MEN. If a man is passed on the street without
any recognition by an acquaintance, he should
hesitate before accepting it as a direct cut, as
it may have been an oversight. If it is repeated,
he will know its full meaning.
To pass a person whom one knows and to
look straight at him without recognition is
the rudest way of dropping an acquaintance.
A man should avoid loud and boisterous
behavior.
If a man is compelled to force his way
through a crowded street, he should do so
courteously and with an apology to any one
inconvenienced by his act.
In walking three or four abreast, men
should be careful not to obstruct the thoroughfare,
but should quickly fall into single
file when necessary.
A man should greet his acquaintances on
the street quietly and courteously, and if on
a crowded street, should step out of the way
of persons and be brief in his remarks.
In all public places and conveyances a
man should offer his seat to a woman, though
he is not expected to do so when reserved
seats can be obtained--as, in a theatre, at
an opera, etc.
ACCIDENTS. In case of accident or danger a man
should protect the woman whom he escorts,
and take her to a place of safety. If her
clothing is torn, or she has met with some
accident of which she is unaware, a man may,
if he desires, politely raise his hat and call
her attention to the fact. If by accident a
man jostles a woman or steps upon her dress,
he should raise his hat, bow, and apologize,
whether he knows her or not.
BOWING. A man should not bow to a woman
until she has first recognized him, unless they
are old acquaintances.
A man should acknowledge the salutation
of a woman on the street, even if he does not
know her, as it saves her from embarrassment
at her mistake.
When bidding farewell to a woman after a
conversation on the street, a man should bow
and raise his hat.
If a man offers his seat to a woman in a car
or other conveyance, he should raise his hat
and bow, while her escort acknowledges the
courtesy by doing the same.
When a man opens a door for a woman
unknown to him, he should bow, while she
enters in advance of him.
A man should raise his hat and bow on all
occasions when offering any courtesy to a
woman, whether stranger or acquaintance.
A man may bow to an elderly man or person
of official position.
A man may offer his services to a woman
in crossing a crowded thoroughfare, and
should raise his hat and bow when she is
safely over, but should, make no comment
unless she does so first. He may also offer
her assistance in getting on or off a car, raising
his hat and bowing without remark.
If a man is accompanied by a woman and
another man extends a courtesy to her, he
should acknowledge it by bowing and giving
a polite "Thank you."
If when walking with a man a woman
meets a male acquaintance who bows, her
escort should raise his hat and bow, though
the two men are strangers to each other. If
the escort meets a man known to him, both
men should raise their hats and bow.
CANES AND UMBRELLAS. These should be carried
vertically, never horizontally, thereby
endangering other persons' eyes. Especially
is this important when entering cars or going
up long flights of steps-as, the stairs of the
elevated railroad.
CONVERSATION. A man who meets a woman,
and desires to engage in conversation with
her, should ask permission to accompany her.
If this is granted, he may proceed a short
distance, unless requested to go farther.
When meeting a woman on the street and
stopping to converse with her, a man should
raise his hat and replace it, as it is not now
in good form for a man to remain bareheaded
until requested by the woman to replace his
hat.
A man should avoid stopping a woman on
the street to engage her in conversation.
Only an intimate acquaintance with a woman
warrants a man joining her on the street. If
it is not agreeable, it may be very embarrassing
to her.
SMOKING. A man should never smoke while
walking with a woman on a street. Smoking
on fashionable thoroughfares is bad form.
A man should avoid expectorating upon a
sidewalk, and, if it must be done, should
walk to the curb and use the street for that
purpose.
WALKING. A man should not walk between two
women, but at the side nearest the curb.
When walking with a woman, a man
should walk near the curb, unless passing
an obstruction-as, a building in course of
construction-when she should have the outer
side to protect her from harm, or from coming
in contact with disagreeable things.
A man should offer his right arm to a
woman, but this is rarely necessary in the
daytime. It is essential, however, and
proper for him to do so after dark.
WOMEN. Conduct on the street should always
be reserved. It is bad form to loudly laugh
or to boldly glance at the passers-by, especially
men.
Women should never walk three or four
abreast.
Women may salute each other with a bow
and a handshake, but a kiss in public is no
longer in good form.
During a promenade, where friends pass
and repass, it is not necessary to exchange
greetings to each other.
A polite "Thank you," with a bow and a
smile, should be the reward of any man extending
a courtesy to a woman.
BOWING. It is the woman's privilege to determine
whom she will publicly recognize, and
therefore she should bow first to all men
whom she desires to favor. This formality
is, however, unnecessary with intimate
friends.
