and I am sure I have suffered enough about it already. My lord, Billy
Thompson and I were playing in the lane near Mrs. Careful's house when
we heard the window crash, and directly after she came running out
towards us. Upon this Billy ran away, and I ran too, thinking I might
bear the blame. But after running a little way I stumbled over
something that lay in the road, and before I could get up again she
overtook me, and caught me by the hair, and began lugging and cuffing
me. I told her it was not I that broke her window, but it did not
signify; so she dragged me to the light, lugging and scratching me all
the while, and then said she would inform against me. And that is all
I know of the matter."
"I find, good woman," said the Judge, "you were willing to revenge
yourself without waiting for the justice of this court."
"My lord, I must confess I was put into a passion, and did not
properly consider what I was doing."
"Well, where is Billy Thompson?"
"Here, my lord."
"You have heard what Henry Luckless says. Declare upon your honor
whether he has spoken the truth."
"My lord," said Billy, "I am sure neither he nor I had any concern in
breaking the window. We were standing together at the time, and I ran
on hearing the door open, for fear of being charged with it, and he
followed; but what became of him I did not stay to see."
"So you let your friend," the Judge remarked, "shift for himself, and
thought only of saving yourself. But did you see any other person
about the house or in the lane?"
"My lord, I thought I heard some one creeping along the other side of
the hedge a little before the window was broken, but I saw nobody."
"You hear, good woman, what is alleged in behalf of the person you
have accused. Have you any other evidence against him?"
"One might be sure," the widow replied, "they would deny it, and tell
lies for one another; but I hope I am not to be put off in that
manner."
"I must tell you, mistress, that you give too much liberty to your
tongue, and are as guilty of as much injustice as that of which you
complain. I should be sorry indeed if the young gentlemen of this
school deserved the general character of liars. You will find among
us, I hope, as just a sense of what is right and honorable as among
those who are older, and our worthy master would certainly not permit
us to try offences in this manner if he thought us capable of bearing
false witness in each other's favor."
"I ask your lordship's pardon; I did not mean to offend; but it is a
heavy loss for a poor woman, and though I did not catch the boy in the
act, he was the nearest when it was done."
"As that is no more than a suspicion, and he has the positive evidence
of his schoolfellow in his favor, it will be impossible to convict him
consistently with the rules of justice. Have you discovered any other
circumstance that may point out the offender?"
"My lord, next morning Jack found on the floor this top, which I
suppose the window was broke with."
"Hand it up. Here, gentlemen of the jury, please to examine it, and
see if you can discover anything of its owner."
"Here is 'P.R.' cut upon it."
"Yes," said another boy, "I am sure I remember Peter Riot having just
such a one."
"So do I," still another remarked.
"Master Riot, is this your top?"
"I don't know, my lord," said Riot; "perhaps it may be mine. I have
had a great many tops, and when I have done with them I throw them
away, and any body may pick them up that pleases. You see, it has lost
its peg."
"Very well, sir. Mrs. Careful, you may retire."
"And must I have no amends, my lord?"
"Have patience; leave everything to the court. We shall do you all the
justice in our power."
As soon as the widow was gone the Judge rose from his seat, and with
much solemnity thus addressed the assembly:
"Gentlemen, this business, I confess, gives me much dissatisfaction. A
poor woman has been insulted and injured in her property, apparently
without provocation, and although she has not been able to convict the
offender, it cannot be doubted that she, as well as the world in
general, will impute the crime to some of our society. Though I am in
my own mind convinced that in her passion she charged an innocent
person, yet the circumstance of the top is a strong suspicion--indeed,
almost a proof--that the perpetrator of this unmanly mischief was one
of our body.
"The owner of the top has justly observed that its having been his
property is no certain proof against him.
"Since, therefore, in the present defect of evidence the whole school
must remain burdened with both the discredit of this action and share
in the guilt of it, I think fit, in the first place, to decree that
restitution shall be made to the sufferer out of the public chest,
and, next, that a Court of Inquiry be instituted for the express
purpose of searching thoroughly into the affair, with the power to
examine all persons upon honor who are thought likely to be able to
throw light upon it. I hope, gentlemen, these measures meet with your
concurrence."
