Some excitement has been caused among the learned bodies on the
Continent, by the discovery of a new Chlorine Bleaching Fluid, of novel
and unexampled powers, the invention of which is due to Professor
Jügler, of Scampsburgen. Not only has it the power of removing the most
permanent stains from a person's character, but it also clears the most
muddy conscience in the course of a few applications; and a small
quantity applied to the head as a lotion is gradually absorbed and
filters through the brain, removing in its course all unpleasant
reminiscences and uncomfortable thoughts. Its mollifying powers have
been tested on a number of the hardest substances, including the heart
of a metaphysician, which, in a few seconds, it entirely humanized.
Diluted with water, and sprinkled on the floor, it purifies Houses of
Parliament, Lawyers' Offices, Private Lunatic Asylums, Cheap Schools,
and Race-course Betting-stands; and, used medicinally, a few drops,
taken internally, blunt the intellect, and if administered before a
trial, will totally destroy any _souvenir_ of a former event that it may
be deemed advisable to get rid of in a principal witness. We ought in
justice to add, that the Mnemonic Tincture was also the discovery of the
talented Jügler, which is equally useful in causing persons to recollect
things that never happened at all.
Photographic Portraits. Whilst the Adelaide Gallery and Polytechnic
Institution of London are vying with each other for superiority in
producing those remarkably pleasant-looking and cheerful
representations, Mons. Le Cœur, of Paris, has adopted his new system of
taking them, which it seems he addresses especially to young engaged
people. The optical structure of the human eye, it is well known, forms
a Camera Obscura, by whose action the lineaments of the loved one are
correctly stamped upon the heart. The chief difficulty has been
experienced in fixing the picture so formed; for it appears that,
_after_ marriage, there are few, if any, traces of the features that
were impressed there _before_.
Amongst the Patents taken out during the past year, the
Polyglossographic Adamant Steel Pen ranks high in estimation. It is
particularly recommended to the notice of the public, for the facility
with which it enables people, not only to write in any language they
like, but to transcribe with grammatical elegance.
The Parvenu Medium Point is invaluable to those ladies and gentlemen who
have experienced a sudden rise in their fortunes; as it saves them from
exposing their want of education to their epistolary friends.
The Platino-Zincoid Poetical Nib will write Stanzas to Mary, and lines
to a Moss Rose, in any quantity; peculiarly adapted for Albums and
Fashion Books. To paid, regular contributors to Annuals and Magazines,
who revel in the mill-horse style of writing, it will be found of
incalculable advantage.
The Romance Rhodium Quality will furnish tales for newspapers at a
column an hour, varying in thrilling intensity, or historical epoch,
according to the ink used, which may, it appears, be procured with the
pens. The Newgate Writing Fluid is the most popular at present.
The Patent Circumslogdollagizing Leader Pen will prove highly
advantageous to gentlemen of the Public Press, from the facility with
which it produces leading articles on any popular theme. We had the
satisfaction of trying a Corn Law pen, which answered admirably; and we
hear the ingenious inventor has manufactured Chartist, Commentary, and
Abusive pens, on the same principle, as well as Review Nibs.
The Engineer of the North-south-east-western Counties Railway undertook,
for a trifling wager, to travel at the rate of twenty miles a second,
and actually arrived at the appointed station some time before he
quitted the terminus! He states that this intense velocity is obtained
by using gin and water in the engine, instead of water alone, which
imbues it with a species of temporary intoxication.
The _Leviathan_ steamship, to run between England and America, will be
launched early in the Spring. Great fears are, however, entertained as
to whether there will be room enough in the Atlantic for her to turn
round, without damaging her bowsprit between Liverpool and New York.