UMBRELLAS. These should be carried vertically,
and never horizontally under the arm.
WALKING. If a woman is walking with a man,
and another man stops to speak, it would be
in exceeding bad taste to ask him to join her.
A woman should take a man's right arm,
but only after dark, unless for some special
reason-as, weakness, etc.-it is necessary.
If a woman is walking alone, and a man of
her acquaintance stops and speaks, he may
ask permission to accompany her farther,
which, if agreeable, should be granted. She
may stop for a few moments' chat, and shake
hands if she wishes. If he stands before her
with uncovered head, she should promptly
ask him to replace his hat. She should not
block the thoroughfare, and should take the
initiative if he does not step to one side.
If agreeable, an invitation may be extended
to him to walk a short distance.
SUBSCRIPTION BALLS.
MEN. Shortly after receiving an invitation to a
subscription ball, a man should leave a card
for the patroness inviting him.
INVITATIONS. In addition to the regular invitations,
it is customary to guard against the
admission of persons not really invited by
the use of vouchers to be shown at the
hall door, or some similar precaution is
taken.
When a subscriber sends an invitation and
a voucher, he should send in the same
envelope one of his calling cards.
SUNDAY CALLS. Informal calls may be made on
Sunday after three o'clock by business and
professional men, provided there are no religious
or other scruples on the part of those receiving
the calls.
Men should wear afternoon dress.
SUPPERS GIVEN BY MEN--WOMEN. A young woman
may accept a man's invitation, provided she
has the consent of her mother or guardian,
and is assured that a chaperone will be present.
SUPPERS--MEN. Suppers are generally for men.
The hours are from ten to eleven. A man can
give such entertainments in bachelor apartments
or restaurant, and if women are invited,
chaperones should be present.
The invitations may be given personally,
written, or a visiting-card may be used,
giving hour and date. If the supper is given in
honor of a special guest, engraved cards or
note sheets are used.
Suppers may be of various kinds--such as
Fish, Game, Wine, Champagne.
SUPPERS AND THEATRE PARTIES.
MEN. A man should not invite a young woman
to a theatre party or supper without inviting
her mother or a chaperone to accompany
them. At large theatre parties or suppers,
when there are ten or more guests, several
chaperones should be invited. Any married
or elderly unmarried woman can act as
chaperone, care being taken that they are
well-known and agreeable to all, as much of the
pleasure of the evening depends upon them.
CARRIAGES. A conveyance holding a large party
can be sent to take invited guests to the
entertainment. The chaperone should be
called for first, and should be the last one to
be left at home upon returning. The chaperones
may use their own carriages and call
for guests if they desire. If the chaperones
call for the guests, the men can be met at the
place of amusement. Conveyances should
be provided for guests.
SUPPERS GIVEN BY BACHELORS.
See BACHELORS' SUPPERS.
TABLE ETIQUETTE. It is correct to take a little of all
that is offered, though one may not care for it.
Bend slightly over the plate when carrying
the food to the mouth, resuming upright
position afterward.
When drinking from a cup or glass, raise it
gracefully to the mouth and sip the contents.
Do not empty the vessel at one draught.
Guests should not amuse themselves by
handling knife or fork, crumbling bread, or
leaning their arms on the table. They should
sit back in their chairs and assume an easy
position.
A guest at a dinner should not pass a plate
or any article to another guest, or serve the
viands, unless asked to do so by the hostess.
Upon leaving the table, push the chair
back far enough to be out of the way of others.
ACCIDENTS. Accidents, or anything that may be
amiss at the table, should be unobserved by a
guest unless he is the cause of it. In that
event some pleasant remark as to his awkwardness
should be made and no more. The
waiter should attend to the matter at once.
If a fork or a spoon is dropped it should
not be picked up by the guest, but another
used, or ask the waiter to provide one.
CONVERSATION. Aim at bright and general conversation,
avoiding all personalities and any
subject that all cannot join in. This is
largely determined by the character of the
company. The guests should accommodate
themselves to their surroundings.
See also FINGER-BOWL, KNIFE AND FORK,
SECOND HELPING, SEEDS, SPOON, TOOTHPICKS,
WINES, and names of individual fruits and
foods--as, APPLES, BREAD, etc.
TALKING--THEATRES. Conversation during the progress
of the play or the opera should be
avoided and confined to the intermissions.
The theatregoer should avoid all noise, gestures,
or actions that would annoy others.
A man would be justified, when annoyed by
a person talking loud near him, in asking
him politely to speak lower.