The whole court bowed to the Judge, and expressed their entire
satisfaction with his determination.
It was then ordered that the Public Treasurer should go to the Widow
Careful's house, and pay her a sum of one shilling, making at the same
time a handsome apology in the name of the school; and six persons
were taken by lot of the jury to compose the Court of Inquiry, which
was to sit in the evening.
The Court then adjourned.
On the meeting of the Court of Inquiry the first thing proposed by the
President was that the persons who usually played with Master Riot
should be sent for. Accordingly Tom Frisk and Bob Loiter were
summoned, when the President asked them upon their honor if they knew
the top to have been Riot's.
They said they did. They were then asked if they remembered when Riot
had it in his possession.
"He had it," said Frisk, "the day before yesterday, and split a top of
mine with it."
"Yes," said Loiter, "and then as he was making a stroke at mine the
peg flew out."
"What did he do with it?"
"He put it into his pocket, and said as it was a strong top he would
have it mended."
"Then he did not throw it away, or give it to any one?"
"Yes; a day or two before he went to the Widow Careful's shop for some
gingerbread; but as he already owed her sixpence, she would not let
him have any till he had paid his debts."
"How did he take the disappointment?"
"He said he would be revenged on her."
"Are you sure he used such words?"
"Yes. Loiter heard him as well as myself."
"I did, sir," said Loiter.
"Do either of you know any more of this affair?"
"No, sir," replied both boys together.
"You may go," said the President, adding "that these witnesses had
done a good deal in establishing proof against Riot; for it was pretty
certain that no one but himself could have been in possession of the
top at the time the crime was committed, and it also appeared that he
had declared a malicious intention against the woman, which it was
highly probable he would put into execution. As the court were
debating about the next step to be taken they were acquainted that
Jack, the widow's son, was waiting at the school-door for admission;
and a person being sent out for him, Riot was found threatening the
boy, and bidding him go home about his business. The boy, however, was
conveyed safely into the room, when he thus addressed himself to the
President:
"Sir, and please your worship," said Jack, "as I was looking about
this morning for sticks in the hedge over against our house, I found
this buckle. So I thought to myself, 'Sure this must belong to the
rascal that broke our window.' So I have brought it to see if any one
in the school would own it."
"On which side of the hedge did you find it?"
"On the other side from our house, in the close."
"Let us see it Gentlemen," said the President, "this is so smart a
buckle that I am sure I remember it at once, and I dare say you all
do."
"It is Riot's!" exclaimed all together.
"Has anybody observed Riot's shoes to-day?" the President asked.
"Yes; he has got them tied with strings," a boy replied.
"Very well, then, gentlemen, we have nothing more to do than to draw
up the evidence we have heard, and lay it before his lordship. Jack,
you may go home."
"Pray, sir, let somebody go with me, for I am afraid of Riot, who has
just been threatening me at the door."
"Master Bold will please to go along with the boy."
The minutes of the court were then drawn up, and the President took
them to the Judge's chamber. After the Judge had perused them, he
ordered an indictment to be drawn up against Peter Riot: "For that he
meanly and clandestinely and with malice aforethought had broken three
panes in the window of Widow Careful with a certain instrument called
a top, whereby he had committed an atrocious injury upon an innocent
person, and had brought a disgrace upon the society to which he
belonged."
At the same time he sent an officer to inform Master Riot that his
trial would come on the next morning.
Riot, who was with some of his gay companions, affected to treat the
matter with great indifference, and even to make a jest of it.
However, in the morning he thought it best to endeavor to make it up,
and accordingly, when the court was assembled, he sent one of his
friends with a shilling, saying that he would not trouble them with
further inquiries, but would pay the sum that had been issued out of
the public stock. On the receipt of this message the Judge rose with
much severity in his countenance, and observing that by such
contemptuous behavior towards the court the criminal had greatly added
to his offence, he ordered two officers with their staves immediately
to go and bring in Riot, and to use force if he should resist them.
