I passed half the night that followed in writing to my mother. It was a
very long epistle, but, in my fear lest, like so many others, it should
not ever reach her, it was less expansive and candid than I could have
wished. Sara's name did not occur throughout, and yet it was Sara's
image was before me as I wrote, and to connect my mother in interest for
Sara was my uppermost thought. Without touching on details that might
awaken pain, I told how I had been driven to attempt something for my
own support, and had not failed.
“I am still,” I wrote, “where I started, but in so far a different
position that I am now well looked on and trusted, and at this moment
about to set out on a mission of importance. If I should succeed in
doing what I am charged with, it will go far to secure my future, and
then, dearest mother, I will go over to fetch you, for I will no longer
live without you.”
I pictured the place I was living in, and its climate, as attractively
as I was able, and said, what I verily believed, that I hoped never to
leave it. Of my father I did not venture to speak; but I invited her, if
the course of our correspondence should prove assured, to tell me freely
all about her present condition, and where and how she was.
“You will see, dear mother,” said I, in conclusion, “that I write in all
the constraint of one who is not sure who may read him. Of the accident
by which the address I now give this letter reached me, I will tell when
I write again. Meanwhile, though I shall not be here to receive it at
once, write to me, to the care of Hodnig and Oppovich, and add, 'to be
forwarded.'”
I enclosed a little photograph of the town, as seen from the bay, and
though ill done and out of drawing, it still conveyed some notion of the
pretty spot with its mountain framework.
I had it in my head to write another letter, and, indeed, made about
a dozen attempts to begin it. It was to Pauline. Nothing but very
boyishness could have ever conceived such a project, but I thought--it
was very simple of me!--I thought I owed it to her, and to my
own loyalty, to declare that my heart had wandered from its first
allegiance, and fixed its devotion on another. I believed--I was young
enough to believe it--that I had won her affections, and I felt it
would be dishonorable in me to deceive her as to my own. I suppose I was
essaying a task that would have puzzled a more consummate tactician than
myself, for certainly nothing could be more palpable than my failures;
and though I tried, with all the ingenuity I possessed, to show that in
my altered fortunes I could no longer presume to retain any hold on her
affections, somehow it would creep out that my heart had opened to a
sentiment far deeper and more enthralling than that love which began in
a polka and ended at the railway.
I must own I am now grateful to my stupidity and ineptness, which saved
me from committing this great blunder, though at the time I mourned over
my incapacity, and bewailed the dulness that destroyed every attempt
I made to express myself gracefully. I abandoned the task at length in
despair, and set to work to pack up for my journey. I was to start at
daybreak for Agram, where some business would detain me a couple of
days. Thence I was to proceed to a small frontier town in Hungary,
called Ostovich, on the Drave, where we owned a forest of oak scrub, and
which I was empowered to sell, if an advantageous offer could be had.
If such should not be forthcoming, my instructions were to see what
water-power existed in the neighborhood to work saw-mills, and to report
fully on the price of labor, and the means of conveyance to the coast.
If I mention these details, even passingly, it is but to show the sort
of work that was intrusted to me, and how naturally my pride was touched
at feeling how great and important were the interests confided to my
judgment. In my own» esteem, at least, I was somebody. This sentiment,
felt in the freshness of youth, is never equalled by anything one
experiences of triumph in after life, for none of our later successes
come upon hearts joyous in the day-spring of existence, hopeful of all
things, and, above all, hearts that have not been jarred by envy and
made discordant by ungenerous rivalry.
There was an especial charm, too, in the thought that my life was no
every-day common-place existence, but a strange series of ups and downs,
changes and vicissitudes, calling for continual watchfulness, and no
small amount of energy; in a word, I was a hero to myself, and it is
wonderful what a degree of interest can be imparted to life simply by
that delusion. My business at Agram was soon despatched. No news of the
precarious condition of our “house” had reached this place, and I was
treated with all the consideration due to the confidential agent of
a great firm. I passed an evening in the society of the town, and was
closely questioned whether Carl Bettmeyer had got over his passion
for the Fraulein Sara; or was she showing any disposition to look
more favorably on his addresses. What fortune Oppovich could give his
daughter, and what sort of marriage he aspired to for her, were all
discussed. There was one point, however, all were agreed upon, that
nothing could be done without the consent of the “Baron,” as they
distinctively called the great financier of Paris, whose sway, it
appeared, extended not only to questions of trade and; money, but to
every relation of domestic life.
