I rite to inform you our caws is quite the top of the tree in these
parts, nerely all the publicks is ruined and shut up quite private, the
checkers is xchecker'd—the baileaves is in at the rosemary bush—and
there's not a sole to shak ands at the Salitation—nothing but whimpering
at the whine waultz, instead of dancing and tostication so the wendors
of spirits is quite dispirited and at the hintermedihate nobody wont go
to be drunk on the premises. Our parson hoo nose the sin of spiritual
lickers as inroled isself and some of the jentry as hates gin as jined
us, the sqwire too sais he will sine and sail with us as long as he
dosnt go out of site of port. We holds quite a strong meeting weakly but
drinks nothing but Tee total and as abolisht XX intire and marches quite
connubial together round the pump to the tune of Andle's water music but
we as now less occasion for the spout and shall soon dew altogether
without my unkle which is a relashun you will be glad to hear for as we
have left off our cups we have less need of the balls, but I am sorey to
sea all our happytites is sadly hincreased witch is wery detrimental and
hilconvenent at this critearyon of the ear. We was extorted last weakly
meeting by a new member a norrid drunkerd but now quite a reform
carrikter sins his money was all gone and nobody wont trust him. His
discoors was quite headyfying for he is a tailer and goos about in the
good cawse since he left off gozzling. Before he jined us he was alwise
stupid drunk and beatin his wif and now he never gives his mind to
licker. Just at the beginning he was quite affecting and could not get
on without a go of brandy which we thought very rum. He as given up his
trade witch was his sole dependanse sinse he lost all his plaices and
know dout he will be trew to us til somthink else befalse. Dere frind
thease is the first Hoctober as we as passed without a brewin witch it
looks rayther brown but hope to bear it—and we are getting quite
hammerous of our tease witch at first was very tormenting but now the
slow leaves goes off as fast as gunpowder and them, has as gardings
makes the how-queer mixter, but I am afeard I'm a bit of a bore as the
learned pig sed and so conclood