The culprit, thinking it best to submit, was presently led in between
the two officers, when, being placed at the bar, the Judge then
addressed him: "I am sorry, sir, that any member of this society can
be so little sensible of the nature of a crime and so little
acquainted with the principles of a court of justice as you have shown
yourself to be by the proposal you took the improper liberty of
sending us. If you mean it as a confession of your guilt, you
certainly ought to have waited to receive from us the penalty we
thought proper to inflict, and not to have imagined that an offer of
the mere payment of damages would satisfy the claims of justice
against you. If you had only broken the window by accident, and on
your own accord offered restitution, nothing less than the full
damages could have been accepted; but you now stand charged with
having done this mischief meanly, secretly, and maliciously, and
thereby have added a great deal of criminal intention to the act. Can
you, then, think that a court like this, designed to watch over the
morals, as well as protect the property of our community, can so
slightly pass over such aggravated offences? You can claim no merit
from confessing the crime now that you know so much evidence will
appear against you. And if you choose still to plead not guilty, you
are at liberty to do it, and we will proceed immediately to the trial
without taking any advantage of the confession implied by your offer
of payment."
Riot stood silent for some time, and then begged to be allowed to
consult with his friends what was the best for him to do. This was
agreed to, and he was permitted to retire, though under guard of an
officer. After a short absence he returned with more humility in his
looks, and said that he pleaded guilty, and threw himself on the mercy
of the court. The Judge then made a speech of some length, for the
purpose of convincing the prisoner, as well as the bystanders, of the
enormity of his crime. He then pronounced the following sentence:
"You, Peter Riot, are hereby sentenced to pay to the public treasury
the sum of half a crown as a satisfaction for this mischief you have
done, and your attempt to conceal it.
"You are to repair to the house of Widow Careful, accompanied by such
witnesses as we shall appoint, and then, having first paid her the
sum you owe her, you shall ask her pardon for the insult you offered
her. You shall likewise to-morrow after school stand up in your place
and before all the scholars ask pardon for the disgrace you have been
the means of bringing upon the society, and in particular you shall
apologize to Master Luckless for the disagreeable circumstances you
were the means of bringing him into. Till after this is complied with
you shall not presume to come into the playground or join in any of
the diversions of the school, and all persons are hereby admonished
not to keep you company till this is done."
Riot was then dismissed to his room, and in the afternoon he was taken
to the widow, who was pleased to receive his submission graciously,
and at the same time to apologize for her own improper treatment of
Master Luckless, to whom she sent a present of a nice ball by way of
amends.
Thus ended this important business.
A PLOT OF GUNPOWDER:
AN OLD LADY SEIZED FOR A GUY
Ascribed to WILLIAM MARTIN ("PETER PARLEY")
Gunpowder! Yes, it is a dreadful thing, and many a little boy has lost
his eyesight by it. Next to playing with fire, I do not know anything
so bad as playing with gunpowder.
Every one knows of the fifth of November, the day set apart for
commemorating the deliverance of King James and his Parliament from
the horrible plot to blow them up with gunpowder, and how on that day
Guido Fawkes, who was to have put the plan in execution, has his
effigy paraded about.
Well, it was on the fifth of November, in the year 1789, when Peter
Parley was a boy, that the circumstances took place of which I am
going to give a relation. The boys of those days, I think, were more
fond of Guy Fawkes, and bonfires, and squibs, and crackers than they
are now.
I remember it was the first of November, early in the morning, that a
lad, who was on a visit to my father, and who was my second cousin,
got out of bed and said to me (for we both slept in one room):
"Peter," said he, "do you have a guy in this town? I had a famous one
last year, and such a bonfire as you never saw, for we burnt down a
haystack. I should like to have a guy this year; do let us make one."
I was only about twelve years old, and very fond of a bit of fun, and
so I said:
"That is a good idea. I was thinking of the same thing last night,
because the clerk gave out in the church that there would be prayers
on the fifth of November, on account of the Gunpowder Plot; and, as I
came out of the church porch I saw a very old woman sitting there. She
looked just like an old witch, and I said to myself, 'I should like to
seize her for a guy.'"
"Seize an old woman for a guy! Well, that would be the drollest thing
that ever happened," said he; "and I should like to go you halves.
Shall we go partners in it? We can easily get a chair and tie her down
in it, and get a dark lantern and some matches and all that."
"But she must be dressed like a man," said I; "there never was a
female Guy Fawkes. The people would laugh at us."