“They say,” cried one, “that the Baron likes Bettmeyer, and has thrown
some good things in his way of late.”
“He gave him a share in that new dock contract at Pola.”
“And he means to give him the directorship of the Viecovar line, if it
ever be made.”
“He 'll give him Sara Oppovich for a wife,” said a third, “and that's a
better speculation than them all. Two millions of florins at least.”
“She's the richest heiress in Croatia.”
“And does n't she know it!” exclaimed another. “The last time I was up
at Fiume, old Ignaz apologized for not presenting me to her, by saying,
'Yesterday was her reception day; if you are here next Wednesday, I 'll
introduce you.'”
“I thought it was only the nobles had the custom of reception days?”
“Wealth is nobility nowadays; and if Ignaz Oppovich was not a Jew, he
might have the best blood of Austria for a son-in-law.”
The discussion soon waxed warm as to whether Jews did or did not aspire
to marriage with Christians of rank, the majority opining to believe
that they placed title and station above even riches, and that no
people had such an intense appreciation of the value of condition as the
Hebrew.
“That Frenchman who was here the other day, Marsac, told me that the
man who could get the Stephen Cross for old Oppovich, and the title of
Chevalier, would be sure of his daughter's hand in marriage.”
“And does old Ignaz really care for such a thing?”
“No, but the girl does; she's the haughtiest and the vainest damsel in
the province.”
It may be believed that I found it very hard to listen to such words as
these in silence, but it was of the last importance that I should not
make what is called an _éclat_, or bring the name of Oppovich needlessly
forward for town talk and discussion; I therefore repressed my
indignation and appeared to take little interest in the conversation.
“You've seen the Fräulein, of course?” asked one of me.
“To be sure he has, and has been permitted to kneel and kiss her hand on
her birthday,” broke in another.
And while some declared that this was mere exaggeration and gossip,
others averred that they had been present and witnessed this act of
homage themselves.
“What has this young gentleman seen of this hand-kissing?” said a lady
of the party, turning to me.
“That it was always an honor conferred even more than a homage rendered,
Madam,” said I, stepping forward and kissing her hand; and a pleasant
laughter greeted this mode of concluding the controversy.
“I have got a wager about you,” said a young man to me, “and you alone
can decide it. Are you or are you not from Upper Austria?”
“And are you a Jew?” cried another.
“If you'll promise to ask me no more questions, I'll answer both of
these,--I am neither Jew nor Austrian.”
It was not, however, so easy to escape my questioners; but as their
curiosity seemed curbed by no reserves of delicacy, I was left free
to defend myself as best I might, and that I had not totally failed, I
gathered from hearing an old fellow whisper to another,--
“You 'll get nothing out of him: if he 's not a Jew by birth, he has
lived long enough with them to keep his mind to himself.”
Having finished all I had to do at Agram, I started for Ostovitz. I
could find no purchaser for our wood; indeed every one had timber to
sell, and forests were offered me on all sides. It was just at that
period in Austria when the nation was first waking to thoughts
of industrial enterprise, and schemes of money-getting were rife
everywhere; but such was the ignorance of the people, so little versed
were they in affairs, that they imagined wealth was to pour down upon
them for the wishing, and that Fortune asked of her votaries neither
industry nor thrift.
Perhaps I should not have been led into these reflections here if it
were not that I had embodied them, or something very like them, in a
despatch I sent off to Sara,--a despatch on which I had expended all my
care to make it a masterpiece of fine writing and acute observation. I
remember how I expatiated on the disabilities of race, and how I dwelt
upon the vices of those lethargic temperaments of Eastern origin which
seemed so wanting in all that energy and persistence which form the life
of commerce.
