BALL INVITATIONS. It is allowable for a new-
comer wishing to give a ball to borrow the
visiting list of some friend; but she should
enclose in each invitation a calling card of this
friend, so that the invited ones may know
that the friend is acting as a sponsor.
DUTY OF. No effort should be made to obtain
recognition of older residents.
Visits from neighbors should be returned
within a week. If from any reason a newcomer
is unable to call, a note stating the
reason should be sent.
If visit of neighbor's male relative is desired,
a woman may send him a written or
verbal invitation; but if visit is not desired,
no notice is taken of his card, in the event of
one having been left.
RESIDENTS' DUTY TO MEN. When calling, kinswoman
leaves cards of all the male members
of family who are in society. If these cards
left by kinswoman are not followed by an
invitation to call, it is presumed that the
acquaintance is not desired. Men can not
call upon women of the family of new resident,
unless invited to do so by either verbal
or written message.
RESIDENTS' DUTY TO WOMEN. The newcomer
receives the first call from the older resident,
which should be made within a reasonable
time. Women making the first call, leave
their own card and those of the male members
of the family.
It is unnecessary to be introduced in the
absence of letters of introduction. Visits
should be of short duration.
OLIVES are eaten with the fingers.
OPERA. See THEATRE.
ORANGES, served in divided sections, sweetened, and
the seeds removed, should be eaten with the
fork. If served whole, cut into suitable
portions. Remove seed and skin.
ORGANIST AT WEDDINGS. The organist is selected by
the bride, but the fee is paid by the groom.
OVERCOAT--MEN CALLING ON WOMEN. When making a
formal or brief call, the overcoat should be
left in the hall.
P. P. C. CARDS (VISITING). These letters--standing
for Pour prendre conge (To take leave)--are
written in the lower left-hand corner of the
visiting-card. These cards are used as a
formal farewell to such friends and
acquaintances whose friendship it is desired to
continue.
They may be left in person, or sent upon
departure from city or winter or summer
resort. They are rarely used in brief visits,
and should only be used at the close of a
season.
Care should be exercised in sending them,
as an oversight in so doing may cause the
loss of good friends.
PAGES AT WEDDINGS. At the wedding, if pages are
present, they are usually dressed in satin
court costumes, and carry the bride's train.
PALL-BEARERS. It is not good taste to ask relatives to
be pall-bearers. The usual number is six to
eight elderly men for elderly person, and of
young men for a young man. Six young
women in white would be a suitable number
to act as pall-bearers for a young woman.
Pall-bearers should be asked either by note
or by a representative of the head of the
family of the deceased.
The pall-bearers assemble at the house at
the appointed hour, and there take the
carriages reserved for them. They disperse
after the church service.
Except in the case of young women, carriages
are not sent to bring pall-bearers to
the house.
CALLS. After accepting an invitation to act as a
pall-bearer, a man should call at the house of
the bereaved and leave his card.
A few days after the funeral he should call
again and leave his card. If he wishes, he
may simply ask at the door after the women
of the family.
DRESS. The pall-bearers wear black frock coat,
trousers, and waistcoat, a black silk hat with
a mourning band, black shoes, and black kid
gloves. The linen should be white
FLOWERS. Unless there has been a request not
to send flowers, a pall-bearer may do so after
his first call.
If he wishes, a few days after the funeral
he may send flowers to the women of the
family with his card, on which should be
written: With the compliments of -----.
INVITATIONS. The invitation should be promptly
accepted or declined, and if accepted only
illness or unavoidable absence from the city
would excuse a man from attending.
PAPER WEDDING. The first wedding anniversary is
called the paper wedding, and is not usually
celebrated. If, however, it is celebrated,
the invitations may bear the words: No
presents received. Congratulations should be
extended in accepting or declining the
invitations. Any article of paper would be an
appropriate gift. An entertainment should
follow.
PARTIES. These are less formal than balls.
They generally begin at nine or nine-thirty,
with dancing at ten-thirty or eleven. The
supper precedes the dancing. Those who do
not take part in the dancing may leave
before it begins.
INVITATIONS. These are engraved, giving hour
for beginning in lower left-hand corner, and
should be sent two weeks in advance. One
envelope only need be used. They should
be answered promptly.
PATRONESSES. It is customary for the management
of any institution giving a public ball to
formally invite six, eight, or more married
women to act as patronesses, and for their
names to appear on the invitations. If
badges are worn, each patroness is sent one
or given one at the ball-room.
The patronesses, after being welcomed at
the ball by the management committees, take
their places, ready to receive the guests.
The Committee of Arrangements should
look after the patronesses, introduce
distinguished guests to them, escort them to
supper and finally to their carriages.
See also COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS--
PATRONESSES. DANCES.
PEACHES should be quartered and the quarters peeled,
then taken up by the fingers and eaten.
PEAS are eaten with a fork.
PLUMS AND GRAPES should be eaten one by one, and
the pits allowed to fall noiselessly into the
half-closed hand and then transferred to the
plate.
POSTAL CARDS. It is wise to restrict the use of
postals to impersonal communications; but if
they must be used, the message should be
brief with an apology for its use. It is a
good plan in addition to omit the usual My
dear, and to sign with the initials only and
the full surname.
POSTPONING DINNERS See CANCELING DINNERS.
POSTPONING WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS--INVITATIONS
RECALLED.