"So much the better," said he; "that is just what we want. I like
something original, out of the common way. Now, a female Guy Fawkes is
a thing that few persons ever saw, or even heard of."
"But shall we not be taken up," said I, "perhaps put in prison, and
get ourselves into a hobble?"
"Well, what if we do? But we shall not do that. I am sure it is all
right enough. But, however, to be quite certain, if you like we will
ask Ephraim Quidd. You know, his father is a lawyer, and he will tell
us in a minute. So when we go to school we will ask him, shall we?"
"With all my heart," said I. And so with that we began to dress
ourselves, and went downstairs to breakfast. I was so full of the
matter that I sat and thought of it all the time I was eating my food;
and at last my imagination painted the old woman sitting in a chair,
calling out, "I am no guy! I am no guy!" the mob laughing, and the
boys hurrahing so vividly that I burst into a fit of laughter myself.
"Why, Peter," said my father, "'what is the matter now?"
Instead of telling him I continued to laugh, till at last he grew very
angry with me, and ordered me from the breakfast-table. I then took my
hat and bag, and went off to school. Simon Sapskull--for that was my
cousin's name--soon followed me.
When he came up with me he said:
"I thought what you were laughing at. It will be good fun. Let us make
haste and see Quidd before he goes in. It will be good fun, won't
it?"
And here Master Simon jumped and capered about with delight.
When we came to the schoolyard there were several boys assembled and
Quidd among them. Simon immediately ran up to him.
"Quidd," said he, "I want to ask you a question. You know the law, do
you not? Your father is the town clerk, and you ought."
"I do know the law," said Quidd. "Have I not been bred to it? And is
not my father to be made Recorder next year?"
"Well, then, answer me this," said Simon. "Is there any law against
_seizing an old woman for a guy_?"
The next morning Sapskull and myself, with Thomas Hardy and half a
dozen other boys, met with a view to talk about the intended exploit.
We withdrew to the backyard of the schoolroom, and there, in a corner
where we thought we could not be overheard, we began to plot against
the liberty of Dame Clackett.
Hardy was one of the rarest boys for making fireworks I ever knew in
my life. He had bought a book called "Every Boy his own Squib-Maker,"
in which were directions for making squibs, crackers, rockets, Roman
candles, serpents, slow fire, blue lights, and other descriptions of
fireworks. This he nearly knew by heart. Sapskull said:
"Look in your book and see if there is not in it how to make a guy."
So Hardy looked all over the book, but to no purpose; there was no
description of a guy manufactory. It was of no consequence; we had a
guy in our head, and we only now wished to know how we should get hold
of the old lady, and what we should do on this joyful occasion.
Hardy said he had several pounds of gunpowder, and would sell us all
squibs and crackers. But these we did not so much want. What we wanted
was an old chair, an old jacket, hat, and other matters to dress up
the old lady when we could catch her. But how to get her into the
chair was the difficulty, and some proposed one thing and some
another. Sapskull said, "We must make her merry with some beer."
Hardy said, "We must tie her down." But I proposed to ask her to sit
for her picture as a guy, and then to carry her off. Master Quidd was,
however, more cunning than any of us, and said, "I know how to nab
her; I have a plan, and a capital one it is, too."
"What is it? what is it?" said all of us.
The fact was old Dame Clackett was a very staunch churchwoman, and
used always to go both on Wednesdays and Fridays, Rain or sunshine,
hot or cold, nothing could keep her away from her church, and we silly
boys laughed at her for it. Poor old creature! she felt more real
pleasure in this than we could imagine.
"I will tell you what we will do," said Quidd. "There is in our
outhouse an old wheeled chair which my mother used to ride about in
when she was so long ill, a year or two ago. Now, I know old Dame
Clackett is very lame just now, from having let fall her fender on her
foot. I will take this chair down, and offer to draw her to church in
it, and then, when we have once got her in the chair, we can do as we
like with her. Hurrah!"
"Won't that be fun?" continued Quidd. "Let us do it--let us do it.
There is no law against it; the thing was never thought of. It is just
like the law that was never made among the Romans that I read about in
my lessons yesterday: there was no law against a child killing his own
father. I tell you," said he, "if there were twenty old women to be
seized and burnt, nobody could be hurt for it. But you do not mean to
burn her, I suppose, do you?"
