"Most epic poets plunge _in medias res_,"
So, as the better plan with scenes like these
(At least, the quicker),
I treat the past as a "foregone conclusion,"
Whereby the reader's saved no small confusion,
Seeing my "_dram_ personæ" are in liquor.
Opens our scene what time thus spake the host
(A gentleman who has two friends to dine,
That two, as you perceive, are soused in wine,
Like Jacob's swine):
Rising to do the honours of the board
(His "case of drink" such as became a lord),
"I beg to pro—po—pop—prop—pose a toast;
Not to my honourable friend that's down,
For he al—sted—dead—ready is done brown;
But to the gentleman before me there
(Is there a pair?),
Filling, with so much dignity, his chair:—
A toast, the very birthright of a nation,
Where virtue is the attribute of station;
A toast, were I the swi—swe—swain that delves—
Or peer, or plebs, I'd drink while I'd a hand
To hold a glass in—or a leg to stand—
"Our noble selves."
* * * * *
Thus sped affairs—up stairs,
Or, properly to speak it, in the _salon_
_A manger_, where a group of the _élite_
Were busied in the intellectual feat
Of swilling claret by the gallon.
I said "up stairs," however, let me state,
To indicate
That, under the aforesaid festive _salle_,
There lay a spacious subterranean hall,
Cellar, or, with your leave, we'll call it vault
(Because the word is wanted for the rhyme),
Wherein, at that especial point of time,
There sat a party deeply gone in malt;
Consisting of two Christians and a nigger
(Meant, you will understand, to represent
Servants of the establishment),
Now, let me beg you to observe the figure,
Whereby the artist hath pourtrayed the latter—
Nothing in ebony was ever fatter;
In look and leer a more incarnate satyr;
How better could he illustrate our matter,
Which _is_ a satire?
Hark! Mungo speaks—"O golly! what a go
Them four-um-twenty bottle ob a row,
Beer in um casks, and claret on um shelbes
Come, massa butler! neber spare um whack;
Mungo shall drink, so long as Mungo black—
'Our noble selbes.'"
* * * * *
Smile on—but have a heed, least, soon or later
Apply the "_de te fabula narratur_."