven in vain to pierce. These
occurrences, and the base use to which they have been turned by an
enemy who has made my life a torture, have brought me to a pass which
will cause me presently to stand before the world as a murderer. No
man accuses me. It is I who accuse myself of the horrible crime,
though I call God to witness that I know not how I came to do it, save
that it must have been done in self-defense. But who will believe me
in the face of the damning evidence which I afterwards found in my
possession--and who will believe that when the fatal deed was done I
did not see the features of the man I killed, and did not know who he
was? My protestations will be regarded as weak inventions, and will be
received with incredulity--as probably I should receive them were
another man in my place, and I his judge. It is the guiltiest persons
who most loudly proclaim their innocence, and I shall be classed among
them.
Am I, then, weary of life that I deliberately place myself in deadly
peril, and invite the last dread sentence of the law to be passed upon
me? In one sense, yes. Not a day passes that my torturer does not
present himself to sting and threaten me and aggravate my sufferings.
My nights are sleepless; even when exhausted nature drives me into a
brief stupor my fevered brain is crowded with frightful images and
visions. So appalling are these fancies that there is a danger of my
being driven mad. Death is preferable.
And yet, but a few moments before I committed the crime, I was looking
forward hopefully to a life of peace and love with a dear and noble
woman who sacrificed her good name for me, and whom I promised to
marry when I was freed from a curse which had clung to me for years.
The night was cold, the snow was falling, but there was joy in my
heart, and I walked along singing. Great God! my heart throbs with
anguish as I think of the heaven which might been mine had not cruel
fate suddenly dashed the cup of happiness from my lips. But it is
useless to repine; I yield because it is forced upon me. One consoling
thought is mine. The dear woman I love with a love as true and sincere
as ever beat in the heart of man, will turn to me with pity, will
visit me in the prison to which I go of my own accord, and in the
solemn farewell we shall bid one another will extend her hands and
forgive me for the wrong I have done her and our child.
These last words cause me to waver in my purpose.
Our child! Hers--mine. I am the sweet little fellow's father. I saw
him yesterday with his mother, though neither he nor my dear Ellen
knew that I was near them, for I was careful they should not see my
face. How he has grown! Yesterday was his fourth 'birthday, and to-day
Ellen is wondering who left the toy horse and cart at her lodgings.
His sturdy little limbs, his lovely hair, his large brown eyes with
their wonderful lashes, the music of his voice! What bliss, what
torture I endured as I followed and listened to his prattle.
"Oh, mother!" he cried, dragging at her hand. "Look--look! Do look!"
His excitement was caused by a display of toys in a window, and they
stood together--Ellen and my boy--gazing at the treasures there
displayed. He liked this, he liked that, and wasn't this grand, and
wasn't that beautiful? and, oh! look here, mother, and here, and here!
He was especially fascinated by the horse and cart. Very tenderly did
Ellen coax his attention to a box of white lambs, which was to be
obtained for sixpence, and they went into the shop, where it Was
placed in his arms, for his little hands could not grasp it firmly,
and he wanted to carry it home himself. As he and his mother walked
away I observed him look longingly over his shoulder at the horse and
cart, and doubtless there was in his young mind a hope that one of
these fine days when he was a big, big man such a treasure might also
be in his possession, and that he would be able to ride off in it
straight to fairyland. I am sure Ellen would have given it to him
could she have afforded it, but she is obliged to be economical and
sparing with her pennies. She earns a trifle by needlework, and,
through a solicitor, she receives a pound a week from me, whom she
believes to be thousands of miles away. Upon this she lives in modest
comfort, saving every penny she can, and looking forward cheerfully to
the future. The future! Alas for her--for Reggie--for me!
Reggie's father hanged for murder! But he need never know. He does not
bear my name, for Ellen would not have it so. "Not till the laws of
God and man sanction it," she said, and I let her have her way. Spirit
of truth and justice! Show me the path wherein my duty lies.
More than one path is open to me. I could disappear at sea beneath the
waters, and my enemy would never discover how and by what means I had
severed the cord of life. He would hunt for me, and gnash his teeth at
the escape of his prey. Some satisfaction in that. Oh, miserable fool,
to express such a sentiment! But let it stand. I have no desire to
conceal my weaknesses. Being gone, Ellen would still receive her pound
a week. This is secured to her, and it is this my enemy would snatch
from her. "You have money left," he cried. "I will have my share of
it, or I will denounce you." He shall not succeed. He shall not rob
Ellen, nor shall he denounce me. No man except myself shall bring me
to the bar of justice.
I could kill him, and the world would be rid of a monster. I am
strong; he is weak. I have held him with one hand, so that he could
not move a step from the spot upon which he stood. Dead, he could do
no more mischief. Wretch that I am! Add murder to murder? No. I will
not burden my soul with conscious guilt.
I will do what I resolved to do, and this confession, when it is
completed, shall be sent to Ellen. Condemn me, world. Ellen, in my
last hours I look to you for one blessed ray of light. There was a
dread crisis in my life when you were my guardian angel, and saved me
from destruction. You will not fail me now. Receiving consolation at
your dear hands, from your pure heart, I shall lay down my load, and
with sobs of thankfulness shall bid the world farewell. In heaven,
where the truth is known, we shall meet again.