This laborious essay took me an entire day to write; but when I had
posted it at night, I felt I had done a very grand thing, not only as an
intellectual effort, but as a proof to the Fräulein how well I knew how
to restrict myself within the limits of my duties; for not a sentence,
not a syllable, had escaped me throughout to recall thoughts of anything
but business. I had asked for certain instructions about Hungary, and on
the third day came the following, in Sara's hand:--
“Herr Digby,--There is no mention in your esteemed letter of the 4th
November of Kraus's acceptance, nor have you explained to what part of
Heydager's contract Hauser now objects. Freights are still rising here,
and it would be imprudent to engage in any operations that involve
exportation. Gold is also rising, and the Bank discount goes daily
higher. I am obliged to you for your interesting remarks on ethnology,
though I am low-minded enough to own, I could have read with more
pleasure whether the floods in the Drave have interfered with the rafts,
and also whether these late rains have damaged the newly sown crops.
“If you choose to see Pesth and Buda, you will have time, for Count
Hunyadi will not be at his chateau till nigh Christmas; but it is
important you should see him immediately on his arrival, for his
intendant writes to say that the Graf has invited a large party of
friends to pass the festival with him, and will not attend to any
business matters while they remain. Promptitude will be therefore
needful. I have nothing to add to your instructions already given.
Although I have not been able to consult my father, whose weakness is
daily greater, I may say that you are empowered to make a compromise, if
such should seem advisable, and your drafts shall be duly honored, if,
time pressing, you are not in a position to acquaint us with details.
“The weather here is fine now. I passed yesterday at Abazzia, and the
place was looking well. I believe the Archduke will purchase it, and,
though sorry on some accounts, I shall be glad on the whole.
“For Hodnig and Oppovich,
“Sara Oppovich.
“Of course, if Count Hunyadi will not transact business on his arrival,
you will have to await his convenience. Perhaps the interval could be
profitably passed in Transylvania, where, it is said, the oak-bark is
both cheap and good. See to this, if opportunity serves. Bieli's book
and maps are worth consulting.”
If I read this epistle once, I read it fifty times, but I will not
pretend to say with what strange emotions. All the dry reference to
business I could bear well enough, but the little passing sneer at what
she called my ethnology piqued me painfully. Why should she have taken
such pains to tell me that nothing that did not lend itself to gain
could have any interest for her? or was it to say that these topics
alone were what should be discussed between us? Was it to recall me to
my station, to make me remember in what relation I stood to her, she
wrote thus? These were not the nature I had read of in Balzac! the
creatures all passion and soul and sentiment,--women whose atmosphere
was positive enchantment, and whose least glance or word or gesture
would inflame the heart to very madness; and yet was it net in Sara to
become all this? Were those deep lustrous eyes, that looked away into
space longingly, dreamfully, dazingly,--were they meant to pore over
wearisome columns of dry arithmetic, or not rather to give back in
recognition what they had got in rapture, and to look as they were
looked into?
Was it, as a Jewess, that my speculations about race had offended her?
Had I expressed myself carelessly or ill? I had often been struck by a
smile she would give,--not scornful, nor slighting, but something that
seemed to say, “These thoughts are not _our_ thoughts, nor are these
ways our ways!” but in her silent fashion she would make no remark, but
be satisfied to shadow forth some half dissent by a mere trembling of
the lip.
She had passed a day at Abazzia--of course, alone--wandering about that
delicious spot, and doubtless recalling memories for any one of which I
had given my life's blood. And would she not bestow a word--one word--on
these? Why not say she as much as remembered me; that it was there we
first met! Sure, so much might have been said, or at least hinted at, in
all harmlessness! I had done nothing, written nothing, to bring rebuke
upon me. I had taken no liberty; I had tried to make the dry detail of a
business letter less wearisome by a little digression, not wholly out of
_apropos_; that was all.
Was then the Hebrew heart bent sorely on gain? And yet what grand things
did the love of these women inspire in olden times, and what splendid
natures were theirs! How true and devoted, how self-sacrificing! Sara's
beautiful face, in all its calm loveliness, rose before me as I thought
these things, and I felt that I loved her more than ever.