WEDDINGS._The Book of Good Manners; a Guide to Polite Usage for All Social Functions

AISLE PROCESSION. See Weddings-Procession

Up the Aisle.

ANNIVERSARIES. See Anniversaries-Wedding.

ANNOUNCEMENTS. Announcement cards are sent

the day after the wedding, and need not be

acknowledged. They should be prepared

beforehand and ready to be mailed. The

expense is borne by the family of the bride.

At a home or a private wedding, announcement

cards can be sent to friends out of town.

AT HOME. See Home Weddings.

BEST MAN. See Best Man.

BEST WISHES. Best wishes should be given to

the bride and congratulations to the groom.

BOUQUETS. The bouquet carried by the bride is

furnished by the groom, who may also provide

bouquets for the bridesmaids if he wishes.

BRIDE. See Bride.

BRIDESMAIDS. See Bridesmaids.

CAKE. See Wedding Cake.

CALLS. See Weddings-Invitations-Calls.

CARDS OF ADMISSION TO CHURCH. These cards

are used at all public weddings held in

churches, and when used no one should be

admitted to the church without one. They

are sent with the wedding invitations.

They are kept in stock by the stationer,

and are not expensive.

CARDS, VISITING, AFTER MARRIAGE. Mr. and

Mrs. cards are used by the wife only within

one year after the marriage, after which

separate cards are in order. These Mr. and

Mrs. cards are used in sending gifts,

congratulations, condolence, and at ceremonious

affairs, when both the husband and wife are

represented.

CARRIAGES. Carriages should be provided to

take the bride and her family to the church

and back to the house, and also the guests

from the church to the receptions.

The expense is borne by the family of the

bride, save for the carriage used by the

groom, which takes him and the best man to

the church, and later takes the married

couple to the house, and after the reception,

to the station.

CHOIR-BOYS. See CHOIR-BOYS AT WEDDINGS.

CONGRATULATIONS. Congratulations may be

sent with letter of acceptance or declination

of an invitation to a wedding to those

sending the invitations. And if acquaintance

with bride and groom warrant, a note of

congratulations may be sent to them also.

Guests in personal conversation with the

latter give best wishes to the bride and

congratulations to the groom.

CHURCH. See BEST MAN--CHURCH. BRIDE--CHURCH.

BRIDESMAIDS--CHURCH. GROOM--CHURCH. USHERS-CHURCH.

DANCES. It is not usual to have dances after the

wedding.

DEPARTURE OF MARRIED COUPLE. See WEDDINGS--MARRIED

COUPLE.

DRESS. See BEST MAN--DRESS. BRIDE--DRESS.

GROOM-DRESS. WEDDINGS-GUESTS-DRESS,

ETC.

EXPENSES. All the expenses are borne by the

bride's family, except the fees for the license,

clergyman, organist, and sexton. The wedding-ring,

the carriages for the groom, ushers,

best man, and the carriage which takes away

the married couple, are also paid for by the

groom.

He also furnishes souvenirs to the maid of

honor and bridesmaids, best man and ushers,

and all expenses of the wedding trip.

If the groom gives a farewell bachelor dinner,

he bears all expenses.

FAREWELL BACHELOR DINNERS. See Groom-

Farewell Dinner.

FAREWELL BRIDAL LUNCHEON. See Bride--

Farewell Luncheons.

FEES. The wedding fee, preferably gold or

clean bills in sealed envelope, is given by the

best man to the officiating clergyman.

Custom leaves the amount to the groom, who

should give at least five dollars or more, in

proportion to his income and social position.

The clergyman usually gives the fee to his

wife.

FLOWER GIRLS. See Flower Girls.

FLOWERS are in general use. The quantity and

quality of floral decorations must depend

upon the taste and the wealth of the parties

concerned.

BRIDE. The bride, if she desires, carries at the

wedding ceremony a bouquet given by the

groom. Flowers are sometimes dispensed

with, and a Prayer-Book used.

CHURCH. In addition to the palms in the chancel,

a string of flowers or white ribbons is stretched

across the middle aisle, to reserve this place

for the immediate family and specially invited guests.

USHERS. Boutonnieres, provided by the bride's

family, should be given to the sexton by the

florist on the wedding-day. They may be

made of lilies of the valley, white roses, or

the like.

Sometimes the ushers call at the house of

the bride to have her fix them in the lapel of

their coats.

GIFTS. The nearest members of each family

should arrange among themselves what gifts

to send, and thus avoid duplicates.

Expensive presents are sent only by most intimate

friends, and articles of utility by relatives or

near friends. All gifts should be sent within

two months of date of marriage, and should

have thereon the woman's maiden name,

initial cipher, or monogram, and should be

acknowledged by the bride at the earliest

moment, and not later than ten days after

her marriage.

It is not in good taste to make an ostentatious

display of the gifts, and if they are exhibited,

the cards of the donors should be removed,

and only intimate friends invited.

Those sending gifts should have the courtesy

of an invitation to the wedding breakfast

or reception.

If any gifts are sent to the groom, they

should bear his initial.

A wedding invitation does not necessarily

imply that a gift must be sent, as the sending

of a gift is optional.

GROOM. See Groom.