"Oh no," said we; "we only want to have some fun. We should like to
make a guy of her, that is all, and rare fun it will be."
"Let me join you," said one; "Let me join," said another, till at last
the whole school entered into the plot.
We all forgot what we should have remembered--namely, that, instead of
despising or ridiculing people who are old and helpless and poor, we
ought to treat them with kindness, respect, and consideration. We
forgot that we, if suffered to live long enough, should also become
old, and that it would be hard for us to bear the coldness and neglect
of the world, but much harder to endure the ridicule and ill-behavior
of wicked children. Ay, we were thoughtless lads, and so we suffered
for it, as you will afterwards hear.
* * * * *
The old lady whom I had seen sitting in the church porch, who was so
ugly, as I thought, and so withered and old, was a very poor widow.
Her husband had died in battle long ago, and she had from year to year
supported herself by her spinning wheel and the little relief she had
from the parish. She lived in a little hut on a piece of waste ground,
and kept a little poultry, and now and then a pig or two.
Among other animals, the old lady kept an enormous goat, or, rather,
he kept himself. It was one her husband had brought her from abroad,
of the Syrian breed. It was quite young when it came over, but at last
grew and grew so, as to become a very formidable animal, so strong and
fierce, that every dog was afraid of it, being, no doubt, terrified by
the sight of its large horns and undaunted aspect. The name of this
dread animal was Hannibal.
Poor old Goody Clackett--for that was her name--had little thoughts of
ever being "smugged," as it was termed, by our schoolfellows to make a
guy on the fifth of November, and sat quietly enough spinning her
wheel and drawing out her yarn. Sometimes the thrum of the old wheel
would send her soundly to sleep, and then she never dreamed of such a
thing as was to happen to her.
Every boy was delighted with this proposition, and it was arranged
that on the following evening I and my cousin Simon should assist in
the endeavor to get the chair from the outhouse to a convenient place,
while Hardy was to provide lantern, matches, cap, and feathers, with
red and black paint to disfigure the features of the poor old
creature.
"We will make her amends," said Quidd, "all the money we get shall be
hers."
"Oh yes; that is quite fair," said I.
When the evening came and it was quite dark, Simon and I went to the
back part of Quidd's father's house. After waiting some little time we
heard a knock. Presently Quidd opened the gates and came out.
"There, get it," said he. "Look about to see if anybody is coming, and
you can take it away."
We did so. The coast was clear, and out rolled the chair.
Simon and I took hold of it, one behind and one before at the
handle-stick. Away we went, as had been preconcerted between us in the
stable-yard of another schoolfellow of ours in the plot, who placed it
near the gate and covered it over with loose straw, so that no one
could see it.
The next evening, which was the fourth of November, we met again by
appointment at the dark hollow of the churchyard. This meeting was for
the purpose of determining about the way in which Dame Clackett should
be dressed in her triumphal entry to the Town Hall, the place where
the bonfires were usually made. Hardy had brought what was of
essential service--namely, an old coat which had formerly belonged to
his father when in the yeomanry cavalry, an old helmet, a
cartridge-box, and a pair of boots.
"We shall never get the boots on," said I.
Another boy brought an old lantern with the horn burnt out, a third a
bunch of matches; then there was a mask and a lath-sword and a drum,
with sticks and straw in abundance. They were all deposited in the
same place with the chair. The conspirators (for conspirators we were)
then made a promise to each other not to split, as they call it--that
is, not to betray each other, and to go through with our work like
_Britons;_ so we all shook hands and parted.
The next morning was a holiday, and we were up betimes. After a
consultation it was determined that I and Quidd should go to the old
dame and see how she was, and if she was determined to go to church,
and if there would be any difficulty to get her to accept of the
convenience of our vehicle; so off we set. In less than half-an-hour
we reached the old dame's cottage, and found her at that very moment
dressing her foot.
Quidd was the first who spoke.
"Good morning, Goody," said he. "What, is not your foot well yet?
Why, I hear you have not been to church lately. The curate was at
father's last night, and said if you were so lame that you could not
walk, you might have our easy four-wheeled chair. But I suppose you
won't go to church to-day--it is only the fifth of November?"