The borough is in commotion; the public spirit of the place, which is
cold without excitement, has become warm with; and every one, with the
understanding of an infant, is in arms for one or the other of the
candidates.
The bill-stickers are beginning to stick up for the different parties to
the approaching contest, and a linendraper has cut his principles to
ribbons by selling his favours to both sides. The Liberal candidate has
just come into the town, and has taken an oath that he will not spend a
shilling in the contest; so that, unless his agents understand business
better than he does, his return to Parliament is out of the question;
but his return to the place from whence he came would be the wisest step
possible.
The Tory candidate has taken another course, and all the voters in his
interest are reeling drunk about the streets, prepared to fight, or in
fact to do anything but to stand up for him.
The nomination took place yesterday, when the show of hands was
decidedly in favour of the Liberal; but, on the Tory being proposed,
there was an extensive show of cabbage-stalks, one of which was
transplanted into the eye of the honourable candidate. Most of the hands
that were held up had something upon the nail; and it is generally
rumoured that all the ten-pounders were loaded to the muzzle, at a
dinner given by a committee-man from London, on the popular side, who
ran away with the money entrusted to him to pay the bill, rather than
damage the good cause by letting in a proof of agency. He preferred,
like a true patriot, letting in the landlord.
The Corn Laws are, of course, the subject of much difference of opinion;
and one of the candidates is in favour of a sliding scale, while the
other declares that skates are the only things that ought to come in
upon it. He expressed also his conviction that we have no less an
authority than that of Lord Nelson for resisting, and even for evading
the fixed duty; "for," he exclaimed, "were not these the last words of
the gallant hero—'England expects every man to do his duty'?—which is
equivalent to a strong recommendation to every man 'to do' the
authorities who collect the duty at the custom-house."
The Income Tax has caused an immense sensation in the borough, and the
blind beggar who stands at the corner of the street, who evidently sees
the matter in its true light, is indignant at having to expose the
amount of his earnings. He says it is an immoral law, for it places a
tax on the offerings of benevolence; but he admits that the Tariff
offers him some equivalent, by letting in timber at a lower rate, and
giving buoyancy to the trade in lucifers. Many declare they do not know
what their income is, and on being told they must find it out, reply
that they certainly cannot find it at home; while others, when called on
for a return of what they have made, ask for a return of what they have
lost, a query by which the assessor is generally much mystified. Moore
and Murphy have sent back their papers without filling them up, but in
answer to the demand for an account of their last year's profits, have
sent copies of their respective almanacks, in every line of which "no
prophets" is glaringly written.
Our Liberal candidate speaks very plainly on the subject, and declares
that he would rather see his constituents without any incomes at all,
than that they should be liable to the odious measure. His views on the
Tariff are of the same bold and startling character. He denounces the
Government for letting in more asses, and plainly tells the electors
that they ought to stand up for themselves, and assert the sufficiency
of native asses for all reasonable purposes.
The Tory has been trying the old game of kissing the children, and
chatting with the wives, but the independent electors are not to be
gammoned in this manner, as they formerly used to be. He nursed Mrs.
Snooks's twins for half an hour yesterday, and having had them so long
in his arms, he, of course, spoke the truth when he said he knew what it
must be to have a young family on one's hands, and how very glad the
parents must be to get them off as soon as possible. He has also bought
cats enough, at ten pounds a head, to stock an island the size of St.
Kitts; but ten to one if the voters come to the scratch after all, and
if they do there will be the clause in the new act that will be sure to
catch hold of him. The election will proceed to-morrow, and arrangements
have been made with an extensive rubbish carter to bring up the
out-voters, who are expected to prove regular out-and-outers in favour
of the Liberal. The Tory is compelled to resort to the truck system, on
account of his opponent having taken all the other modes of conveyance,
and there is no doubt that a vehicle for party purposes will be made of
it.
The hustings have just come to the earth with a frightful crash, the
scaffolding having given way just as a poll was being loudly demanded.
The confusion was, of course, dreadful. An unbending Whig fell on to the
bald head of a Tory; and a stickler for the "five points," which are
always in his mouth, received between his teeth the end of a
walking-stick. A free-trader, who expresses openly his antipathy to
anything in the shape of protection, was fortunately saved by a plank
falling in a slanting direction over him; and a well-known participator
in the late strike got a severe blow on both arms, which must keep the
hands unemployed for a long period. The rival candidates are being
looked for among the rubbish, and a man is at work with a spade, so that
it may be supposed then situation is somewhat _infra dig._ at present.
Both must have received a few plumpers, and the state of their
respective polls must be rather unsatisfactory.
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