"My own blue belle, my pretty blue belle,"
How deeply in love with thee I fell!
And graciously you receiv'd my suit,
While digging away at a Hebrew root:
But ah! you us'd me wondrous shabby,
To turn me off for a Jewish Rabbi.
My next fair belle was a lively dame;
But I found if I dar'd to advance my claim,
And ventur'd to marry the lovely _Bel_,
I should take to my arms the _Dragon_ as well.
For such an event I was too old a stager,
So I yielded her up to a triple Bob Major.
Now belle the third was a charming belle,
Who many a tale of love could tell;
But just as I thought that "constancy
Was only another name for she,"
Away she ran with an Irish fellow,
And basely proved a _horrida Bella_.
The belle my fancy next did choose
Stood six feet high in her low-heel'd shoes;
But when I took courage my tale to tell,
My _Belle Sauvage_ prov'd a _savage belle_.
I didn't much mind her being a strapper,
But I couldn't endure her terrible clapper.
But belle the fifth was the belle for me;
I was charm'd by her sweet taciturnity.
To ring this belle I a wish possess'd,
But _dumb bells_ always open the _chest_,
Which made me fear she'd get to the _till_,
And so, alas! I'm a bachelor still.
Advertisements Extraordinary.
THE INDUSTRIOUS FLEAS will continue to perform their operations in every
part of the British dominions, most especially during the Summer months,
to the infinite delight and satisfaction of millions of his Majesty's
subjects, many thousands of whom have expressed themselves quite tickled
with their ingenuity.
* * * * *
MR. PUFF respectfully announces that he is authorized to state, that he
has received instructions to declare, that he will submit to public
competition the whole of the superb and genuine HOUSEHOLD FURNITURE and
EFFECTS of the late SIMON SQUANDER, Esq., deceased: comprising, among
other valuables, a capital cast-iron library, containing upwards of 5000
wooden volumes, bound in calf, and 500 illegible manuscripts beautifully
printed; an excellent self-willed never acting pianoforte; a superb
suite of wrought iron window curtains; four splendid cobweb carpets; an
invisible sofa; two capital India-rubber mirrors; a large stock of flint
table and bed-linen; straw fenders and fire irons; leather
looking-glasses; a set of calico dining tables, with chairs _en suite_;
about 10,000 ounces of pewter plate; and an excellent paper clock,
warranted not to go. The whole will be sold by auction, without reserve,
on the First of April next. Catalogues to be had of the Auctioneer.
* * * * *
MOST REMARKABLE FACT!—There are now living at Manchester, six persons,
whose united ages reach the enormous amount of one hundred and twenty
years! And, strange to say, they are all in full possession of their
ordinary faculties!
[Illustration:
DECEMBER—'Boxing Day'
]
┌─────────────┬───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│1836.] │ DECEMBER. │
├─────────────┼───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│ │Holiday joys have some alloys,— │
│ │ For many they're bitter pills, │
│ │When all the dearest _ducks_ come home │
│ │ From school, with their long _bills_, │
│ │And the noisy waits at midnight chime, │
│ │Convince you it is _Wakation_ time. │
├──┬──────────┼──────────────────────────────────────────┬────────────┤
│ M│ Season's │ =Odd Matters.= │ WEATHER. │
│ D│ Signs. │ │ │
├──┼──────────┼──────────────────────────────────────────┼────────────┤
│ │ │ │ │
│ 1│The │ │ │
│ │ │ "BOXIANA." │ │
│ 2│season's │ │ Now │
│ │ │I HATE the very name of _box_; │ │
│ 3│signs │ It fills me full of fears: │would it not│
│ │ │It 'minds me of the woes I've felt │ │
│ 4│this │ Since I was young in years. │ be better │
│ │ │ │ │
│ 5│month │They sent me to a Yorkshire school, │ ⚹ ♄ ♓ ☉ ♄ │
│ │ │ Where I had many knocks; │ │
│ 6│do │For there my schoolmates _box'd_ my ears, │ │
│ │ │ Because I couldn't _box_. │ │
│ 7│greatly │ │ than such │
│ │ │I pack'd my _box_; I pick'd the locks; │ │
│ 8│vary │ And ran away to sea; │ │
│ │ │And very soon I learnt to _box_ │ │
│ 9│in │ The compass merrily. │ ☌ ♄ ♂ │
│ │ │ │ │
│10│manner │I came ashore—I call'd a coach, │ │
│ │ │ And mounted on the _box_; │ weather │
│11│too │The coach upset against a post, │ │
│ │ │ And gave me dreadful knocks. │ wisdom │
│12│that's │ │ │
│ │ │I soon got well; in love I fell, │ as this, │
│13│most │ And married Martha Cox; │ │
│ │ │To please her will, at fam'd _Box_ Hill, │ │
│14│extr'or- │ I took a country _box_. │ ☽ ☿ ♍ ♊ ♉ │
│ │ │ │ │
│15│dinary: │I had a pretty garden there, │ │
│ │ │ All border'd round with _box_; │ that I │
│ │ │ │ should │
│16│if you │But ah, alas! there liv'd, next door, │ │
│ │ │ A certain Captain Knox. │ arrive │
│17│are │ │ │
│ │ │He took my wife to see the play;— │ at the end │
│18│rich │ They had a private _box_; │ │
│ │ │I jealous grew, and from that day │of my tether│
│19│why │I hated Captain Knox. │ │
│ │ │ │ │
│20│then │I sold my house—I left my wife;— │ ♃ ♄ ♍ │
│ │ │ And went to Lawyer Fox, │ │
│21│you're │Who tempted me to seek redress │ │
│ │ │ All from a jury _box_. │ without │
│22│warm │ │ │
│ │ │I went to law, whose greedy maw │ │
│23│and │ Soon emptied my strong _box_; │ having │
│ │ │I lost my suit, and cash to boot, │ │
│24│jolly, │ All thro' that crafty Fox. │ │
│ │ │ │ prophecied │
│25│but if │The name of _box_ I therefore dread, │ │
│ │ │ I've had so many shocks; │ │
│26│you're │They'll never end,—for when I'm dead │ ☍ ♀ ☽ ♐ │
│ │ │ They'll nail me in a _box_. │ │
│27│poor,— │ │ │
│ │ │ │anything at │
│28│cold │ │ │
│ │ │ │ all about │
│29│hungry │ │ │
│ │ │ │the matter? │
│30│melan- │ │ │
│ │ │ │ │
│31│choly. │ │ ♀ ♐ ♄ ♊ ♑ │
│ │ │ │ │
└──┴──────────┴──────────────────────────────────────────┴────────────┘