Several Members took the oaths, and the Speaker took his seat, when
six-and-twenty members all at once were on their feet. The standing
order then to move some dozen did begin; and, in compliance with it, the
Speaker ordered in, for all the honourable members, each "a go" of gin.
The worthy representative of Monmouth Street began to bring before the
house his well-digested plan, for making up the _deficit_, by taxing
every man who should be found to own a baked potato-can.
He went into the history of _taturs_, from the day when first the sun of
science shone with resplendent ray, and pointed out for baking them the
most delicious way: he traced the rise of cans from the very first of
all, when they used to manufacture them particularly small, until the
later era, when they made them very tall, with half-a-dozen lanterns,
from which the light would fall, the notice of the populace unto the can
to call, and, like a very basilisk, the little boys enthral.
The member then for Battersea, in an impressive speech, brought on his
promised motion for giving Chelsea Reach, and also Twickenham Meadows,
another member each. He said, and while he said it, he acknowledged it
was true, that those who lived at Battersea and Twickenham were few, but
unto them the suffrage undoubtedly was due, because it had been given to
Hammersmith and Kew.
The great election compromise was then at length discussed, and it was
soon decided that the sitting member must, upon a charge of bribery,
from out his seat be thrust; because he had corrupted, with a pot of
beer, a crust, and bit of cheese, a voter who took away the dust.
The watercress and radish trade presented a petition, complaining very
bitterly of their distressed condition, and praying that the Parliament
would put a prohibition on foreign cress and radishes, which caused a
competition that threatened to annihilate at once the home vendition.
The House, in tongues as numerous as e'er were heard at Babel, expressed
at once a wish to do whatever it was able, and ordered the petition,
then, to lie upon the table.
But now the long discussion was eagerly resumed, upon the knotty
question, whether those who wern't illumed with a knowledge of the
reading art, could ever be presumed fit persons unto whom the nation's
guidance should be doomed? 'Twas argued very cleverly, and was by all
confessed, that, as the members had not been by property oppressed,
enabling them to sympathize much more with the distressed, and, as they
were with very slight qualifications blessed, perhaps, if they had none
at all, it would be for the best.
The House was now impatient, and many rose to say, that they had
listened long enough, and wished to get away; for they had sat
sufficient time to constitute a day, and therefore hoped the Speaker no
longer would delay, in ordering to each of them their ordinary pay.
With this the feeling of the House appeared to coincide; the Speaker to
the treasurer for funds at once applied, and at the sight of money there
arose, from every side, one universal clamour of—"Divide! divide!
divide!"