My joy was damped, however, and turned to sadness, when I thought upon
the annoyances which my family, especially my four sisters, (our parents
were dead) endured, owing to the numerous and often ill-natured reports
that were spread regarding me. Homely country people, reared in the
Catholic religion, young and inexperienced, they did not think the
motives were sufficient, which led me to throw up my office. Although
they placed unbounded confidence in me, it was doubtless somewhat
shaken, when they found themselves disappointed in the prospect they
had very properly indulged of future aid from me. They endeavoured, time
after time, to prevail on me to resume my office, in consideration
of the calumnies they had to bear. This has caused me hours of bitter
sorrow.