Did you ever know a sentinel who could tell what building he was keeping
guard over?
Did you ever know a cabman, or a ticket-porter, with any change about
him?
Did you ever know a tradesman asking for his account who had not "a bill
to take up on Friday?"
Did you ever know an omnibus cad who would not engage to set you down
within a few yards of any place within the bills of mortality?
Did you ever know a turnpike-man who could be roused in less than a
quarter of an hour, when it wanted that much of midnight?
Did you ever see a pair of family snuffers which had not a broken
spring, a leg deficient, or half-an-inch of the point knocked off?
Did you ever know a lodging-house landlady who would own to bugs?
Did you ever know the Boots at an inn call you too early for the morning
coach?
Did you ever know a dancing-master's daughter who was not to excel
Taglioni?
Did you ever know a man who did not think he could poke the fire better
than you could?
Did you ever know a Frenchman admire Waterloo Bridge?
Did you ever know a housemaid who, on your discovering a fracture in a
valuable China jar, did not tell you it was "done a long time ago?" or
that it was "cracked before?"
Did you ever know a man who didn't consider _his_ walking-stick a better
walking-stick than your walking-stick?
Did you ever know a penny-a-liner who was not on intimate terms with
Lytton Bulwer, Capt. Marryat, Sheridan Knowles, Tom Hood, Washington
Irving, and Rigdum Funnidos?
Did you ever know a hatter who was not prepared to sell you as good a
hat for ten-and-sixpence as the one you've got on at five-and-twenty
shillings?
Did you ever know a red-haired man who had a very clear notion of where
scarlet began and auburn terminated?
Did you ever know a beef-eater go to the play in his uniform?
Did you ever know a subscriber to the Anti-Cruelty-to-Animals Society
who didn't kick the cat?
Did you ever know a lady with fine eyes wear green spectacles?