GUESTS-BREAKFASTS OR RECEPTIONS. The

invited guests leave the church for the bride's

residence, and there are introduced by the

ushers to the married couple and those standing

up with them. If the guests are unknown to

the ushers, they should give their names to

one of them, who offers his left arm to the woman,

while her escort follows and is introduced at the same time.

At the breakfast, guests are usually assigned places,

but, if not, may take any

seat. Only the specially invited guests await

the departure of the married couple, which

ends the reception or breakfast.

If boxes of wedding-cake are placed on a

table, each guest takes one on his departure.

GUESTS-CALLS. Invited guests should call at

least within ten days and leave their cards.

DRESS. Broadly speaking, at a morning or afternoon

wedding the guest wears afternoon dress,

and at an evening wedding evening dress.

From the latter rule there are no deviations

possible, but in the former there is

greater latitude. Thus it would be possible

for a man to wear a black cutaway coat at

an afternoon wedding.

MEN. If the wraps are not left in the carriage,

they are removed in the vestibule and are

carried on the arm into the pew. A man

follows the woman, who is escorted to the

pew by the usher. At the end of the ceremony

the guests should not leave until the

immediate family have passed out.

Guests who are not invited to the breakfast

or reception should not take offense, as

the number present on such occasions is

necessarily limited. These guests may seat

themselves or are seated by the ushers, but

not in the pews reserved for the family and

specially invited guests.

WOMEN. No one should be present at a wedding

in mourning, and it should be laid aside temporarily

even by the mother, who wears

purple velvet or silk. Women on entering

the church take the usher's left arm, and are

escorted to the pew, while their escort follows

behind.

If they are immediate members of the

family or are specially invited guests, they

should give their names to the usher that he

may seat them in the places reserved for

them.

HATS OF GROOM AND OF BEST MAN. To do

away with the possibility of the best man

having to take care of the hats of groom and

best man during the wedding ceremony, it

is a good plan for both groom and best man

to leave them in the vestry, and to have them

carried out to the front of the church, ready

for them at the end of the ceremony.

HOME See Home Weddings.

HOST. See Father of Bride.

HOSTESS. See Mother of Bride.

HOURS. Any hour from nine in the morning to

nine in the evening is appropriate.

The morning hours are usually selected for

quiet home affairs; twelve o'clock, or high

noon, is still considered as the fashionable

hour, while from three to six is the hour

most convenient for all concerned.

Evening weddings are not very convenient,

chiefly because it is not as easy to handle the

details as in the daytime.

INVITATIONS. The woman's parents, guardians,

or others give the wedding, send out the invitations,

and bear all the expense of engraving and sending

out the same. They are issued in the name of the

one giving the wedding, and should be sent to

near-by friends about twenty days in advance of

the wedding day and earlier to out-of-town friends.

With them are sent the invitation to the wedding

breakfast or reception, and also the card of

admission to the church.

The groom should supply a list of names

of such persons as he desires to have present,

designating his preference for those to be

present at the breakfast or reception.

In addressing wedding invitations, two

envelopes are used. The inner one, unsealed,

bears the name only of the person addressed,

and is enclosed in another envelope, sealed,

bearing the address of the person invited.

Parents should, of course, order these

invitations of a fashionable dealer in stationery,

that good taste may be observed.

If the invitation contains an invitation to

the breakfast or reception, it should be accepted

or declined at once, and the answer

sent to those issuing the invitation. If the

invitation does not include a breakfast or

reception invitation, no acknowledgment is

necessary.

Should the wedding, however, be at home,

and the guests limited in number, an

acknowledgment should be sent.

If the invitations bear the letters R. S. V. P.

an acknowledgment is necessary.

BRIDESMAIDS. At a large church wedding several

invitations are usually given to the

bridesmaids for their own personal use.

CALLS. Very intimate friends can call personally.

Friends of the groom who have no

acquaintance with the bride's family should

send their cards to those inviting them.

Those who do not receive with wedding

invitations and announcements At Home

cards should not call, but consider themselves

dropped from the circle of acquaintances

of the married couple.

CARDS, LEAVING. If a person is invited to a

wedding at a church, but not to the reception

or breakfast, a card should be left or mailed

both to the bride's parents and to the

married couple.

Those present at the ceremony should

leave cards in person for those inviting them,

and if this is not possible, they can send

them by mail or messenger.

Those invited but not present should send

cards to those who invited them.

RECALLED. When for some good reason a

wedding has to be canceled or postponed,

the parents of the bride should, as soon as

possible, send printed notices, giving the

reasons, to all the invited guests.

JOURNEY. See Wedding Trip.

MAID OF HONOR. See Maid of Honor.

MARKING GIFTS. See Marking Wedding Gifts.

MARRIED COUPLE. Immediately after the wedding

breakfast or reception, the bride, with

her maid of honor, retires to change her

clothes for those suitable for travel. The

groom, with his best man, does likewise, and

waits for his wife at the foot of the stairs.

As she comes down the stairs she lets fall

her bridal bouquet among the bridesmaids,

who strive to secure it, as its possession is

deemed a lucky sign of being the next bride.

As the couple pass out of the front door

it is customary for the guests to throw after

them, for luck, rice, rose leaves, flowers, old

shoes, etc.

The form to be used in signing the hotel

Good taste and a desire for personal comfort

demand that their public acts and words

be not of such a character as to attract attention.